Unexplained,
I spent quite a lot of time to read about T18 after reading your post and from what I know, the chance of getting another T18 is 4% (for us is 3%) in the worst case. I mention because I wanted to know why you and DH have already decided to use DE next time? Did your genetic consular suggest that?
You are very right, in our native language, we have a similar saying too, if the worst misfortune did not kill you, your future life must be a blast! I am so happy that you and your DH understand life better and become stronger now. Sure we don't wish anyone to experience it, but I know T18 or any other somatic genetic disorders is still unpredictable and unpreventable, it can happen to anyone.
Whatever you decide, either terminate the pg now or continue to carry to term, you are well supported by us. In my over 40 crowd group, there was a lady had T16 and her pg was terminated at 10 weeks. The good news is that she is now expecting her normal DD (conceived right after this T16 pg through ivf with her own egg and her DH's sperm)!
Wish you and DH all the best!
Feb 2009 Moms to Be
Last edited by children on Wed Oct 01, 2008 5:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Me, 50 DH, 40
IVF, 11/05, 19 embryos(e), no ET, OHSS
FET, 02/06, cancelled, dominant egg
FET, 04/06, 4e, BFN
FET, 06/06, 6e, DD born 02/07
FET, 05/08, 5e, DS born 01/09
http://yasminachina.blogspot.com/
IVF, 11/05, 19 embryos(e), no ET, OHSS
FET, 02/06, cancelled, dominant egg
FET, 04/06, 4e, BFN
FET, 06/06, 6e, DD born 02/07
FET, 05/08, 5e, DS born 01/09
http://yasminachina.blogspot.com/
unexplained-I am so very sorry, but do not know how I could help ease your pain. You sound very optimistic and knowledgable, and I think we all know knowledge is power. I only want you to be able to feel the positive signs and symptoms of pregnancy again, and hope we will get to hear about it. We do support you and all of your decisions, whatever they may be that are right for you and your family. Please know you are in my thoughts...
Our precious Liam was born 2/4/09!
-
unexplained infertility
- Regular
- Posts: 105
- Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 8:43 pm
- Location: chicago
Thank you for all the support here. It really means a lot to me. Besides my DH and sis nobody knows yet, as we need to decide on what to do next. I know that it has to be our and only our decision, so we need to make up our mind before we speak to anybody who could influence us.
So far, we are towards termination. I just think it is inhumane to give birth to a child and watch how she (yes, we are having a baby girl) suffers and dies slowly. It would give us, the parents, comfort that we are able to hold her, but I am afraid it would just make the baby suffer more.
As far as termination goes, it is a damn difficult decision, the most difficult so far in my life. D&E sounds really cruel, but on the other hand the baby dies very quickly after being sedated. That would also mean that I will never see my baby girl.
Induced labor does not sound better. The baby will not be able to breathe as her lungs have not developed yet, so she will suffocate, if she even survives thru the birth canal. We would be holding a dead baby and I am not sure that is the way I want to remember her. I want to remember her from what I saw on the ultrasounds, playful and funny little creature.
We really still dont know what to do and we have to decide soon, as the deadline for pregnancy termination in my state is approaching
I thought that infertility journey was difficult, but it really sounds like a piece of cake now.
So far, we are towards termination. I just think it is inhumane to give birth to a child and watch how she (yes, we are having a baby girl) suffers and dies slowly. It would give us, the parents, comfort that we are able to hold her, but I am afraid it would just make the baby suffer more.
As far as termination goes, it is a damn difficult decision, the most difficult so far in my life. D&E sounds really cruel, but on the other hand the baby dies very quickly after being sedated. That would also mean that I will never see my baby girl.
Induced labor does not sound better. The baby will not be able to breathe as her lungs have not developed yet, so she will suffocate, if she even survives thru the birth canal. We would be holding a dead baby and I am not sure that is the way I want to remember her. I want to remember her from what I saw on the ultrasounds, playful and funny little creature.
