The Over 40 Crowd

[Jeni Babes]

Hi to all
Just a quick update. saw my consultant for a review of my BFN in Dec...they are willing to fund me again for another cycle in MAY. GOOD NEWS...WOOO-HOO. The hosp would have done it APRIL but DF and i are going on hols and want to enjoy that before we try again.

Lisa not long to test date now...**BABY DUST*** BABY DUST**

randa hope the follies are continue to grow, grow, GROW...

Kat hope oyou managed to drive home okay in the snow flurries...LOL

Anna are you back yet?

caroline the google earth is amazing

bev...LOL

catch ya all soon... have a good weekend

love jen
xxxx

updating list
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 praying every day,scan 24/01 (11 weeks)
Randa - Start stims Sat 21st Jan, EC Feb 1st
Anna - Waiting for AF to start short protocol
Kat - Going to Spain 2nd March for testicular biopsy & then hope to start DE tmt again soon
Jen - Next IVF in May...
Lisa - ET 23rd jan, test 30th Jan
Lara - planning IVF in Feb/March
Tammy- IVF cycle 2 Feb 06
Caroline - natural FET in February (prob around 10th - current best guess)
Robyn - 2nd IVF cycle in March
Bev- waiting for egg donor, considering abroad
Amfy - FET March/April
Jane- visit to Spain 24th Jan to decide next step

[AMck]

Hi girls, just got back from a fab conference! Lots of good speakers, loads of lovely food and a chance to catch up with people I haven't seen for ages. I feel refreshed !!!!

Have read through all the posts with great interest especially advice on egg donors. Like Randa said this site is a mine of information.

Lisa, hope flight was oK and you are back resting up, looking after those embies.
Randa, good to see you are looking after yourself and spoiling yourself rotten. Long may it continue. Great news about your follies. Well done!
Welcome JoJo, good to meet you
Jane, how did it go in Spain?
BigJ, great news on your scan. Sorry to see about your neck. Hope it rights itself soon and you are out of pain.
Kat, is your sister a teacher? Your holiday coincides with half term.
Hi to Lara, I too heard about the ovarian reserve test. Do you think it is a ploy to get women of a certain age to part with their money?Do you think they would be reliable? Maybe it could put your mind at rest? Or maybe help to make a decision regarding going ahead with own eggs or organising a donor? I don't know!!!! Glad you had fun at the spa. What are your dates? It would be good to cycle together.
Robyn, sending you a bucket of PMA!
Hi to Sharon, good luck, you go girl!
Bev, read your posts in awe of your strength. You have so much going on in your life yet you remain so positive. Hope the meeting with soc serv goes well on Monday.
Jen hi and well done on your news. It's great that the funding has been organised. Not long til May. Praying all goes well for you!!!

Have a great weekend all, PMA to everyone
Anna x

[erjumper]

Hi everyone,
5 days post transfer of 2 prehatched 6 day blasts and the UPT's are still negative. I know there is still a glimmer of hope but the light is fading fast. I've always been positive by now...not that any of them lived past 9 weeks....I'm feeling so panicked that our best and last hope was just another waste of time, energy, emotion and not to mention money. I feel so emotionally beaten and in the midst of wallowing in my self pity I have this tremendous sense of guilt for not being happy with what i've got. I'm a Critical Care RN and take care of people every day who are literally fighting for their lives with sometimes terminal diseases or tragid car accidents....and I am completely healthy. I watched a 5 yr old little girl walk to her dad's bedside today (he's in an irreversible coma after being hit by a car....whose driver did NOT even stop) and ask him when he's going to wake up. I just wanted to sit and cry with her. I hope I can someday feel past this hole I have in my heart that only a baby can fill. We've gotten a puppy or a kitten for every miscarriage and negative i've had. We have our own kennel now! Things just seem so out of perspective.
Sorry, enough doom and gloom for today.
Randa,
Hope your follies are growing.
More later,
Lisa

[teachertam]

Hello All !

Sorry that I have not posted lately. I've been trying to catch up on everyone's news.

Lisa: I'm sorry to hear that your tests have been negative. Don't give up. My good friend, Tracy - 41 yr, had a negative EPT. She stopped taking her progesterone suppositories, but did not start her period. One week later she tested and it was positive. She is due May 22nd with her first child. I know how you feel about feeling guilty. I feel like I have a good life also, but there is something missing. I really want a child. My husband has a 13 year old son from his 1st marriage, but that is not the same, since he has a mother.

