cycle buddies - Jo, Caz and Sharon

caz · Post by **caz** » Wed Jul 02, 2003 7:07 pm

HI gals Hear hear Jo!! Just read yer posts and Sorry Lorraine - but I'm not positive today and I'm not hiding it well I'm afriad. Let it all out thats what I say Went to work - cried in the loo twice and had to walk out to call my mum (And cry ) once. Really low and v -ve today - and SO SO feel like I'm getting my period. Grumbling af pain in tummy and sore boobs and v teary just like before af. Not helped by one of the girls in my team of 4, telling me yesterday that shes 9 weeks pg (thru IVF as it happens). Am guenuinely delighted for her ESPECIALLY as I feel shes one of us (she was told she had NO chance), but ahhhhhhhhhhhh?! Actually just rememebred I've told you about this before havent i? God I'm a mess - hope I'm better tomorrow Will you tell me girls - who DO you cope if it doesnt go well, and I'm SO SO impressed that you've come back for more?! Really dont know what to do about dh not being here for the pg test - think I have to beg him tonight to try and rearrange his trip . Problem is I'm pretty sure he would have already done that if it were possible The worst is we have to go to a family wedding on the 12th. Can you IMAGINE?! ON important matters - Sharron - isnt fake tan THE BEST!! ps - I'm trying postive affirmations, a nice girl on the pg board said she reckoned they worked for her!! Judging by my state today Not REALLY sure I've really cracked it tho! PPS Can anyone tell me - the progesterone pessaries- are htey meant to have any side effects?? Thanks!! Big love

TJ · Post by TJ » Wed Jul 02, 2003 7:32 pm

Hi Caz, sorry to hear your not feeling too good today, in reading your postings lately you have sounded so positive and you gave some good advice.... try and relax, I know it isnt easy and you do get fed up with people saying it but it is good advice. Maybe if you are not feeling too good in the morning, take a sickie or two, have a lie in, take in the piece and quiet, read a book and chill, or go for a reflex. Ive just read that progesterone pessaries side effects are wind (I do remember that one), diarrhoea and soreness in your rectum??????... Take Care TJ x Fingers crossed for the 11th xx

caz · Post by **caz** » Wed Jul 02, 2003 8:28 pm

mmmmm special!! Well I guess I should be thanking my lucky stars I havent got THOSE side effects yet. But HEY, give it time!! Thanks for being so sweet. I know we are all going trhu the same - I just feel a bit all over the place. I guess you all know what I mean! GOD I must be a nightmare to live / work/ be with at the moment! TJ - I wasnt sure is this your first time...whats yer story - sorry am probably being crap at remembering? Take care Cazx

caz · Post by **caz** » Wed Jul 02, 2003 8:28 pm

mmmmm special!! Well I guess I should be thanking my lucky stars I havent got THOSE side effects yet. But HEY, give it time!! Thanks for being so sweet. I know we are all going trhu the same - I just feel a bit all over the place. I guess you all know what I mean! GOD I must be a nightmare to live / work/ be with at the moment! TJ - I wasnt sure is this your first time...whats yer story - sorry am probably being crap at remembering? Take care Cazx

caz · Post by **caz** » Wed Jul 02, 2003 8:29 pm

By the way, Lorraine - did I EVER say how grateful I was that you set up this chat!!? Thanks , its been a life saver

Jo Locker · Post by **Jo Locker** » Thu Jul 03, 2003 9:24 am

Hey girls - we're all feeling it a bit now aren't we, which is totally normal. Caz, it's awful when you have to work or see regularly a pg person - I sit right next to one here at work. This girl was pg about 8 weeks ago, unfortunately she lost the baby (well, she was only 2 weeks pg) and now she's pg again - I just can't believe it! Just over a year ago my closest friend at work told me she was pg but had a termination as it was a mistake and she was only 20 and didnt want a baby,etc. That was even harder to be honest. With regard to the cyclogest I think it's terrible stuff. I am convinced that last time it caused me real depression when I stopped taking it. I felt absolutely terrible - I know that the IVF had failed but somehow it was a feeling really from deep inside me that made me feel sad to my core - I didnt think at the time that i'd ever feel any different - which thankfully is not true at all. One of the side effects of accidentally taking too much cyclogest (how you do that by accident is beyond me!!) is "euphoria" so it's understandable that when you come off them, there is a real comedown. *********************************** ANYWAY enough of our down moods, they wont do us any good at all. Let's all promise that we will try to have better days today and log on tomorrow with all the positive feelings we can muster... deal?? Let me know how you're all doing today - lots of love, Jo. xx

