After I share my news, you are going to think I am positively insane!!!
So please pretty please try and not think lesser of me because I am about to do an 360°!
I had a bit of an epiphany this morning when I woke up: trust your instincts, stop stressing about it and go with the flow.
Well, it turns out that my instincts changed their mind overnight!
I don't think that I am ready for the emotional side of an IUI simply because in my mind, an IUI is a bigger deal than natural conception. I don't want to put my faith in the IUI and be disappointed again because emotionally, it would be harsh. Steph is right, I haven't had time to grieve yet. I want to seize the day but with caution. How can I explain this without sounding nuts? This morning it was very clear to me that I should be grateful that my body is coping with all that it's been hit with and coping very well. It wants to get pregnant. So I am going to respect that and trust it. If it works, well it will be an unexpected and fabulous surprise as it hasn't naturally in over 4 years. If it doesn't, so be it..I haven't lost anything as this was a bonus.
With this in mind, I headed out for my scan and the news is good...
follicle is at 19mm and endometrium has cute lining. My body seems ready....I had another doctor today and he was very kind. He helped me confirm my decision. His recommendation given my history is to try this time naturally as I had been through a lot already. Additionally, IUI has a slim chance of working AND with frozen sperm even less. He suggested I trigger ovulation so that tonight my DH and I could work on our little project 
DH leaves tomorrow at 7am so we have one whole night together to do our magic and hopefully it will last until I ovulate tomorrow or day after.Anyway... be gentle with your thoughts as after re-reading this it does sound like I have taken leave of my senses
Talk about a turn-around! 
Thank you sweet Camilla for your update.... definitely easier to keep track of the Octobuddies like this. I trust you're doing fine and staying positive whilst surviving the 2ww!
Stop with the work and hit those dvds...when I return... I want a full update on your viewings! Lola - You're such a scream!
I completely understand about the stats... I did the same as I was right at the end of the month of October! Hang in there...only one more night to get through. You're so brave...I wish you the best of news....babydust to you!Anna - Vive morning sickness!
... wish we could all experience what you are going through...take care of yourself and the little ones! Jen - How's your needlework? Grow follies, gro!
Steph - thinking about you lots and wondering what you are up to? How many chick flicks and books have been crossed off that list? You take care of yourself. Send me a line if you feel lonely because I am half way across the world feeling the same thing
Stephanie - hang in there.... I have just realised (gosh, I am daft) you have the same test date as Camilla. Talk about buddy buddies! Sending you lots of PMA.
Lots of love to you all,
Little R
. I was liking it staying home and relaxing. But upside is next week is a short week and we have off Thurs and Fri for Thanksgiving. In-laws are coming into town so I will stay busy. Trying to keep up the PMA, but at times it is difficult. But I will end with a positive.
How's the 2ww going? Can you believe its only a week until you test???? So exciting. Hope you're getting a chance to rest??? Put the hoover down, step away from the duster.....