Feb/Mar 08 Cycle Buddies

[IrishHope]

Runnerkate - hysterical about the knocking "mamaba-gelias"!!! good sign AF is on its way...
oh the Catholics...trust me I am a 14 year Catholic school veteran etc. I would simply say "this is a decision you and your husband feel is best FOR YOU and that everyone is different and entitled to their own beliefs but this is the choice you have made and you'd appreciate her support"...
or what you'll do w/ your leftover embryos - uhm how about "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it"...

or if I were you and she is going to be judgmental I'd tell her very little...the last thing you need is to be judged or answer questions that you have already answered to yourself and your husband...nobody else deserves or requires an answer! Protect yourself...this is hard enough!

[RunnerKate]

This whole infertility thing is going to be a great lesson for me in "setting boundaries."

Good advice, IrishHope. I honestly try not to think about moving to sperm donors, adopting, etc. I hope IVF/ICSI will work. My response to her was that I really want the experience of pregnancy. I've talked to hubby about having my BIL donate sperm (I love him like a brother and have known him since I was a teenager...longer than my hubby...and he's a lot like my hubby: smart, an engineer, brown hair, hazel eyes, tall, not very athletic, medium build, wonderful). But, hubby thinks it would be better to have someone that we don't know.

[itsgottawork]

Hi Everyone,
I am in a mood and when I read of what people say to women going through IVF I get so irritated. I can't believe how insensitive people are. I like the response of saying "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it" in regards to the leftover embryos. What a nice problem to have. I just wish I had extra embryos. I think I would completely flip out if someone asked me what I would do with extra embryos. May I'd say something with "right now I am just focusing on getting one to stick!"
The thing that gets me is the same people that say these things don't understand why one would be so upset after a failed cycle. We were pretty devastated right before Christmas when we found out about the chemical pregancy. Throughout the cycle my MIL kept telling us she was so excited and praying for us, etc. When DH told her the results, her first response was "I'm having a really bad day too." I know people get stressed with the holidays but come on. The she told him it might not work until the 3rd or 4th try. As if she is an expert?!? It just made me furious in an already bad time.
Needless to say, when I hear these things that people say it makes me go further into my shell and we haven't told anyone yet about the second cycle.
I am really scared that it might not happen this time. My husband has been sick since Saturday. He has the flu and has at a temperature all week. Right now it is almost 102. I am leaving work early to take him to the doctor. I am so worried about him getting better and I am also worried that he won't be able to freeze sperm as the doctor wanted. He was supposed to freeze twice before our ER in case he didn't have a good sample on the day itself. Now, with the flu, I am not sure he will be able to give any samples.
And, to be selfish, I am worried too that I will get the flu too. If I get it I want it to come soon as I am supposed to start Lupron next weekend. I am afraid any illness will delay me and half of my department at work is sick. I can't go anywhere without being around the flu. I just wish I could get it now if I am going to get it at all. Ugh!
Anyway, I just needed to vent. I am sure I will get in a better place after we go to the doctor's and hopefully get some good news of when my husband can hope to feel better. As some of you have said, we must stay positive.

IrishHope - Congrats on the insurance working for you! That is definitely a relief.

Good luck to all!

[IrishHope]

I think the people who say things that are insensitive have not been touched by infertility anywhere in their lives so they just cannot comprehend it...it's frustrating b/c I think if we had some major illness they would show more compassion/reserve/support...we almost get "double screwed"...I try and steer clear of those types...

we are not telling either set of parents...it would just add more stress and disappointment for them as well and they are not young as my DH and I are the youngest kids so I try and protect them...only my sisters know as far as family.

Itsgottawork - sorry your husband is sick w/ the flu...I know a few people w/ it so it's going around for sure...hopefully he rests up and kicks it soon!

runnerkate - boundaries are GREAT! I never knew how to set them really and went thru a rough time while planning our wedding with my sister in law...trust me the boundaries are very clear now!

[RunnerKate]

Itsgottawork: The lovely thing about sperm is that one the day it is "released" so to speak, it was actually created 3 months in advance. So, if hubby is sick now, it won't show up in sperm until 3 months from now. If you are worried about him being able to "perform," well that's another matter.

