Oct 05 Cycle Buddies

[leigh]

So sorry it's bad news Angela

Take care

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Inhale, Exhale]

All Shucks Ma'am's...


Walshy- so sorry for the BFN! Have a cry, you deserve it sweetums. I know what you mean about the dissappointment on the DH's handsome face. When I had my ultrasound and they couldn't find the baby, my DH didn't realize what was going on quite as fast as I did. I started crying, he asked why, then reality punched him in the nose. His look was utter sadness, dissappointment, shock. I will never forget it. But, it was reassuring in a way. My Dh isn't great at talking about emotions. It was at this moment I realized he is as invested in this as I am....... They can't always show it, but they love deep and lose deep. If your Dh is anything like mine, he probably hurts more for you than for himself. HUGS to both.

Jen- don't know where to begin for you. The "so close to something so great" feeling is terrible. HUGS to you. But, like you said- positives! We will look forward to doing our 2nd cycles. I am waiting for AF to show, then may do that cycle- if the finances can be arranged for then We will push through together!

To All.....
Christmas was not a very cheery event this year. I was so relieved when it was over. Praise the Lord, Amen sistas! kind of relieved. My house felt WAY too empty this year. So, I rushed DH around to get ready so we could get out of there. - after a good crying jig of course. I went to visit my sister and her kids, watched them open their presents- surprisingly, this made me feel better......... Anywho's, glad it's done. Whew!

In other news......
I have blood work on Wednesday to check if HCG is zero! Fingers crossed please. For those of you with a bit more flexibility, it would be helpful if you could also cross legs, sitting in full lotus and breathe through your anus- sorry Lola, couldn't resist!
If HCG is zero, I am allowed to do FET starting with next period. My DH got a lovely bonus for travelling with his boss, so it looks like we could be ready to go. I really want to do it now because it has been 5 months since last surgery for endo- and "they" say that the first 6 months are your best shot. Plus, the pains are back. Not a good sign. Anyone else in this group an endo sufferer?

While in other parts of the world.......
Lola and Demetrio were snoggin under the mistletoe, when little raft fully deflated when punctured by what looked to be a misplaced ornament but upon closer examination turned out to be a vile of truth serum and tiny spy camera. Demetrio insists it did not belong to him, but was carted away for espionage in very large handcuffs- as the straight jacket did not fit his robust frame....... Will Lola ever see her Demetrio and his banana hammock again?

Namaste
Steph

[Inhale, Exhale]

Hello my little group of feel goods!

I have to say that I resent being abandoned over the holidays! Don't computers work over there from Christmas to New Years? Where are my chicky schmuffins? Tear for sadness and lonelies......

Well, I will tell you my news anyway even though nobody seems to be around to read it. My HCG level is at zero! Hoo- RAH! Mini-celebration! Party in a bottle! Yippee, skippidee, do.

Will have "the talk" with DH tonight. Unfortunately, not "the talk" about how babies are made, but the talk about how much money it takes to make baby and do we have enough of it. If all else fails I will bribe him with sex. That usually takes care of it- you see we have the money, but DH likes to keep a nice cushion in the savings account and we are starting to cut into the cushion. No, not the cushion- the horra!

OK, bubbles, toils and troubles
Have a daisy day!
Steph

[camilla]

Dear Angela

So so sorry to hear your result. I've just been able to get to a computer as we've been away for a few days. But I've been thinking about you.

Have had a quick flash through the recent messages and will honestly try to write something more substantial next time, but might not be till next week.

Love to you all and hoping 2006 is going to be the one.

Camilla xxx

[Jen1d]

Hi lovelies

Angela - Hope your ok, let us know how you are and if you want to shout at someone, we are here. A big hug is on it's way to you.

Steph - Money is too boring, just do the sex bit it's much more fun. Don't worry, our little money nest is getting hit hard too. It would be ok if we knew how much we have to spend but this continual waiting, hoping for a positive then forking out more money when it's negative is a nightmare. Oohhh it's so unfair, most people have a few drinks, enjoy some rumba then hey presto 9 months later. I hope they know how lucky they are. You party about your Zero, it's great.

