Awaiting Treatment

[Angel505]

Been gone from here for a while. Did anyone miss me?



I feel selfish for not being here to support some of you while you have all been a wonderful support for me. I do apologise for that. But I just couldn't bear to sign on and check out the boards.


Well, its been 2 weeks since I got my BFN and luckily I have been able to handle things better - well at least on the surface. I have gotten into the full swing of my routine and getting into the social stuff as well. I know DH and my family think that I'm doing ok. But I still feel quite c#@p. I burst out crying when I'm on my own and I feel like part of me has died. I wonder if I'll ever be able to be happy again. I think its killing me to keep my feelings bottled up while trying to appear back to normal. But hey, at least I've got you all to be honest with. [I'm even crying while typing this!].



Thank god for the bank holiday weekend. Was looking forward to lie in and veg out in front of the telly in my pjs. But got the in-laws coming to stay with us. So will have to put up the "everything is wonderful" act again and do stuff.

I like 4 day weeks. We should sign a petition to make that a regular thing, hey?

[Angel505]

Time for personals:

Hope - its great that everything went well for you. Enjoy being PUPO and keep up the PMA. Take it easy at work. Don't worry about your third embie making it to freezing. You won't be needing it. This is your time.

Stephjim - Your ER sounded painful. With all that medication, I take it you slept well last night? When is transfer? Any decisions as to how many to transfer or will you leave it to your RE? Can't wait for your fertilisation report.

JenB - so glad you've kept your sense of humour. Its great that you've planned a nice holiday. You deserve the break.

Chriss - I hope that the new RE works out for you. You did mention that the new clinic is quite far. Have you managed to sort out your work so you can take the time off? Will you take a bit of a break or start next tmt straight away?

Miracle - sorry to hear about DH's job. You've been a wonderful friend thinking about me when you have troubles of your own. I will pray that something comes up so you can start tmt soon. In the meantime, you keep your hopes up and know that it will happen. I totally understand how you feel as I'm going to have to wait a long time myself. Its difficult, but I always think to myself that its just a set back - it doesn't mean it will never happen.



Steph - so glad you got to see your turtle princess's heartbeat. You don't have long to your vacation now. Are you going away somewhere or relaxing at home? This is for you:



Mia - how is the MS? You still skinny or have you put on some weight for the little one? Remember that:



Lara - is everything ready to welcome the little princess? Bet you can't wait. I'm so excited for you too. Enjoy the last few days of being pregnant.

Queen Becks - how is your bum? You start tmt soon, don't you? Have you got the dates from the nurse?

Shantala, Jayne, Su - how are you all and babies?

Hi to anyone I've missed.

[Miracle08]

Angel-


OF COURSE WE MISSED YOU!!!!!

Anytime dearest!! That is what we are here for. So sorry you have to put on your "EVERYTHING is fabulous!!" face. It sucks. I am glad you are starting to feel a wee bit better. I know it still hurts like hell right now. We totally understand not wanting to sign on right now. Dont feel guilty about anything. No worries love. Take care of you and DH right now. That is all that matters!!!!

[Hope644]

Chriss -

Sweetie - I'm so sorry. I wish there was something more I could do.



Please take the time you need to grieve. We're here for you when you need us or want to talk.

[Hope644]

Of course we've missed you!!!

Sorry to hear you have to put on the happy face for the fam. I know how hard that is... and you're right, as much as they love you, they can't really understand how hard what you're going through is. We're here for you. Hang in there, sweetie.

Thinking of you!

[Hope644]

Congratulations on 9 eggies!!! That's fantastic! So sorry the surgery was so hard on you! What were they thinkin'?!?!! Wow. I'm sure you're glad that's all over now. Hope you've had some time to sleep & recover!

Now they need to hurry up with a fert report!! Grow embies, grow!!

[stephjim]

Angel, we have missed you sooo much. So glad that you are able to feel somewhat normal around people That is a first step, right? You will make it through this. We are here for you.

Hope, yay we are ivf buddies. I am glad to have you there with me.

Jen and Chriss I hope that you are feeling better.

Mir, I am sorry about your husbands new job. Like Stephanie said he can keep looking, right?

Mia how are you feeling.

Steph, yay you get to see your little turtle this Friday right? How exciting!!! I can't wait to see the next pic.

Hello all!!! So I took one more Tylenol 3 last night so I could sleep all night. That is it for me, they knock me out.. Oh and I forgot to say yesterday that before any of that medicine was given to me, they also gave me a Dramamine for motion sickness on the way home. I don't usually have it, but I took it to be safe. I was soo sleepy yesterday.

My embie report should be tomorrow morning. They said if they do not call by 10 to call them. So they said either Friday or Sunday. I am hoping for Sunday. Depending on how they do they will do up to 3 on Friday and 2 on Sunday. So I will see. Definitely 2. Thanks to everyone for all the embie dances.

[Miracle08]

Hello everyone!

Peq-Loved the picture, so funny!!! How is the princess doing? Any MS?

Steph2- Little late again, but...

on your eggies!!!! Hoping they all fert. and all nine are ready to go home!!! Transfer 4 so we can have someone with QUADS!!!!
Sorry you had such a tramatic day yesterday.

Mia,Peq,Steph and everyone else who asked- Yes, DH is still looking for a better paying job. I am just so thankful he is working again.

