Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

[lolajones]

Just a quick one, its way beyond my new early bedtime.
Leigh - Good luck tomorrow!!!
Stephanie does that mean we're scanning on the same day (30th)?
To my other buddies - hope you're all doing ok!

Lots of Love, Lola
xxxxxxxx

[camilla]

Dear buddies

Sorry I haven't been on for a couple of days but it seems I didn't get a chance on Sunday and yesterday started feeling the effects of a cold.

Leigh and Lola - Hope your scans were reassuring.

Jen - Yeah, I felt bloated and a little uncomfortable for quite a while after ET and still feel a little bloated now. I think that's fairly normal so I wouldn't worry about it. As you know you may well have pre-AF signs and that is OK. I know I had a bit of a wobbly at the beginning of my 2nd week wait and if you are feeling a bit emotional we'll try and help reassure you. The best thing you can do for your embies is try and relax as much as possible and have plenty of early nights.

Stephanie - I don't know anything about hormone levels but I think you have a pretty good chance of twins having your 2 blasties put back. How are you feeling? I'm feeling hungry all the time!

Little R and Steph - I so wish I had a magic wand to give you your babies. But if we stick together I know we can help you get them. I know this group wants nothing else for you two. Don't forget that you did get pregnant so it can happen again and work out.

I'm going to have some more hot water and lemon now, sniff, so will catch up later girls.

Love you all.

Camilla xxx

[Jen1d]

Hi girls,

Just wanted to thank you for your advice, its settled my head a bit. Had a dream last night that my AF came and woke up in a bit of a panic but so far so good and another day has passed without it arriving.

Hope you are all ok. Let me know how the scans went today.

Have a pounding headace so am going to log off but will catch up soon.

Love and hugs

Jen xxx

[leigh]

Hi
Just a quick message to let you know all ok with scan, heartbeat detected. will write more soon.

Take care everyone
xxxxxxxxxxx

[little R]

Hey there my super Octobuddies.....not a great day for me...my fears were founded...AF has reared its ugly head so another opportunity has come and gone....Feel really empty. Feeling physically exhausted.... I guess that AF after IVF is not a fun thing
Haven't lost my sense of humour though! NO, it will not be taken from me

My DH came home this morning and have surprised him by decorating our flat with tons of Xmas lights....it was great to see his face! Well worth the painstaking trouble of trying to get it done alone with only one pair of hands....much patience was necessary (not my forte!)

I have been reading through the happy posts.....

Jen, glad to hear that you are coping with the 2ww...it's a killer Try and relax and enjoy it..... those symptoms can really trick you. I wouldn't put much stock into it all until you have done the test. My mantra keeps coming back...."it's not over until it's over"! We're rooting for you honey (virtual hugs!)

Lola, Leigh, Stephanie....Can't wait to hear more about your scans.

Camilla.... thank you for your kind words....you're the sweetest! Hope you are eating for 2!

My buddy Steph....you're the best. I guess you are having to be patient...once again. Love that we are in this together...as would feel way too lonely without you, friend. We have been blessed with the greatest buddies... who will not abandon us despite their bundles of joy

THANK YOU Octobuddies for your comforting words. It's not always easy coping with all of the BFPs.... so HAPPY for you all as you have done us proud, but there is that sadness of not being one of the lucky ones. It's only natural, I suppose.

THANK you for reiterating time and again that you will be with us for the next cycle. I guess Steph will be there before me. I don't plan on redoing the whole treatment until at least April/May of next year. My body and my mind need a rest. Please can you wait for me? Will you still come online and encourage us within the Octobuddy group?!

Much love to all of you.... off to fix Xmas lights that are currently lying in a heap on the floor.... not my day

Little R

[Jen1d]

Hi my lovely October mates.

Today has been fine and there are no pains or signs of AF rearing its ugly head. One day at a time but so far so good. Can you still have a BFN even if your period doesn't come? I think the answer to that is problably yes but am hoping that the longer it stays away the more chance we have.

Little R - Of course we will be here for you when you try again next year. Us buddies will always be together, (i feel a song from 'Grease' coming on now). You hang in there, your day will come and we will be here to support you all the way.

Lola, Stephanie, Camilla and Leigh - You lucky ladies. Hope you are all feeling ok and happily getting sore boobs and fat bellies haha

Steph - Glad you had a nice rest. Sound like you might have needed to start the yoga after your yummy Thanksgiving dinner. You take care of yourself.

Catch up with you all tomorrow.

So long my lovelies

LoveJen xxx

[camilla]

Hi guys

I normally do this in the morning but since I didn't today, I couldn't let a day go by without saying hello.

Jen - When is your test date? The hardest is the 2nd week of the wait but if you can get out a bit that helps. The day before my test I went out with a friend to do some retail therapy and lunch and it really took my mind off it for a bit.

Little R - Sorry it's not good news this month. Yes, of course we'll be here for you whenever you decide to go again. I know it must be hard hearing about other people's BFPs. I'll try not to talk about it too much.

Leigh - Good news about your scan, well done.

Lola, Steph - hello buddies.

I keep forgetting to say but when I went shopping the other day I bought some Christmas decorations (I always buy a few every year) and I got this beautiful glass angel holding a heart. Well, when she goes on the tree every year I shall think of you. You're all angels. Ahhh.

Lots and lots of love.

Camilla xxx

[camilla]

Oh, sorry Stephanie, I forgot to say hello to you. How could I forget?

Love Camilla xxx

[Jen1d]

Hi Camilla

Test date is 11th Dec. Trying to relax but getting nervous. Keep thinking that it won't work as its only my first time and why should i be so lucky when other have been trying so long. Then the next day i feel that everything has gone along quite smoothly so might get a BFP but am also scared to think like that. The rollercoaster of emotions goes on.

