The 30-40 Group

[chanteq]

Chanteq - FET Jan/Feb 2006
Cla - FET in Jan.
Chinamiff - Treatment in Uk Dec/Jan
Gailp - FET Nov/Dec - ET 30 november (not conf)
Holly - FET November (?!)
Jag - ICSI December
Jkos - Start stims 11/11
KT - IVF 2006 - testing (?!)
Mrs M - new appoitment 11/11
Nicki - DIUI - next scan 11/11
Pam - FET December(?!). Waiting for af
Rachel - IVF november
Stephanie - ER 6/11.
Sue e - FET Jan/Feb
Xristina - ?
Pauline - ?

[NickiMark]

Chanteq - FET Jan/Feb 2006
Cla - FET in Jan.
Chinamiff - Treatment in Uk Dec/Jan
Gailp - FET Nov/Dec - ET 30 november (not conf)
Holly - FET November (?!)
Jag - ICSI December
Jkos - Start stims 11/11
KT - IVF 2006 - testing (?!)
Mrs M - new appoitment 11/11
Nicki - DIUI - scan 14/11...Also waiting for surge
Pam - FET December(?!). Waiting for af
Rachel - IVF november
Stephanie - ER 6/11.
Sue e - FET Jan/Feb
Xristina - ?
Pauline - ?

[Cla]

Hey Nicki - Have posted a message on the other thread - but again fab news about the follie!!!!! Keep up the good work!!!!
Chanteq - Love your smileys!
Chinamiff - How does having treatment over here affect your work life (if you do work?) Do you have to take entended leave?
Gailp - I don't really know much about medicated. Is it a similar protocol to IVF (without the collection?)
Holly - Am I right in thinking you've just started your FET (I seem to remember reading something on another thread but I can't remember )
Jag/KT/Mrs M/Pam - Hi - looks like there will be a few of us overlapping cycles!! Will be great to have some company this time around!
Rachel - Sorry - again I'm sure I've seen this on another thread, but what stage are you at in your IVF?
Wow - quite a few of us now and I'm sure this thread will just grow.
Sorry if I've missed anyone! Can be a bit of a clutz at times!
Cla
xx

[Paula]

Hi Girls,

I was still in my 30's for half of the year. Mind if I join you??

Not sure what i'm doing at the moment. Still waiting for DH to come home. I think i've seen him for one weekend in the last 5-6 weeks

Currently i'm waiting for a dr appt on the 21st to get the results of a load of tests I did earlier this month. One of these tests was the egg timer test. I think that will tell me whether or not I have any eggs left. Not to sure on that though, so when I find out more I'll let you know. Unless anyone here has had the egg timer test? If you did, i'd love to hear how it went for you.

Will be starting DHEA as soon as dh gets home. He brought it in from China on his last trip. DHEA is something Heather told me about in the Aussie forum. It's being used in a fertility clinic in New York right now and apparently they're having alot of success stories from women who've taken it. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Well, that's about it for me for now. Hope everyone had a great day today, and hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!

Love and Huggs
Paula

[Cla]

Hi Paula!
Course you're welcome!!! Haven't heard of the egg timer test I'm afraid so can't help there.
I saw on the aussie/Kiwi post you were waiting for dh to return before starting the HFEA. Am fascinated to see if it works for you as it seems to be a relatively new thing?! (PS - Soz I was being nosy on that thread ) When does he come home?
soon I hope!!!!!
Cla
xx

[Chinamiff]

Hi Girls

Hope everyone is feeling good, especially with the weekend coming up. I've been working like a dog the last few months trying to prepare for the time I'm going to need to spend in the UK, so I'm looking forward to a chilling weekend.

Gailip, you asked why I came to China - 4 years ago I was asked to come and help set up a purchasing department, originally for 6 months, but it got extended and here i still am. My DP came with me, which is a great help. I really enjoy it, but it is hard work and long hours, unfortunately i'm linguistically challenged, so I'm still struggling with the language.

