IVF failure cry

[Sana]

Hello everyone!

I was very happy to find this forum - It helped me not to get crazy from pain and dissapointment. I know now that I am not alone!
We were trying to get pregnant for 3 years before we found out that my husband's motility is very low 5-10 % at best. Unfortunately, few months after that a new problem with the low sperm count was added (he did not have that problem before). After consulting with the doctor we were sent to the reproductive center. We were told that our only hope would be IVF. I do not know why but we were given 70%(!!!!!) of sucess. Though the average rate everewhere is 25%. We went for it and 2 days ago my pregnency text was negative. Because of those 70% given I was not ready for the failure at all. During the egg retrievel 18 eggs were removed, 16 got fertilized (using the Ass. Hatching), 9 started to devide, 3 embryos were transfered in my uterus. The rest 6 did not make it so no freeze could be done. I cannot express my feelings and pain. I thought I would die! My embryos were already babies for me and it was like loosing them.
How do you guys find the strenghs and hope to try over and over again? I read at this forum that some of you tried 4-5 times? At this point all I feel is emptiness and pain.
Does anybody have the same problem with the husband's sperm? (I am 26 and there is nothing wrong with me at this point). When I asked the doctor about possible medication for my husband, supplements and diet he said that Once the motility goes down there is nothing that could be done. I would appriciate any advice or suggestion. Thanks. Sana

[Smita]

Hi Sana,
I'm sorry you had to go through disappontment in your first try..I hope you feel better soon..
About sperm motility and count, I don't have much of a clue- there are a lot of ladies here who cant help you on that count, but I do know that taking vitamins and minerals along with a proper diet for 100 days helps the sperm..but I dont know if it improves the count or the motility, sonce sprem regenerate every 3 months or some such thing..
I know I didn't help much, but just wanted to welcome you to the site and wish you lots of luck for success on your next effort.

smita

[jay]

my husband also has low sperm motility and he did 2 tests and they both showed the same, after this i did some resrach and gave him about 5 brazil nots and pecan nuts everyday to eat and tries to include fresh veg and fruit into his diet. we also went to see a chinese dr and he does acupuncture to improve the sperm and takes some herbal medicine too. we then did a third sperm test and it showed that his sperm motility had gone up and it was almost normal!!

the problem is we dont know what could have caused this, whether the nuts, herbal meds or acu...???

so there is hope dont worry...im in the 1st cycle of ivf ans starting my injections tomorrow, is it fils then we will try natuarally!!

hope this helps

[dancola]

Sorry to hear you’ve had such a rough time with your first cycle. Think it’s a shame you were given this 75% success rate figure – it’s just not true. The average rate is around 33% and it can be better or worse depending on the clinic and other factors like your age, whether you do blastocyst transfers etc.

Our problem is or was just male factor (poor motility, volume etc) and we have done ICSI. Did you do IVF or ICSI as to be honest if it’s male factor then ICSI is your best option. However, sounds like you had a great fertilisation rate. You can improve the health of sperm by taking various vitamins, nuts (as said above, Brazil nuts are good as they contain selenium). I also put DH on a course of Proxeed which is a supplement containing carnitines. Sperm takes 3 months to evolve and then another 72 days to mature, so ideally you need a minimum of 3 months but ideally 6 months to notice a difference.

As for coping, well it all depends on your mindset. I’ve had 3 –ve cycles so far (OK, the first was +ve but I m/c) and I have a fairly pragmatic nature. I know the rates of success are low but still pray it will work for me one day. Some people swear by PMA and if that works for them, fine. I prefer to be more pessimistic although I was very optimistic this last cycle and it hit harder. You do get over it though and start thinking about the next round.

