Just to introduce myself.....

[Julie2039]

Hello everyone I just want to introduce myself and share my experiences so far in the hope I can help others and hopefully learn myself.

Me and my hub had been trying to conceive for 12 months when we first approached our Dr. We were devastated to find that hub had a nil sperm count. Neither of us had come across this before and didn't understand why. We were told there was nothing they could do apart from a re-test. We had the re-test and again it came back "nil spermizoids". We came away with no explanation or hope. My poor hub was inconsolible and we had months of mixed emotions.

Primarily my hub felt a failure, a leper and held the fear for a very long time that I would leave him as I have been declared healthy and hopefully able to conceive. Being one of 5 boys who have all fathered children didn't help. Getting it through to him that all his fears were wrong fell on deaf ears for a very long time. My emotions were completely different. I went into robot mode to stay strong for hub and did my grieving in private. Not the way to do it.......

We eventually had another visit to the Dr. which resulting in seeing a fertility expert and Manchester Fertility Services. We were offered a glimmer of hope. As there was no explanation why we were in this position they suggested a PESA and TESA op. We would have to pay privately as NHS don't fund it .

The procedure, for those who don't know, is to retrieve sperm from the sac (PESA) which isn't transferred through ejaculation or from the epididimis or deeper (TESA). Any which were retrieved that were alive would be incubated, frozen and then thawed to find which survive.

Hub was reluctant initially (for many months) purely becuase he couldn't bear putting us through the disappointment again and letting me down.

Months down the line we had resolved that our life was to be that way but something kept niggling away at me because if you don't try you will never know. I too had varied emotions thinking if he wanted it as much I did and he loved me he would do it for me etc etc but it was purely down to gaining emotion and strength.

My hub decided to go for the op. . It cost just under £1,800 and was extremely painful for a number of weeks after but we got the result we wanted!! .

We currently have 6 stems frozen at MFS which are to be transferred to St Marys for NHS ICSI treatment in July.

I would advise anyone in our position to go down this route as it is worth a try and worth every penny. We are not home and dry by a long way but even if the ICSI doesn't work for us, as devastating as it will be, we know we have tried everything we could.

Good luck to anyone going through treatment. Would be grateful if anyone could let me know what reading material they wld recommend as I am completely in the dark.

x

[Macca8]

I believe you did the right thing. My husband had a vasectomy about 14 years ago when he was previously married. He fathered 1 boy and 1 girl from that relationship very easy. He got his ex wife pregnant both times on the first month they tried. Funnily enough I did the same with my ex husband but miscarried at 15 weeks.
When my present husband and I met he knew I really wanted to have kids so he arranged and paid for a reversal operation. It cost a fortune. Anyway the specialist (reversals is all this doctor does) thought it had worked and we naturally were overjoyed with the prospect of having a baby naturally. 3 months later he attended the clinic for sperm tests only to find that the operation didn't work and he had nil sperm. He did 3 samples week after week, same result. He was so distruaght.
Like yourself, I hid my upset from him and tried to remain positive, even though I was breaking up inside. I am from a large family and 6 of my 7 siblings have produced happy healthy children. It does cast a lot of pressure on you. So I can completely understand how he feels.
Anyway, I did 2 lots of ICSI at MFS and gained a pregnancy both times, only to miscarry at 5 and 8 weeks. I am about to embark on my 3rd attempt in 2 weeks time. I have to admit I am not afraid, I'm hopeful.
I want a child so much but at least I can put my hand on heart and say that I gave it everything. You can too.

I wish you the best of luck.
Lisa xx

[Julie2039]

Thank you Lisa - best of luck to you too. Stay positive. I am at a petrified stage at the moment as don't know what to expect but am avidly reading reading reading!!

Julie

[KTF]

Hi Julie,

My situation is similar to that of Lisa, in that my DH has had a failed reversal and we are awaiting his appointment for SSR - should be in March.

The book a lot of people swear by on here is Zita West - Complete guide to fertility (or something like that - not too sure on the title). I have it at home and it has lots of advice in and covers infertility and IVF/ICSI. It has lots of tips on eating healthy, excercise, vitamin supplements etc.

Wish you and Lisa the best of luck with your treatments.

KTx

[souris]

Hi Julie and welcome!

I am really happy that your Dh finally decided to through Mesa, and even more happy that it worked!!
Like many ohter here, my Dh had a vasectomy done during a previous marriage. He is a dad and a grand dad. I have no children.He went through Mesa, we got enough soerm for two cycle. My first cycle did not work and i am now sarting the 2nd in two weeks!!!

As KT said, the Zita West book is great. It explain how IVF /ICSI,the woman cycle etc works... and it is full of advice!

I wish you and Dh the best!
take care
souris
xxx

[Lis]

Hi Julie and welcome!