Cla, its been difficult to make any arrangements, I work in a very male dominated environment, most of the men think women only work for pin money and that child care is the responsibility of the women, so as soon as I mentioned that I needed to do this, they were supportive, but I've also felt like I've committed career suicide. We always said that if we had children DP would be the house husband, so I feel in the scheme of things its only a short period of time that I'm asking for their support. Anyway they agreed for me to work in the UK office for 3 months, so I really need to be successful first time...it does happen, so I' keeping a positive mind.

I didn't really want to tell anyone, so apart from my bosses and a couple of close friends in China we've kept it quiet from family.

My DP thinks we should tell the family , but i dont want the sympathy vote and the walking on egg shells if things dont work.

Anyone else have a different opinion from their other half?
How is anyone else balancing work with IVF?

[Cla]

Chinamiff,
Who to and not to tell is a difficult one. I had every intention to only tell family, but got so caught up in things that I couldn't keep quiet! Didn't bother me during the treatment (I actually found it theraputic to talk about each stage) but SERIOUSLY regretted it when it came to the 2ww. I didn't tell anyone my test date, and just fobbed people off with "oh not sure when we find out. Have to go for a few scans and stuff first etc. etc". Some people took the hint and left me alone, but others just kept on and on - it really p***d me off in the end.
I actually run my own business which has it's good and bad points. Yes, there is no-one to answer to re: time off etc. but then if I'm not working, things simply do not get done. I do have a business partner who I kept informed and she was very good about everything BUT she doesn't have/never wanted children so cannot empathise (and to be honest was one of the people that didn't take the hint).
On the one hand you do need support through this, but being chosy who you tell is very important. Do the family know about fertility problems at all? Could you tell them a quick precis about treatment (i.e. - we're having xyz done but as would be the case in a natural conception dh and I would really like this to be a private conception. If we need help/support we will ask but please respect the fact that we would really like to work through this as husband/wife).
Unlike me who frankly would have told complete strangers had my parents told me not to talk to them when I was a child!
Won't be online now till Monday so all have a great weekend!
Cla
xx

[chanteq]

Dear Chinamiff,

Your story really caught my eye. I've had some years working in a foreign country where English is not the main language too, and by god, I understand that this is the time you need emphathy and support from your friends and collegues the most. You seem like a very successful career woman, and I applaud you and DP's decision to have a child.

Quote : "My DP thinks we should tell the family , but i dont want the sympathy vote and the walking on egg shells if things dont work. "

I understand how you must feel at this, and I personally share your sentiments on keeping it to yourselves for a just a while longer. Most of us here are either working or studying while trying out for IVF, and can unanimously agree that the demands of treatments can put a large strain physically and mentally as it progresses to the final 2WW. Since you're only given a period of time (3 mths?) to embark on the tmts while at the same time continuing daily work, I urge you to gather all strengths to face the ups and downs of tmts head on. YOU GO, GIRL! You can have all the virtual cybersupport you need right here.

On behalf of all the ladies here, I sincerely wish you and DP all the best for your oncoming tmts in the UK. Keep us updated on your developments!


~ Chanteq ~

[Chinamiff]

Although I've posted on here a few times, i've never actually got into a conversation about this stuff.

I'm the kinda person who can talk to anyone about most things, so people who know me would say i am very open, but actually for things that really matter in life I'm pretty cautious what i say.

Cal, family dont know, actually they think that we dont want kids, and for a long time I didn't. I think age changes you and experiences in life put different perspectives on things. We only found out ourselves 8 months ago that my tubes were blocked due to endometriosis, before then we were trying for a year or so. For me, at the moment, living away from family and friends actually helps. I think if I told my parents they would feel sorry for us, which I would hate, also my mother already worries too much about me, I dont want the pressure of adding to her worry. DP is an only child, his parents never put any pressure on us to have kids, but I think they would be very supportive, but his mum would be too excited to keep it secret. We have been together for 16 years, so I think most people who know us consider we are childless out of choice.

