Keep in touch August buddies!

Discussion group for all topics related to infertility including preparation for pregnancy, causes, investigation and treatment of infertility.
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Paige
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Posts: 344
Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2004 3:51 pm

Post by Paige »

Staci:

I would agree more with your thought process. Why not go for 4 and maximize your chances of a few of them thawing and getting to the blast stage? The whole goal is to get a +tive, not save up in case this cycle fails. Who knows, if you get a +tive you might not even go back for the 3 others (if you have multiples etc.).

On the other hand, I would love for you to thaw 3 embies get a big fat +tive and have your dh tell me I told you so. It's all about trying for that +tive. Good luck to you, I'll bet there is some interesting pillow talk going on.

Paige
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Sand
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Posts: 3364
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2004 11:35 am
Location: Lancs, England

Post by Sand »

Staci .... You are obviously worrying yourself to bits over this one. Yours are in 3s and 4s. Mine are in 2s. Surely they wouldn't choose to freeze them just in 2s in the first place if it's common for neither to make it ? (or, am I kidding myself ?) So, I think that if your other half has decided on the 3, and you're not too sure whether to pick the 3 or the 4, go with him .. ? I think I would. Whatever you decide, will be the right choice.

Sandra x
Me 41 yrs old - dh 49 yrs old. ttc 110 yrs.
1st cycle (ICSI)....Mar 04 -ve.
2nd cycle (ICSI)....Aug 04 -ve.
3rd cycle FET........May 05 -ve.
4th cycle (ICSI) ... Feb 06 -ve
5th cycle FET ..... Feb/Mar 11
Mia
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Posts: 211
Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2004 4:26 pm
Location: USA

Post by Mia »

Hi Staci,
I, of course, can not give you an answer as to what you should do. I am just as indecisive as you are when if comes to making decisions. I spend at least 30 minutes everyday deciding on what shoes to wear.

I suppose I just wanted to speak a little on this topic. I find many parallels between your experiences and my own. During my cycle in August, my husband and I debated over whether to transfer one or two embryos. I was at risk for OHSS, so DH husband wanted to transfer one ( to minimize my risk). What really pissed me off was that he was not concerned that I might become ill, but his biggest concern was if I become ill and had to be hospitalized would the insurance cover it.

I went along with my husband even though my intutition told me that we should go ahead with two. Needless, to say when it didn't work I harbored some resentful feeling toward DH. I also am quite childish at times and new when I let him win the "one or two" debate, if it didn't work I would partially blame him for making the wrong choice.

It is very frustrating that my DH can not see things from my perspective. IVF is a physical and emotional B***T! I hate scans. I hate bloodwork. I hate the worry and stress. I hate juggling my life around my menses. DH sees all of this as little consequence. I do not blame you one bit for wanting to use your best chance first!

It appears I have went off on a rant, and you are probably wondering what this has to do with your treatment. Most likely it has nothing to do with what you are dealing with, but I just wished that I would have insisted on doing things my way since it was my body.

My second issue may seem a little more relavent. You have seven embryos----wow! I have three, so I will not have to debate: how many do we thaw? I will be thawing all my embryos and hoping for the best. I am very concerned about how many (if any) will survive. I have postponed my treatment just for that reason.

Staci, do you know if all your embryos are equal quality? If one or two looked better than the others prior to freezing this might help in making your decision, depending on which straw those embryos are in.

Anyway, just know I am jealous of your seven----a lucky number by the way! :D I, however, am very glad I am not in your shoes and have to make the decision you will be making in the next couple days.
Good luck! I am following your process closely and wishing you the very very best.
Mia
Paige
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Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2004 3:51 pm

Post by Paige »

Mia and Staci:

I too get into the mode where if it doesn't go my way, I would resent dh for talking me into something that I may have had a preference to do a bit differently. With all of the hormonal swings we must endure during a cycle....I'm sure the wrath is 3 fold!

Staci: Best of luck to you and your decision making! We're all rooting for you.


Paige
AMITHIS
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Posts: 539
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 3:16 pm
Location: Florida USA

Post by AMITHIS »

Sand,

Yes, I have really been driving myself crazy over this one. You do make a good point though. There are certainly many who have theirs frozen in straws of 2 and those who undertake a whole FET cycle with one straw of 2. So, I'll just have to trust that it must be a fairly small percentage of cases where none make it or the Dr. probably would have steered us in a different direction.

