has this happened to anyone?

[claire1977]

Hi,

well where do i start.... i have been trying for a baby for over 5 years now and under the hospital for over 2 years now, 1st i was told i have pcos now i have just found out my tube's are badly damaged. I am wait for my hospital date to have a laparoscopy but have been told i have a less than 30% change of being able to falling pregnant naturaly. I asked about IVF but was told I can get it on the NHS due to the fact that my husband already has a child. He was 16 when he had his daughter and his ex married and he dosen't get to see her at all. I cant beleive this is fair and wondered if anyone has any ideas what i can do, there's no way we can afford IVF we both work but there's just no way we could afford it.
can anyone help me?

thanks
claire.

[dancola]

Can’t help you on the NHS front as we pay privately (I will be 40 very soon and just don’t have the time available to be on waiting lists). Not sure how old you are, but I know that some clinics do egg-share which means you give half of any harvested eggs to a recipient and in return you get discounted treatment. Worth investigating?

[claire1977]

this is all new to me i've never heard of that thanks i'll look into it. Im 27 by the way.

[k]

Hi Claire

If you check out the IVF forum on here, there was a post called 'Rules for NHS treatment' which is about the same topic. I think a lot depends on where you live (postcode lottery Im afraid). Things can change, so its worth keeping updated with whats going on in your area.
Good luck. Its a very unfair rule, I hope it works out for you both.
Love Kim

[Terri2]

HI Claire

Why did'nt the hospital check your tubes in the first place, why have they only discovered this now. My clinic let me take clomid for 6 months too before checking my tubes (my test is next week). If I find out theres a problem I will be very upset as now the clomid has not worked I am starting to think this test should have been done before I started the drug.

The IVF rule is so unfair, I can't believe that. I think its awful that different rules/costs apply depending on where you live.

Have you checked the costs of IVF? I checked my clinic the other day and whilst its expensive, it was less than I thought.

[claire1977]

Hi Terri,

I was put on clomid also for about 4 months before this test. GOOD LUCK i hope everything is ok for you!!
I can beleive the rules it's really driving me mad im going to see my mp about it (if i can get an appintment) anythings worth a shot!!

again GOOD LUCK TERRI!!

Clairex

[sooozie surch]

Hi clair. Thanks for posting a reply to my posting.
After posting my message I called my hospital and asked them about rule changes that were supposed to be taking place. They told me that the rules would be changed in the future but it could take years.

Even though We do get access to my husbands son I really do know exactly how you feel.

In my area Ivf costs £3000 I have had information packs from many clinics.
In the end I just decided to save Im almost there but am still aprehensive as to weather it will work because I know how hard it will be for me to save it again. I feel that at least 1 free go would have helped alot but it wasnt to be.

I really do hope you get an appeal.
Keep me postedX

Sooozie

[Susie]

Hi, I felt I had to reply to your post as I was in exactly the same situation as you. My DH has 2 children from a previous marriage who at the time I first wanted children were 16 & 18, and I could not have IVF on the NHS because of these children. I remember saying to my doctor its not fair, do you expect me to sit these 2 adults on my knee and say coochie coo to replace my feelings.
We took out a loan for the IVF as I needed to start straight away as I was really depressed, we couldnt do the eggshare as I have PCOS which is hereditary.
Anyway I hope you have some luck with your MP
Susie

[yorkie]

my husband has a 18 year old daughter and we were also told that we had to pay. A year later I discovered by accident that we should have been told to appeal. Was mid way through 1st ICSI at the time. Wrote to the PCT involved and said that I did not have what they call 'parental experience' (we rarely see my step daughter) and that I felt it was 'unfair to have my right to attempt IVF taken from me' They actully backed down straight away, saying that the guidelines are about to change to ensure women don't get excluded by this. ( I'm in north Lincolnshire - but if they say the guidelines are changing it must mean nationwide) By this point my husband was too old but they backed down again after I complained that we ought to have been told to appeal 2 years ago.

All I can say is complain to anyone who'll listen. The IVF unit told me to write to my MP but I did not take it that far. Look on the Net for your primary care trust's guidelines so that you know exactly where you stand. If they are not there you should be able to get a copy via your GP.



Best of luck

Yorkie

[yorkie]

Hi clair,

its a while since i saw your message and i don't know if you are trying to appeal.

I've already said that i'm in similar circumstances to you and have successfully appealed. we are now trying to be allowed to use our funding at the centre we had our first cycle.

While researching to back up my arguement I discovered that my PCT has changed its rules since I won my appeal BUT THEY HAVE NOT PUBLICISED THIS FACT. (My GP was not aware - but then she did not tell me I could appeal either ) The new rule is that both parties have to have had children before being excluded from funding.

I don't know if this is any help to you but the fact that my PCt has altered their rules to fit in with NICE guidelines might means yours is about to - even if not it is worth pointing out to them that other PCTs are changing their rules and this might back up your arguement for funding. If you need further info let me know IT IS INCREDIBLY UNFAIR TO BE DENIED THE CHANCE TO HAVE A CHILD IN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.

With the help of our IVF unit we have now got our MP on the case.

I know you might not want the hassle at this stressful time but it might be worth putting up a fight.

Best of luck whatever you do

Yorkie.