We really still dont know what to do and we have to decide soon, as the deadline for pregnancy termination in my state is approaching
I thought that infertility journey was difficult, but it really sounds like a piece of cake now.
unexplained infertility: I just want you to know that I read up on the ladies on this board and I am so sorry for what you are going through. Your strength is inspiring and I know that whatever you decide it will be the right decision for you and your husband.
I went through this same scenerio with a close friend that was having a baby on her own (as a single mom in her late 40's). It was devastating to have to make such a difficult choice but I think you will feel peace when you decide.
I had a 21 week loss last year at this time due to incompetent cervix. The baby was fine but my cervix opened (way to soon) and I had to deliver. It was a painstaking process knowing the baby was "ok" but that I could not keep him in. I could feel still him moving as I was in labor, much like I imagine you are still feeling your sweet baby girl. I have to tell you, I treasure the moments I got to hold him in my arms and kiss his tiny head and swaddle him in a blanket and tell him how loved he was and how sorry I was that he couldnt be with us. He looked just like a tiny little baby (he was 1 lb). Before this happened to me, I never thought I would be able to hold a baby that was not alive (I was always afraid to ask exactly when he died but I am assuming in the birth canal or when they clamped the cord). It was a very calm and peaceful delivery. I just wanted to give you some perspective on one person's experience. I hope that you continue your strong resolve. I know it is amazingly difficult...I really do.
To give you some hope...we went on to do another fresh cycle of IVF within months. I knew I would never ever get over the loss of our little guy, but I also knew I needed to do IVF asap in order to follow our dream...I am about to have twin girls, possibly to be born on their brothers birth date.
I wish you well and you will be in my thoughts and prayers...
Sara
I went through this same scenerio with a close friend that was having a baby on her own (as a single mom in her late 40's). It was devastating to have to make such a difficult choice but I think you will feel peace when you decide.
I had a 21 week loss last year at this time due to incompetent cervix. The baby was fine but my cervix opened (way to soon) and I had to deliver. It was a painstaking process knowing the baby was "ok" but that I could not keep him in. I could feel still him moving as I was in labor, much like I imagine you are still feeling your sweet baby girl. I have to tell you, I treasure the moments I got to hold him in my arms and kiss his tiny head and swaddle him in a blanket and tell him how loved he was and how sorry I was that he couldnt be with us. He looked just like a tiny little baby (he was 1 lb). Before this happened to me, I never thought I would be able to hold a baby that was not alive (I was always afraid to ask exactly when he died but I am assuming in the birth canal or when they clamped the cord). It was a very calm and peaceful delivery. I just wanted to give you some perspective on one person's experience. I hope that you continue your strong resolve. I know it is amazingly difficult...I really do.
To give you some hope...we went on to do another fresh cycle of IVF within months. I knew I would never ever get over the loss of our little guy, but I also knew I needed to do IVF asap in order to follow our dream...I am about to have twin girls, possibly to be born on their brothers birth date.
I wish you well and you will be in my thoughts and prayers...
Sara
unexplained and sara,
You both are truely amazing and I admire your strenth and courage. Sara, congratulations on your twins!
Unexplained, as I said that I spent a lot of time to look up online to understand t18, my conclusion is no decision is wrong! To see others perspectives, you may get some ideas as to how you would like to proceed. Here is one link that I found useful and hope it will be helpful to you and your DH.
My heart goes out to you, take care!
http://trisomy18support.org/modules/new ... 5&forum=30
You both are truely amazing and I admire your strenth and courage. Sara, congratulations on your twins!
Unexplained, as I said that I spent a lot of time to look up online to understand t18, my conclusion is no decision is wrong! To see others perspectives, you may get some ideas as to how you would like to proceed. Here is one link that I found useful and hope it will be helpful to you and your DH.
