New and need a hug

Leah J · Post by **Leah J** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 3:20 pm

I am new to the site, and I am just really needing some support! I am 28 and my husband is 38. We have been trying to conceive for 2 years now, and we are another unexplained case! They cannot find anything wrong with either of us. We have had a rough 24 hours...my husband's best friend called, they are expecting, my cousin had a baby the same night, and my brother-in-law called the next morning to tell us they were expecting. When will the hurt stop??? We are planning to either start IVF or the adoption process in the next couple of months. What would you recommend??? It is always nice to hear from people going through the same thing. Thanks in advance for your help!

bubblymichelle · Post by **bubblymichelle** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 3:27 pm

Hi There To be honest I would say to have a go at IVF first before you go down the Adoption field. The thing is myself and DH we had been trying for 3 years and I have Endometrious and we spoke about IVF and adoption. We decided we must give IVF a chance before we went forward for adoption. We was one of the lucky one because we had our first attempt at ICSI/IVF and it worked for us, I am now 10wks pregnant. I am hoping you come to a decision soon, and I know how much hurt you must be feeling when people are saying they are pregnant. Please stay positive because one of these days you will have a baby of your own. Love Shell. xx

Anonymous · Post by **Anonymous** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 3:35 pm

Hi Leah, Welcome to the site.. I am also quite new but you won't believe how good it feels to know that one is not alone.. this site has helped me enormously and I am sure it will help you too. The support you get here is invaluable. Adoption or IVF? that is a very personal thing.. in my case I would carry on trying ICSI (a kind of IVF) I have just failed my first cycle but I feel I will carry on...at the moment I am not thinking about adoption because I believe that I will succeed in having a baby with my husband... IVF/ICSI is a long journey but well worth it.. I am positive that I will have a baby one day. In your case.. try and relax..as you do not have a reason for your infertility carry on trying naturally until you decide what route to take... I wish you luck.. I know it's so hard when you see babies everywhere.. news of pregnancies.. etc.. but have faith and be positive. Sending you a big hug, take care and good luck Ursula xx [Edited by Ursula DArvill on 26-Jun-03 16:38]

Tracey S · Post by **Tracey S** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 3:47 pm

Leah it's a toughie all this isn't it! I am a bit of an old timer on the site in more ways than one. I am 37 in July and DH is 6 hours younger (the git!) He has two children from his first marriage of nearly 9 and nearly 5 so that was always a slap when the old IVF etc didn't work. all my friends have kids or babies or are pg and my brother has just had 2 - all the women at work at pg or too young right now - hell! I have blocked tubes - knackered but at least I knew what was wrong after 8 years of trying on and off! I had 4 attempts at treatment 2 IVF and 2 with frozen and my last frozen worked. You are young and I would go for IVF - there is nothing wrong with adoption and it provides a very worthy service to children/babies and couples alike but it is obviously not the same as your own. I personally felt I had to give it my all so I would have no regrets at no trying...... my advice is do the same and good luck Love Tracey xxxxxxxx

jen · Post by **jen** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 4:30 pm

Hi Leah Welcome to the site - it's such a great support and full of info, be warned you will get addicted!!!! I think you'll find most people on this site recommend the IVF road - it's very tough but everyone holds out lots of hope. We're on our 5th go - it also becomes a bit of an addiction, like rolling the dice - your numbers have to come up sooner or later. Adoption is a road that we have thought about taking but decided to try the IVF first. You're spookily like me - ten years between myself and husband and we started ttc when I was 26(I'm 31 now) and we have unexplained infertility. Best of luck with whatever you decide but always know that there is plenty of support here and never give up hope. Love Jen xx

debb · Post by **debb** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 4:57 pm

Hi Leah You will get lots of hugs here! It is a great place! I agree with the others that maybe you should give IVF a go, there are so many success stories here that it will be worth it! Regards the having a rough time always hearing news from others, that is bad for us too. It is truly soul destroying and can make me very depressed and angry. Angry that it is not our turn! It's something I find very hard to deal with. Actually last night we went to my niece's school concert and I was (had no option) talking to someone who is due in a week or two. I surprised myself by asking the right questions and wishing her luck etc! Now that is a turn up! I don't know why I did this, my usual instinct is to avoid, self preservation and all, but I was Ok last night. Given that our cycle was abandoned on Monday that is a miracle. Maybe I just thought that it will be us before too long. Good luck Love Debbie

Leah J · Post by **Leah J** » Thu Jun 26, 2003 5:35 pm

I can already see how much this site and you ladies are going to help me! Thank you so much for your advise! We are going to continue to pray about our situation. Thank you again for your support and understanding!

july ann · Post by **july ann** » Fri Jun 27, 2003 9:53 am

hi leah welcome to the mad house. make sure you ask lots of questions next time you go to your clinic as ivf is only one form of tmt. I'm not a doctor but you might need a helping hand ie iui of super ovulation which is a lot cheaper and not so expensive. my advice is do not leave it to long as it can take a lot of time if you are on a waiting list (nhs)if you have to self fund it can be really expensive and you might need time to save. well what ever you decide we will be all here to talk to. from july ann

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