unsociable

[KTF]

Hi Terri,

How's things? Have you heard back from your friend yet? Any how is DH, when's he back?

Lots of questions I know!

KTx

[Terri2]

thanks for asking after me KT, you are very thoughtful.
I wrote an email to my friend to tell her how I feel and sent it yesterday so I assume she got it today but have still not heard from her. I am gutted and feel totally let down. I told her I would have spoke to her face to face but she never sees me anymore so I had no choice but to email. Noone can understand it as its not like her. She has even been mailing my friend in Bristol who is also pregnant but they are not close at all. So that just makes me feel worse.

Anyway, apart from that, all is okay, hows things with you?

and how is everyone else??????????????

[Smita]

Terri,
I think u need to go out more and meet better people..
I know we're there, but we all need someone to see hear and laugh with once in a while and I feel your friend has become very busy or very insensitive..
I can't imagine how low you feel..
Cheer up girl.. we're always here

smita

[Terri2]

My friend rang tonight. I can't believe I don't feel any better about it all after talking to her. I don't think she even said she was sorry. Just kept saying she's been tired and feeling sick and hasn't seen anyone. It has been about a month since I saw her. I used to see her almost every day.
I understand she might not come round as much but to not even ring or text, especially after my test last week.
The icing on the cake was when she tried to turn things around and said when she told me she was coming round to see DH before he left, I said I would be out and she felt hurt by that! The true story is I said I won't be in because I'm going to the infertility support group (which she knew about as we had planned to go together). I said did she expect me to actually cancel going to that to see her!

She just didn't seem very sorry and I am still feeling like crap.

She said she didn't know what to say to me! Of all people she should know and plus a text takes two seconds to send just to say how are you to someone. It was like talking to a different person, not to the person I have been friends with since the age of 4. I never thought she could be like this.


she said she'd call me ina few days but I don't think she will. I didn't think anything could feel that bad after the last month I have had. I was feeling better after my test and this just feels awful.

[Smita]

Terri, honey,
all I can think of is, maybe she feels guilty that she's pregnant and you're not there yet and she cant handle her emotions well so she's turning away from you..Thats the only logical explanation I think for someone who's been your friend since the age of 4 becoming insensitive..

I'm truly saddened by what you're going thru- don't worry, you'll soon get your dream..

smita

[clair55]

Hi Terri

I really don't know what to say. I'm so sorry that your friend as reacted like this. Just see if she calls you in the next couple of days and take it from there. Perhaps write her a letter she might feel more comfortable writing to you than talking. You both don't need this right now especially you. I really hope you can sort this out.

I'm going to take a break for a little while. Dh and I had a good talk about things and have decided that we are going to save and wait a few months before next cycle. I'm not very rational at the moment and would probably remortage the house to pay for more cycles. Dh was made redundant earlier on this year and has started his own buisness it's doing well but obviously we have to be cautious with finances. Also i'm not handling things very well at the moment. I'm usually a strong person but this experience has really knocked me for six. I feel ashamed for feeling this way because i know so many ladies on here have/are going through a hell of a lot worse than i am. So we have decided to step back for a short while. Please feel free to send me a private message if you want to and let me know how things are going i would love to know how you are getting on(that goes for anyone else as well.)

Good luck ladies and praying for all your dreams to come true. Just like Arnie I'll be back.

love
clairxxxxxxxxxx

[Terri2]

thanks Smita. I still can't stop thinking about this, it was my first thought when I woke up and then ..............all day.
I'm going to try and switch off from it if I can tomorrow as its not doing my stress levels any good.
its funny we always said we would tell each other straight away if we ever got a bfp but if i did now, she'd be the last person I'd tell. and all this has changed in the space of about 6 weeks, I can't believe it.
anyway, thats not going to happen as my dh is in Oz and then when he gets back I'm off to new york. So we miss another try but you know what, I'm okay with it as I'm getting myself healthier so by the time I come back in November, we will be ready to try again.

Hows things with you?

[Mrs M]

Hi Terry,

I have been reading this thread inside out, hope you don't mind me joining.

Im so sorry to hear your friend has been like that towards you.
I totally understand how you feel about having 2 best friends who are pregnant, my best friend is due in less than 2 weeks, Im trying to be very excited for her, as she has been very supportive towards me since AF arrived on Tues, im still due to test tomorrow as per drs instructions,
This is my 1st attempt to IVF/ ICSI, not going to give up not by a chance, our chance will soon be here, so don't give up even when feeling down, try and keep your chin up, hey your off to New York you lucky devil.