My heart goes out to you, take care!
http://trisomy18support.org/modules/new ... 5&forum=30
Me, 50 DH, 40
IVF, 11/05, 19 embryos(e), no ET, OHSS
FET, 02/06, cancelled, dominant egg
FET, 04/06, 4e, BFN
FET, 06/06, 6e, DD born 02/07
FET, 05/08, 5e, DS born 01/09
http://yasminachina.blogspot.com/
IVF, 11/05, 19 embryos(e), no ET, OHSS
FET, 02/06, cancelled, dominant egg
FET, 04/06, 4e, BFN
FET, 06/06, 6e, DD born 02/07
FET, 05/08, 5e, DS born 01/09
http://yasminachina.blogspot.com/
Unexplained, I hope the path is becoming clear to you, and that you are staying strong for the future.
Children and Sara - I have to say what great support you guys are giving.
I wanted to update you all after my 16 week scan -
We are having a BOY!!!! And a SOMETHING!!!!!!
One was definitely a boy, and the other one just wouldn't give it up! He?She? had their legs bent and the feet coming in to the middle where their bits would be. The OB said he thought it might be a girl because there was nothing super obvious - and I have to say I was sure there was one boy, and I think the other is a girl too!
Anyhoo, hope everyone else is okay, and thoughts with all of you x
Children and Sara - I have to say what great support you guys are giving.
I wanted to update you all after my 16 week scan -
We are having a BOY!!!! And a SOMETHING!!!!!!
One was definitely a boy, and the other one just wouldn't give it up! He?She? had their legs bent and the feet coming in to the middle where their bits would be. The OB said he thought it might be a girl because there was nothing super obvious - and I have to say I was sure there was one boy, and I think the other is a girl too!
Anyhoo, hope everyone else is okay, and thoughts with all of you x
Me 31,DH 42
IVF #2 06/08, BFP!!!
First U/S 7/30/08 TWINS!!!
IVF #2 06/08, BFP!!!
First U/S 7/30/08 TWINS!!!
Congrats Jude! Do you know if you would be able to get in in another week or so to re-scan or if there would be a future time soon you could confirm? Our sonographer had to go back a few times after measuring everything else to see that yes indeed with legs down/apart we are having a boy.
That's so exciting!
That's so exciting!
Our precious Liam was born 2/4/09!
Well we went a registered today. It was sooo much fun! I am so glad I found out that we are having a boy so that I didnt have to struggle with the neutral stuff. They just don't make things very neutral anymore. ANyway, I'm sure there are some things that we missed, but as we go we'll figure it out. I can't beleive how expensive things are! We are definitely going to end up buying a lot of stuff....talk to you guys later
Me 32 DH 31
DS 3rd try
8 failed cycles
No luck with adoption
DS 7/23/14 IUI after Celiac diagnosis
DS 3rd try
8 failed cycles
No luck with adoption
DS 7/23/14 IUI after Celiac diagnosis
Neffi-I hear you. I began registering for BASIC stuff, stuff you need to actually bring the little one home and begin caring for it. After that, you can have some cute things, however that has got to take its toll on the budget too. I am welcoming hand me downs from sister in law, etc and am totally open to what people give us now that they too know its a boy.
You will figure it out as you go - seems we've all been doing it for thousands of years!
You will figure it out as you go - seems we've all been doing it for thousands of years!
Our precious Liam was born 2/4/09!
Feels like a long time away until we would think about registering!!
We have a lot of work to do in the house like walling off a room and changing where a hallway goes in order to make room for the babies!
It is nice going into shops now though and wandering and looking in the baby sections!
We have our 20 week scan on the 29th October, so that is when we will hopefully find out if the other is a girl (which I'm really sure it is!)
My belly is growing a fair bit now, I was thinking that for thanksgiving I might just paint it up as a butterball turkey somehow!!
We have a lot of work to do in the house like walling off a room and changing where a hallway goes in order to make room for the babies!
It is nice going into shops now though and wandering and looking in the baby sections!
