Awaiting Treatment

[Jen1d]

Not another word Carolyn






We still had a blast even though we were robbed

Love Jen x

[Jen1d]

NOW MISS CAROLYN

WHAT DID I TELL YOU ON THE EGGHEADS--------------------
DAY 11 WILL BE A BREEZE.

THE PESSARIES WILL DO THEIR JOB, TRY TO STAY RELAXED.
I KNOW ONLY TO WELL HOW HARD IT IS BUT BELIEVE ME MY 2WW AT IM HAVE BEEN SO MUCH EASIER THAN MY FIRST 4 WHEN I HAD TO STOP THE PESSARIES EARLY.



HERE IF YOU NEED ME

LOVE JEN X

[CarolynB]

Jen1d - I agree that Scotland were unlucky. No comments from me. I am too scared!!

Rachel - if you are worried then ask for a check up. Good job that you have that doppler

Hope that the rest of you are having a nice weekend.

Well no worries abour D11. Happened this morning instead when I went to the loo. All bloating has gone also. Have e-mailed IM/Barcelona for advice but sure that I'll not hear back until tomorrow and not sure what they can tell me anyway. At least, it has give me some processing time with it happening on a Sunday rather than it happening at work. Seems like the embies don't like it once they get back chez Carolyn.

Hey hoh. Onwards. I shall keep you posted but I have seen the movie 4 times already and think that I am in for a 5th viewing.

Love to you all.
Carolyn
xxxxxxxxxxx

[squeezan]

Hi Ladies
This could be a long one. I've been reading everyday but haven't posted for a while so I need a major catch up.

Steph - Good luck for your scan tomorrow. I'm sure everything will be fine and you'll see that little heartbeat

Rachel - Have you found any dungarees yet? Hope you're feeling better.

Jayne - So 26th we find out how many are in there? Had to laugh at you poas Take it easy

Gill - Don't worry about being MIA, we all need a break sometimes. Look forward to your holiday and I hope you hear about the adoption very soon.

Becky - Hope DH is back by now. Congratulations on the new job

Pumma - How are you feeling? Not long til you start stimms

ICSI - So pleased everything was ok on Thursday.

[speaking of which.......curious to know - of our 2ww'ers -- are ya'll pee-stick addicts?????? just wondering if you'll be keeping the pee stick manufacturers in business since steph got her BFP and won't be needing anymore??? (i just crack myself up!!!)

I'm only addicted to the opk sticks as I'm paranoid I'm gonna miss ovulation (guess you realised that last weekend ) I'm a good girl when it comes to hpt's and only once tested early then wished I hadn't 'cos it just meant I had even longer to wait for AF and next cycle to start. As I'm not going straight into the next cycle this time I keep thinking I could just wait for AF - but that's just not gonna happen, I'll still be testing at the crack of dawn on day 14

Rachel --- OMG, you say “not officially winter” – but temps are 0 to -2…..is that farenheit????????? That’s pretty damn cold if you ask me!!! And here I’ve been whining about our 40’ish degree (farenheit) weather!!!

I think that'll be celsius It's just frosty in the mornings so far. I'm in the South East and we don't get much snow usually and rarely any before xmas but its early to be this cold so maybe we will this year.

Jen1d - I'm glad your meeting with sw went well and I'd just like to 2nd all Becky's answers to your worries. It's natural to have some doubts about any major change in your life but you'll be a great mum however it comes about

Carolynb - so sorry, is it really all over so soon? I hope you hear back from IM soon.

Jenb - Pleased to hear you're looking after yourself. Work is just work - your health and wellbeing is far more important.