[Sana]

Hello Ladies,

Thank you so much for your replies! You are so helpful and it makes me feel better to know that there is a hope. I was not given an option of IVF with ICSI. But I will discuss it this week during my appointment. Meanwhile I am going to try everything - nuts, herbs, supplements, accupuncture and a visit to Chinese doctor. Good Luck, Jay, with you treatment. I hope it will work for you. There are a lot of couples who have luck on their first attempt of IVF. Sorry, Dancola, that you had to go through this for 3 times. I hope you will get pregnant soon! Congratulation, Smita. From what I understood you are expecting!!!!
think the second attept could be easier - if it is possible to say that. Because at least you know what to expect and you are more aware of the positive rates. Thanks to all of you!!!!! Sana

[Tracii]

Hi Sana, My DH also had low motility - 10% on his first test, second test was 21% and third test was 56%. I am not sure where his motility is now but hoping it is still around 56%. DH is eating healthier - more nuts and veggies....also stress plays a huge role. With the first test DH was under an incredible amount of stress, he then changed jobs and is much happier.

[pixiesmom]

I haven't been on here in months, but I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel. Our 1st ivf was last March. We were told that we had a 95% chance of pregnancy since we had 3 children already & are both "perfecty healthy & normal". I don't remember the exact numbers, but they were pretty good until day 3. At day 5 we had 2 left & they weren't good enough to put back, so we never had any to put back. The next cycle was in June with the same outcome. It just goes to show that you never really know & stats are just numbers. I am in the process of a total donor cycle now since we don't know which one of us has a problem & we just want a baby. It probably doesn't feel like it right now, but you are fortunate in knowing where the problem lies. You are young, so you have time to consider your options & try any alternatives to build up your husbands sperm if possible. I would like to make a suggestion to you. Decide how many more cycles you are willing to try with your husbands sperm & stick to it. It is very easy to keep telling yourself "just one more time" ,but I think it gets more stressful each time & you have pinpointed the problem & if you are open to it donor sperm may be your answer. I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel & wish you the best of luck. pixiesmom

[Terri2]

Hi Sana

I really feel for you. I just finished 6 months of clomid and am about to have a hycosy (to check tubes) then if all okay start on injectables. How I'm going to cope with it all I don't know as Im not coping now!

However, since finding this site, I am coping better than I was. It is a life saver! I found it at just the right time. I just ran out of friends who are not pregnant!

My friend who has been trying for 3 years found out at the beginning of the year that her husband had a low sperm count. I think his morphology was 3% and his count was okay but not particularly high. He took zinc for 3 months and ate healthier and each time his results improved. The last test showed morphology 11% plus his count doubled and that was only about 3-4 months after he started on zinc. Then he started chinese herbs a few months ago. Then she started chinese herbs for one month and is now pregnant.

Needless to say my husband is now on zinc. His results aren't too bad but could be improved. I have also read a lot of success about Vitamin C. My DH is on 1000mg a day. I just started chinese herbs too a month ago. No luck this month but the chinese doctor said it will take about 3 months to make a difference. Tastes awful but trust me, a week into it and you don't notice.

A lot of people here recommended I get the Zita West Guide to Fertility which I did and I hope this will help. We have given up alcohol and coffee. Can't believe we are missing caffeine more than alcohol! This book is certainly good reading and made me feel more positive and hopeful.

I don't feel that doctors give us enough (if any) information on improving sperm. My friend was given no advice at all so she did her own research and look where it got her! She had been attending a clinic and noone suggested any supplements at all, they told her the only option was IUI. She never got that far.

The proof is here with everyones success stories.

[Tilly]

Hi Sana, just thought id chip in. Fortunately, me & DH have just had BFP after our first round of IVF. I was ovulating maybe only 3/4 times per year(i never did find out how many) and DH had 3 poor sperm tests

Whilst i appreciate the splendid job the hospital did, we were pretty much left to our own devices regards research. Husband, after loads of research on the net, as he exhausted the topic, started taking Vitamin C capsule, a Beta Carotene capsule, a chelated zinc capsule and an E400 capsule. All available in Holland & Barrett.

Sounds alot, but he took these 4 every night whilst having tea was no trouble. He bought an IPOD and went walking (fast) every night for 20-30 mins and went on a healthy-ish diet, whilst always drinking 2 litres of water per day, which everyone should be doing anyway.