Camilla, Leigh, Stephanie and Lola - hope you all had a good Chrimbo.

Well just two sleeps until 2006. I'm wishing my life away until Feb so i can start my next cycle, so desperate to have some good news for a change.

I feel a good year coming for us all, hold on in there girls, 2006 is special babe making year for the Buddies

I will be working tomorrow and it's a sleep-over, but you all have a fab New Year as you deserve it.

Love Jen x

[Walshy]

Hi Ladies,

First of all I hope you all had a merry christmas and a fantastic NY. For all of us TTC this is our year. Thanks for all your wishes on my news....

Well I am back from the depressing moment I had last week when I got the results. It is amazing what a few days can do. When I first got the results I was in that state of mind that i didn't want to do it again it's all to hard to keep receiving negatives but now I am ready to have the next lot of frozen ones put back in.

We have decided though to wait until May to have them put back in. I am hoping to lose 20kgs (44 pounds) before the next lot go in. I am thinking that maybe my body is telling me that now is not a good time to have them back in as i am quite heavy and then add on the baby weight when I do fall would just be too much for my body to deal with. I am taking them not sticking as a sign and it's time to do something about it...

I have had some major soul searching with my DH and we have helped each other deal with BFN that we received.

To make ourselves feel better we did some retail therapy went out and brought ourselves a new dishwasher and sofa bed for visitors.

Until next time take care time to go to the gym the tread mill is my new friend.....Cheers, Angela

[Jen1d]

Angela - It's great to hear you are feeling more positive.

I hope to start my next cycle around the end of Feb so am also trying to shift about a stone. Have been reading Zita West's book (thanks to Camilla for recommendation) and have even taken to drinking green tea, although i could murder a coffee. We can keep each other motivated.

Hope you all had a great new year.

Love Jen x

[Jen1d]

WHERE ARE ALL MY FRIENDS?????????????????

Love Jen x

[Inhale, Exhale]

Ahoy Good Ship Lollipops!! It looks like many have abandoned ship and ventured overboard...... Has there been a major internet crash over there or what?

Walshy- glad to see you back after the dreaded BFN. Looks like attitude is comin round- keep up the positives and warm fuzzies. Good luck with the treadmill. I hate treadmills. I used to run, but always outside. Treadmills are way too boring for me, plus way to easy to reach up and push stop. I figure if I run from my house, I have to get back there so I should just keep running. Mind over matter and all that... But, I have given up the ghost and just stick to ashtanga yoga now. Killer workout and amazing relaxation factor!

Jen- We will be cycling very close to each other. I will probably get AF in about 2 weeks, and 18 days after that will be my FET. Are you doing the whole shabang? or FET as well?

I have decided (well, 90% decided) that if FET is unsuccessful I will move to adoption. I need a sure thing. I am tired of this consuming my life. I know the adoption process is also stressful and costly, but I will have a baby at the end- there is definite light at the end of that tunnel!! I have gotten there, ready to move on- now I just have to convince DH. Not quite sure if he is yet? He is a one step at a timer. He is just concentrating on FET for now. I am a planner. I need a plan B in case plan A fails. Otherwise, utter devastation! I need no more of that. I have reached that fill line with the miscarriage.

Anyhow, for now though I will concentrate on FET which will be here very soon! Hoo-RAH! I will let everything else go for now- my new mantra- LET IT GO! Breathe in, Breathe Out.

Lola and Little R- you sadden me in your abandonment. Tear. I wander around aimlessly in cyber space, mumbling your names. I see Demetrio there. He is doing shots of Mad Dog and consoling himself with a large plate of cheesy fries, asking what happened to his little Lolita.....
'Nough said.


