I am SO sorry.....have been offline for a long time...since my last day of stimming actually and so much has happened since then. I really wanted to talk to you but was bed-ridden.
I have just spent 30mins reading through your numerous messages....wow congratulations
to all you future mums, such wonderful news...SO BRILLIANT to see that it has worked for so many of you. It gives me hope. For those who haven't been so lucky I am sending you my most positive thoughts and wish you to heal fast (hugs hugs hugs).I am now currently in the 2ww zone and starting to seriously freak out. How long can a day be exactly
I have to wait until 31 October (my test day)....the day before my 31st Bday..so I am hoping I will have a lovely Bday pressie. 
I am trying desperately to remain positive but it is so hard...with moments of serious doubt slipping into my mind throughout the day and the "what ifs"...
What destabilises me the most is that I have bearly witnessed any signs apart from the sore breasts (progesterone induced).....does this mean anything
I am so nervous about the 31st.... I am refraining from doing any testing though, but it is still early days.... I may give in!
Well... at least the bloating has stopped and for that I was thankful as I had a mild mild case of OHSS. The Dr says it was because I am very slender! I have NEVER seen my tummy like that before..... I guess I looked 6 months pregnant and felt like I hadn't been to the WC for weeks on end
! Anyone with a pin could burst me like a bubble. 
I was already very uncomfortable when I went in for the EC...but it went well and they retrieved 9 eggs. However coming out of my drug-induced sleep I had a panic attack that lasted 40mins and had the doctors and nurses seriously worried as my heartbeat was off the charts one minute and flat-lining the next. I think I also traumatised my poor DH who held my hand whilst my body shivered for 40mins. Anyway...I was released later in the day and we went home to wait for the results. Well the next day was a sad day for us...consider me greedy but out of 9 eggs (5 IVf; 4 ICSI) we only had 3 eggs fertilise, none of them were from the ICSI....I was heartbroken as I thought there would be more and we could freeze them.
I was bloated for 3 days and felt terrible.
Additionally, we weren't sure whether our little ones would survive... as the embryologist said that two of them weren't developping very fast
. On the day of ET (on Day 3), I had to come in with a full bladder which was really painful as I desperately had wanted to pee since 3am! They made me wait from 9am to 11am before doing the transfer...I thought I was going to go nuts as I was completely obsessed with peeing They had me fasting too in case I needed to be fully sedated. Apparently I'm a difficult case when attempting to get a catheter inside me and they didn't want to take any chances. It all went smoothly apart from wanted to pee all over the dr when she inserted the catheter Was ordered to bed for at least 4 days.... so now here I am, mobile and interactive
I am feeling much better, my tummy feels normal again and now just waiting to see whether my three little angels have stuck. I don't know what I will do if they don't hang on in there... my DH won't be with me for the results, I have to wait 2 days until he returns from abroad. That scares me too.
I really hope you are all doing well and send you the only PMA waves I have left.
I will write to you all later.....thank you Camilla for your sweet message and to you Lola for making me smile SO much. You're a life saver! You should write professionally
Hugs to all of you buddies out there
Little R
) things get a bit better towards end of deregging and so far the stimms have only caused 1 loss of reason and logic that registered above an OMG on the Are You Having A Laugh? scale of ridiculousness.