I can understand during your 2ww that you wish you hadn't told anyone, people think they are being supportive, but I can imagine the only thing you want to hear is "yes" at the end of it.

What is your business?

Chanteq - which country did you live in? I tried doing IVF in China, but after going through several steps (internals in a typical chinese hospital are not recommended if you want to leave with some dignity) we had to stop because we weren't married, strict rules in China, just as well because the doctor didn't speak any english and my chinese was not upto all the medical jargon.

Its strange, I was offered promotion at the same time we found out about our fertility problems. it was a really good chance, but I didn't think too hard about it. I'll pick up the career again later...unfortunately age is not in my favour, so this cant wait.

For someone who doesn't say much about important things, I've certainly gone on a bit

Thanks for listening
xxx

[NickiMark]

Chanteq - FET Jan/Feb 2006
Cla - FET in Jan.
Chinamiff - Treatment in Uk Dec/Jan
Gailp - FET Nov/Dec - ET 30 november (not conf)
Holly - FET November (?!)
Jag - ICSI December
Jkos - Start stims 11/11
KT - IVF 2006 - testing (?!)
Mrs M - new appoitment 11/11
Nicki - DIUI - Sun 13/11/Mon 14/11...Then 2ww, testing 27/11
Pam - FET December(?!). Waiting for af
Rachel - IVF november
Stephanie - ER 6/11.
Sue e - FET Jan/Feb
Xristina - ? Pauline - ?

[NickiMark]

China, I know u preparing for a cold one here in UK... but really its quite mild, some eveing's not even had heating on.....

You'll be fine my dear, good luck x

[jkos]

Hi ladies,

Just popping in to see how everyone is doing. I started stimms last night -- mixing the meds was a little confusing but it's done. I have had a headache all day today which I've heard other girls speak of so I guess it's pretty normal. My husband is away for the weekend so it's a little lonely doing all this without him for a couple of days. He'll be back tomorrow late afternoon -- can't wait as I really need a hug!

How are all of you doing? I'm trying to keep track of everyone's progress and thinking positive thoughts for all of us!

Have a good night all
jkos

[Chinamiff]

Thanks NickiMark,
I fly back on the 19th December, hopefully its gonna stay that way, but I always pack far too many clothes anyway. My mother always says, its not the weather that makes you cold, its dressing inappropriately. Didn't take the hint when I was younger as I strolled down the pub with my best toggs on, could have been the middle of winter, but looking good was more important than feeling cold..how things have changed...you should see my winter bedwear now....maybe thats why I need IVF because DP cant get through the towling material to do the dirty deed.

Jkos
Hope your feeling better. Is the treatment in US much different from the UK? do you take different drugs? What do you have to mix?..I'm still a virgin to this so dont know much about any of it.

China

[gailp]

Cla FET is a similar protocol as IVF, you still down reg but then you dont do the stim drugs. Instead I am doing meds to build up the lining of my womb ready for my baby embies Hope to keep them all snug and happy.

China you made me laugh about you what you where to bed, age does certainly change us doesnt it

Hi to everyone else, hope you are enjoying the weekend.

Hope all went well today Nicki.

[jkos]

Hi China,

In answer to your question -- the meds I had to mix are gonal-f and menopur. I really just had to mix them into the same syringe so I am giving myself 2 shots per night (stimms and lupron shots) rather than 3.

I'm not sure if that is different from treatment elsewhere as this is my first IVF cycle. I'm feeling better this morning than I did yesterday. Today, I am going to spend my day relaxing, drinking water and convincing my follies to grow .

On another note, I was following your msgs about who to tell or not. I posted a thread about this a while ago because it's something we struggle with often. We started with very few family members knowing but then when I wound up in the hospital for OHSS in August there was no keeping it a secret. We never went into great detail and DH was good enough to let everyone know we don't want to be bombarded with questions. It bothers me that certain people know because I question whether or not they are sincere but I guess I can't worry about that kind of thing.

Wow -- I guess I rambled on and on

jkos