We have our 20 week scan on the 29th October, so that is when we will hopefully find out if the other is a girl (which I'm really sure it is!)
My belly is growing a fair bit now, I was thinking that for thanksgiving I might just paint it up as a butterball turkey somehow!!
Me 31,DH 42
IVF #2 06/08, BFP!!!
First U/S 7/30/08 TWINS!!!
IVF #2 06/08, BFP!!!
First U/S 7/30/08 TWINS!!!
Jude - Congrats on the boy and maybe girl, that is wonderful! I'm sure you'll be able to see for sure during your 20 week scan.
Unexplained - I've been praying for you and DH and hope you've been able to come to peace with whatever decision you've made. I think about you constantly and wish you the very best.
I'm sure there's not a set date or anything, but when are we supposed to start registering? I bought the baby bargains book, so I'm going to start making a list of items to register for. I did purchase my crib bedding today online, so I'm excited about that We also put together the baby bed last week, but that's about as far as my planning has gone. I'm more concerned right now about finding a nanny, seems to occupy my mind constantly.
I hope everyone is doing great, time seems to be flying by these days!
Unexplained - I've been praying for you and DH and hope you've been able to come to peace with whatever decision you've made. I think about you constantly and wish you the very best.
I'm sure there's not a set date or anything, but when are we supposed to start registering? I bought the baby bargains book, so I'm going to start making a list of items to register for. I did purchase my crib bedding today online, so I'm excited about that
We also put together the baby bed last week, but that's about as far as my planning has gone. I'm more concerned right now about finding a nanny, seems to occupy my mind constantly. I hope everyone is doing great, time seems to be flying by these days!
Me 38 - DH 34
IVF#2 - BFP 6/29
IVF#2 - BFP 6/29
Hi All!!! Sorry I've been MIA for so long. We had to drive to OH for DH's grandpa's funeral. Being in a small car (we took DH's corvette for better gas mileage) for 12 hours while pregnant really takes a toll on you!!! I had to stop to pee every hour.
Unexplained- WOW, I can't even express how I felt when I read what you've been going through, I can't even imagine how you are feeling. My heart goes out to you and DH and I want you to know that I am SO, so sorry that you have to go through this. DH's has fragile X in his family, his aunt, who is just a few years older than us, got pregnant and did the amnio at 14 weeks, the test results can back at 1,200 (a fragile X effected child is around 200), because the results were abnormally high they did a repeat on the test and it came back at 1200 again. She ended the pregnacy at 21 weeks. We were just talking about this at the funeral over the weekend, I was trying to encourage her that she should try again. I hope you can find peace and know that you're decision is YOUR and DH's decision and no one's elses. I wish you the best!!!
Crogers- How exciting to get your cribs in. Did you get them all set up?
Angram- We choose to have our showers in Nov because we have to travel to get to them. So with the holidays we thought that was best for us. Plus, I hear SO many people talk about how it was so nice to have the nursery done, everything washed and set up, ready to go 4-6 weeks before they were due. I couldnt handle having a shower 1 month before my due date then trying to get everything put together, washed, organized and whatnot. What bedding did you choose??? My dad is making our crib, so we have to wait on that before we can set up the bedding, but we have a cradle we are going to use for the first month anyway.
Jude, congrats on the little boy and maybe a girl!!! How are you feeling with the two? Lots of movement? I am with you, we have lots of things to get done around the house right now. I feel like we are so pressed for time, its driving me nuts!! We have recently put all hardwoods in our house from bottom to top, with the exception of the stairs because my dog would not have been able to go down the steps on wood, she would have fallen down the steps. Now that she is gone we need to get them done ASAP before baby comes because of the saw dust, sanding dust and the smells of stain and whatnot. Aaahh, I feel like I am out of time!!!
