Awaiting Treatment

[ICSI GIRL]

hey mir!! i'm "kinda" on......(kinda not).....have super busy day ahead of me at work --- which isn't always conducive to my playtime out here!!! damn work!!

yes -- had a great turkey day! ate too much (YUMMY!!).... love pumpkin pie!!! do you gals across the pond eat pumpkin pie???? (curious) my momma stayed w/ us for couple days and we had a big time!! although - she is such a nag about "when are you going to get me a grandbaby" -- even KNOWING what all we've gone thru to date to make that happen -- i'm all like MOTHER -- WTF???!!!!!! is this really something you need to bring up right now??? oh well...still had great time

was thinking of you -- wondered if you got all moved into new house!! i LOVE moving (not that i ever anticipate doing it again until i'm WAY old and can't live on my own any longer!!) - being the OCD freak that i am - always loved the "organizing" of it all!! throw away CRAP that has needed to be thrown away for years!!! good to hear your doggies are liking their new home! do they have a big yard to play in??

ok -- gotta run for the moment...will check in as i can!!! (i STILL can't get this GIANT grin off my face about our queen beck!!!)

[Miracle08]

Hi Angie!!!!!! I am so glad you are around, kind of!!!

I LOVE pumpkin pie toO!!!! With some cool whip!!!!!!!!!!! YUMMY!!!!!
I cannot believe your Mom did that. That really is horrible. I mean come on...like it isnt hard enough around the holidays!! Does she know you and Dh were having a hard time a couple of months ago??? I know she didnt mean to hurt you, but people can be so dumb. I have a list of comments that should NOT be said to childless couples at home that I posted on my myspace. I am going to copy it and post it here so you can send it to your Mom!!! I did. It just gets to be too much. Nevertheless, hurtful.

Yep we are mostly moved in. Just a couple of odds and ends to get. I cannot believe you like to move. I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come on down to FL so you can organize my home!! Well, the dogs had a bigger yard at the other house but it will suffice. Thank you so much for thinking of me!!! You are so sweet!!!

where is everyone? GEESH...BECKS get knocked up and everyone is MIA!! They all must be out partying...getting all shnokered!!!! (SP??) Becky is just there watching!!!

[wishfull27]

omg - Becky - am soooo pleased for you both - told you its was going to be a BFP when you were all down in dumps at weekend - huge hugs to you all xxxx

[Miracle08]

WHERE IS EVERYONE?????????????????????

[PMApsy]

Sorry sorry I'm here!!!

Miracle,
Hi sweetie! I'm so happy the move went well, I hope Charlie has gone back to being the glutton he usually is! What kind of home did you move in? Is it far from your old home? Gotta agree with Angie... I love moving, just because I like change! My grandma is the same.. hehehehe she changes the paint here and there every two or three years, not to mention the position of the furniture and the wallpaper! The funniest thing was when she had eye surgery for cataracts... LOL her old cristallines were so yellow that it altered her perception of colors... and LOL when she got her "new" eyes, she when through her wardrobe and kept making all those loud comments, "I can't believe ai bought THAT!!!!!" And of course my grandpa ended with a major paint job because she found all the colors in the house too yucky, lol! I hope most of the unpacking is done sweetie, and you know that if I could, I'd be right there with you hleping you organize stuff! Not OCD, but definitely Martha Stewart-ish...

Angie,
You mom's comment was indeed very uncalled for... SIGH... I'm so sorry sweetie. *HUGS* Can't wait to see Miracle's list... But I'm glad you could stuff yourself with good turkey and pumpkin pie! Oh, I tried this new recipe at Halloween... oooooh... it has a first creamy layer with pumpkin and a second crunchy layer with pecans, pumkin seeds and I don't remember what else... but it was a huge hit!

Carolyn,
Always nice to see you around dear!

Gotta run, I have a prez to make. But I'm doing well! Busy, but well! Nothing too exciting to report, life is rather sweet, if only colder and colder! But I bought new winter boots... ooooh... super high, black leather, laced all the way up at the front... feel like an Underworld character, or even like Trinity! At my lab, when I was doing my doc, we called these "hooker boots", lol!

Take care!

Sophie xxox

[PMApsy]

Hi girls,

okay, I'll say it, I really need a pick-me-up... And I know you ladies will be able to make appropriate comments...

