The Over 40 Crowd

[lara]

Hi chaps,

Kat, what a blow, but don't let yourself get down, my advice is to use all your powers you possess of mind control to not think about it - it won't do any good, it can't change the outcome and it'll only make you stressed which is very much not a good thing for you! It's hard, but you know, I've had heartbeats and then no live birth (twice), so a heart beat's really not everything, really not a dead certainty at all, and your scan's very very early - so hang on in there - the nurse is right, there's time for baby to grow!

As Anna so bravely states, we're all used to the waiting game.

I'm on 450 gonal F a day - well, why not, I'm not doing it again after this one either, Amfy. I'm absolutely exhausted, shattered I think is the word! Yes, it's hard to keep the bounce going in life when you're going through all this, but you lot do help, knowing you're all battling through it as well.

Take care, all

Lara

[Jeni Babes]

Hi guys

KAT don't worry the same happened to my sister and everything was fine. She was 7 weeks but at 8 wks she saw the heart beat. If the nurse wasn't worried then it's okay Honey...take care x x

lara- good for you on gonal 450...my clinic wouldn't put me past 375. lucky enough after stimming for 13 days i did get 2 eggs. how many days stimmimg are you at? Are your ovaries not really sore? i found it difficult to lie on my side as they were so tender. And took mega time off work just sleeping.Lookafter yourself.

anna- Again sorry to hear your news but GOOD LUCK with the short cyle in Jan ( i have posted in more detail on nov-embies)...About my work, I am lucky to be in a profession where at the moment i can take mega time off work...money IS tight but a BFP is far more important...It's all about prorities as i spent most of my early 30's working all the hours God sent. BFP more important than job.

amfy- Your post is heart rendering...I too felt IVF took all the loving playfullness out of our relationship. Luckily we had a long holiday away and rekindled it. Good luck with the frosties...sending you tons of HOPE FAITH and BABY DUST for 2006 New Year.
on my test date: Saturday 3rd was my original test date, BUT my clinic is not open at the weekend so my date was put back until 5th MOnday. I called the clinic today and they said I CAN do a HPT on SATURDAY but not before....So 3rd dec is my test date. Exactly a month since i started stimming on the short cycle. xx

to everyone else hope your doing okay have a good week...Kat try and rest.

Loving hugs
jen
xxx

[BelB]

Hey guys,
Excuse me barging in on your thread. Just wanted to add to Kat that my specialist won't scan until seven weeks for this very reason. She says that it's quite likely you won't see ANYTHING prior to this, so she doesn't see the point of putting women through the stress. I would be quite reassured by what your clinic has said.
Good luck
Belinda

[Kat]

Thanks for all your kind wishes, I want to think positively but my clinic in Barcelona are not hopeful, I thought they might agree with everyone and say it's too early, don't worry, but they said we should have seen a heartbeat. They say hope for the best but know that it could be possible that there is no heartbeat. I wanted them to say don't worry, this happens all the time but they didn't. Why did the clinic here say don't worry - were they just being nice and didn't want to upset me?
Do I just wait for the inevitable? I don't know how I've got this far through the day and I don't know how I'm going to get through this afternoon or the rest of the week. I have given myself a headache by crying so much last night and it's getting worse as I keep trying to hold it together and not cry or people will wonder what's the matter. I've already been told I am not myself.
Surely life can't be this cruel?
Kat x

[lara]

Dear Kat,

Do look after yourself. I do so know exactly how that utterly bereft state feels, and that crying and crying thing. I had to go out with sunglasses on in the middle of winter, and people were daft enough to make remarks about it - I mean, isn't it bloody obvious why someone's hiding behind shades when it's pitch black outside?! Crumbs, it's really hard.

I feel dreadful today but nothing like as rough as you. I had a scan this morning and things aren't going particularly well, and the nurse who took blood was a bit brusque, and this is my last go, and one thing led to another and I ended up falling apart.

I so don't want another miscarriage that I'm going to get any embryos (if I get any) screened before they go in this time. If I had to go through another of those short term pregnancies I'd end up in the Priory.

Poor you - try if you can at all to send your embie some positive vibes, and to curl up in bed with a hot water bottle and watch a movie. Don't cry alone - wait til your DP gets home before you start weeping. Sending you PMA and all that. Remember, lots of people have said they got no heartbeat at first scan, so cross everything, hope and be good to yourself.

Lara x

[KarenSmiff]

Sorry to be nosey

I just wanted to send Kat my regards. Please try and stay positive. There are loads and loads of people on this website who havent seen heartbeats at the first scan ( I should know, I ve been reading this site for three yrs!!). I know its hard sweetheart, but just try and stay calm, and try and keep busy to make this week fly by.

I am thinking of you.