Neffi- I am glad you had alot of fun registering!!! I must say, I had the baby bargin book and made the list of things and brand of exactly what I wanted before I went to the store and registered, but it still took 3 hours!!!! So, with that said, DH and I went to a co-ed shower recently and there were a TON of people there and do you know that poor girl only got FIVE things from her registry!!! I was so upset for her. I kept thinking all the time she put into that and she didnt get what she asked for. She didnt register for not one bouncer and she got FIVE!!! WOW!!
Nothing new here, I go for my BIG ultrasound next week. I am SO nervous!!! I pray that everything is ok. She is in there all the time movin and groovin. I find witht he doppler she likes to keep her upper body way low in the pelvic and her feet at the top of my uterus, so I feel movement at both. I really feel movement when she is doing flips, my belly moves, its great!!!
Hope everyone is well and the babies are growing and moving like crazy!!
Unexplained- WOW, I can't even express how I felt when I read what you've been going through, I can't even imagine how you are feeling. My heart goes out to you and DH and I want you to know that I am SO, so sorry that you have to go through this. DH's has fragile X in his family, his aunt, who is just a few years older than us, got pregnant and did the amnio at 14 weeks, the test results can back at 1,200 (a fragile X effected child is around 200), because the results were abnormally high they did a repeat on the test and it came back at 1200 again. She ended the pregnacy at 21 weeks. We were just talking about this at the funeral over the weekend, I was trying to encourage her that she should try again. I hope you can find peace and know that you're decision is YOUR and DH's decision and no one's elses. I wish you the best!!!
Crogers- How exciting to get your cribs in. Did you get them all set up?
Angram- We choose to have our showers in Nov because we have to travel to get to them. So with the holidays we thought that was best for us. Plus, I hear SO many people talk about how it was so nice to have the nursery done, everything washed and set up, ready to go 4-6 weeks before they were due. I couldnt handle having a shower 1 month before my due date then trying to get everything put together, washed, organized and whatnot. What bedding did you choose??? My dad is making our crib, so we have to wait on that before we can set up the bedding, but we have a cradle we are going to use for the first month anyway.
Jude, congrats on the little boy and maybe a girl!!! How are you feeling with the two? Lots of movement? I am with you, we have lots of things to get done around the house right now. I feel like we are so pressed for time, its driving me nuts!! We have recently put all hardwoods in our house from bottom to top, with the exception of the stairs because my dog would not have been able to go down the steps on wood, she would have fallen down the steps. Now that she is gone we need to get them done ASAP before baby comes because of the saw dust, sanding dust and the smells of stain and whatnot. Aaahh, I feel like I am out of time!!!
Neffi- I am glad you had alot of fun registering!!! I must say, I had the baby bargin book and made the list of things and brand of exactly what I wanted before I went to the store and registered, but it still took 3 hours!!!! So, with that said, DH and I went to a co-ed shower recently and there were a TON of people there and do you know that poor girl only got FIVE things from her registry!!! I was so upset for her. I kept thinking all the time she put into that and she didnt get what she asked for. She didnt register for not one bouncer and she got FIVE!!! WOW!!
Nothing new here, I go for my BIG ultrasound next week. I am SO nervous!!! I pray that everything is ok. She is in there all the time movin and groovin. I find witht he doppler she likes to keep her upper body way low in the pelvic and her feet at the top of my uterus, so I feel movement at both. I really feel movement when she is doing flips, my belly moves, its great!!!
Hope everyone is well and the babies are growing and moving like crazy!!
[img]<a><img></a>[/img]
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hopefulinillinois
- Member
- Posts: 45
- Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2008 3:02 am
- Location: Illinois
I'm happy to hear that everyone is doing great. All the excitement is wonderful! Sounds like alot of us are on the same page with getting our houses ready and registering!!!! My hubby and I did that on Saturday. It was sooo much fun AFTER my husband got over his panic attack! HA HA HA!!! It's finally sunk in that the baby will be here in less than 4 months!!!! We walked into Babies R Us and he turned white and had to go outside for fresh air! I sat at the desk laughing so hard I was crying. I had never seen that side of him. Poor guy! I just don't understand what he thought was happening with my ever expanding belly! I also ordered my bedding...I don't have a crib yet but I got the bedding! Nothing like jumping ahead 2 steps!