I created a thread on the other side when I got my BFP. Several ladies there joined the thread and posted a lot during their first trimester. Many girls there seemed only interested in posting about themselves and interacted very little with the others. After some 10 weeks, the thread became quite silent. The friend who posted often with me miscarried and left, understandably. I tried the same things people do here, I sent a couple of "hellooooooo? where's everyone?" posts, but it changed nothing.

Two weeks ago I had a very difficult and emotional experience at the doctor's, and I wrote a really long post about it. Only one person replied; she thought it was a good idea to choose that moment to tell me that my posts were inappropriately long. She said wasn't surprising that others didn't interact on the thread. I told her I didn't think the length of my posts was responsible for the lack of interaction and simply told her not to read my posts if she found them too long. It stayed like that until today. And another person from the thread also commented that my posts were inappropriately long. She added she felt that my "where is everyone?" posts were reproacheful. I told her it wasn't my intention, and I also repeated the same comment about length and interaction. She pmed me within minutes. Here's what she wrote:

That is fine. And it is a personal preference and you are welcome to post whatever you want.

I think I will go back to my other thread (where I first met valerie, and Kerpupples and a whole group) . I know some of those women came on here and found the tone and the reprimands a bit much and left immediately.

I was trying to stay on board, but I find you very controlling and defensive about others. I know you don't mean it, and it sounds like you are going through a lot. I wish you the best.

Her remarks hurt my feelings, of course, and I'm quite confused. These past few months, to my big surprise, several people from all around the forum either pmed me or posted about how they liked reading my posts even if they didn't know me. So I thought my tendency to write a lot of info into my posts and make sure I gave accurate info was useful for a few people at least. And what confuses me even more is that the November mommies thread I started with my first BFP did the exact same thing... people just stopped posting all the way through their second and third trimesters, and only started posting again when they were about to deliver... and I had left the thread ages before that because I miscarried. So I couldn't be responsible for the lack of interaction and people leaving the thread, I was no longer there!

Those two people, and all those who stopped posting on the thread, now make me feel like I should open my eyes about something really obvious that's really wrong with me and it makes me feel bad.

I'm sorry, I'm writing a long post again. I guess I'm just trying to get an honest opinion from you guys because if I do have a problem, or if I can improve something, then I want to know. But I'm a human being with feelings and I deserve to be told in a more humane and gentle way...

Hugs,

Sophie

[shantala]

hey everybody....

sophie - honestly?? you want an honest answer?? well, the complete truth for me is that i'm not sure whats wrong with these other women...they obviously all know each other as they cycled together or god knows what else and dont want to accept somebody new into their clique. i absolutely LOVE your posts and always have done. fair enough, on days where i only have time to pop in, i might just skim your posts which are a bit longer but on days where i have more time i read and enjoy every word you write. god only knows how many times your words have picked me up in the past when i have cycled and hit down times. so please, please, please dont listen to these insensitive ladies and carry on posting your long posts.....we love you the way you are and please dont change!!

xxx

[kerpupples]

I'm sorry but posting the contents of a PM is a violation of every message board I've ever seen. I'll be contacting the moderator about this.

[stefanie]

Hi. I'm Stefanie. And I think it is totally uncool to post my name and private message on another thread.

If you need support, that's cool, but this is really high school and a violation.

Also, if you were hurt by my comments you could have responded to me rather than in a public place.

I was addressing something you said to me, and I did it privately because I know how much you have done for that thread and would not want to humiliate you. I have no doubt that many people like your posts.

You don't seem at all interested in hearing any other point of view I just hope you will keep me out of your Public postings. this is really unfair

[PMApsy]

Hi Shantala!

I pmed you, but I also wanted to thank you here for what you wrote. We've known each other for a couple of years now (time really flies!) and I can't express how touched I am by what you said about me and my posts, on this thread and on the other. It really brought me peace and warmed my heart. You really are a sweet friend! *HUGS*

I only skimmed the two posts after yours and the bits I saw didn't really make me want to read the details! I just hope this thing doesn't blow out of proportions... Like our dear Aunty Pebbles often said, at least we'll always have our signature statement, "Blame the hormones! Always blame the hormones!"

Take care sweetie, and give DH and Elliana a kiss for me!