Shantala - Sounds like the perfect excuse for a bacon roll if you ask me Glad you're feeling better and can enjoy you pregnancy now. Not long til 20 week scan - are you gonna find out what you're having?

nimble - Congrats on being PUPO. How are you doing? Time's going really slowly here. Love the description of your embies in a sandwich - just hope mine's not so sticky they can't get in in the first place

Karia - Good luck with the adoption process

Well as for me, nothing much going on really. Been reading a book on positive thinking and and trying to follow what it says. I've been counting the days and trying to visualise what the embie(s) are doing - how many cells, where they are etc. They should be leaving the tubes and entering the uterus in the next few hours. I've also bought a self-hypnosis relaxation cd which I think is helping. If anything starts to wind me up at work I immediately think ' does it really matter? is it worth getting stressed over?' and the answer's always 'NO' I'm amazed at how relaxed I feel.

Hi! to anyone I missed and congratulations to anyone who's stayed with me to the end of this mega post. I promise I'll try harder this week to keep up.
Love Su

[nimble]

Carolyn, surely it can't be - i was so sure that this would work for you - you sure its not implantation bleeding?? Sorry, I know probably a dumb arse question and you're probably shouting at the screen at me - trying to find some positives for you hun - big hugs to you and DH

ICSI - hope you had a fab weekend watching the footie and gobbling turkey!!

Becky - has hubby finally arrived home yet - take it from the silence that he has and you two are doing a lot of catch up

Jayne - thats so sweet of your DH, he is almost forgiveable for the follow up remark!! It sounds too me that your symptons are looking good so you have nothing too worry about at the scan.

STeph - good luck tomorrow

Su - like all the PMA and visual thinking - just think by now they snuggling down for the next 9mnths

Jen - sorry about scotland

We went to a 50th party last night down in Devon - really really good and so nice to wake up without hangover !! Having quite a few cramps today, not heavy just mild twinges so hoping its a good sign that they are settling in for the duration.

Now - I know I'm not suspose to analyse to much, but I read another post the other day and Ghost had answered and said that an ideal 3day embryo would be about 8 cell, well mine were only 4, althought the clinic said that they were excellent - now I'm a wee worried that they were excellent from a bad bunch especially as the others didn't get to freeze.

love nims xx

[Jen1d]

Hi girls

Went to the Dr today as i have been feeling depressed since Scotland got beat-----she said i have to just plod on and when Wednesday comes i should feel better as England will get beat to-----------

No, only joking, i was at the Dr for all my results and they came back all clear and normal. Of course i am happy about this but there is part of me that thinks if i had something wrong then i could move on but when everything keeps coming back normal and it still doesnt work then i just feel more gutted. Asked about the immune testing and she is going to find out all the info for me and call soon.
Also checked out about adoption medical---bless her wee cotton socks, she said she would write a letter when needed saying we finished treatment in 2007--she's fab.

Work was mad today, am so tired. Boss in the crap as she is not managing the unit and we are running it, think she will go off sick soon.
It has been pouring with rain all day, so sitting in pj's and going to chill.

Nimble - Best not to think of the embie stages etc, just keep positive and focus on that bfp. Not long now.

Carolyn - Oh babe, you are going through the mill. I can honestly say that i think this pink spotting is good as you are only a week in. I uusally bleed only about 4 days before the test, not a week before. This is why i think it is probably implantation bleeding but i dont want to get your hopes up so will shut up. Hang in there babe.

I know its hard girls but you are nearly there and doing so well
Keep smiling


Hi to everyone else, hope your all doing ok

Love Jen x

[nimble]

jen - loved your post!! Well its good that your test results came back normal - but can understand the frustration with that!

Carolyn - fingers crossed and praying for you today!!

Steph - how did it go today....... waiting in anticipation!

hi everyone else ....this is short and sweet and having a chill out night in front of TV - long day at work

love nims xx

[ICSI GIRL]

ladies, ladies, ladies ---- haven't we all been a quiet bunch today??? i've had a chance to read/catch up on all weekend posts, but unfortunately - no time for full personals.......still needed to pop in and say:

steph --- been thinking of you ALL DAY girl.....hoping you got to see your little ones heart beating strong!!

carolynb ------ {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} that's all...... you hang in there.

nimble --- STOP over-analyzing!!! you are going to surely drive yourself straight into the looney bin!!!!!!

