The Over 40 Crowd

[cmg]

Hi all, haven't had much time to get on here lately, as real life has got in the way. Also I have discovered the amazing time waster that is Google Earth - have you tried it? You download some softer where from Google and then you can whizz round the world and zoom in on satellite photos, in some places right down to the level of individual buildings. For some reason Bath is not shown in enough detail but the little town outside Cardiff where my Mum lived is and I can look at her house and see the garden furniture in the back and I find it quite nice somehow.

Anyway, back in the real world, I'm waiting for AF which should be any day now, then it's all systems go. I'm seeing the acupuncturist this afternoon and on Monday I saw this cranial osteopath who has started getting a reputation for helping women get pregnant (not literally!). He doesn't claim any specific expertise but he said he'd helped a number of women through IVF, all the wrong side of 35 and some over 40. I asked how many had had babies and he said ALL OF THEM!!!! So have booked to see him twice more before ET. His theory is that if things are not in balance in the pelvis then blood and lymph flow are disrupted and tissue relies on good flow to be healthy. Anyway, willing to try anything at this stage so my life is a round of alternative health appointments and not enough time to do work to pay for them. Ho hum!

Bev, thanks for telling me about your mum and the mysterious light. I'm not sure what I believe - I was brought up very Catholic but have abandoned that. However, I can't believe that my Mum isn 't somewhere. I am setting quite a lot of store by the fact that a Feb FET would mean a November baby, which would be a year since she died. It seems like it's meant to be somehow. BTW if I haven't said so already, then I'm so sorry to hear about the problems your Dad is having. He really shouldn't have to deal with all that at his time of life.

Lisa, only a few more days to go. You must be sooo excited and nervous. It all sounds really good so far, so it's fingers crossed all weekend. Take it easy.

Anna, I have no idea about the E2 level but an FSH of 4 makes you just a slip of a girl, so well done!

Randa, hope the stimming is going ok and am excited to see that ET is finally in your sights! Not long now - are we going to be on the 2ww together?

Jeni, good luck for the appointment on Friday. Hope it all goes to plan

JoJo, welcome to the over 40 club. I've never done donor eggs so I don't feel in a position to advise on that. I think it's a really personal decision, but very tough to weigh up. Is there someone at the clinic you could talk to?

And Big J- hope that sickness eases soon. Keep on keeping us up to date, we need those stories from "the other side" to keep us going. Everything crossed for you.

Sorry if I've missed anyone but gotta go.

love Caroline

[erjumper]

Jojo,
Welcome to the over 40's! I am presently 3 days post transfer of 2-6 day pre-hatched egg donor embryos. Personally, the physical characteristics thing was not a concern to me. It's really a very personal thing but like others have said, even biological children can look totally different than their parents. My mom and dad are both dark haired with dark eyes and so is my sister. I was as blonde as could be with fair skin and light eyes. My sister used to tell me I was adopted which I completely believed. I am also VERY different in personality than my family. I personally would opt for the proven donor. Best of luck in deciding and I hope all goes well and has a better outcome this time.
To everyone else,
We're at the airport awaiting boarding for our loooong and boring flight back home. The suspense is killing me and the urge to pee on a stick is overwhelming. My ovaries are throbbing again like they have each time i've had a BFP before but I won't relax until I deliver a healthy baby.....or 2!
Lisa

[randa2006]

Bev - what great advice you gave JoJo on the donor egg selection issue. Geeze, you could start an advice column as level headed as you are. When I read her note last night, I whimped out and told myself, someone else will know what to say.... looks like I was right.

Caroline - I hope we are on the 2ww together! Mine will begin roughly Feb 4. Do you know ours yet?

Lisa - thanks for the update. Have a safe flight home with those little embies.

BigJ - sorry you are so sick, Sweetie. But, to be honest, I can only pitty you so much. (I'm just giving you a hard time because... YOU'RE PREGNANT!!!) Honest, I think I could watch you throw up and still grin as I held back your hair. he he

Update on me:
5-day scan today went well. 4 follies on both sides (8 total). Tech said there were some smaller ones in addition, but didn't count them. Out of the 8, 4 were even in size and measurable (9s and a 10). This is a good sign that they are all close in size. That says they are maturing as a group rather than one being way out ahead of the rest. Bloods came back that we should keep protocol the same, another good sign. I'm happy and thankful!