Mia,

I understand what you are talking about. Overall, my DH has been good about things but there are times when he just doesn't seem to completely appreciate what I have to go through. Yet, when it came to something as simple as him providing his sample at the clinic, he was in a really bad mood about it, complaining, etc. He had to take antibiotics for 10 days along with me for this frozen cycle and I can't tell you how many times he complained they were bothering his stomach or making him tired. And, here I am, taking multiple kinds of pills and injections with various annoying side effects, getting invasive tests done, having to go into the clinic for scans and bloodwork all the time....
I really lost it with him one night and told him he was looking to the wrong person for sympathy!! :x Most of the time, when I complain about something or act short tempered, he seems to not understand what my problem is and I'm constantly having to remind him. This is despite the fact that he hasn't been able to deal very well with the smallest taste of what I have to go through. Anyway, now I'm going off on a rant!!

I will say that this FET cycle has been much easier than the full IVF so, if I had to do this again, at least I feel that I could deal with it. I would probably just take a month off and get started again. I don't think I could handle another full IVF though and DH agreed he doesn't want me to go through that again either (so we agree on some things anyway!).

Regarding the embryo quality, unfortunately, one of the problems with morulas is that they can't judge the quality when they are at that stage of development. I guess that's another one of the reasons to try to take them to blast. What stage were your 3 frozen at?

At this point, I think I'm just resigned to leaving things the way they are and trying to put it out of my mind as much as possible for the rest of the week.

Thanks so much to all of you for helping me sort all this out in my head. I would probably be in a mental institution by now without all of you!!

Staci
Me 35/DH 41
TTC 4 years
Diagnosis: MF infertility
IVF/ICSI April 2004: -tive
FET Aug. 2004 (canceled due to cysts)
FET Jan 2005: -tive
FET Aug. 2005
ogr1
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Posts: 4301
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2003 7:11 pm

Post by ogr1 »

sorry to but in ,
but we had 4 left and we deicded to do all 4 to up our chances of getting pregant... and we did get pregant and everything was going great
but we had a mc ..
they finaly figure out why i was mcing but now it is to late....



no one wants to think about mcing but it is a fact and sometime you have to have a couple before they can know the reasons...

becky
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
Paige
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Posts: 344
Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2004 3:51 pm

Post by Paige »

Staci:

Good luck Friday! We'll all be sending Florida positive fertile vibes.

Paige
AMITHIS
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Posts: 539
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 3:16 pm
Location: Florida USA

Post by AMITHIS »

Thank you. Very much appreciated :)

Will let you all know how it goes....or doesn't go if that ends up being the case (I know, I know...need to get rid of the negative attitude)!

Staci
Me 35/DH 41
TTC 4 years
Diagnosis: MF infertility
IVF/ICSI April 2004: -tive
FET Aug. 2004 (canceled due to cysts)
FET Jan 2005: -tive
FET Aug. 2005
alicia
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Posts: 488
Joined: Sat Jul 03, 2004 6:20 am
Location: Somewhere in CA

Post by alicia »

Staci,

Good luck for ET. I hope everything goes perfectly and that you don't have any mental stress. I'm wishing you all the success!

Alicia
Sand
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Posts: 3364
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2004 11:35 am
Location: Lancs, England

Post by Sand »

Staci .... Everything will be fine !!! Lots of PMA being sent your way :D

Sandra x
Me 41 yrs old - dh 49 yrs old. ttc 110 yrs.
1st cycle (ICSI)....Mar 04 -ve.
2nd cycle (ICSI)....Aug 04 -ve.
3rd cycle FET........May 05 -ve.
4th cycle (ICSI) ... Feb 06 -ve
5th cycle FET ..... Feb/Mar 11
ogr1
Board Veteran
Posts: 4301
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2003 7:11 pm

Post by ogr1 »

:D you need tracey to get out her twigs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sending only ++++++++++++++
becky
we werent blessed with our babies to raise here but we our blessed with our grandaughter
and all of our many adopted and foster children that touch our lives
and i am glad to add that our 6th grandchild will be born this spring!!!!
Paige
Regular
Posts: 344
Joined: Wed Jul 14, 2004 3:51 pm

Post by Paige »

Staci:

Hope everything went smoothly with the thaw and the transfer on Friday. Take it easy this weekend and stay out of the gym!

Paige
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