JOKES and POSITIVE THOUGHTS

Discussion group for all topics related to infertility including preparation for pregnancy, causes, investigation and treatment of infertility.
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Smita
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Posts: 2817
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:53 am
Location: From India,living in Abu Dhabi

Post by Smita »

Thats a very lovely story Jeni..
what goes around, does come around.
Keep up the Positive thinking :D

smita
me-32, dh 40
ttc 4+ years
4 failed IUI's
1st ICSI +ve 17/6/05:)
Baby girl Dhruvaa born on 14/02/06
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;53;30/st/20060214/n/Dhruvaa/dt/8/k/07ce/age.png[/img]
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souris
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Posts: 977
Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2005 2:16 pm

Post by souris »

what a fantastic thread!! Jeni, that was a GREAT idea!
Thanks to all of you for the jokes!!
It really made my day!

Chears!

SOuris
xxx
Me 27, DH 55
04/ 05 ICSI -tive 02/06 ICSI. No fertilisation
09/ 06 ICSI. BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks.04/07 ? ICSI -tive
04/08 ICSI BFP!!! M/C at 12 weeks
Feb 09 6th ICSI has started! neg
June 09 7th ICSI. Please make it happen!!
Cla
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Posts: 636
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2005 9:11 am
Location: UK

Post by Cla »

Not so sure these are "positive thoughts" but some of these sure are tempting!!!!!

Image

Things Stressed WOMEN Say At Work...
>
> 1. Look in my eyes...do you see one ounce of gives-a-crap ? 2. You
> say I'm a ***** like it's a bad thing. 3. Well this day was a total
> waste of makeup. 4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
> 5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
> 6. Do I look like a people person?
> 7 This isn't an office. It's hell with flourescent lighting.
> 8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
> 9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
> 10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and
> senseless acts of self-control?
> 11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
> 12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
> 13. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
> 14 I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
> 15. Stress is what you have when you wake up screaming and you
> realize you haven't gone to sleep yet.
> 16. Back off! You're standing in my aura.
> 17. Don't worry, I forgot your name too.
> 18 I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
> 19. Not all men are annoying . Some are dead.
> 20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
> 21. Chaos, panic and disorder...my work here is done.
> 22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
> 23. You look like crap.... Is that the style now?
> 24. Earth is full. Go home.
> 25. Aww, did I step on your little itty bitty ego?
> 26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
> 27. You are depriving some village of an idiot

Cla
xx
Me: 35 DP : 38
1st time IVF - Aug/Sept 05 -ve
FET - Jan 06 - BFP!!!
[img]http://tac.families.com/ezb/842130.png[/img]
Jeni Babes

Post by Jeni Babes »

thanks souris, have you not got any jokes to add ?

Cla -some good ones in there.... I especially like...

3.Well this day was a total waste of makeup. and
6. Back off!!! your standing in my aura.

keep 'em coming.

love jen
xxx
Jeni Babes

Post by Jeni Babes »

BUMPING THIS UP FOR LYNNE.

check out some of SMITA'S jokes they are so funny

love jen
xxxxxxxx
Smita
Valued Contributor
Posts: 2817
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:53 am
Location: From India,living in Abu Dhabi

Post by Smita »

This is not so funny, but well, might bring up a smile..


A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day. He
rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a
divorce for him "very quick".

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"

POLE: "Ja, ja, an acre and half and nice little home."

LAWYER: "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

POLE: "It's made of concrete."

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a grudge?"

POLE: "No, we have carport, and no need one."

LAWYER: "I mean, what are your relations like?"

POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."

LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

POLE: "Ja, we have hi-fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."

LAWYER: "Does your wife beat you up?"

POLE: "No, I always up before her."

LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"

POLE: "No, she white."

LAWYER: "Why do you want this divorce?"

POLE: "She going to kill me."

LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"

POLE: "I got proof."

LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"

POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."