We have been contemplating international adoption in China. There is a lot of paperwork to be completed though I may just have my SIS (Saline Infusion Sonography) test in February and wait for my March cycle before I do another IVF. I need some time off to clear my head. I don't want to rush things. We mentioned the idea of international adoption to my family and they were excited. My mother-in-law was not so excited.

Randa: Good luck on you follies !

Jeni: That is great news! How does it work in Scotland? Unfortunately, here in Indiana, most insurance companies do not cover IVF. My last one cost US$11,000!

It is good to hear that some of you have been relaxing! I think I need a massage and/or a day at a spa.

Take care all !
Tammy

[BevT]

Hi girls,

Randa, glad you think it's my mum with the light, me too. Can't explain it any other way!

Kat, did you get home ok from work in the "blizzards"? It's v.frosty here in Lincolnshire this morning, but blue sky without cloud, so should make for a nice day. Thanks for feedback re IM. Just need to pin down DH a bit more, but we did have a great evening out last Saturday, and talked and talked over dinner. He guessed, as usual (he always seems to second guess me), that I was considering donor eggs abroad, he said although he had been wondering where and when we were going to draw the line, he would support me in whatever I wanted to do. I told him that I wasn't ready to "draw the line" just yet. Bless him, I do love him. We just need to talk through the IM v ISIDA. IM close down over summer, and ISIDA seem to be cheaper. However, I think flights to Barcelona are cheaper and there is more availability. AAARRGGH, can't decide. The other problem is that he has allowed his passport to expire, so if we want to act quickly (half-term hols from work start on 11 Feb) he'll need to organise another on the hurry-up! I NEED to pin him down this weekend.

Jeni Babes, so pleased for you that they are willing to fund you again for another cycle. I never had the opportunity because of the age thing. It must take out a huge amount of anxiety, not having to worry about your finances diminishing. For us older gals, we have to rely on the piggy banks, which in our case is far from bottomless. You go get 'em, you deserve it!

Anna, I read about the ovarian reserve test also. I immediately thought I must rush out and buy one. Not cheap though, and I'm pretty sure my eggs a few in number now, and the ones that are there are sooooo old, that they say they will be poor quality anyway.

Lisa, hang in there honey, remember - it aint over till the fat lady sings. Praying for you, and a BFP. What wonderful work you do, and yes, it would reduce me to tears to see a 5 yr old trying to wake up her darling daddy in a coma! Life always tells me that no matter how bad you think things are for you, there is always someone else somewhere who is worse off. Keep your chin up sweetie, we're ALL rooting for you.

Tammy, great advice you gave Lisa - she mustn't give up hope just yet! You take time to get your head round your next lot of treatment, don't rush into things. It's good that you and DH have looked at the international adoption. It just seems such a minefield to me with all the hoops you have to jump through so it's something that I haven't considered yet. My sister said (at the time we lost our darling Trini) why don't you adopt a chinese baby? As if you can just go to the corner shop and order one eh? Good luck with whatever you decide.

OKAY, now I MUST go and get showered. I've been sitting at the laptop with a cup of tea and in my dressing-gown. Waynetter comes to mind. Sorry, propably only the girls from the UK will relate to that!

Speak soon,

LOL Bev xxx

[Kat]

Hi - the snow turned out to be a tiny bit of wet stuff so not probs there. Lovely sunny day here too today although freezing cold

I heard about that test for ovarian reserve as well - they said on the radio it would tell women if they would be able to conceive - this made me cross because they were being very misleading saying that

Jeni - nice to see you have funding - I was lucky to get a couple of funded cycles and it does make it easier

Anna - the sister I am travelling with is not a teacher so it's just a coincidence on timings but the one we are going to visit is and so is her hubby although they have different half terms in Singapore for Chinese New Year & other festivals

Lisa - hang in there, you know it's not over yet - assume have you got to go for a blood test to confirm?

Bev - Waynetta Slob? Nice image - are you 'avin' a fag?! Tee hee!

Hi to everyone else too
Lots of love
Kat xx

[lara]

Hi everyone,

Bev I got your email and I've emailed you. Gosh, you've got a lot going on to deal with - you're very stoical, well done.

Jeni, great news about another funded 'go'. Like a lot of over 40s I never had a funded cycle due to age, but it you can get it it's something to grab with both hands!

