Hopefully next time......Ugly AF arrived

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » Sat Jun 21, 2003 5:21 pm

Well...What can I say.. at least I was pregnant for 9 days!!! AF started to visit me yesterday pm at about 15:00pm... yesterday was also DH's birthday.. so tried to be positive and had a good evening.. when we got home he realised that things weren't all that positive. I am still trying to cling to hope... Has anyone ever had a period and still had a positive result? I tested this morning and it was negative... but apparently I should still test on day 15...AF is actually staying rather than going so I think what I have is a period.. red flesh blood.. never had one so RED in my life before!!! I am so sad, really thought it had worked...I feel myself terribly lucky to have found this site... things would have been more painful without you all... reading the postings makes feel a lot better... I am trying so hard to be positive thinking that most cycles have better results the second time round and things will be easier next time (I had a hysteroscopy and a cyst this time), I will know what to expect with the drugs... not entirely sure when will my next cycle will be.. will call hospital on Monday. Also if I let my body rest for a little and then I could try to get healthier. I keep thinking what I could have done differently.....maybe I wasn't healthy enough.. I do love my takeaways..maybe I should have started taking Folic Acid earlier... anyway.. I will never know what we did wrong.. we had two good embies.. one had divided to 7 cells and the other one to 5.. and they were good quality.. I mustn't torture myself.. I keep telling myself that worse things happen in life. Michelle..I hope with all my heart that things are going well with you..pls keep me posted.. we need all the good news we can get!! Once again thank you so much for your support and your friendship... things would have been a lot worse without you all. Love Ursula xx

julie m · Post by **julie m** » Sat Jun 21, 2003 5:39 pm

Hi Ursula, sorry to hear your news, i know you need time to come to terms with whats happening, are you positive this really is a period ? i dont want to give you false hope but some girls do have a bleed and still test positive on a blood test, they are more sensitive than the home pregnacy tests. I know you feel sad right now, but one positive way of looking at things is at least the eggs could be fertilised by the sperm, nobody knows until they are taken outside of the body. Did you have any embroys frozen? What part of the country are you from ? Love to you both Julie M

fi · Post by fi » Sat Jun 21, 2003 6:32 pm

I am very sorry to hear your news ursula, especially what a day for it to happen. you have to think that you did all you could, wasn't meant to be and just to look forward. guess nature at the end of the day has the last say. hope you are getting through this weekend, love fi

Michelle · Post by **Michelle** » Sat Jun 21, 2003 10:31 pm

Ursula, I am so, so, so sorry to read your posting. This whole rollercoaster can be so cruel and unfair. You are lucky that you and your hubby have such a loving relationship and this will only make it stronger and give you the strength to try again. When my 1st attempt in January didn't go according to plan I thought I would never be able to pick myself up and start the treatment all over again - but here I am! I understand if you don't want to post here for a while but please don't disappear...we're all here for a shoulder to cry on and to help lesten the burden. I'm sending you a HUGE cyber hug. Next time it will be you! Love, Michelle xxxx p.s. Still test on Thursday whatever happens - I've heard of stranger things happening on this site!

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Sun Jun 22, 2003 4:03 pm

sorry that you feel like it hasnt worked! but never say never and I think you should test on Thurdsay anyway. sometimes there is no fault and it is very rare for IVF to work out first time , all I can say is have a few months off get strong again and go for it again, never give up.Thinking of you Trace x

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » Sun Jun 22, 2003 5:30 pm

Dear all... Thank you so much for your support... Yes this weekend has definately been one of the toughest we've ever had....We have been very sad... tears came rolling down when doing the washing up.. how sad can that be?.. anyway.. I must say that I am feeling better now... thinking that I will not give up until I have a positive result - do not care how many times it takes me. DH is also very sad.. I will test on Thursday anyway....positive until the very end...I will call hospital tomorrow morning. Julie.. you are right.. we were lucky that we reached the embryo state.. we did not think we could get that far.. Unfortunately they could not freeze any of the other embryos.. we had 4...2 only divided to 4 and stayed like that and the clinic did not recommend freezing because the did not change overnight.. and I had 2 tranferred. I am Surrey very near Gatwick Airport. Fi..you are also right.. we can't hurry nature, it will come when it's ready... have tried to have a good weekend and pampered myself.. had my hair cut and bought bits and bobs to feel better. Michelle... thank you for your kind words.. please do keep me posted with your news...I am keeping everything crossed for you..I will not be dissapearing at all... you won't be able to get rid of me.. I will want to know how you all are getting on..... and will also keep you updated with my news.. can't wait to start again.. although I am a little scared.. anyway.. once again.. best of luck!!! Traci.. thank you too.... I will do my very best to keep strong...I will never give up... I think that scares DH because he knows that when I want something I don't stop until I get it.. with the help of God and our good wills I am sure that all of us will experience the miracle of birth. All my love Ursula xxx

jackiey · Post by **jackiey** » Sun Jun 22, 2003 7:26 pm

Hi Ursula slightly tipsy while writing this but there again i've probably been tipsy everynight this weekend, i don't know about you but i'm not missing my trips to the loo every 5 mins, i also know what you mean about the tears while doing the washing up, i was making the tea last night and just couldn't stop the tears, i had been quite brave until then, on the whole i have coped with it better than i thought but i think its only because of being able to come onto the site and be able to 'talk' to the people on the site and know that they are there for us. i also feel slightly relieved that we have a couple of weeks worry free and we can get ourselves ready for next time. I'm going now to top up my wine glass Hope you start to feel better soon Love Jackie

Tracey S · Post by **Tracey S** » Mon Jun 23, 2003 9:42 am

Ursula sorry to hear the post - go with the flow and feel down when you need to - take a deep breath and off you go again. I was there 3 times before it worked 4th and khow what it's like. It was nothing you did - Nature has the final say I am afraid! Love Tracey xxxxxxxx

SallyP · Post by **SallyP** » Mon Jun 23, 2003 9:56 am

Ursula and Jackie - so so sorry to hear that you've had shitty news - nothing anyone can say can make you feel better, but as Tracey said, it's nature - it's nothing that you did or didn't do. You feel so devastated after a negative, especially when you've been trying to think positively for the last how many weeks, so take some time to get back to normal, pamper yourselves, get the vile hormone drugs out of your system and have a normal life for a bit without injections scans and hormones. My first IVF was negative and I cried on and off for a week, then scraped the side of my car coming into my drive too fast (couldn't see as was crying at the time), then /i just screamed and had hysterics on the drive for about 5 minutes - then I felt so much calmer and had few fags and a bottle of wine, and didn't get upset again. What I'm trying to say is that you will be feeling so emotional, don't try to be brave and bottle up how you and your dh are feeling - talk to each other and cry when you need to and you will get through this! Thinking of you both and sending love, sally x

Jo Locker · Post by **Jo Locker** » Mon Jun 23, 2003 10:29 am

Hi Ursula. So sorry you had a negative - it's just a gross feeling and there's no way around it. Believe me though, you'll soon be thinking about your next go and looking forward - it't amazing how you bounce back once the drugs have worn off and you have a bit of "normal" time together. Lots of Love - Jo. XX

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