Today is a pamper day (as it turns out). Had a facial and later I'm going for a full-body massage!!! Remember, I said this year was "MY" year. Since I haven't had a year that I put myself first since I was 21, I figured I was due. So far so good. Dh is even encouraging me.

Good vibes to everyone else!
Randa

[jojopaisley]

Hi everyone,
Thanks Caroline and Lisa for responding to my post.

I am actually waiting to speak with my fertility doctor about the 2 donors.
I did talk to my OBGYN and he agrees to it isn't about similarities but about having a baby. That is pretty much where I am at. I Just want a healthy baby, or 2 or 3. I won't be picky. I wil let you guys know what happens after I talk to my Fertility doctor and schedule my IVF.

Sorry so short I am actually working late tonight at home.
I will post again tomorrow.
Wish you all well and good thoughts!
Jo
(JoJo)

[Kat]

Hi all, hi to Jo - I replied on your intro when you first came on the boards - I really do know how you feel having had similar happen to me - it does get better believe me, I am now ready to try again after everything that has happened. Re the donor - I never had a choice so it was a slightly different situation. I have obsessed on occasions about whether a child would look like me or not (especially as my Mum is always pointing out resemblances in my nieces to any obscure family member she can come up with) but I have reconciled it in my head that we have no idea what a mix of me and DH would look like. I am sure the doctor will give good advice

Randa - glad to see scan went well and you have some good sizes follies

Lisa - hope you're stil feeling positive - not long now!!

Caroline - Google Earth is brilliant! I have spent hours on there! My sister's apartment block in Singapore is really clear but my house & my parents house are not as clear. Have you looked at New York or Paris? Both very very clear and you can see people walking round Statue of Liberty...

Anna - I will be doing a few touristy things but have done a lot of them already although not with both sisters so will make it a different experience. My parents are out there at the moment and enjoying the warmth

Hi to everyone else
Time to to some work now....

Lots of love
Kat xx

[surreyjane]

Hi Everyone, just back from Spain, Loads of pages to catch up on, Lisa you must be so excited, cant wait for the results and wishing you all the luck in the world, with who is it happy and sleepy!!!!

Kat, I forgot to say, yes it was IM we went to, we saw Victoria, she was very nice and we will probably just go for it, when are you going to Singapore? have a great time, that will set you up nicely to come back and start again, we just got back from holiday, we went away for Ryans due date, and we came back in a much more positive frame of mind, and laughter with you sisters will be the best therapy. Enjoy.

Jo Jo, the advise you have been given re donor eggs is spot on and it is such a personal decision but I am with the girls, although characteristics would be nice, to fulfill our dreams of having a family will be the best, I also think that the decisions we have to make are tough but we make them in the end, what ever they are, good luck on that journey.

Bev, I happen to think your mum was saying hi to your dad, but Trini was being a pickle and kept copying her through the night, saying wake up mum!!!! I havent had anything like that but still lit a candle for Ryan whilst in Spain.

eek, just saw the time, what am I thinking of, sorry everyone else, was going to go on but better get ready for work (yuk!!)
Take care everyone
love Jane x

[taylorjools]

Hi girls

a quick pop, glad to see you are all on the case, and Lisa mega baby dust your way ready for test day, looking forward to you joining us on the other side

Just to add my 2 pennies worth on the donor choice, when we went to IM we had no choice, but they gave me an Aneg donor (I am A+) apparently proven she gave 12 eggs but only 7 were mature, 3 embies. I found out afterwards she was 1.65m (I am 1.78) and had blue eyes (mine are brown.) In the end it doesn't matter but I was upset as this didn't resemble me atall. at ISIDA also no choice, but this time an A+ donor so perfect immune match at that level at least, and much more care with physical characteristics, we were notified before the proccedure about the donor so could have refused her if we wanted, although having had a m/c last time I didn't care any more, was much more interested that she is proven, has a son and has regularly produced 8-10 EMBRYOS and BFP,s and live births from her eggs. We waited a bit lonegr for tthis donor, 5 weeks, but it was worth it (so far ). Now I just think of the baby as mone and dh's the donor eggs side is not in my mind atall. I am glad though we live away from all parents and family as we wont get the comparison stuff.