Nicky from Birmingham which clinic did you use? I would love to know

love and bigs hugs to all

Mrs M

[Terri2]

Hi Mrs M. You are very welcome and thank you for your words of support. I am totally gobsmacked by how this thread continued. The day that I wrote it I was at my lowest and thought everyone would think I was feeling so sorry for myself! Instead all I got was words of advice and support and of course other peoples stories which helps the most I think.

My best friend who lives somewhere else, got pregnant after 3 months of trying. I kind of expected her not to understand how I felt but she has been the opposite to the one who has been trying for 3 years and is now pregnant. She's been so understanding and supportive. And because of that I feel really happy for her and want to know the details. Its such a strange feeling cos I love to hear it all but it also hurts at the same time. I guess you all know what I mean.
She just sent me a copy of her first scan (she's 12 weeks) and its amazing but at the same time had a pain in my chest! However, I'm totally happy for her and feel really involved which is what i really want.

Sorry that your AF arrived. I know how awful that feels, I normally get depressed for a few days then pick myself up again! Its good you are staying so positive. There are many stories of success on here which really help. Have you got the Zita West book? I have followed her tips and I think that this month I might have ovulated almost on time without using any drugs, thats a first if I have. I have given up caffeine, gone organic, getting exercise, acupuncture, vitamins and because of PCOS cutting down on carbs and sweets stuff.

Take care.

[Mrs M]

Hi Again

Terri2 - how are you feeling today. Hope your feeling a bit chirpier today.
Myself and DH went out for a few hours today as ive hardly been out the house during the 2ww (i just felt like hiding away for a while some days didn't even want to open the curtains) ended up shopping in birmingham huge mistake the whole of the city was pregnant, least DH treated me to a couple of items (bless him) which im very gratefull for but goes to show nothing can help relieve this pain, anyway less of me.

Anymore news or mishaps from your friend or any other friend(s).
Are you finding the healthy diet and exercise change ok, keep at it, it will all be worth it.
I can't wait to get the book like you say its gives some good advice, Myself and DH need a health kick start too, he gotta cut out the beer too, which he has promised, I actually believe him.

Keep me posted on what your up to, and anyone else.

if i don't hear off you have a good weekend.

Love Mrs M

[Tiger]

Hiya Gals, Tiger here .

big G'day from OZ land. Hope you're all having a lovely weekend.

Terri, how many more sleeps left before your hubby comes home? I have only 21 more sleeps to go, 2 more weekends, not including this one - I am dead excited!!

BTW - Friends are funny aren't they? I have this old friend from school - she has a heart of gold - but she is also very dense... she said to me while I was on my first IVF attempt - "What would you do if you did get pregnant but the docs tell you that it is a high risk baby - would you abort it?"... mind you this gal only needs to sneeze to get pregnant so, I don't expect any less or more from her .

Cheers,

[Terri2]

jeez Tiger, that is an unbelievable thing to say to someone! However, my friend who I have been talking about is the type who says inappropriate things all the time too. I am used to that and just let it go over my head but I have never known her to be indifferent like she is now.

Just 2 weeks to go til DH is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hurray. I think I will probably ovulate after I leave for my holiday so we miss another try but I am telling myself this is okay..................just use this time to keep getting healthier.
Glad to hear yours is back soon too!
How was the weather there today? We took my nephews to Gullivers Kingdom (like Dreamworld but for younger kids) and the sun was out for most of the day which is a miracle at this time of year in the UK. We had a great time.

Mrs M, did you get the book yet? I'm off to Birmingham as well tomorrow. I'm having Acupuncture in the bull ring! Its weird lying in a dark room listening to the bustle outside. I love the bull ring but its getting crazy busy there now, last week we had to queue to get on the escalator for goodness sake! I'm hoping sunday will be quieter.

You know I have done different diets before and never stick to them but now I'm doing it to help with fertility I find I have the will power. I'm not overweight but I just want to get healthier. The hardest thing for me and DH was giving up caffeine. I thought it would be alcohol but so far I'm not missing that much. I just miss my coffee!!!!!!!!! However, I have gotten used to green tea with lemon flavour! I do feel better since making the changes. Fingers crossed it will work. My husband read bits of the Zita West book and he has given up beer. I never thought he would do this and I'm sure he wouldn't have without this book! I'm amazed at how well he has done. He's aussie and they like their beer!

Havent' heard from my friend. I have made a decision today though. Whilst I miss her terribly, if she is going to be like this I need to do the same as the stress she has caused me will not help me get pregnant! So if she can be selfish.................I damn well can be too!!!!!!!!!!

how are you today anyway?