Hope your feeling ok and enjoying this time.

Catch up soon

Love Jen xxx

[little R]

Hey there Octobuddies.... just a quickie...as I must comment on some of the posts! Thank you for saying that you would be there for me. I think that October should go on forever

Jen - dearest...you keep smiling and being positive. Noted down your test date.... I think a lot of people have been lucky with their first IVF cycle, just look at our group of friends. I was...even if it didn't last

Camilla - my sweet friend.... OF COURSE you must share your BFP. That is not at all what I meant...as I have said to some of my pregnant friends... it's not that I am not happy for you, I'm just sad for me You deserve to feel great about your BFP and share it. I am sorry I wasn't clear. Keep those feet up.
Thank you for sharing about your Xmas angel.... I don't have a tree. When we were living in Switzerland we would have a real one every year. Since we have moved here, we have had to change our "traditions"! Anyway...thank you for thinking about us all. Very sweet of you.

Love to all of you...

Little R

[Inhale, Exhale]

Mornin' Sunshines-
well atleast in the states it is! 7:27a on the east coast to be exact.


I am feeling rather blah today. Just plain mentally drained.... I was feeling very positive about the future. I had decided I would adopt if the 2 frozens don't work. I was actually getting excited about thinking of it......... Then I started researching adoption- so overwhelming, so expensive! (Our insurance did not cover my IVF, nor will it cover the FET. Plus, it did not fully cover my surgery for endo or my D&E because I had it done at the fertility clinic. So, we are drained from our savings.) I cannot even believe how many kids need loving homes and yet it costs so much money to adopt one. Plus, after 2 years of the "wait for this wait for that" it just seems so tiring to me to have to go through the adoption process.

I said to my DH last night- all I want to do is love and raise a child. Why is it so complicated?

To tell you the truth, the emotional roller coaster is getting to be too much for me lately... Literally up and hopeful one minute and gutted and hopeless the next.

Little R- my heart literally sank for you. So very sorry. Wish I had some PMA to pass along...... but you understand better than anyone why I don't. Your message was fabulous though. So glad you were able to wrestle the christmas lights and win! I always lose- lack of patience and all. I end up throwing them at DH and telling him to deal with them.

When I read that Little R's AF arrived, I realized in that instant that I am not ready for that disappointment. I want the FET over with so I can move on with life- but I don't think I could go through the FET, knowing it is our last chance, and get a BFN right now. Any thoughts?

Speaking of emotional roller coaster- just typing this out and knowing that you girls empathise and sympathize has made me feel about 100 times better than I did when I sat down at this computer. Thanks for listening

To all the October-oo- whos- You are the best!
Steph

[Jen1d]

Dearest Steph, hang in there lovely. It must seem soooo tough just now but your day will come and you will look back at this time and the struggle will be worth it. We are here for you whenever you need to vent.

Follow your heart and you will get your bundle of joy wether it is through the treatment or adoption, IT WILL HAPPEN.

Big hug is flying over the Atlantic from Scotland to you, from me.

PMA ALL THE WAY.

Love Jen xxx

[lolajones]

Hi
Oh girls I am devastated. Scan on wednesday showed live ectopic pregnancy. Insensitive doctor showed me and dh the foetal heartbeat in fallopian tube - perfect foetus in wrong place. Have just got out of hospital after operation to remove. They took the tube too as ectopic so large. I can't describe how bad I feel. It feels so unfair and I'm so angry. I'm in pain from operation and can't walk upright and just want to cry all day or just sleep so I dont have to think about all the things I'd planned and see my dh's face look so sad. It is too cruel.
The doctors were saying the good news is I can get pregnant I DONT CARE! I want to be pregnant now!!!!!! I was pregnant - why has this happened to me? This has been the worst year of my life, just lurching from one piece of bad news to the next.
I'm sure things will look a bit better in a week but this is so hard.
I'm sorry I have no pma to pass on
love. lola
x

[camilla]

Dear Buddies

Lola - Oh, darling I'm so sorry to hear your news. Your precious baby will be remembered, however short a life he or she had. You and your DH have been through so much, if we can help at all we will. You've been through an awful lot so you and DH take each day at a time. A huge hug and so much love to you.

Steph - I read your message and am trying to find an adequate reply. If you want something badly you generally want it now and it's hard to wait. I think you'll know when you're ready for your FET. You can't go into it thinking you haven't got much of a chance. Your mind has to say 'yes we can do this' and feel happy about it. Maybe after Christmas you'll be feeling a bit more positive. I don't think there's much point in focusing on adoption if FET is the next step. I don't mean to sound like I'm telling you off by the way!

Jen - Have made a note of your test date. Try to concentrate on just relaxing and not 'has it worked'. I watched telly, did mindless tasks like ironing in the second week and ventured out bit by bit. I thought well if it has worked the best conditions for my embie are warm and relaxed ones so I'd better keep warm and relaxed!

Love to all the Octoberbuddies. I think we need a group hug with special attention on Lola.

Camilla xxx

[little R]

Lola,

There are no words to express how sorry I am for you.... I am crying...crying for you, crying for me...crying for the loss and the heartache.

I wish I could give you an enormous hug, but I know that that doesn't make the heartache go away. I am crying for you; I really feel for you.

None of this is fair...none of it. We can all agree. You've gone through so much already.

Lola, let all your emotions out, you need to grief and it's totally okay.....the anger, the frustration, the sorrow is overwhelming, I am sure....

We are all here for you whenever you need us. You and your DH are in my thoughts....constantly. Much love to you both.

Sending you all the PMA I have left.....

Love always,

Little R