Toodles.
Steph

[lolajones]

Be not sad my lovely steph!
Me n Demetrio have been in the Anna Nicole Smith rehab centre - no internet just a whole bunch o madness hampsters n class A no-nos. Demetrio, having slipped the espionage charge, has become my bodyguard. He gets paid in lard and poker chips by the CIA to protect me from Evil Death Rays. Ah Demetrio, you sure look good in dark glasses and a tux. He is a true renaissance man.....
Can't believe steph n jemla are all set for the FET Alley of Frozen "give me one of those" already!! I'm still waiting for my first post pregnancy AF (y'see that? "post pregnancy"? check me out! No tears! Nada!). I have totally surprised myself and am now actually happy with my enforced wait. I feel so much lighter, y'know? Feel so much happier, wierdly. Anyhoo, I prob won't cycle again until Bendy Steph n The Jem are up the duff Then you can both give me all of your attention
Glad you're all positive! Yeyyyyyyy we will do this my friends!!!!
Steph I know what you mean about the adoption thing. Previously I thought it was something I would never consider but now.... I aint ruling anything out. I will be the Angelina Jolie of the UK sans pneumatic lips. And you need a plan B, we all do, for all sorts of things.

Walshy I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you this time. You've got a couple more in the freezer, right? Cycle with me ozzy lady!!!!

Little R - whats your excuse? Dizzy and sofa bound after 10 straight episodes of Desperate Housewives???? Come back!

Henrich Le H update: likes; being rubbed and sleeping, dislikes: meat products, my knickers and work. Me n ole Henrich are going to have a major falling out soon. He done nothing but gripe the whole day. If he's not careful, I'm gonna get him whacked by Fat T. Shhh, even hernias have ears....

To all of the other Octobers now enjoying the company of other forums.... hope all is well and take care of yo bad selves, y'hear?

Mucho amor, mas que puedo explicar!

Lolahhhhhhh
xxxxxxxxx

[Jen1d]

Finally my mates are back. I thought i had been abandoned and you were off following Angelina already.

Steph - Got no frosties so have to go through the whole shabang again. I was on the lowest dose of meds last time and they kept saying the first time is an experiment so they didn't think i would stimulate much and they were being causious, lot of doss for an experiment eh? Anyway my meds will go up and i'm hoping for more eggs this time, fingers crossed.
My AF is due around the start of Feb (its the first time i have wanted it to hurry up and get here), then 21 days later i start sniffing again. Will probably be around the 20th. Can't wait to get started.
Everything is crossed for you, the FET WILL work. PMA
Don't know about the adoption thing. DH isn't so keen but that's because we are still sure we will get one of our own. If this all fails then you never know. BUT it WONT fail, i hope.

Lola - Glad your feeling in tip top condition. Of course we will be here for our mad mate when you start again.

Angela - Hope your feeling a bit stronger. Catch up soon.

Little R - Where are you, what's new?

Lots of PMA. 2006 is the year, See ya

Love Jen xx

[Inhale, Exhale]

Sun Salutations & Hail Mary's!

WHAZ UP!

Well, well, if it ain't Little Miss Thang Lola Bling! Glad to have you back round these parts Ma'am. Was afraid that mad rabid dogs did in fact have there way with you. However, had complete confidence that the Dashing Darling Demetrio would protect his Lola Bean. I like the tux, it gives him an aura of class while the shades add mystery and a touch of bad boy whiles. Is it me or is he looking thinner?

Glad you are feeling lighter these days Lovely. The break is nice once you get used to it- self imposed or not. However, with an FET peeking round the corner, I am back to the stressful land of BiF's! This is where BFN's and BFP's are fighting it out with little swords that look surprising like pee sticks. There are little smiley and crying faces on the sidelines waiting to declare victory. I have decided I am going to go Achilles on their BFN *sses. (If you please, a moment of silence to picture Brad Pitt in his scruffy blond hair and little metal skirt yumminess) Buffy and Arnie, those super human strength embies, are boppin to the sounds of Olivia Newton John's Let Get Physical while practicing their round house kicks.

Jen- You sound ready to take on the world soul sista. We will both do lovely with our upcoming cycles. I know what you mean about wanting AF to come. I am excited yet not. I am pretty sure that this will be it for me- so that makes me a bit apprehensive to get it over with knowing it will be the last chance. But, will be relieved when it is here. Luck to us both! Besides we totally deserve a happy ending!