caz · Post by **caz** » Thu Jul 03, 2003 5:12 pm

HI there JO - thanks for your sweet msg. Feel better today - at least I did until I spotted the story in the MAil about abnormalities with ICSI babies!! Anyway spoke to the clinic and read the BBCs version of the same story and looks like the Mail are slightly exaggerating things (surprise!!). So feel a bit more collected now Am definately a bit on edge tho. My works mates have been taking the piss out of me...yesterday I started putting all my stuff on my desk into a cardboard box (no reason) ...my boss asked if I was ok and what was I doing and was I planning on going somewhere with all my stuff? ........., I just shouted back, " I'm just bloody tyding up , if thats OK?!" WHAT A NUTTER!! Generally very emotional, cyting v easily, boobs sorry, fat tummy and TOALLY PREOCCUPIED. Basically very premenstrual. I'm putting it down to the cyclogest. Hows things with you - by the way "taking too much cylogest" How funny is that?!!

caz · Post by **caz** » Thu Jul 03, 2003 5:13 pm

Oi! Sharon , Lorraine where are you by the way?!!

sharoninsomerset · Post by **sharoninsomerset** » Fri Jul 04, 2003 6:59 am

Morning Girls, Well not a great deal of news from me. Back at work, not too bad yesterday, although it was a very long day and wish I was sat in the sun instead. I'm still feeling fine, but I starting to get edgy cause I know that next week it I get AF pains then they really are AF pains. It's going to be hard from Tuesday onwards for me. Jo - liked that bit about overdosing on cylogest!!! Could do with some euphoria but not that desperate!! Caz - funny story about you packing your desk up - perhaps you were "nesting"! I know how you get though with being so preoccupied with it, you just don't want to deal with anything else and work really does get in the way. But if you set your mind to it then it can be a welcome relief sometimes, time goes by quicker if you have something else to think about. Lorraine - hope you are well and positive and resting (jealous!!) Speak to you all soon Love Sharon

Jo Locker · Post by **Jo Locker** » Fri Jul 04, 2003 7:58 am

Morning team, hanging on in there? Good!! Still have AF pains and am fighting with myself to IGNORE them and think they're not associated with actual AF. Got to go to a birthday lunch today from work (the pregnant one!) which will be gross I'm sure but I'll keep smiling as usual. I just so wish that it was this time next week. Like you Caz, I feel very pre-menstrual - sore boobs (when you take your bra off at night -ouch!!), big fat stomach (mmm, very attractive I always think), could actually burst into tears at the moment but won't. Just 7 days to go everybody - let's keep each other sane. Think I might do the cardboard box thing with my desk today - it must be therapy of a kind. Lots of Love - Jo. XXX

Lorraine · Post by **Lorraine** » Fri Jul 04, 2003 1:12 pm

Oh Dear I have been so silly - I was sooooo terrified that my negative posts would affect the thread that figured I should drop out.......I didn't want to drag you guys down - from the outside you seemed to be doing such a really great job.....but I missed you too much and so popped back in to catch up only to find .....I'm normal.........we are all in the same place - just at different times!!!! God how daft am I - Don't answer that! Thank you for the messages - and for the permission to post my real feelings even if it is negative - although if truth be know I don't actually really feel negative I just feel scared. I neither think it's gonna work or fail, unlike most of you I don't have sore boobs, sore tummy anymore and I am not even trying to analyse that - I just feel numb one minute and then tearful the next - but always terrified. Caz - know what you mean about going mad - I made a chilli last night for dinner, and when DH got home instead of putting on rice - peeled some potatoes and made mash!!!! NO IDEA WHY!!! DH ate it anyway - I should think he was probably scared to do otherwise - I could hardly swallow it - A) cos it was gross and B) cos I had a lump in my throat the size of an apple thinking "that's it I've lost it and know he knows it too" What a mess! Sharon - How is work. You sound so together - have you got any advice for me. I so hate feeling this way - I am always the sensible, organised, together person the one who controls everything - I think that's why I hate this process so much - I can't control anything. I don't suppose you've got a magic formula...have you?? Jo - Was your husband able to do anything about his trip, Have you made some alternative plan? Just imagine how great that hug is gonna feel when he gets home (no matter what the result). The family wedding is an extra pressure - we have a family get together that weekend too as it's my neices birthday, I don't have any idea what to do - but at least my family know and will make allowances no matter what I deciede - you really are in a much more difficult situation - what will you do? Hope you are all ok - been thinking about you loads. God Bless Lorraine xxxxxxxx