[Mrs M]

Hi All

Terri - Thanks for lovely message from other day, sorry for delay, laptop was playing up.
I feel very low again today, maybe the shock and pain has finally sunk in, I was not sure how I would have felt really.
How did your Accupunture go yesterday? Im going to try this during my next treatment. I love the Bullring too!!
I got the zita west book, some very usefull advice some things I didn't realise would help with fertilty, just goes to show what you know doesn't it.
Yeah I agree Bullring Is hectic lately, especially with xmas not to far off now, not even thought about xmas yet, other than the thought that we are going to plan to go away just after xmas day and be away for new year. Went to Vegas last new year was fab. We think going away will make us all refresh before we start our new cycle hopefully in Jan, will see how the appointment goes in Nov.
I honeslty don't blame you for feeling like that abot your friend, you gotta do what is right for you, especially if your going to be doing treatment soon, supposed to be a happy time for couples isn't it. I had a few arguments with a very close friend too, but she is a right selfish one, all me me me, but i can't help liking her. She has also gone abit funny due to the fact I did not tell her about our treatment, isn't it upto us who we tell, oh well some folk just don't think do they. Everything will fall into place with our friends eventually.
What treatment are you having next time? Im having FET for my next treatment. So nere wrecking isn't it, but exciting too.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend or what is left of it...

Love Mrs M xxx

[Terri2]

Hello Mrs M

Can't believe your friend went funny with you for that! Human behaviour is unreal sometimes.

Hope you are feeling okay. These down times are the worst in the world. I don't remember feeling so bad as I did a few weeks ago.....I felt utterly depressed. I couldn't see a time when I would feel better but here I am feeling positive again. I know the same will happen for you too. Maybe start some of the Zita West stuff as that makes you feel like you are doing something positive. I just made myself organic tomato soup.......its lovely. She recommends all organic so I try and stick to that.

One thing I have realised from this is what a good friend I am! I know that sounds like I am blowing my own trumpet but I can honestly say in 33 years, noone has ever said to me that I have let them down big time. Okay so I'm not perfect and I probably do/say the wrong things sometimes but I have always put my friends before most things.
I would never treat anyone the way my friend has treated me.

Las Vegas....................oh memories I have from there. Can't believe you went for new year, that would have been fab. I have been twice, the last time 3 years ago when me and DH got married. We got married at the candle light chapel. It was totally fab! Stayed at the Luxor (not so fab) and had the reception with our friends and family in the Excalibur (briliant). Its one of my favourite places, totally magical.

I had my acupuncture today. It went fine. She's a funny chinese lady who can hardly speak English but has an infectious laugh. I have a bad neck so she did some work on that too which was really good. She gave me new chinese herbs today, especially for PCOS and I was relieved when I took them tonight to find out that they taste better than the last ones. The last one was so bad I had to imagine it was vodka every time I drank it.
The bull ring wasn't quite as bad today. I had planned to get there early but my friend rang me from Oz and I got talking for an hour! So then its hard to get parked.

I'm not at IVF stage yet. I am meant to be continuing on clomid but to be honest I'm not happy about taking it for longer than six months. Most say that if it hasn't worked after six months, it won't work. SO, I have one month left in my pack, I'm going to take them and if nothing happens again I am going to stop taking the following month. We will then try for 2 months without using anything pills or anything (apart from chinese herbs and acu) and if nothing happens still, I will ask to be put on injections. I will have to go private to see my doctor otherwise I'll be waiting til March and I'm not prepared to do this. makes me mad!

hope you are okay, take care.

[Mrs M]

Hi terri,

How are you?

I seem to be having good days and bad days, today seems an ok day but still feel bit low. I agree these down times are the worst ever!
I have been reading the Zita book inside out, DH has already started his change in diet and taking vitamins and eating correct amount of healthy food with all the vital vitamins, hope he sticks to it, he gets bored after a while, but hey don't we all.

How lovely you got married in Vegas. Its an awsome place, we loved it, especially new years eve. we stayed in MGM, we were kinda impressed, but not as impressed by Venitican and bellagio, some great hotels. Thyey are all great to be honest. Where would you have stayed if you have a choice?
Im looking into accupunture at the moment. Will have to find somewhere to go, don't really want to travel to bham everytime, out of my way a Little, myself and DH popped in to see a chinese medical lady based in the bridge between the pallasades and bullring (do you know where i mean), we could not understand a word she was saying LOL....

You getting excited about your DH returning home, silly question I know.

My best friend has only got 2 weeks till birth today, bless her she is blooming now, and all ready just bored waiting. Im so so happy for her but cant help feeling a little jealous. Ive not told her this..

hope your well and everyone else.

Mrs M xx