The Over 40 Crowd

lara · Post by **lara** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 1:47 pm

hiya,

Thanks for your feedback, Caroline and Bev. I really identify with what you were saying, Caroline, about the fear of miscarriage/ectopic/foetal problems. When you've had miscarriages like us and heard about Downs babies (my friend's baby was Downs) you know you can't just relax once you get past your first scan - that's just the first hurdle. It's like a horror ride at the fairground, but a lot more expensive! As for your DP's ambivalence, if it were me I wouldn't worry about that - or about the freelance work - if you do get pg and you do have a baby all that stuff will fall into place as you go along - just as your friend said.

Good luck, Lisa and Randa.

Lara xx

Kat · Post by **Kat** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:40 pm

Hi
Caroline - I too know what you mean re fear of it working and not working - so much more to worry about. I tell myself having much younger eggs from a donor will remove a lot of the problems associated with age - maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about being in this position in the first place.

I am trying not to think of this next go as our last but realistically I think it will be, cost-wise, and also I think I am getting too tired emotionally and physically. Having said that, I won't know how I feel until I get there. DH thinks I am putting myself through too much stress. He is probably right but agrees we're not ready to give up yet.

Randa - hope you're doing OK and it's true - you only need one

Lisa - hope the morning brings you a positive result - keeping everything crossed

Hi to everyone else too - I am being naughty and going on here at work - must stop doing it....
Lots of love
Kat xx

cmg · Post by **cmg** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 6:37 pm

Just a quickie to ask - Lisa, any news yet? I know you're quite a few hours behind us. Really hoping it's good news. Sending you lots of love and stuff

Caroline

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:37 pm

just sedning extra big hugs to Lisa, lisa we have 4 doggies all rescued after _ve attempts.

my heart is with you dear, and Randa and your follies

bigJ

BevT · Post by **BevT** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 8:45 pm

Only time to wish Lisa lots of love and hugs. Hope it's good news. You too Randa.

LOL Bev xxx

BevT · Post by **BevT** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 10:19 pm

Hi girls,

Back now with a bit more time, so thought I'd pop in with an up-date. Had the meeting for my Dad and his wife today with the social workers. Unfortunately for us, Dad has decided to give it another go looking after his wife, although he has said he can only do it if she remains "calm". We think her daughters have warned her that if she doesn't behave, they can't have her so she will end up in a care home. So, we will just have to pray that the threat of that is enough for her to give him an easier time. Not holding my breath though as I think she won't manage it.

Anyway, enough of that - this isn't a "social care for the elderly forum". Back to other things. Has anyone heard of the refund scheme they operate from IM? From what I understand, you contract to pay 30,000 Euros, which gives you up to 3 fresh donor cycles and all the frosties inbetween, and if you are successful with a pregnancy beyond 12 weeks, that's fine but if you are unsuccessful with all the cycles you get 75% of your fee back. So I guess it's a risk you take if you are successful first go, but a risk the clinic take if you don't succeed at all. It's just such a lot of money to contemplate, but if you don't succeed, then at least you don't feel you've parted with 30,000 for nothing at the end of it!

What does anyone else think? Not quite sure whether to explore it more or not. It would be a real bummer if you were successful first go. OK, it would be worth it at almost any cost to have a longed for baby, but then you'd be thinking, oh if only we'd gone for one cycle at a time, we could have saved ourselves 20,000 euros!

Kat, my DH says he thinks we're putting ourselves through too much stress also. But I can't imagine life without a family. I think I would just crumple up into a heap and never get up again, if I were to give up!

Lisa, talking about not being able to relax after the first scan, just the first hurdle, speaking to friends and my sisters, they say even when they're born safely, you never stop worrying about them - even when they are adults, married and with families themselves. Scary prospect I know, but the joy of all that goes with it has to be worth it!

I remember when I was pg with Trini, I lay in bed one morning and thought "Oh my lord, in another 2 months or so, I'll have a little person in a cot beside me, squeeking away, wanting attention, how will I cope". I was a little frightened about that too. Nervous I suppose. I think it's only natural, but I did blame myself for thinking such a thing, at the time we lost her.

Caroline, don't worry about your DH being ambivalent I think it's a man-thing. My DH was exactly the same - until he held our darling Trini in his arms. Apparently it does affect a lot of men that way. BTW, don't you just HATE roller coasters, I much prefer the waltzers - always have.

Love to all the other girls out there.

LOL Bev xxx

erjumper · Post by **erjumper** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 10:57 pm

Well, today was the day. First HCG and it was 5. Most labs consider 4 and under negative so TECHNICALLY it's positive, but at day 14 (8 days post 6 day blast transfer) it's a really lousy number. Soooo, we wait. For the inevitable I think.
Randa? How are those follies? I lost track....Do you shoot your trigger tomorrow?