I have been really bothered that some of my friends have been so NOT empathetic or understanding about how awful this situation is. But, I guess they really can't understand unless they have been infertile. A lot of my girlfriends are still single, so I guess they think "well at least you have a husband." Which I can totally understand.

[kbat]

Being the Irish-Italian Catholic that I am (and a practicing one at that)--I have no qualms about doing this. I know that my religion "has issues" w/ doing this mainly because of the "leftover" embryo thing, but that has never been an issue for me so I am not in that dilemma. Poor responder, so I usually always have everything transfered (usually about 2 or 3) I also think it depends on the state where you live and what you can do w/ them. I know in RI you can't donate them to research, but in Mass I think you can b/c my current clinic is out of Mass and that's one of the options. I think if you have a real issue about the "left over " embryos, then you can always donate them to another couple who is trying.... I have many Catholic friends and a few of them know and none of them seem to have issues w/ doing it (most say that the church promotes families and if this is the only way then why not?). (After all I think God would understand me trying--there are lots of people out there who abuse their kids, take drugs w/ pregnant, have multiple babies and are on welfare, etc so why shouldn't I try since I don't think the above aren't my situation. God gave some one the knowledge to "discover" this procedure, so I don't think it's so evil like the Catholic church would lead one to believe). I guess that's why I am a "cafeteria" Catholic. In the end I know that I am doing what's best for me and my dh--so I am not worrying about it. Many of these rules are man-made, and only God can judge us on how we lead our lives. So bahh humbug to those negative people. Oh well, enough about that.

I have one friend who is so annoying. I wish I never told her. She kind of a nosey nellie type--always in your business. Unless someone has gone through this, I don't think people really understand what's involved.

Good luck to those of you starting your cycles soon.

Hope everyone has a wonderful evening!!!

[kbat]

P.S. IrishHope--I am soooo glad that things worked out. It's hard not to worry about things like that and I know that things always work out in the end, butt must be a relief!!!! I am sure that a sign of good things to come!

[IrishHope]

Agreed...when married in the Catholic Church you agree to welcome children and raise them according to your faith...I think we're all ok compared to some of the people out there doing harm to others...

kbat - thanks for your well wishes!

hopefully my bloodwork results are all ok(I went this morning at 650am) and the nurse calls today to say I can start tomorrow morning...

my office is doing a Patriots Day so we are all in our Pats attire so it's a fun day at work at least!!

[itsgottawork]

Hi Everyone,
Well the dr visit turned into a trip to the ER. My husband has pneumonia. He is now on lots of medication and hopefully will feel better soon.
They say it can last up to 6 weeks so I am not sure how this affects our cycle. I am waiting to get a call back from my doctor on that. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
At least now my husband is taking the right medication to get better. His fever broke this morning so I am happy about that.
Thanks for the hope RunnerKate! He doesn't have a problem with performing, just his counts are pretty low so they want to make sure they have a good supply on retrieval day.

I was raised Catholic also and we were married in the church. I also don't feel any conficts doing this. As was previously stated, we said we wanted children when we married and this is the way we can have them. It really upsets me that people would think this could be wrong. I don't
get it. Thankfully since no one really knows we are doing this, we don't have to debate it.

IrishHope - good luck with your results today and your first injection tomorrow! I am sure it will be easier than you expect! You are officially on your way!

Good luck to everyone!
Go Pats!

[itsgottawork]

Hi Everyone,
Well the dr visit turned into a trip to the ER. My husband has pneumonia. He is now on lots of medication and hopefully will feel better soon.
They say it can last up to 6 weeks so I am not sure how this affects our cycle. I am waiting to get a call back from my doctor on that. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
At least now my husband is taking the right medication to get better. His fever broke this morning so I am happy about that.
Thanks for the hope RunnerKate! He doesn't have a problem with performing, just his counts are pretty low so they want to make sure they have a good supply on retrieval day.

I was raised Catholic also and we were married in the church. I also don't feel any conficts doing this. As was previously stated, we said we wanted children when we married and this is the way we can have them. It really upsets me that people would think this could be wrong. I don't
get it. Thankfully since no one really knows we are doing this, we don't have to debate it.

IrishHope - good luck with your results today and your first injection tomorrow! I am sure it will be easier than you expect! You are officially on your way!

