July/August Mummies

[Juliana]

Hi girls,
Like Debra, even though my babies are a bit older now, I also like to read about your exciting first months of being mummies. after all of us waiting for it so long! I used to weigh my babies every day and get quite worked up if they did not out weight, especially Nadia who was born so small.
Toni I can relate to you feeling that you are constantly feeding, i am certain that's all I did until I got them onto the 4 hour feeds and later to solids. i just did not have any life at all! It will get better I promise! But I must say I feel I would not have managed without Gian Ford 's routine, it helped so much to get them on the same rhythm. of course, when one baby's small you still have to wake and feed both at least that's what I did , so greedy Alex was getting night feeds long after he did not need them I do hope you find a way that works for you, Gina Ford is indeed restrictive, but I felt at least the routine gave me some control over my time by keeping them on the same schedule!
Sophie, I do hope the cranial sessions work and the breastfeeding improves. Even if it does not, you are doing your best, that's all we can do!
love and good luck to all of you and your lovely babies!
juliana

Alex also had that terrible breastfeeding etchnique, he just bit the nipple wildly for a while, got impatient and started crying! It was no fun and when my milk declined at about 7 weeks I gave up, with great regret!

[Toni]

Juliana - Im assuming from your post that you are also a twin mummy??!! Lovely, isn't it?!

I have heard many mixed reports about this Gina Ford book - maybe i should give it a go...............................

Twins had their 6 wk check today (being 12 wks old......but 6 wks premature - its all confusing, eh!?) and all was good.

I have got a touch of the flu and Charlotte has picked it up, just a bit. But it breaks my heart as she must feel pretty awful...... As she already has it im giving her lots of cuddles and letting her eat and sleep when she likes for the time being! Today i have steadily felt worse, so im gonna go and have a nap while geoff plays Daddy!

Love to all

Toni x

[Kim]

Hi girls

As you probably know I tried Gina Ford and although I don't stick to her strict regime it has really help us to get Thomas into some sort of routine. He feeds every 3 hours and always has a bath and a feed before bed at the same time every day. I think that even if you have no routine at all if you can bath and feed your baby at the end of each day at least you can start to get a bedtime routine into place.

I took Thomas to a baby massage class today. We learnt how to massage legs and feet. He seemed to really enjoy it - next week it's tummy and chest and I'm really looking forward to it. Thomas spent a lot of time flirting with 13 week old Holly who was next to us but I don't think his gummy smile impressed her much !!

For the last two weeks I've been taking Thomas out for a walk around our village every day - this helps him relax and sleep and the walk gets me out and about and makes me feel good.

Jen - Sorry to hear about Indira's reflux. You sound so calm and together but it must be pretty stressful and very, very hard work.

Toni - I can't imagine what life with twins must be like it's hard enough with only one !! It sounds very demanding and very rewarding and you sound like you love it !!!

Hope all you other girls and babies are well

Love

Kim

[Juliana]

Hi Toni,
Iam sorry i did not introduce myself properly, yes, I gave birth to Nadia dn Alexander 23 september 2004, they were almost 38 weeks but Nadia was dismature, too small as her placenta did not feed her well for the last few weeks. No one could figure out why and we were scared for her but hey you cannot tell now she was born small. So also your twins will be bigger and older and the difference with other kids which seems so big at the satrt will disappear. I was so glad when Nadia started looking the same as the other babies her age...It is really wonderful to have twins and I would not change it for the world!
hope you and Charlotte feel better, ithere are some really nasty bugs around, i just had the flu for a week myself.. so take care
love,
juliana

[Jackie S]

Hi everyone

Wow! doesn't time fly. Joshua is 13 weeks old this coming Sunday -3 months, where as it gone?

I have had an absolute nightmare with Joshua and severe colic. He screams constantly, a high pitched cry and pulls his legs right up to his chest. He has had green poo (indicates tummy pain) and diahrea (sorry if too much info) for about 3 weeks now. I literally have to hold him all day because he can't be comforted - I hate seeing him like this. They sent off a poo sample (the grossest thing I have EVER had to do was collecting it) so hopefully that will say for sure that it is colic -my niece was lactose intolerant and had the same symptoms.

I myself and suffering from post natal depression and a nurse visits weekly and a consultant once a fortnight. I am on anti-depressants and sleeping tablets Fri and Sat when John is home the following day. I was convinced Joshua hated me for the first 4-5 weeks but I know that he doesn't and its more related to my childhood. I am trying to take it one step at a time and its getting more believable to me now when people say I'm a brilliant mum, hopefully it will start to sink in.

I read 10 -12 books to Joshua a day, he likes me sitting in his nursery rocking with him on his chair and reading very quietly complete with silly voices. I love this special time and his cheeky grin is magical. I think because he is tongue tied it makes him look even cheekier and he is definately very strong willed already.

We are going to Tenerife on 14th for 8 nights. It seemed like a good idea and we booked a 4* allocated on arrival holiday approx 2 weeks ago. I think the rest will be good for all of us. I am burnt out and desperately need some sleep (sea air and sleeping tablets) John works very hard and is usually so shattered when he gets home he falls asleep on sofa with Joshua laying across him. So I think it will be good for the pair of them to spend some awake time together. Hopefully Joshua will gain relaxed parents and have lots of fun in the sea.