Lisa

AMck · Post by **AMck** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 11:06 pm

Hi to all
BigJ (Jules) - BFP 9/12/05 praying every day,scan 24/01 (11 weeks)
Randa - hoping follies grow, EC Feb 1st
Anna - Waiting for AF to start short protocol
Kat - Going to Spain 2nd March for testicular biopsy & then hope to start DE tmt again soon
Jen - Next IVF in May...
Lisa - ET 23rd jan, test 30th Jan, in waiting

Lara - planning IVF in Feb/March
Tammy- IVF cycle 2 Feb 06
Caroline - natural FET in February,ovulation test Fri 3rd Feb
Robyn - 2nd IVF cycle in March
Bev- waiting for egg donor, considering abroad
Amfy - FET March/April
Jane- visit to Spain 24th Jan to decide next step

Lisa, hang in there. It ain't over yet! Thinking of you, hoping and praying for you!

Randa hope those follies are Ok

Tammy, when do you start tmt?

Bye for now
Anna x

teachertam · Post by **teachertam** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 2:15 am

Hello All:

Anna: I should be getting AF tomorrow. DH and I have decided to sit out this cycle and just have the Saline Infusion Sonography to check for polyps. I was getting so stressed thinking about the IVF and the possible international adoption. Based on the results, we will decide whether to proceed with IVF #2 next cycle (March). If there are polyps, I will have to have surgery before proceeding. I'm looking for a sign

Lisa: We are thinking of you.

Randa: Hoping your follies are hanging in there.

Bev: I have seen guaranteed plans like that in the states, where you get money back if you are unsuccessful. Unfortunately for me, the age limit is 37 and I'm 41

. I hope things turn out better for your father this time.

Well, it is time for me to retire for the evening. It is only 9:15 pm, but i'm tired. It must be the Monday thing.

Take care All !
Tammy

BevT · Post by **BevT** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 4:19 pm

Hi Everyone,

Lisa, thinking about you and praying that your 5 is good enough!

Randa, how's it going?

Well everyone, I've done it, booked an appointment at IM, Barcelona for 16 Feb for initial consultation. I spoke to DH and he said he would prefer to go to Spain rather than Kiev. It's more expensive, but I think easier to get to than Kiev, with cheaper flights and more availability. So on that note, I thought I would ask Kat, Jane and BigJ where they stayed whilst there. Any hotels etc that you could recommend that are close by. Not quite sure how far from the centre IM is situated. Any guidance would be appreciated. I spoke to Frederique Villalon at IM today, she seemed v.nice. Anyone had any dealings with her (she is French apparently).

Jane, did you go to your first appt with all the tests done? Mine are all now over 6 months old, so will have to do them all again. Groan. However, I think as a "foreigner" we might be able to get them done in between the first appt. and the treatment. Otherwise, we won't have time to get the results before 16 Feb, and if they do them at IM, it's going to add to the already escalating costs. Ho hum, it's only money. Shame it doesn't grow on trees but.

Thanks Tammy for your good wishes for my Dad. Interesting that they put an age limit on the guaranteed plans in the US - is that because you were looking for treatment with your own eggs? Hope you don't end up having to have surgery before your next tmt! Let's hope your SIS goes well.

Lots of love to everyone else.

LOL Bev xxx

AMck · Post by **AMck** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 7:45 pm

Randa, just popping to to say good luck for tomorrow. Hope those follies have grown and you have a successful EC

PMA to all other lovely ladies, hope all is well
Anna x

cmg · Post by **cmg** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 10:18 pm

Just a quickie - Lisa, I'm so sorry that the result isn't more conclusive but right now it's a positive. Really hoping that things pick up from here and you get taken by surprise by your next blood test.

And Randa, good luck for tomorrow.

night all

Caroline

erjumper · Post by **erjumper** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 11:31 pm

I'm PREGNANT!!
After 2 days of constant heartburn and 3 days of throbbing ovaries just like I had with all my other positives.....I broke down and got another Dollar Tree HPT and it's positive. They are supposed to be sensitive to 25 so it looks like my number is growing!!
Randa,
Good luck with your retrieval...will be waiting to hear how it goes.
What a roller coaster!
Hopefully I won't lose this baby since it's from young eggs.

Lisa

BevT · Post by **BevT** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 11:40 pm

Lisa, Lisa, that is such fantastic news. You quite rightly sound thrilled to bits. We will be praying for you every day to keep hold of your "precious cargo".
Bless you, DH and your little "sweetie".

LOL Bev xxx

teachertam · Post by **teachertam** » Wed Feb 01, 2006 1:33 am

Hello All:

Lisa: Wonderful news!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are all pulling for you.

Randa: Our fingers are crossed for you tomorrow!

Bev: You are correct, since I'm trying with my own eggs, the guarantee plans do not apply to me. If I did go the donor route, they should apply.
I keep going back and forth on the IVF #2. I hope the SIS tells us something and I can make up my mind. I think DH will go along with whatever I decide. Since he has a biological child of his own, he is ok with adopting, if I decide that I do not want to do another IVF. Hopefully, you will not have to have all of the tests redone.

I hope everyone else is doing well.

Take care!!!!!!!
Tammy

The Over 40 Crowd

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