LOVE, HUGS & KISSES to all!!! I'll be back tomorrow.......ta-ta!!

[nimble]

Me over analyse .....never!!! And I'm already in the looney bin ha!!

I'll promise to be good from now on

hows was the weekend of footie and turkey???

Nims xx

[jen babes]

hI ALL

NIMBLE SU AND CAROLYN...


ITS SUCH A DIFFICULT TIME....chin up x x look after yourself and them little uns onboard
carolyn i can only repeat what i have said to you 10 times already its a good sign x x x

jen1 hun you are doing good, glad your fab gp is looking after you x x x hope if your boss goes off it wont be too stressy at work x x

Steph thinking of ya and growing little un x x hope all is well with you and scan is soon x x x( sorry cant remember what day it is but its this week hun ) love n hugs x x x

jayne hun are you still on cloud 9 x x x hugs x x

angie hows you x x

becks hey sweetiex x x

shantala and rachel much love preggy ones in 2nd trix x x

as for me well...thanks again for all the loving support... its helped me heal x x x
hope you all had a good weekend...
i had a great night out friday at children in need quiz . was on painkillers for MS headaches but managed to have a few vodkas and got totally merry...and had a lovely night....
saturday we went a run in the car and gave the dog a good long walk and did some christmas shopping/ fab lunch... x factor and dvd at night.
sunday we again went out for lunch and had a long beach walk with the dog..played tennis (wii style) all night...

although some tears i really had a good time and am beginning to feel more like my usual self and not numb/angry or full of tears ...
been shopping all day today and bought clothes ( some even fitted well and am not as fat as i was last week with the preggy weight) ...so although not a good weekend for dieting a fab weekend for feeling good for a change and looking to the future ...

bring it on ..Christmas i mean ..not ready for FET yet!!!!!

love jen B
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[pequele]

sorry guys, not in much mood to write but I thought I'd update you...still an empty sac today. had a d&c this afternoon. i feel like total crap, wanna take the whole bottle of vicodin and not wake up. good news is I got out of work this week..joy, and i guess now that means i can look for a new job come may and not have to put up with the crap longer than that just so beanie could give me more time off from work

oh wel. ill write more later

[lara312]

Steph i'm so so sorry we are all here for you when you need us massive hugs flying for you {{{HUGS}}}

Carolyn i really hope that this is a good sign has you still have a week to go fingers crossed for you {{{HUGS}}}

JB glad that your feeling a bit more normal but it always hits you when you least expect it but dont go over doing it{{{HUGS}}}

Jackie hope that the embies are getting comfy and quuainted with their new home

Jen you have a very good doc there hope wrok gets better not worse

Thats enough now need to get ready for work

lots of love Rachel x x

[ICSI GIRL]

steph --- sorry sweetie.......*****BIG HUGS TO YOU*****

jenb --- you sound GREAT!!! love that you're getting back to your old self

nimble --- yeah, i'm right there w/ ya in the looney-bin, i'll tell ya!!! footie was good, no actually -- wasn't that great of game.....and turkey is THIS thursday (and more footie!!!) although, i still ate like a pig!!! how you doin'????

well --- AF has arrived YET AGAIN!!! i mean, not that she shouldn't have.......just the whole "monthly HOPE" thing....... oh well, just means i'm that much closer to next round......in fact, i'll start my bcp's this sunday (Nov-25).....WOO-HOO!!! So this past weekend we put up all our christmas decorations!!!! "it's beginning to look a lot like christmas!!" what about you gals across the pond ----- i hear you talking about all the christmas shopping you do ---- do you also put up a tree and all the trimmings?????

*** MUCH LOVE & HUGS TO ALL ***

gotta run......but i'll be in/out throughout the day!!!

