The Over 40 Crowd

[meandmine]

Caroline,

Just had to post back this morning - you have made me cry - in the best possible way - you hit a nerve because I feel you and I have such a similar view on our circumstances (although I pray yours will be a completely different outcome to my own). Thank you so much for your wise comments and kind words. And to all you you other ladies that have posted since yesterday - thank you so much. Take care.

Love
Sharon

[cmg]

Oh Sharon, you've started me off crying now! You're right I think we do see things in a very similar way, though our circumstances are different - you obviously didn't waste your early 30s wasting your time on unsuitable men!!

I really feel for you and your experience has been a sharp reminder for me that this could all be over before it's even started. God, it's tough isn't it. Still, we are healthy, we are sort of youngish, we are in loving relationships - there is a lot to be thankful for.

take care

Caroline

[JaneR]

Oh Sharan,

I don't really know what to say and Debra and Caroline have what i was thinking so well but I would have trouble writing. I am really sorry for what had happened and please take care of yourself and DH, I really hope you get all the love and support you need. I have to say I really admire how you are dealing with this and how you have looked at your future in such a positive way.

I think you are a very loving and compasionate lady and now looking to new furutre as the chinese say you are moving from a mother of the womb to a mother of the heart, and I think you have a big heart.

Love,

Jane

[JaneR]

Hi Ladies,

Thank you for all your good wishes unfortunately I've just got the results back a -ive. I knew it was but I still feel very upset and numb. I'm home alone and supposed to be working I think I will get my head down and do loads later this afternoon and then get the decorating finshed and then clean the house it will keep both my head and body busy.

I will set up a follow up appointment with the hospital next week and hopefully I will have closure then. I don't know what the future holds for me yet i wish I could be a philosophical about this as you Sharon, Caroline and Debra are, hopefully as the days go on I will gain more strength.

Debra and Katies I have everything crossed for you, I want to see happy smiling facers from both of you. Kat and Caroline it will be your turns soon and again i want happy smiling faces from you too.

Take care everyone,

Love,

Jane

[DebraP]

Jane, my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry you got a -ve.

Whilst you see your clinic next week, is it worth asking about counselling? talking it over with someone who understands what you've been going through might help straighten things out and prepare you both for 'what next'.

I wish you the very best of luck coming to terms with today's result.

love
Debra.

[cmg]

Oh Jane, that's such devastating news. I'm so sorry to hear it. Please don't be hard on yourself and think you should be stronger. This hurts like crazy and you need to cope with it in whatever way works for you. If that means cleaning your house from top to bottom, then set to with that duster. I can be very philosophical about it all right now because I'm not going through it. If my frosties don't thaw or I get a BFN, I know it's still going to be really, really painful and I reserve the right hurt like hell. I don't think there is any way of avoiding the pain, but you will get through it.

Take it one day at a time, don't make any big decisions yet, just look after yourself and DH (DP? not sure). I'd echo Debra's suggestion about counselling as well - I know you're from Yorkshire and you're all meant to very stoic (I'm teasing, honest!) but it really can help to talk to someone who's trained to listen well. And you know you'll always find a sympathetic "ear" here.

Take good care of yourself.

love Caroline

[meandmine]

Jane, I think tears all round today - so sorry to hear your news. I know the last week has been particularly hard for you. My heart aches for you as I know you are finding this particularly hard to cope with (at the moment) but Debra and Caroline are right - of course, it is your decision, and when you are ready, but sometimes it helps to be able to talk to a professional who is completely and personally detached from the situation. I think we sometimes put on a brave face for the other one (that is DH/DF and even friends and family if they were aware of treatment) and we forget that we need to off-load too.

I will be watching Debra's and Katie's progress next week and then will pop back from time to time to see how our other ladies are doing later in the year. If ever you need to chat, please feel free to PM me if you'd rather but for now be kind to yourself - hope you won't be on your own too long today and use the weekend to give yourself a break both mentally and physically.

Love
Sharon x

[Sand]

Sharon ... I've just popped in to say I'm so sorry to read your news. My heart goes out to you. You sound so strong, so brave, and so level headed - with still lots of spare compassion for everyone else. I hope you are able to close this painful chapter soon and move onto a new beginning.

You take care ..

Sandra x

[Katie12563]

Dearest Sharon,
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Katie

[taylorjools]

Sharon, I just wanted to send you a huge cyber {{{{{{{hug}}}}}}} for both you and dh.

I understand also what you mean about trepidation of being a new mum at our age. I just put my 17 year old step son on the train after him being here for half-term and thought - that's how old my kids should be, it's great...maybe that's how it's meant to be??? I don't know, but I want you to know your words ahve given me huge strength in my moments of doubt before this next cycle, so thank you, if it doesn't work (I am going into this knowing I have a very high risk of m/c) your worlds and thoughts may well save my sanity. Maybe it helps you to know you have brought some relief to someone else, even though you are in pain right now.

Love and hugs to you sweetie, and best of wishes for your new future with your wonedrful dh.

bigJ

[taylorjools]

Jane

I am so sorry about your result, you went through so much to get there..

Thinking of you and sending you lots of PMA for whatever you decide is the next step. As always with everyone, please ask if I can support in anyway, I don't post very much at the moment, but I do read the board a lot and check my messages most days. After the investigations we have been through this last 4 months we have been with some of the top fertility experts regarding -ve cycles/m/c maybe some of what I have learned can help???

Anyway, just sending a big hug

bigJ

[JackieT]

jane and sharon
i have just read both your posts and i cant tell you how sorry iam to hear your news,
i dont have any wise words to offer, other than take care of yourselves in the best possible ways right now.
you need your dhs as much as they need you both.
love jackie xxx

[randa2006]

Jane,
So sad to hear about your -ve. DAMN! I'm sorry. I'm at a loss for words. This stuff is so unfair.

[Katie12563]

Jane,
I just read your post...I missed it earlier. I'm so sorry. I agree that this is so unfair. Know that we are all thinking of you and sending you lots of love.
Love,
Katie

[cmg]

Just a quickie for Debra and Katie - I hope the bad news on this thread over the last few days hasn't brought you down to much in the very difficult last stage of your 2wws. Not much longer to go. Hope you can both stay positive.

And Jane and Sharon, I hope you're both ok and doing whatever you need to do to keep going. Take good care of yourselves

Hi to everyone else.

Caroline