Well my 17 year old daughter has decide she is throwing us a baby shower Nov. 30 and my mother in law INSISTS on throwing us one on January 24. 2 1/2 weeks before I'm due. Does anyone else think that's crazy?!?!?! I'm grateful that she's doing it but 2 1/2 weeks?!?!?
My anmio results finally came in on Friday. Everything is great. We have our level 2 ultrasound tomorrow. Has anyone else done all of this testing? I'm not sure why after the amnio came back ok they want to do the level 2.
Current craving......peanut butter and jelly and sauerkraut (not together!)! I could eat them 24/7!!!
UNEXPLAINED - I am very sorry to hear about what you and your DH are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs to both of you!
Well my 17 year old daughter has decide she is throwing us a baby shower Nov. 30 and my mother in law INSISTS on throwing us one on January 24. 2 1/2 weeks before I'm due. Does anyone else think that's crazy?!?!?! I'm grateful that she's doing it but 2 1/2 weeks?!?!?
My anmio results finally came in on Friday. Everything is great. We have our level 2 ultrasound tomorrow. Has anyone else done all of this testing? I'm not sure why after the amnio came back ok they want to do the level 2.
Current craving......peanut butter and jelly and sauerkraut (not together!)! I could eat them 24/7!!!
UNEXPLAINED - I am very sorry to hear about what you and your DH are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs to both of you!
ER- 5/21 ET- 5/24
6/9- BFP
2/5/09- Madison Olivia born 7lbs 9 oz. 21 1/2 long
[img]http://bd.lilypie.com/xl3Ym6/.png[/img]
6/9- BFP
2/5/09- Madison Olivia born 7lbs 9 oz. 21 1/2 long
[img]http://bd.lilypie.com/xl3Ym6/.png[/img]
-
unexplained infertility
- Regular
- Posts: 105
- Joined: Wed May 16, 2007 8:43 pm
- Location: chicago
loss
Hey Girls,
I am glad all is fine with you so far. Congrats on the boys and girls!
We terminated our pregnancy yesterday by D&E and, surprisingly, I dont feel very bad today, as if it didnt get to me yet. I am cleaning, cooking, and looking for an egg donor. We will try to find someone without agency at first, and if in a couple of months we do not find anybody, we will look in agencies. Does any of you have any experience with it in US? Or any advice?
I am 100% sure I do not want to try with my own eggs again. 4% chance of trisomy reoccuring is 4% too much and I dont want to go thru it again. I just have to face the fact that I cant have children with my genes. But maybe it is better, since I have had so many problems getting pregnant. I couldn't stand my children going thru the same experience.
As I wrote earlier, I will keep checking on your progress. My story is sad but I dont want you to be sad because of me when it is time to enjoy your pregnancies. I am sure I will be fine. Take care.
I am glad all is fine with you so far. Congrats on the boys and girls!
We terminated our pregnancy yesterday by D&E and, surprisingly, I dont feel very bad today, as if it didnt get to me yet. I am cleaning, cooking, and looking for an egg donor. We will try to find someone without agency at first, and if in a couple of months we do not find anybody, we will look in agencies. Does any of you have any experience with it in US? Or any advice?
I am 100% sure I do not want to try with my own eggs again. 4% chance of trisomy reoccuring is 4% too much and I dont want to go thru it again. I just have to face the fact that I cant have children with my genes. But maybe it is better, since I have had so many problems getting pregnant. I couldn't stand my children going thru the same experience.
As I wrote earlier, I will keep checking on your progress. My story is sad but I dont want you to be sad because of me when it is time to enjoy your pregnancies. I am sure I will be fine. Take care.