[shantala]

hey ladies

carolyn - whats happening? cant believe you started bleeding a day before your usual "day 11". is it just spot bleeding, in which case it could definitely be implantation bleeding! have you heard from the clinic yet?? thinking of you!!

jayne - hang in there hunny...i know this new 2ww is a killer but not long now. everything will be fine!!! your dh is sooo sweet!

rachel - hey hun. sorry to hear you've been having pains. poor you, i know how worrying that feels. if you are ever too concerned do phone your midwife like you did this time. i still cant help but worry about every twinge! anyway, hope your cold starts easing off soon! and bet your hair looks lovely! have you decided if you're gonna find out what you're having yet?

su - yup, perfect excuse for a bacon roll! yes, we've decided we're gonna find out what we're having. good for you for focusing on this positive thinking....it definitely helps!

nimble - heheh...."yes miss"..glad you're listening to me! lol...how you feeling?? i know you're worried about the cell thing but at the end of the day i dont think it matters. remember emma from the dec/jan thread? i think her embie was behind in cells and the grade wasnt good and she's now heavily pregnant. i think they'll either stick or they wont. look at me, i've had 4 8 cell grade A embies put back and only one decided to stick!! so that really shows that cells and grades dont matter too much! hang in there!

jen1d - love your posts. great news that they found nothing wrong but then i also understand that it would almost be easier if they did find something wrong. your doctor sounds like a diamond though and it will be great if she gets things moving!

icsi - you're so mad! hehe...but lovely mad! you make me laugh. yes, we have christmas trees here too, etc. but i must say, i havent been as good as lara, only bought a couple of pressies so far. eek! sorry AF came for you again but like you said, at least you get to start your BCPs soon (instead of BCP i wrote BFP then!! think its a sign! lol). woohoo! way to go!

jenb - great to hear that you're keeping yourself busy and are having a good time with it. hugs!

pequele - i'm so sorry hun. i cant imagine how you must feel right now but you're in my thoughts. you know where we are if you need us. xxx

welshbugger - conrgats on the new job hun. check you out! hope dh comes home for you soon!

hi to everyone else!!!

not much to report from this end. cant believe how awful the weather is (it's been tipping it down here). bump is doing ok....we've decided to find out what we're having on the next scan (11th dec)...so will of course let you ladies know as soon as i know.

lots of sticky baby dust to you all.

xxxx

[Jen1d]

Steph i'm so sorry babe, hugs to you.



Having a strange day, head is all over the place and i'm just so confused.
Plan is FET in Jan then keep going with the adoption plan and hopefully FET will work and i will have everything-------hahaha dont see that happening.

We would love to keep going on and try again but cant afford anymore. Plus even though i would keep going, there is only so much my body can take and i feel at some point i will have to come to terms with my situation and move on---although i cant just now. I cant throw more money away---for what?? and emotionally its awful. If i had my own eggs it would be easier but i dont know where to get some if i do it over here with my free cycle, which should be in about a year??????????
I desperately want to be pregnant and experience a baby, my baby but that has been taken from me already and i have to live with the pain for the rest of my life. So donor was the next best thing and even with the best embies, its not working. I am just so frustrated as everyone keeps telling me there is nothing wrong with me---so why does it not work. I would feel better if i had something wrong then i could move on but i will always have that feeling of --i should try again and again and again---how much do i put myself through. I would keep trying but dont have the funds and also feel i am getting older. I dont want to be an even older mum than i am now so probably adoption is the only way forward. Its not a 100% what i want but its my only hope of being a mum. I know i can love a child, if it is young enough but i will always grieve for my own baby.

Sorry not having having a great day and at this stage i just want to try every month but cant although i am also excited that i am nearer to getting a baby but along with that is mixed emotions as its not mine. Dh just wants to share the experience with me whether its our baby or not---he is a star.

Hope everything goes ok today

Love Jen x