Mia-How are you feeling? Why is DH thinking about quitting his job? Is he unhappy?

Jenbabes- how are you hun?

Jen1d- How are you sweetie? Hope you are ok...

Angie- I know you are busy with work, but come on! Where you at??When do you go to your new clinic?

Chriss- Thinking of ya...

hope- how are you?

Su,Nims,Beach,Lara- How are all of our Mommy's??

Hello and much love to everyone I might have missed.

Nothing new for me... DH is looking for better paying job of course. Please keep us in your prayers that something comes up!!

[waitingforMia]

HEllo girlies!! It is almost 11am and my lazy butt is still in bed!!! Man I feel lilke I can't sleep enough.

Mir: Will pray that you dh finds a better paying job. Maybe one that is even better than his original job. My dh has had probs with new mgmt that treat him like dirt. He is wanting to go into business with my father, but they arent sure when that will take off. So it is kinda stressful right now thinking about him quitting and us selling the home! But it is all in God's hands.

Stephjim: You still tired today? I think I would still be out with all those meds!

Hope: When is your test date? Man your 2ww is going SLOW!!! Hurried it up girl!!

Angel: Hi there. Like Mir said dont even think about being guilty for not being on. We all understand the rollercoaster life this is. And ugh I hate putting on a happy face for others... SO sorry. I know even dhs just dont understand what this all means. and sometimes I felt it worked out better to not let dh in on every one of my sad thoughts. But maybe the inlaws will be distracting enough for you!

Peqe: So how is that gonna work for you to be 5 mos pg with new job?? Will you still get a good mat leave (well you know good for the states). Are you still buying out all the stores?? I have not bought a thing yet! So happy you will have 2 weeks off soon. Just dont buy out all the stores - leave some for all of us girls!

Beck: WHere have you been???

Chriss: Are you lurking and not posting??? We are here for you when your ready to jam up the boards with all the glitter madness! I see Mir is trying to step in for you on that one

Well no new news for me here. I am doing online training to teach online, should start teaching in a month or so. DH is talking about trying to sell the house so I need to start cleaning and throwing away crap Selling the house will make the transition easier between his job and going into business. But it just seems like a lot of work for me right now!

MP

[stephjim]

Hey all just got back from eating Sushi for the last time in a while. I love the raw stuff you know? It was good and filling but glad I am home because still cramping some from yesterday.

Also for the Brits out there we just came home with some Yummy Digestives and some Ginger Beer. Now I love the Digestives but hated the beer. Oh and it is not really beer for those of you questioning if I drank. I don't even miss drinking right now. So feeling good about this round of IVF.

Hope to hear from you guys tonight. I will probably be up late unless i decide to take another Tylenol 3

Steph you should be home from work now, right?

[Miracle08]

WHERE IS EVERYONE AT?????

[Miracle08]

WHERE IS EVERYONE AT?????

[waitingforMia]

Stephjim: MMM Sushi. I just started recently eating it, well not anymore... I am glad you are feeling positive about this IVF. That is how I felt I just knew it was gonna work this time! Have they given you the fert report yet??? Or will that be tomorrow???

Miracle: DOnt cry, I am here - though you are prob in bed. I am actually already in bed - I LOVE to sleep

Felt blehy all day. I am glad b/c I hadnt felt bad in over a week - I like the reminder that something is still going on in there. Try to go shopping for clothes but frustrating cuz I dont know what size to buy but I need clothes badly!....

MP

[stephjim]

Hello all!!

Got up at 8am to do my Progesterone shot. Course, i ran out of alcohol swabs so luckily had a gauze pad and we used some vodka to sterilize the area. Kind of like in a movie when they poor it over the wound to clean. It was comical watching DH do it all I just had to scream just get it over with. Well it was not that bad. I guess I have a lot of cushion. So tomorrow I won't have to rush him. Does everyone pull back on the needle before they push in? We did not this first time but if it is a must, then we will next.

Anyways 8:48 my DH phone rings and I thought it was a work person so did not answer then my phone rang. Well he has a couple of work friends that have my number too so they will call me if they are looking for him. I answer it and it was my doctor/RE. I was stunned that he was the one that was calling. Out of 9 eggs, we had 8 fertilize. YAY!!!!! One little guy was ostersized, I guess. I mourn my little eggie.

Anyways the 8: 6 of them were grade 2 and 2 were grade 3. Now I asked him could any of the grade 2's turn into grade 1 by tomorrow and he said they could but there is not much difference between 1 and 2 and that 95 percent of their pregnancies come from grade 2 embryos. So the plan is that we are going to transfer 3 grade 2's tomorrow and freeze the rest. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! So 10am tomorrow.

How is everyone else doing today?

[waitingforMia]

Stephjim: I have done the shot w/o alcohol before - I think I just wiped it with water - out of vodka. But yes do pull back on the syringe just a tad every time - you dont want to inject a vein. Yall will be pros before you know it!! COngrats on the fabulous fert report!! That is great! My RE called me a few times too - freaked me out! - So looks like an Easter transfer, huh??

I am feeling very dizzy today I get up do a little work and the I haveto sit down cuz I feel like I am gonna faint! ugh.. But good news is I hired some cleaners- so I can stop feeling guilty about my house!!

MP