:)
smita
me-32, dh 40
ttc 4+ years
4 failed IUI's
1st ICSI +ve 17/6/05:)
Baby girl Dhruvaa born on 14/02/06
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;53;30/st/20060214/n/Dhruvaa/dt/8/k/07ce/age.png[/img]
Smita
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Posts: 2817
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:53 am
Location: From India,living in Abu Dhabi

Post by Smita »

A store called Husband Mart that sells husbands has just opened. A woman can go there and choose a husband from among many men. The store consists of 6 floors. As you open the door to any floor you can choose a man from that floor or choose to go up to the next floor.
But you cannot go back down to a previous floor, except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to Husband Mart to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?"
So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" And up she goes again.

The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, and help with the housework.
"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!"
And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.
"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at Husband Mart and have a nice day!

:D
What do you think girls??

smita
me-32, dh 40
ttc 4+ years
4 failed IUI's
1st ICSI +ve 17/6/05:)
Baby girl Dhruvaa born on 14/02/06
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;53;30/st/20060214/n/Dhruvaa/dt/8/k/07ce/age.png[/img]
Jeni Babes

Post by Jeni Babes »

SMITA,
the pole one was so funny. Image i really liked it!

Husband mart, i had heard before.. It still made me laugh tho. Image

I don't think we women are impossible perfectionists but to some extent WE LIKE THE BEST WE CAN GET!!!. Actually we are just on a higher level of communication and multi tasking than guys are. Image


Smita keep em coming cos they really cheer me up.
Love
jen
xxx
Jeni Babes

Post by Jeni Babes »

What do you think of this......... :D

Chinese meal

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the
"Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded
cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises
slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around
before the lid slams back down.
"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it
and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before
it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is
happening,and demands an explanation.
"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"
The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

Your going to love this....................

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck"


jen
xxxx
NickiMark
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Posts: 4504
Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2005 5:04 pm
Location: UK

Post by NickiMark »

two nuns in a bath,
one says where's the soap?
the other say's yes, it does, doesn't it!!! :lol:
TTC 6yrs......Have jumped off the rollercoaster for now, too many BFN's and too much heartache, to keep going....Moving on to fulfil other dreams!!!
[img]http://dl7.glitter-graphics.net/pub/68/68547cwg98wmzcn.gif[/img]
Smita
Valued Contributor
Posts: 2817
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:53 am
Location: From India,living in Abu Dhabi

Post by Smita »

:oops: :oops: Nicki,
didnt understand that one.. dimwit that I am..

smita
me-32, dh 40
ttc 4+ years
4 failed IUI's
1st ICSI +ve 17/6/05:)
Baby girl Dhruvaa born on 14/02/06
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;53;30/st/20060214/n/Dhruvaa/dt/8/k/07ce/age.png[/img]
Jeni Babes

Post by Jeni Babes »

Smita............the soap is in her EAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! silly billy

jen
xxx
Smita
Valued Contributor
Posts: 2817
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:53 am
Location: From India,living in Abu Dhabi

Post by Smita »

:oops: :oops: :roll: i'm so silly..
me-32, dh 40
ttc 4+ years
4 failed IUI's
1st ICSI +ve 17/6/05:)
Baby girl Dhruvaa born on 14/02/06
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;53;30/st/20060214/n/Dhruvaa/dt/8/k/07ce/age.png[/img]
Jeni Babes

Post by Jeni Babes »

Smita it must be the hormones....we will let you off!!!
Image

jen
xxx
Smita
Valued Contributor
Posts: 2817
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2005 2:53 am
Location: From India,living in Abu Dhabi

Post by Smita »

:D :D
Its an easy excuse aint it??

Keep positive everyone!!
Keep Smiling!

smita
me-32, dh 40
ttc 4+ years
4 failed IUI's
1st ICSI +ve 17/6/05:)
Baby girl Dhruvaa born on 14/02/06
[img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;53;30/st/20060214/n/Dhruvaa/dt/8/k/07ce/age.png[/img]
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