Good luck to everyone!
Go Pats!

[itsgottawork]

Sorry for the double post. I am working from home today and do not have a good connection.

[IrishHope]

itsgottawork - wow pnuemonia! glad to hear the fever broke - that is the start to recovery!! Hope it goes smoothly and quickly...nobody needs more to worry about...

does anyone know about how long I can expect to stim? I have endometriosis /will be doing 2 injections of Gonal F at 150iu a day?
Since my clinic gives me no IDEA for E/R etc. I'm just looking for a little guidance...I know everyone is different and responds different....

[LB]

Hi everyone! I am back from vacation and just as I thought I missed a lot! DH and I had a great time visiting my sister, and as much as we want kids we had to admit that having a 20 month old and a 3 month old is a lot of work - I don't love my BIL and he doesn't seem to help too much. The only bad news is that I got a stomach bug from my sister (who got it from my nephew) so we got in Wednesday night and I spent the day yesterday on the couch. I had another type of flu over the long MLK weekend - I haven't been this sick in years. Does anyone know if any of these hormones affect your immune system? I am definitely going to ask my RE next time.

While I was gone I had a message from the pharmacy - my meds have been ordered! I stop my estrogen and progesterone Feb. 5 and then wait for AF and then will start my stims. We are doing a slower protocol this time so I don't know how long we will stim. Also, I am wondering how other people know so far in advance the dates of the ER/ET. My RE waits until he sees how things progress, so while you know around the time frame you never know the exact day until they call and tell you to do the trigger shot.

As for the extra embryo issue, while it is no one's business, if you are lucky enough to have them (we didn't from the first cycle which is why we are doing a fresch cycle again), you can freeze the extra embryos for your future use if you need them, or donate them - that was one of the first questions RE asked us and of course we said we would - I would help anyone going through this in any way I can.

Also, I know all about the insensitive people who just don't get what we are going through. If one more person tells me it will happen if I just relax and stop thinking about it I will explode! My tubes are completely blocked, I have PCOS, I have an ovarian issue and DH has the ASA - yeah, clearly relaxing is going to get me pregnant!!!

[JustJenis]

Good Morning my fellow Hormone hungry ladies!!

I only have tentative dates. As we all know it's a day by day process. My ovary is in good shape and I'm extremely regular. So hoping that I do well with the stims it should be around those dates. Give or take a few. I wasn't GIVEN them.. I asked. They kept telling me Ohh end of Feb, beginning of March. With my DH's job.. we had to know a time frame. So I'm sure if you ask them what they are thinking they'll let you know. They have a plan.. it's just a matter of them sharing it with you LOL! Which as we know.. they don't always like to do. BUT i'm really hoping ours goes on schedule cause that means we'll find out about our BFP ON my DH's Bday!!!!! I told him that I was going to keep the date of the results to myself. Knowing it would be his bday.. cause I wanted him to have some element of surprise. Ya know?? This is all figured out to the last minute I wanted us to have some fun with it. Not just him being able to give me shots in my bootie... Yeah.. that's not the fun part LOL!

Hope everyone has a good weekend. I'm awfully tired today. PMS i'm sure. This is my cd21 which means Look out fridge and hand me my pillow.


*HUGS*
Jenis

[indie_rad]

Hi Ladies..

Well I gave myself the first Lupron shot last night! I was bit too paranoid about the hygiene.. but it wasn't bad. The lupron bottle looks so tiny and the amount of med in it doesn't seem like a lot. Its hard to believe that its supposed to last for 2 weeks at a higher dosage than what I have. Not much to report otherwise, just doing my countdown now.

JustJenis - I am glad you have your tentative schedule. My RE gives tentative days for ER/ET - ofcourse this is my first IVF ever so I won't be surprised about any changes in these dates.. If things move out by a couple of dates my ET will fall on my Bday.. Somehow I like to believe that these coincidences bring good things In anycase I am sure 2008 will be lucky for all of us.

I have to say that joining this group has been the best thing that happened to me so far in this whole process. Before this we barely discussed about all this with anyone outside of RE. Most my friends already have a kid and some are even on their second!

BTW.. I am thinking of going for regular massage (I already do acupuncture) just to help relax (anything that might help!). Any opinion on massage - anything that should be avoided?