Smell ya's Later Cheesy's
Steph

[little R]

Hey buddies....have just got back....

I wanted to let you know that I have thought about you all during the holidays.

I haven't had time yet to read your news...Give me some time...but don't assume that I have forgotten you!

Hugs and kisses and HAPPY NEW YEAR....I'm thinking it is OURS!

Love,

Little R

[little R]

Dear Octofriends,

I'm back!
The "holidays" were hectic....not a minute to spare, everybody wanting a piece of DH and I... it was exhausting.

A million apologies for giving you the impression that I had abandoned you.

This is so not true, please don't think that. You were much in my thoughts, especially on Xmas morning when I was dreaming of new beginnings and wishing babies to those who long for them

Given the hectic days we shared with family and friends, the travelling, the lack of intimacy (for me and myself!), and more importantly the absence of a laptop/computer, I couldn't express my thoughts to you.

Know that I carried you all with me and wished us all a happy and successful 2006 at midnight on the 31st.

Oh Angela...argh, life's not fair! I am truly sorry for the BFN. I am relieved to read that you seem to be bouncing back very well though. You go girl!
All the best for May.... maybe we will be cycling together? I love the month of May and am hoping it will bring me luck for my second round!
Great idea the retail therapy...my DH and I actually tried it out...it works wonders until the credit card bill showed up

Hello to the Green-tea drinker.... Jen-o- how's it hanging?
I love green tea and you can get all kinds of flavours. My DH brings heaps back from the Far East. He actually likes it now as before often referred to it as "sock tea"!
I will keep you motivated, sweetie, you can count on me . I actually need to go in the other direction and add a few pounds to my tiny frame...
So you are preparing to cycle in February along with our fab friend, the Stephmeister....I'll be thinking of you getting ready for the whole shabang..Zita West to the rescue!

The fabulous Steph - You crack me up .... can't stop giggling when reading through your posts...
Hey, congratulations on the fabulous HCG level... when you think about all of this, infertility comes with a sense of humour.... there we were not too long ago wishing for that HCG level to go through the roof and then not long after, we were keeping our fingers, toes and other extremities crossed for a rock bottom score....and soon we will be hoping it sky rockets again... No wonder our bodies are half bonkers...we never know what we want
I can totally understand about your Plan B...you're right, you need it.
I am not yet ready for adoption as I want to exhaust all of our options first, but the idea remains in the back of my mind. I am sure that your DH will be open to the idea but as you said, he needs to focus on what you have planned now!
I'll be here if you need me....my calendar is wide open for February . I can't wait to hear all about Arnie and Buffy and their journey to warmer climates.
Oh Steph....repeat after me please "Little R did not abandon me", "Little R did not abandon me"..... I am here to stay..always remember that. You're my buddy in arms, Steph.

Lola girl - you sound very upbeat. Good to hear! NO, I haven't even started watching Desperate Housewives yet....and TV does not, I repeat, does not come before reading about how you are all doing What have you been up to? Very busy it seems? So what have you been viewing lately?

I have missed you all.... so happy to be back.

I am fine although I have my moments.... but nothing compared to yes...wait for it "last year". I LOVE saying that
My little cousin is due this week so will be heading back here for some moral support soon. I know it sounds silly, as the baby is not a surprise but I know I will feel down....

Lots of love, hugs and kisses to you all,

Little R

[Jen1d]

Hi gang

Well had my first little cry last night for a while.

We went out to see friends. She is pregnant (it was an accident and not planned ) Anyway on our way there i was so emotional and felt so jealous, then bad for feeling like this. I have nothing against them as they are great friends and have been so supportive towards us but i couldnt help the tears from appearing. I did control myself before we got to their house and we had a nice evening although i did try to avoid talking to much about babies plus i am so thankful she hardly has a bump for 6 months.
I don't like this little green monster appearing. I have just started out on the ivf journey and already i feel like we are never going to get there. Help girls i am feeling more negitive than every that we might never get our family.
I need a good kick this weekend

I hope you are all ok and know you will give me a good talking too, thats what i need.

Love Jen x