Scan went well, sweetie was whizzing around, I cried my eyes out, I never thought I'd get this far, ever. Now really terrified as start reducing meds as of next scan 12 weeks on top of that I have slipped a disk in my neck and it's agony. I survived 2 days and have had to give in and take paracetamol as I couldn't eat or sleep it was so bad. Having physio daily, just praying it will sort itself out soon

big hugs to all and really good luck with your cycles, back to bed now...

Love bigJ

[Kat]

Hi
Jane - glad it went well with IM & Victoria is lovely isn't she? Did you meet the lovely Dr Olivares? Going to Singapore 13th Feb, only for a week as my sister has to be back for work, but will be a nice break in the warmth.

Hi Jools - glad to see everything is going absolutely fine. Will you ask the sex or have they told you? I don't know at what stage they can see the bits & pieces. Sorry to hear you are in pain.

IM had 2 donors on the go for me and said they and only tell you the characteristics at ET so you don't get your heart set on one and then they end up using the other. I am lucky in a way I suppose because I am dark hair dark eyes 5ft 6 and rounded (ie chubby) and DH is 6ft 3 and thin, blue eyes and light brown hair that used to be blond, so a child could be any combination of those features and still resemble one of us, so maybe that makes it easier.

Hi to everyone else
Lots of love
Kat xx

PS Jools - I am A+ too - obviously means we are brilliant!

[lara]

Hi everyone!

I've been away and can't keep up with everything that's going on with you all!

Bev, I didn't get the pm with the email address. I'll pm you mine. Glad your dad's got a break while she's away - but I know how worrying it is when a parent becomes like a child again, because they're elderly, so I hope you find a way to convince him to steer clear of her, and that he has absolutely no responsiblity to her whatsoever, married or not. Tell him, he wouldn't want you to stay with a husband who hit you, would he?

Lisa fab news! well done, very well done! I'm very excited for you so far.

Jules, you are doing so famously well, I'm very impressed.

Randa - wow, what a great follicle collection! Good luck with EC.

Anna, I don't think you should worry about ovarian reserve. You know, I read in the paper today about a test that costs £179 which measures your ovarian reserve - but what's the point for us? We'd do the IVF/IUI or whatever anyway, even if the reserve turned out to be poor. At 40 you've got around 10,000 eggs left, so at 42 you MUST have a FEW left!! It's prob your cysts doing it, honey.

I went to a spa for a few days, did yoga, country walks, gym, massages, blah blah. It was quite hard work, actually, since I find not getting on with my work quite disturbing! But I'm very luck and I'm grateful to have had the chance, and I'm definitely not so stressed about all my deadlines. I recommend it.

I also recommend drinking mineral water, not tap water. My sister met an eminent Swiss scientist on the plan back from Phoenix, who told her that our daughters (should we be luck enough to have any!) won't need contraception because of all the hormones in the tap water. Oh, and it's full of antibiotics as well. I've always heard this, but thought, oh well, what can you do? But now I'm on the evian - apparently evian is the best water you can drink! You can tell I'm desperate, can't you!

Kat, how are you doing, not sure where you're at?

Caroline, Anna, it's possible I'll cycle with you!

Lara xxx

[robyn]

hi everyone
I am still here reading your posts and trying to keep PMA. I have nothing to do but wait and continue to drive myself crazy with home ovulation tests. I won't give up whatever it takes.

Lisa, I am really excited for you and would love to hear some very good news soon!

Randa good job making those follies. I hope i can follow at my next cycle in March.

Anyone else planning a march cycle or ET??

Sending lots of baby dust!
Hi to everyone else i didn;t mention.

Robyn

[erjumper]

Jools,
Great news on your scan. Another 6 or so weeks and they can tell the sex. Are you just dying to know?
Randa,
Your scan is awesome as well. Grow follies grow!
And Caroline,
You've got me addicted to Google Earth. I really needed the distraction during this awful 2ww. I'm finding that the addresses I enter in the US don't zoom in very well. Only show about a 20 block radius. Can't make out any of the buildings. Can some of you just enter your cities and countries of like where your clinics are. Many of you seem to go to the same place and i'd like to get some perspective on where it is and what it looks like there. Would love to "fly in".

