hi there, i am new x x

[clairelouise]

hi there guys x x

i am new here so i thought i would introduce myself

my name is clairelouise and i am 24 years old.

i live in bradford west yorkshire with my husband david.

i am a registered staff nurse by trade and i work in the mental health field of nursing care.

i have always been a bit "chunky" and have suffered with acne since i was 11 years old.

my husband and i started trying for a baby in 2002 with no success at all, i was refered to my local hospital, leeds general infirmary for tests and it was discovered i had pcos.

to make things doubly difficult my husband is a wheelchair user with a c5-6 complete fracture of his neck

we started the process of ivf with icsi in october 2004 and suffered complications the whole way, i produced no follicles in the 12 weeks of treatment and the cycle was abandoned in december.

we started another cycle in january 2005 and during this time i had to go to the OT for cyst drainage and then i was over stimulated with the meds and suffered a mild case of OHSS. i produced 40 follicles with 30 eggs and after icsi 15 survived. I had to wait 3 months before they could safely put the embryos back in and on the 12th September 2005 I received a negative pregnancy test result.

I now suffer with extreme anxiety, panic attacks and I have overcome the illness of agoraphobia. I feel this is all a cause of the IVF treatment.

My aim is to recover from the anxiety and start the process all over again with a frozen embryo transfer in spring this year…..fingers crossed x x x

This is a quick over view of my situation x x x

I am a caring and friendly person looking to interact with people in the same position as me.

I am looking forward to getting to know you all better

Love

Clairelouise

[Jeni Babes]

Hi Clare

you have had a time of it ...hugs

with Ivf the stats read 1 out of 4 embies take...so please don't give up.

I see you work in the mental health field...have you not thought about CBT counselling for your anxiety and panic...it's really good and helped me a lot.

Take care

love
jen
xxxx

[Claire T]

Hi Claire Louise
After 10 years of trying to convince doctors there was something wrong we finally got onto IVF. We move every 3 years with husbands work and the doctors I went to see, at the beginning, said I was too young and not to worry about it, or it was the stress of moving house!!.

Anyway, Im also at LGI - (I'm 36, husband 36), egg tranfer was last Thursday (blood test next Tuesday) and I'm absolutely convinced its negative! I really dont feel its worked - I had 7 eggs on a flare cycle but only 2 good ones, 2 others were ok but not good enough for freezing. My left ovary is a bit dodgy - large cyst removed last year which held things up - also found endometriosis (had no idea about that!).

Am planning a holiday before next cycle to have something to look forward to, but I dont think I will have anymore than 3 attempts. Perhaps one egg donation - then at least we can say we tried.

[AMck]

Hi Clairelouise,
Just thought I'd say hi and welcome to the site. Sorry to see your story so far. You have been through a lot!

You may like to try reading books by Zita West on Fertility and conception. I know lots of ladies here have found them useful and informative. you can get them from amazon or any good bookshop.

You may also like to join a thread on the general forum. There is one called rising phoenix's which is for ladies waiting for tmt. Maybe we'll see you there! All the ladies here are great.

Anyway, wishing loads of luck with your tmt.
Bye for now
Anna

[cmg]

Hello Clairelouise and welcome to this strange but very supportive space.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been through such a tough time and that's it's left you so anxious, though I can really understand it. I had very serious, rare complications the first time I did IVF and could have died. It took almost a year for us to face doing it again, particularly for my husband (also called David, funnily enough) as he went through a terrible time when I was ill, thinking I might die, whereas I was just unconscious and didn't know about it. I had some counselling (and so did he) and had dealt with it pretty well but the body remembers and having invasive procedures done again can trigger anxiety. I went a bit loopy after egg collection and convinced myself I had OHSS, which I didn't at all.

The thing that really worked for me was shiatsu massage - never known anything so calming. I'd also echo what Jen said about getting some form of therapeutic help - I haven't had CBT myself, but I've heard good things about it. Also your clinic ought to offer some form of counselling. IVF is a tough enough thing, so get all the support you can.

The other thing I wanted to say to encourage you is that you really have got time on your side. I speak as one who is, whisper it, old enough to be your mother! I'm also planning frozen embryo transfer - it'll be next month. I was going to do it in November but my mother died suddenly and I thought it was more important to give myself the space to recover, so I delayed by 3 months. If I can do that at 44, then at 24 you don't HAVE to pressurise yourself to feel better by a set date. It would be great if you could do FET in the spring but if you're feeling fragile, don't add to your stress levels by thinking that you have to. You could allow yourself a breathing space if you wanted to.

Good luck with it, whenever you start you treatment and be sure that there will always be people here to support you

Caroline

[souris]

Clairlouise,

welcome here! What a story! you have been through so much already!
I really hope your FET in spring time will be a sucess!

I am wishing you the best
take care
souris
xxx

[Macca8]

Claire Louise,

CBT is excellent. I had it last year for 6 weeks after my miscarriage. I too suffered from panic attacks. They are very frightening, aren't they? You can find a therapist on www.bacp.co.uk I don't think the NHS are doing Cognitive Behavioural Therpay yet but you could ask your GP. My GP told me I would have to go private. It was £30 per hour. For a bit of sanity, it was money well spent.

If you need anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask. I know how hard it is and bless you, you really have had it tough. Keep believing in yourself and you will come through this.

xxxxxx

[clairelouise]

hi all x x

thank you for all your lovely replies.

i am currently taking citalopram 20mg (which i have cut down from 50mg this last few weeks) i am on my 6th session of CBT at the moment which seems to be working, fingers crossed. i am paying £75 and hour for my therapy