Lisa, good luck, fingers and toes are crossed for you. Don't give up hope, I got a shiver down my spine reading your worried message - I know those feeling so very well, and it's such a difficult process. All I can say is, there was no way I thought I was pg last time, I didn't even bother to test, and just went off on holiday. I soon realised I was pg while I was away - and I never actually did a test! Of course it all came to nothing in the end - dead at the 12 week scan - but that's not the point for you, because you just don't know, you just can't tell until after your due date.

Yeah, that ovarian test is no use to us, but it might be useful for someone who's 34 or 35 and wants to know whether their egg reserve is decreasing at a very fast rate, or something. It can only tell you if your egg reserve is 'normal' for you age - I mean, if I'd been in that position at that age I would have just gone ahead and got on with ttc, so perhaps it's a waste of time!

Hi to Anna, Caroline, Tammy and all.

I need to decide whether I feel up to a cycle, my last ever (due to money) in Feb. The pressure is almost too much to bear. On Feb 14 I'll be 44. The likelihood of it working isn't much better than trying to win the lottery. I feel sick with anxiety just at the thoughtof it. What we put ourselves through. At least while I put it off, I don't have to face the hard cold reality of the outcome. The thought of it being over and having to face that is just appalling. So I'm sticking my head back in the sand and hoping I can hide away...

Take care all,

Lara x

Kat, your trip sounds fantastic! Wouldn't mind one of those myself!

[randa2006]

Lisa,
Please try to keep your chin up. Just think of it this way, this one is different than the rest and that could very well be a GOOD thing. Anyway, it's in God's hands now, Sweetie. Your part is done. Please try to relax.

Not great news for me today at day-8 scan.
My 8 follies are now down to 3 growing and 3 small-maybe-not-growing.
Anyway, two more days in the oven will tell us what we've got to work with. I'm not down. I too have decided it's in God's hands now and what will be will be.

Baby dust to all!
Randa

[BevT]

Hi Randa,

Sorry to hear that things have fallen back a bit, but as you say, see what the next 2 days bring. Because I haven't "known" you very long, you probably have explained this before, but could you explain to me why in the past you have had frosties frozen but not attempted ET. I can understand why you would freeze spare embies, but not why there was no fresh transfer done at the time. I'm sure there is a reason for this that I haven't heard of before.

Take care all

LOL Bev xxx

[Jeni Babes]

Hi ladies...

Lisa and Randa please keep the hope alive ( as you say it is in Gods hands so have FAITH)..Randa i only had 2 follies out of the 5 that were the correst size and from them i had 2 eggs both of which fertilised so you never know...i will say a prayer for you both.

tammy whats an SIS (Saline Infusion Sonography) test? Is that to check your tubes out?

Kat- have fun away on hols...when is you go?

...thanks everyone for all your support it does take the stress away having an NHS funded cycle (Tammy it's funding from the British Health serivce). I received it because i had a) 2 operations from 2 differant ectopics and therefore lost my tubes... b) Df and i have no kids from ours or other relationships...c) I am under 40 years old. Anyway i will catch you all at the end of the week I am going on a course for work Monday night until late thursday..take care everyone I HOPE there is some good news from you both Randa and Lisa...Hugs

BIG hugs everyone else...

love jen
xxxxx

[AMck]

Hi girls, hope weekend has been good for all.
updating list
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 praying every day,scan 24/01 (11 weeks)
Randa - hoping follies grow, EC Feb 1st
Anna - Waiting for AF to start short protocol
Kat - Going to Spain 2nd March for testicular biopsy & then hope to start DE tmt again soon
Jen - Next IVF in May...
Lisa - ET 23rd jan, test 30th Jan
Lara - planning IVF in Feb/March
Tammy- IVF cycle 2 Feb 06
Caroline - natural FET in February (prob around 10th - current best guess)
Robyn - 2nd IVF cycle in March
Bev- waiting for egg donor, considering abroad
Amfy - FET March/April
Jane- visit to Spain 24th Jan to decide next step

Randa, good luck with next scan. You sound positive, keep up the PMA.
Lisa , sending some PMA. Please hang in there. Fingers crossed for you.
Jen, have a good week, see you Friday!
Hi to Kat, Bev, Lara and Tammy, hope all is well with you

Bye for now
Anna x

[cmg]

Hi everyone, not had much chance to get on here lately - things really move on fast don't they?