We only bought organic for ages, wherever possible, museli, bread, biscuits, drinks, meat, although not chicken as an organic chicken costs a mortgage. (free range is cheaper).

He cut out tea and coffee and started drinking green tea. He worked out that he was having 6 coffees per day in work, and over the month this was over 120 mugs of coffee. After 3 months of the tablets, we were eventually ready for the treatment, which as you know drags on. He then had a final sprem test just before treatment and all levels were massively raised. So all in all, all these little measures helped and he is now an expert at making the super powered Broccoli Soup.

Hope my rant is of some help. Good luck with the future.

Tilly

[Terri2]

Tilly..........do you mind if I ask you.....did you try anything else before IVF? My problem seems to be they don't think I was ovulating very often, not totally sure really. I've had six months of clomid with no success and probably starting injectables after hycosy. Did you do any of this before doing IVF?

[CC]

Hi Sana
I'm so sad to hear your news and to hear how devastated you feel. I too thought the world was ending on our first IVF - like you I had two 'babies' in me, I'd even named them Lauren and Charlie!! I was so convinced it would work I hadn't considered failure and when I started bleeding half way down M1 on way to london I'm ashamed to say that I collected the blood in tissues all day and brought it home with me because I didn't want my 'babies' to be put to rest anywhere other than at home! l can tell you that coping with the outcome of treatment gets easier over time. Yes it's always distressing but you'll never again feel that terrible shock of absolute confidence in your treatment dissolving into bitterness and depression. If you feel you can - have another try, we were delighted to fall pregnant with our 3rd fresh IVF cycle with embryos that weren't great quality. There's a huge amount of luck involved as well as the fact that each treatment your cliinc gets to know your body that little bit better so I've read that statistically your chances increase with each cycle you do. Don't get too hung up on sperm - you only need one after all and you don't want to make DHs life too difficult. You should definitely investigate ICSI though (all our treatment has been done by ICSI) because you have the advantage that they select and inject the best-looking sperm into each egg. Perhaps you should consider a different cliinc if yours doesn't do ICSI? Anyway good luck with it all - keep positive, you'll get there in the end,
Cherylxx

[Sana]

Hello everybody,

I cannot find words how to thank you for all your replies, kind words and advice!!! I was so touched and felt very embarrassed that I was so close to give up. It hurts to fail but you are all right - there is a hope. And if there is a hope, we should go for it. I wish you all good luck and will let you all know about my next attempt. I will discuss ICSI with my doctor because for the last few days i learned a lot about it. If there is a male factor involved - that could be the best solution.

Thank you to all of you!!! Sana

[jamato253]

Sana,

My husband has low count and low motility...His numbers compared to similar men were promising but as we were told at our clinic, our only option is ICSI....After 3 attempts I am 15 weeks pregnant....The reason for multiple tries was they had to get the stimulation meds right with me which is unfortunately trial and error...Different people respond to different protocols....There is hope as you will learn on this board and you can't give up after the first try....It took me two and a half years to try again after my first time cause I was convinced I was pregnant...>Cause nobody explained to me that I would have symptoms of pregnancy simply cause I was injecting progesterone....Then this time we did two cycles in a row....First I did a clomid/repronex/follistim cycle which produced 12 eggs, 9 fertilized, 6 were made it to day 3 transfer....No pregnancy...Next round skipped the clomid and just did reporonex/follistim and i produced 18 eggs, 14 fertilized and 2 put pack in on day 5 transfer....and voila!

[Sand]

Hi there ... Why don't you buy Zita West's book "Fertility and Conception". It's got lots of tips and info, including how to improve spermies ..

Sandra x

[rouge]

Hi Sana,
My husband had some problems as well. The doctor diagnosed him with varicoceles (some form of varicose veins which resulted in unclean blood going to the testicles) which caused the sperm quality to deteriorate. He performed a laparoscopy on him to block off that vein or artery (sorry I can't remember the details), and since then, the sperm quality has improved in all aspects (count, motility, morphology etc). In addition, he was also given Vitamin E and zinc to take daily.