Sophie xx

[Miracle08]

ok girls....here is my list



RUDE/INSENSITIVE comments people make!!!


(1) "Just Relax" or "Go on Vacation." I know you mean well, but relaxation does not cure medical infertility.

2) "Just enjoy being able to sleep late, travel, etc." These are not comforting comments to me. I feel like you are minimizing the pain I feel. You wouldn't tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he/she no longer has to buy Father's Day or Mother's Day cards.

3) "There are worse things that could happen." The only person who is the final authority on how one should feel is actually that person. Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. And right now, this is the worse thing that could and is happening.

4) "Maybe it's not meant to be." Okay,not only is this comment horrible but very hurtful. Why would you insinuate that God does not think we should be parents when there are horrible people having children...

5) "I'll donate the sperm/egg." While probably meant to be funny, it is a rude, irritating, crude comment.

6) "Are you going to adopt?" While adoption is something we are definitely open to and I'm already checking into, we will come to this decision on our own. In our own time.

So, what can you say to help us feel better?
1) Just let us know that you care.
2) Help us feel that we're not so alone.
3) Support us in our decisions.

[Miracle08]

Ummmm..OK...I just ready what was going on...damn, now I am kind of annoyed...

First of all...Who even invited those two to our thread??? Why dont they stay on their side of the board. No one here cares what you think or want to read the negative things you write about OUR FRIEND SOPHIE!!!

Sophie,
Please ignore the ignorant. That is what i always do. Do not let their negativity bring you down. I totally understand why you said what you did about the other threads. I have seen a lot of women of finally get their BFP totally forget about the thread. To me, this tells me what kind of person they are. Once they got their miracle, they were done. Kind of selfish if you ask me!! Your posts are always amazingly awesome, informative and uplifting!!! Dont change one bit Sophie. We are your friends, and we love you for who you are. That is what real friends do. Please dont let those rude, ignorant, mean spirited women make you feel bad. If anything, they should feel bad. AND EMBARRASSED!!! And they said this was totally high school...they are right about that. This situation is high school and they are the ones that are causing it. Oh, and about you posting a private message...are they serious????? Come on...she sent you an email. What you want to do with that is your business. OH NO!!! Lets call the PM patrol....get real people!!!! How high school is that???????

Anyway, Sophie you know you are loved here on this thread. Dont respond to those bitter women. Hopefully they will keep their noses outta here!!

[Miracle08]

At least we know who the PM PATROL is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT A FREAKING JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[PMApsy]

Hey Mir!

Thanks for sharing that list! It's unbelievable that some people would make these comments, but alas, I know it happens! I would add a few personal favorites... "No big deal if you still don't have kids, you're young, you've still got plenty of time!" and "I'm sorry you miscarried... but you know, x% of women miscarry during their first trimester!" You mentioned giving the list to your mother; I hope it helped her understand the impact of some comments... most of the time, people mean well, or they are overwhelmed or embarassed and they don't know what to say... and they blabber something along those lines and actually make things worse! I totally agree with your comments!

And about the other thing... thanks for what you said. I knew I could come here and share what had happened especially because I knew I was among friends who would understand that my intention was to get both emotional support and an honest and tactful feedback if there were some things I needed to be aware of. I didn't expect those two women would follow me here and start posting, and I'm sorry you guys had to read those posts.

Anyway, thank you so much for what you wrote, it means a lot sweetie. *HUGS* You truly are a friend indeed!

Take care, and good night!

Sophie xxox

[Miracle08]

rom: kerpupples
To: Miracle08
Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:29 am
Subject: PISS OFF
My only comment was about Sophie's blatant violation of message board etiquette. I read General from time to time (including "YOUR" thread) which is how I ran across this whiny, self-pitying post by our "pyschologist". And don't call people ignorant when you don't know the whole story. Sophie has condescended to the rest of us on that thread right and left.

_________________

OOOOOOHHHHHHH KERPUPPLES....I AM POSTING YOUR IMMATURE PM!!! GO CALL THE PM POLICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!


HEY GIRLS!!!

Can you believe these women??????????? Seriously, do they not have better things to do??????????? To think these women almost have a good ten years on me in age, they sure lack the maturity they should have!!!!!!!

I cant believe these women, who we all have a common bond with, would be so darn evil. Well, I guess it takes all kinds.