Kim -I do baby massage with Joshua on his tummy because of his pain, it is relaxing for them isn't it?

Jen -hope the reflux is getting better and Indira is settling down.

Sophie - Did the cranial sessions help Freya? How did she cope with her jabs at her check, Joshua freaked me out the first time because he let out one scream held his breath for about 5 secs and then let aout another scream Wednesday he had his 2nd set and the first leg just a wimper, the 2nd leg -he screamed the place down for about 15 minutes nothing would comfort him at all.

Toni -Charlotte and Thomas must be such lovely babies, its hard work with one how on earth do you cope with 2? Doi they have similar personalities?

Elizabeth -haven't seen many posts from you but I think about you a lot -probably because we got results same time etc Di hope Zack is doing well, I can't believe how everyday they do something different and the excitement you feel?

Debra -it is so nice to read your advice. I don't know if you remeber we tested together Friday 13th February 2004 and both got bad results. I had an early miscarriage and I think you got a negative. I read whats going on with you and can't wait until you get the precious baby you so deserve.

Anyway better go Joshua crying -AGAIN!!!

jackie

[Toni]

Hi all

Jackie - Lovely babies?!?! Ha!!! They are generally a nightmare!!! Thomas is constantly sick, and Charlotte seems to be constantly crying! She is a total drama queen and attention seeker and has got into the habit of crying to be picked up. Nothing works until you pick her up and put her on your shouldre. i spend most of my days walking around doing things one handed!! and she only ever seems to do it when Geoff isn't around! she has also taken to being a difficult feeder. the way she screams when she is hungry you'd think we never fed her! yet when you try to she gives up with still an ounce or 2 to go! Grrrrrrr.........................

Seriously though, make no mistake it is VERY hard work, but i do love being a mum, and it could be worse, i think we are very lucky with the twins. Charlotte loves nursery rhymes, expecially if I lay her on her back and clap her hands together in time (or rather her fists................. ) she is a total smiler when shes not screaming for attention. Thomas is very sleepy during the day cos he gets sick so easy I reckon.

They are both asleep at the moment - they had their second lots of jabs yesterday. Tom was so brave! He did cry but soon calmed down. Charlotte absolutely screamed the place down and from 2pm yersterday (when they had the jabs done) i couldnt put her down or she would scream. She just wanted to sleep on my chest. i had her on my chest or Geoffs til 9pm!!!! So you see, they do have totally different personalities.........

The twins are 3 months old exactly today - its amazing how fast time has flown. they are getting weighed this afternoon and I cannot wait - i love hearing how much they weigh. Thomas is getting really really chubby now, its lovely, i remember bringing him home from hospital and he'd lost so much weight that he didnt seem to fit into his skin properly! I dread to think how he'd look if he WASN'T a sick baby now! two weeks ago they were bordering on 11lbs (Tom) and 9lbs (Charlotte), so fingers crossed they are well on their way to the 12lbs and 10lbs mark respectively.

Im so sorry that things are so difficult with Joshua, I hope you are getting all the help you need?! Im sure the holiday will do you the world of good! oooh Holidays - can't imagine one of them for a long while.

how is everyone else?

Toni x

[DebraP]

Toni, just an idea but would a sling/baby carrier help with Charlotte at the moment? At least you'd have both hands free

hth
Debra.

[Toni]

Hi debra

Thanks for the idea - i hadn't thought of that i think we have one that a freind gave us so ill try it! HOWEVER she likes to have her head over my shoulder so she can see whats going on, so it might not make any difference if all she can see is my chest!

Health visitor just left and the twins were 11lbs 8ozs (Tom) and 9lbs 9ozs (Charlotte) yay! unfortunately Tom has an infection i have just discovered today......................so its off to the docs tomorrow (no surgery this afternoon...............). he doesnt seem in pain and its very common apparently! but i do feel awful for him my poor little darling.....

Toni x

[DebraP]

Toni, I just had a quick look in 'what to expect' and they talk about carriers in the 2nd month so Charlotte should be old enough but I can't see anything about how old they have to be to face out vs. in, which would give her the visual stimulation she's used to.

They do warn of a few things:
* baby overheating if dressed too warmly
* getting bored if facing inwards
* catnapping and then not sleeping properly later.

I guess with twins there's the extra problem of being uneven with your attention(?) + what if she grows to like it too much....!!

Good luck
Debra.

[Kim]

Hi girls

Jackie - Great to hear from you. It sounds pretty tough going in your house at the moment but the way you express yourself when writing about it - it's just so obvious what a brilliant mum you are !! Reading to Joshua and constantly comforting him because his tummy hurts and all that on top of post natal depression, I don't want to sound patronising but it seems to me like you're doing a really great job. I love baby massage it relaxes me as well as Thomas and it makes you feel so close to them doesn't it.

Toni - Hard work and loving it, that's what it's all about !!

Debra - I read that you had 5 and 8 cell embies transferred, that's fantastic news !!