Good luck everyone xxx


Me 4 dpt - 4th ICSI - final attempt

[Jeni Babes]

Kat
i know your heart is breaking at the moment,( i lost one at 10wks and one at 7wks, ectopics) but it is NOT over for you Honey.
Please keep talking to us, to help cry out all your emotions. We will keep postive for you...sending mega hugs to you and DH...(((HUGS)))

love jen
xxxx

[DebraP]

Kat, so sorry you're being put through the emotional wringer. If the people who do pg scans everyday told you not to worry and come back next week, why not believe them? Why listen to the negative voice?

With my last +ve cycle in April, the clinic scheduled my first scan at 7.5weeks as they think much before that is unlikely to see anything.

I'll be watching for your news next week,
love
Debra.

[JackieT]

kat
i too can only add to all the girls have already told you. we too had no heartbeat atearly scan and my clinic say they dont like to scan early cos of this stress. i know you need to hear al our stories and support, but i also know that nothing is going to make you feel better till next scan, i pray to god you will be o.k and that you will be rejoicing again next week.
you know in your heart that somehow you have GOT to find a way to hold this together, this pregnancy is too precious to let stress take over and remember that our babies pick up on our feelings. i know you can do this kat, and we are all here for you...so smile and rub your tummy and tell that little one all the positive things you can.
take care
love jackie xxx

[AMck]

Hi Kat, just wanted to say hang in there, keep positive. Like the other girls say stress does you no good! ( No...who are they kidding!!)

So keep up that PMA. You've come this far, you can do it!

When is your next scan? We are all rooting for you ,so keep smiling we are here for you

Bye for now, take care
Anna x

[AMck]

Hi ladies....no-one around today?

hope all is OK with everyone.

Kat, thinking of you and sending you a bucket of PMA.

Big hugs to those ladies who had bad news lately

Bye for now

Anna x

[JackieT]

hi all
kat you are quite tonight...
please tell me your fighting this and still feel and know you are pregnant.
give yourself a big hug..and let us know your ok
talk soon love jackie xxx

[Kat]

I know I should be positive and tell myself everything will be OK but I can't do it.
Everyone is telling me not to be stressed and that it could all work out fine but deep down I think I know it's over. Intuition? Who knows. I would SO love to be wrong.
DH tells me not to get stressed but I just cry. Think he's getting a bit fed up with me.
I have a pain on my right hand side (ovary? not sure where it is) which is there most of the time and af type feelings too.
Each morning since my scan when I wipe after weeing instead of just the bright white from the pessaries it has been slightly discoloured, not bleeding but not bright white. Then during the day back to bright white again.
I'm sure my boobs are not as sore as they have been and I have not felt sick at all.
That's why I can't believe it will all be OK.
Kat x

[Kat]

Given myself a severe talking to after writing that message earlier. I think maybe the pains are not af pains but may be my bowels instead as they have now moved towards the side. Bowel discomfort I can cope with, get it a lot anyway. Can't find a diagram anywhere on the internet to show intestines in relation to reproductive organs - you either get one or the other. I want to know where exactly the intestines go around that area (just for peace of mind or am I obsessed I wonder?!)
Trying so hard to think positive (or at least not think negative anyway) and have read an article that I found on the internet somewhere that is quite comforting. Have printed it off and keep looking at it. Have also printed off all your lovely messages and keep looking at them too.
What I want to know is why did they ask me to come for a scan at 7 weeks if everything seems to suggest 8 weeks would be better.
And I am cross with Spain for upsetting me. DH says it was just the way they wrote it that made it sound like they were really not hopeful, it was not the English doctor who replied to my email so that made a difference in the tone that only someone feeling very sensitive would have picked up.
I know he's right.
So I am trying to be positive and talk to my baby and not let it get anymore stressed.
Speak later, sorry for verbal diarrhoea today (bowels again - told you I was obsessed!)
Kat xx

[taylorjools]

Hi Girls

back from Kiev

Kat please be reassured, I know I had M/c but that was nearly 8 weeks and almost certainly due to my undiagnosed immune thyroiditis so I think this should help you..although I don't know how many weeks you are exactly????? I do sympathise pefectly..

we had no heartbeat until 7.5 weeks, I fell apart in the earlier scan as some girls had h/b already from 6 weeks.. each little sweetie takes it's own time, and what's important is that you have a little sweetie in that sac, and not an empty sac. Try and think of this as the whole IVF process, one step at a time, it really helps you to appreciate each little miracle as you make progress each step of the way. I know it's hard, as once you are pg then you just want to relax and get on with it. Think of it another way, my sis didn't get her first scan til 11 weeks or so, natural pg. Imagine if then there had been a major problem and she had gone through all that for nothing? We are lucky in some ways as we get a lot of infor very early, but sometimes it's too much. try and relax and enjoy the little things of being pg, and don't get worried about comparing yourself to others all the time, I am sure you'll be fine.

hope that helps

bigJ