When I read your email so much of it struck a cord with me and also gave me so much hope! My dh got diagnosed with azoospermia Oct 2005 - he did two sperm tests and it came back with zilcho sperm both times. The only difference is we know why he's azoospermic - he had undescended testicles on both sides not detected or corrected til aged 12. After blood tests for FSH, testosterone and all the chromosome stuff the consultant came back and told us a testicular biopsy (as opposed to TESA or PESA) was our best option, with a 30% chance of finding swimmers. That's in 6 weeks time, the 23rd February. I am absolutely petrified it won't work - I can't even bare to think about it. We have both been devastated by all of this and dh has gone through the whole thing of feeling less of a man and often refers to his "faulty tackle" which breaks my heart. When you said you were offered a glimmer of hope, that's exactly the words we were told after the zero sperm test.

If sperm is found we'll be doing icsi around July too so hopefully we can be cycle buddies.

You might want to join us on the Phoenixes Rising thread on the general forum, its for those who are currently in limbo!

Good luck

Lis xx

[Julie2039]

Lis,

I am glad I decided to post my experiences. I have sat on all this since diagnosis in August 2002. I joined to share experiences and emotions and whilst I am glad I am not alone I am really saddened by some of the postings I have read. One thing I have learned is that there is hope for us all.

I wish you all the luck in the world. We were never given statistics before DH's op and while we tried to keep our feet on the ground and tell ourselves it won't work but hey its worth a go, (in order to avoid disappointment) everything does ride on it.

Glad your DH is going ahead with things and so quickly and hope you get the result you want and deserve. Let me know how it goes.

[Lis]

Hi Julie,

I know exactly what you mean about not getting hopeful. To be honest, dh and me are not hopeful at all about February because the stats are against us. Like you Ifelt, don't want to give myself any hope at all because if it doesn't work I'll feel even worse for having had hope.

I would have waited exactly the same length of time as you but we decided to self fund so that's why everything's going so quick. Sometimes alittle too quick I think!

Keep in touch

Lisaxxx

[Julie2039]

Hi Lis

Also replied on the Gen Board. Positive thinking is apparently the key to success (!). Not sure I agree with that one but I am a born pessimist.

We were fortunate enough to have had a clinic appointment in July 2003 to find out the pros and cons so even though it took my DH 12 months to come round to having the op it didn't affect our waiting list and was good to find we only had 10 months left to wait once we had our fab news.

There is hope for everyone and medical science is amazing. If your DH is making sperm they just have to dig in and get it. My DH's sperm was all dead on retrieval so they removed tissue from his testical, TESA (ouch!) and incubated it overnight and it grew!!

I really don't want to get your hopes up but sure you can understand my faith in this procedure.

Anything you come across of interest speak to your clinician. Our family Dr gave us a brick wall and basically that was that. Took us almost 12 months to try and deal with it before saying it can't be all over so we went round him to another Dr then direct to fertility clinic before we even knew this op was an option.

Sending you lots of positive vibes to you and your DH.

Have a fab weekend

Julie xxx

[Lis]

Hi Julie,

I was really interested in what you said about TESA - my dh is having "testicular biopsy" in Feb. Is that the same as TESA?? They told him they will remove a pea sized area of tissue from one testicle and look for sperm. If there is none, they said they will send a tissue sample off to a lab - the results of that will determine whether he is producing any small amounts of sperm at all. If he is he, can go for the biopsy again. If not, there's nothing more that can be done. They never mentioned incubating it though??

You've got me thinking now... what do you think? Is biopsy different??

Lisa xxx

[Julie2039]

Hi Lisa

I think that TESA is very similar if not the same. Basically DH had nil sperm on 3 tests. We thought he wasn't producing anything. The PESA (where they draw fluid from the sac and epididimis via a needle and test for sperm activity) revealed that he was producing but his body was killing it off and therefore it was lying dead and not "swimming" so they proceeded to do the TESA. (Both procedures were done at the same time).

The TESA is where they remove a "biopsy" of tissue direct from his testicle.

This is off the HFEA website (www.hfea.gov.uk):-

Testicular Sperm Aspiration (TESA): This sperm extraction technique involves the insertion of a needle into the lower region of the testes and the removal of a small piece of testicular tissue.

This is basically removing tissue containing the cells which sperm grow from in the natural body. They take it to the lab and incubate it overnight to see whether any sperm develops and then do a "freeze/thaw" procedure to see if they will survive storage for later use. It did develop and survive so it is frozen. They have 6 straws and although I am not sure how many sperm there are per straw it is more than enough for the ICSI procedure as they really only need one sperm to inject into one egg.

It sounds as if your DH is having a similar procedure. Do you have to pay? We were told this is not available on NHS. Maybe they are offering you an NHS alternative? Ours was just under #1800 if that helps. TESA is approx #1,000 and the PESA #500.

I would certianly ask your clinician about this. We dealt with a Debbie Faulkner at Manchester Fertility Services and the procedure was done by a Dr Payne (nice eh!). Both lovely and they are a private clinic so deal countrywide. You can always ring her and ask her the difference for reassurance.

Thinking about you all the time!!! Let me know how you are getting on xxx

[Lis]

Julie,

I replied to you on general thread (phoenixes). Thanks so much for info - a BIG HELP. Will phone consultant I think

Lisa xxx