Lisa, I really feel for you, it's just awful waiting and sometimes it feels like it would be easier if it was just over. But it's not over yet and there is still hope so hang on in there til tomorrow. Keeping everything crossed for you.

Sharon, lovely to hear from you and thanks for your PM when my Mum died. It meant a lot to me. I sent you a reply but it's still sitting in my outbox, which means you can't have got it for some reason (I don't get this system at all, but I understand that when you send a PM it sits in your outbox until the other person reads it). I'm doing ok though I still have days when I forget she's gone and think "Oh I must tell Mum that... oh, no I can't". It's horrible. I hope you're moving on with your child-free life and making the most of your "windows of opportunity"!

Lara, I completely understand how you feel about doing your last ever cycle - this FET is our last ever and so much hangs on it that it's really quite terrifying to contemplate. But if you know you are going to do it sometime, then what are you gaining by delaying? What would be different in March or April that would make it easier? If there's something you're going to do in the meantime - some major health kick, some diagnostic test which will help them tweak the treatment - then perhaps it's worth waiting. Or if you've got some huge thing coming up that would get in the way or add to your stress levels. Otherwise, you'll just be another month or two older and you'll still have to face exactly the same feelings. So I'd say, go for it. BTW I bet the postman thinks you're really popular when you get all your birthday cards on Valentine's day!

I am really scared of the 2ww this time. I've only been through it once before and the last few days ("Am I bleeding or just spotting?") were hell. I'm afraid of the anxiety and of my dreams of motherhood being finally over. The thing that has really surprised me lately, though, is that I've realised I'm also scared of it working. I don't like the idea of the 2ww being extended out for months while I worry about ectopics and miscarriages. I don't want to be that physically and emotionally vulnerable. I don't want to be financially insecure (I'm freelance and if I get pregnant I'd probably just stop for a while). I hate the idea of things being so out of my control. I'm scared of my life being turned upside down.

I still want a baby, but I'm also petrified of the whole thing. DH has admitted that he is quite ambivalent and really would prefer if we didn't do it. He says we've been trying now for 4.5 years and we're in a different place now from where we were then and maybe we should re-evaluate. He knows he won't talk me out of it and I've said he's got a 95% chance of not being a Dad, so if by some miracle we do get pregnant then he can adjust to the idea then. My friend who gets pregnant at the drop of a hat (or perhaps knicker) says many blokes are ambivalent at first but find they love fatherhood once they get into it. They just don't have to agonise over "shall we, shan't we" like we do.
Anyway, I think I'm rambling. AF has been and gone, so I'll start ovulation testing around Friday. I still reckon ET will be about the end of the following week (9/10th) so Randa, you'll be about a week ahead of me. I think it's just a case of strapping myself in and getting back on the roller coaster.

Hi to everyone else. Glad to see google Earth is gaining popularity - have you tried the top of Everest?

love Caroline

ps Jeni, aside from the fact that we are such a warm and fabulous bunch of wise old birds, what is a young whippersnapper of 38 doing here?!!! Well done on your funding, BTW - we can only look on in envy!

[erjumper]

Randa,Sorry to hear some of your follies gave up the good fight but maybe the once that are taking over are the healthy ones. As i've said before, i've always had alot of eggs but none of them are any good. I'll be waiting to hear about your retrieval and fertilization.
Jen-Glad to hear of your funding.
As for me, my ovaries are throbbing in pain. This has happened with every positive i've had. Also have heartburn last 2 days but i've been stress eating like a pig so...that's probably that. My HPT's are still negative. I just can't stand it anymore. Blood draw in the am......please please please.......

Lisa

[cmg]

oh Lisa, you poor thing. There are some good signs (the same symptoms as when it's been positive before) and some bad (the HPTs) and the not knowing is awful. I hope you can get some sleep tonight. It's not much longer to wait now. Will be thinking of you

Caroline

[teachertam]

Hello All:

Lisa: Don't give up, you could be pregnant.

Randa: I only had 3 eggs collected and all 3 fertilized with 2 making it to the 5 day blast stage. You really just need one good egg. My friend, Tracy, had one mature follicle and got pregnant.

Jeni: The SIS test is where they fill your uterine cavity with a saline solution and perform a vaginal ultrasound. The test is performed to look for polyps. I asked for this test, since I want to make sure that the embies have a place in implant.

Hope things are ok with everyone.

Regards,
Tammy