Jo Locker · Post by **Jo Locker** » Fri Jul 04, 2003 1:52 pm

Hey Lorraine - chilli and mashed potato sounds much nicer anyway - let's be honest - rice is a bit boring!! Probably your husband preferred the mash !! I'm sure we're all feeling EXACTLY the same - there's no emotion you'll be feeling on your own, don't worry. Work I think is the best thing for me - I THINK so but I'm not 100% sure. If there's a next time I might take a week off. Oh I dont know - I don't really think it matters WHAT you do - if its going to work it'll work and that's that!! It's after all the fickleness of Mother Nature that means we have to do this in the first place!! It's poor Caz who's DH might not be here for the 11th - my husband should be present & correct and hovering somewhere outside the bathroom door!! Caz - any luck with DH re-arranging?? I don't think if I was you I'd be able to wait for one more day!! let us know.x Just had a weird experience you don't have every day - went to a local chinese restaurant for lunch for someones birthday. A pigeon came into the restaurant and was flying around and people were screaming and being really annoying - I like pigeons personally and so I just got up and picked up the pigeon and opened a window and put it outside. People were amazed for some reason and I'm the office hero - just for picking up a pigeon - still, takes all sorts I suppose. Let me know how you're all going on this afternoon if you can. Lots of Love and positive, positive vibes - Jo. XXX

sharoninsomerset · Post by **sharoninsomerset** » Fri Jul 04, 2003 3:38 pm

Lorraine, Good you are back and keep posting. My philosophy for keeping it together? Well counting my luck stars!! Came back to work on Thursday to find that one of the girls here (only 28) has just been given 3 weeks to live - riddled with cancer! What can you possibly do with just 3 weeks? I didn't know her very well as I'm newish, but still makes you count your blessings a bit.... well for a few days until AF pains kick in!! Sorry, just realised it's Friday and should be a bit jolly with the news, but can't get it out of my head. Anyway, everyone have a fantastic weekend. Love Sharon xxx

caz · Post by **caz** » Fri Jul 04, 2003 4:52 pm

Errr, wow sharon, you REALLY know how to get the party started dont you!!! Seriously tho that is horrific - cant imagine what she must be going trhu and you're right it DOES put things in perspective. HAve been trying to do that alot today. Kind of saying, IF we dont have kids it DOESNT make the rest of my life rubbish, have got SO SO many good things in my life that I wouldnt change for anything. Look look SEE how together I am!! Have been VERY Slightly better today...havent cried ONCE!! But think I might soon as have now go rash of VERY pre menstrual spots on chin, which I always get before af. Am now almost totally resigned for it not to work. Just cant BELIEVE I could ever be pg. Know what I mean?? Went to gym this afternoon and did a bit of exercise which actually made me feel a bit more normal. So good to hear from you again Lorraine - I cant believe you thought you were too -ve to join out chat - nutter! DH sadly cant be here on Friday - so have decided to let them take my blood anyway that day, and then go to my parents (got to go there for this family wedding on the saturday). DH will be back first thing Saturday and I'll call the clinic then. That is of course all complete rubbish....like , yeah , I'll really be able to wait an extra 24 hours! I think I'll be doing it solo, altho will have my lovely parents there to console me if I need it. And it will mean I 'll be slightly more collected when I do see my dh on the Saturday I guess. Ahhh dunno!! To be honest I feel like I'm not even gonna get that far at the moment Good night lined up girls?? Few Pints, few ciggies, a curry perhaps??

caz · Post by **caz** » Fri Jul 04, 2003 4:54 pm

ps Jo - forgot to take by projesterone this morning, so have been advised to take one now and one later....will let you know if I start feeling euphoric!!

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