[meandmine]

Hi ladies,

I hope you don't mind me posting but as I spent some time last year in your company I felt compelled to check the site to see what's happening - dropped Randa a note on another thread recently - all I can say girl is WAY TO GO next week. Will keep checking to mark your progress.

Caroline (CMG) just saw your post this evening - as I haven't been on the site for a while not sure if you have posted previously but I wish you all the luck in the world for Feb. Hope life is becoming a little easier for you as each day passes. It's comforting to think that the person we lost and loved so much can be somewhere close by watching and looking over us. That's our faith - it can't always be explained but it's a good feeling to have. Hold on to it.

Anyway ladies, I'm still keeping a check on the 'fertile' period (ha ha) - well, you never know. I think it's part of my being now each month - I was even particular that we took the 'window of opportunity' around the 14th day this month (if you know what I mean)

Love and hugs to you all
Sharon x

[BevT]

Hi girls,

Things a bit quiet here today.

Hi Meandmine, nice to meet you.

I too always have half an eye on the "window of opportunity" just in case. Mind you, can't always summon up enthusiasm on demand so to speak!! At least with IVF you can avoid all that "messy" bit. Tee hee - better not let DH see this as he'll be mortified.

Randa, your follies are doing really well. Keep up the good work - willing them to keep growing.

Lara, have tried to pm you with my e-mail, but not sure if it's getting through. Thanks for your comments re Dad, he has gone home now to an empty flat and seems ok in himself. However, my sister took him to see his wife last Monday (nearly 3 hours in the car) and she spent the whole 2 hours ridiculing, blaming and accusing him. She also said she didn't want to go back to him. We thought "goodee" but the next two days she was very consilatory on the phone and wanted to forgive and forget, which Dad says he has to, as there is no alternative. We think that her daughter got onto her after Dad and my sister left, and threatened her to behave and to go back to him or they would put her in a home. If she does go back, it won't be long before she's at it again, I'm sure. You're right though, if it was me being abused by my husband, he'd be telling me to walk - straight away!! There should have been a meeting yesterday with social services, but this has now been put off til Monday. We shall see what happens then.

Big J, (Jules) have tried to pm you to talk about your experience at IM and ISIDA, but not sure if it has worked! Would love to talk to you if you're feeling up to it. Are you still feelling ick pick? Hope your neck is easing up now.

Jane, are you going ahead with the donor programme with IM in Spain? What time frame have they give you. Incidentally, since Dad went back to his flat 8 days ago, we haven't had my light come on at all so I do think it must have been mum, although it would be nice to think it was Trini also, my sister (who is v.spiritual) says that it's hard work for spirits to turn on lights, so I wonder if my little Trini would not be strong enough to do it. She only wieghed 4lbs 7 oz although I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it!

Kat, wishing you happy hols in Singapore.

Hi to all the other girls and wishing you all a happy weekend.

LOL Bev xxx

[randa2006]

Bev,
For the record, I believe it was your Mum with the light. As humans, we are not equipped to fully understand these things (spirit world stuff), but God knows what's going on and something in my heart says he allows those who have gone on to communicate with us on these levels.
It's all good. (an American expression for don't sweat it)
Randa

[Kat]

Hi
Just a really quick one before I go home from work - Bev you asked Jane about the timeframe at IM in Barcelona - for me it was v quick - first appt 1st Sept, ET 25th October - I was well impressed !

Sharon - lovely to hear from you

Lisa - have you looked at New York? - it's really clear. Where the clinic is in Barcelona is quite clear too but my home (SW London) I can' t zoom in very far. Grid ref is N51:22:02, W0:17:14 if anyone fancies taking a look at a London suburb... rows and rows of houses and an industrial estate - mmmm! (although I do look out on a small field - my little bit of countryside)

I have just looked out of the window and it is trying to snow - that'll make for an interesting drive home ....

Speak later
Kat xx