Sophie, Elizabeth and Valli and Jen - Hope you're all ok

Love

Kim xxx

[Jackie S]

Kim

Thank you so much for your kind words -I really needed them today. I went to bed last night at 7.30pm and cried for about 2 hours, couldn't sleep so was up at 6ish tidying up I'm so tired, can't stand laying in bed for 7 hours at night wide awake worrying about everything. I don't get any rest during the day either.

Joshua is brilliant for helping me through the days when I'm really down -because he wants to be held all the time it is a comfort to us both laying on the sofa hugging.

The post natal depression is hard to come to terms with because I have waited so long to be a mum (John and I been together since 1992) and now I have my precious son and I feel like I'm letting him down. Consultant said the constant crying makes him a difficult baby to cope with at anytime without having to deal with PND too.

The thing that is most worrying though is I still have no appetite. I only put on 2kg when I was pregnant, so after Joshua was born I had lost weight and the problem is still there -I have lost 2.6 stone since before I was pregnant! I must admit I didn't realise I had lost that much until my jeans fell down -quick shopping trip was needed that day!!!

I have actually managed to get Joshua to sleep, I fed/changed him and left him on his changing mat while I did some washing he's been there for about 40 minutes -YES!!! Actually he really good at night sleeps from 12 midnight until between 7am -9am (John tells people he's in charge of nightfeeds -git!!) When he does relax he puts his arms above his head and thats it at night -but during the day he is so tired but 'jolts' himself awake when he has a pain.

Can't believe how much I've gone on again!!!

Thank you kim again for your kind words

Love

Jackie

[Dawn V]

Hi Jackie

I don't post very much now but do still browse the board when I get time.
I just wanted to say that you sound a fantastic mum. Our darling son is also called Joshua and is nearly one and reading your post brought back to me how I felt in the early weeks although I never admitted that I might be suffering from pnd. I too felt that after wanting him so much I should be the perfect mother and as I didn't persevere with breastfeeding I felt like a failure. Josh was also very colicky and at about 11 weeks I took him to a chiropractor and haven't looked back since it really has helped him. he still goes once every 5 weeks now. I remember those 'jolts' which would wake him and start him screaming in pain! It is so hard because that cry is heartbreaking. I remember that laying him face down across my lap and rubbing his back used to help although I'm sure you've tried all of that!
Anyway what I really want to say is that I think we put a lot more pressure on ourselves because of the whole ivf route and the long journey we've been on to get here so please remember what a fantastic mum you are and how much your precious little man loves you.
love
Dawn & Josh

P.S Just wondered how the birth was because difficult births can have a huge effect on how well babies settle, we had a very long difficult one so Josh had cranial therapy which worked very well.

[Jackie S]

Hi Dawn

Thank you SO much for your reply -its good to see other mothers make it through the severe colic stage -sometimes it feels like it will never end. The PND you and I both had makes things seem magnified which makes those feelings of despair even worse.

I saw my consultant on Friday, we are having to wean of the anti de pressants again (need upping in dose but getting too many side effects /making my epilepsy worse). So I starting cutting amount on Saturday, and reduce again for 11 days at which point we will be back off holiday. then I'll have 4 days with nothing in my system and start a new regime. I have also been given Valium (diazapam, and more sleeping tablets for when we are away). THey said my PND is quite severe.

On a really positive point (I know this shouldn't make me happy!!!) I was getting everything ready for our holiday all weekend which left John 'holding the baby' all day long 12-13 hours each day. Joshua cried all day both days and couldn't be comforted -at last John got a real taster of how hard it is looking after a baby on your own. But the really good thing from my point of view is as soon as I came in and gave Joshua a cuddle and read him a couple of stories (before returning to the ironing and packing and.....) Joshua smiled for a few minutes and then fell asleep. Man did it feel good seeing I comforted him!!!

Like I said I Know I shouldn't be happy but I do need those little boosts occasionally for usually the situation is reversed.

In answer to you question -we had a c-sect booked for the Tuesday but I had a streak of blood on Sunday and telephoned the hospital who said go straight down. So I wasted 2 hours and then went to hospital. I was getting 'pain' well dicomfort ever 4 minutes but just thought the baby was having a day off!!! (He was such a kicker). Anyway got to hospital, examined, said I was 5cm already -I hate to say it but no pain at all. John was given theatre scrubs-told to get anything we need from the car -cameras etc by the time he'd come back all consents had been signed and I was on my way to theatre -just 40 minutes after arriving at the hospital. The birth was beautiful so I didn't have a difficult birth at all.

Thanks again for sharing your experience -isn't Josh one around the end of the month? I cycled with you beginning of 2004 and always look out for your messages.

Love

Jackie

[Jackie S]

Toni

Thank you so much for the personal message -it did cheer mu when I saw it!!!

Thank you also for the encouragement you offered, I feel like I am finding some comfort in you all instead of all the 'pull yourself together' or 'theres no such thing as post natal depression' comment I keep getting off family.

It truly means a lot to me and hopefully if there are any others with the same problem it can help them too.

Thanks again

Jackie

Ps how do you reply to a PM

[Toni]

Hi

Same as on here Jackie - hit the 'Post Reply' button at the top of the message...............................

Toni x