April/May Cycle Buddies!

[fruit]

thank u all ladies for ur kind words and support...

well, after 5 failed fresh ivf cycles / perfect cycles with perfect embryos (grade A) / with me being perfect (no endo , no immune issues, no genetic issues, NOTHING!!!!) all ended with BFN, and RE can't explain the reason of all the failures,
Im begining to LOOSE HOPE!!!!

don't you think that if it is going to happen to me, it would have happened by now ??? i mean 5 perfect cycles failed!!! how many does is it take?????
i dont know what else to do, maybe take another RE opinion......

Sorry ladies for being pessimistic today but i can't help it...

Sorry for not doing personals today either, but im reading all ur posts and im following each and very step u r making and im still praying for all of u to have ur positive results....

Love & Hugs to alll

[mom4sure]

Moorebaby Thanks so much for the encouragement i really need it ((HUGS)). I just want to be absolutely sure that i can't use my own eggs first. If the second RE confirms what my previous RE said, then i will use donor eggs. I am sending you sticky vibes that your babies stick and stay. Praying for a BFP for you sweetie .

Heidi

Mom4Sure- I think your plan sounds solid. After I added supplements, was more diligent in my eating and relaxation we got better embryos- coincidence???? I don´t think so. I hope it works for you.

Thanks Heidi. I got A LOT of help and support from some wonderful ladies and I am going for it. Knowing that you added supplements and it improved your egg quality gives me hope too. My hope is that even if i get 2 eggs, like i did in this cycle, and they are good quality to fertilise, that's all i need.
HAPPY STIMMING HEIDI... GROW FOLLIES GROW

Jen I think your frostie is your BFP. That frostie was a pleasant surprise when he made it to blast. He's a fighter, he's going to be your baby boy . Hope you get the answers you need at your next consult. Will probably see you on the June board .

Lees Congrats on an excellent ER. I pray for an excellent fertility report for you . YEAH!!

Heather Praying for a BFP for you . I think you are strong holding out on POAS for so long. Sending you loads of positives vibes.

All the best to all, who like me, are planning their next step.

mom4sure

mom4sure

[mom4sure]

Fruit Can i ask.. Have ALL your 5 failed cycles been with the same RE, using the same protocol???

All i've been doing the last couple of days is reading, reading reading. One of the things i noted was that most people with multiple failed ivfs, had stuck with their RE's because the protocol seemed to get results EXCEPT when it came to achieving a pregnancy. They felt at some point it was time to make a change. When they changed RE's and were put on a different protocol some of them were successful, just by a change in protocol.

I think if you have been with the same RE and on the same protocol, if you decide to try again, MAYBE, you should try a different RE, with a different protol??? I've read that sometimes a small change in protol can make a difference. A fresh look at your situation may give you the answers you need.

I am so sorry about the way you're feeling. Take care of yourself.

mom4sure

[fruit]

Fruit Can i ask.. Have ALL your 5 failed cycles been with the same RE, using the same protocol???

All i've been doing the last couple of days is reading, reading reading. One of the things i noted was that most people with multiple failed ivfs, had stuck with their RE's because the protocol seemed to get results EXCEPT when it came to achieving a pregnancy. They felt at some point it was time to make a change. When they changed RE's and were put on a different protocol some of them were successful, just by a change in protocol.

I think if you have been with the same RE and on the same protocol, if you decide to try again, MAYBE, you should try a different RE, with a different protol??? I've read that sometimes a small change in protol can make a difference. A fresh look at your situation may give you the answers you need.

I am so sorry about the way you're feeling. Take care of yourself.

mom4sure

mom4sure - Thank u for ur care
yes all the previous 5 ivf cycles been with the same RE (i stayed with him coz he has very high success rates ...)
well, Concerning the protocol, i can say that after the first failed we changed protocol, the next 3 cycles were almost the same, the 5th cycle we changed completely the protocol and still no result
i will take ur advice and have a fresh look with a different RE to see what he has to say about my case.
the problem is that im afraid that sometimes, some REs say anything in order to have new patients, and im used to my actual RE and i feel he is honest.... dunno ... but i will defintely have another RE opinon...
Thank you and best of luck on ur journey.

[Blaqdymun]

Heidi: thanks. I'm now gonna hold out another 3 days before I retest.

Sunshine: Jenmink is absolutely right! You are such a wonderful person who has brought a rainbow of encouragement to the group.
I'm wishing you all the best honey (Big Hugs)

Kbanks: WELCOME TO THE APRIL/MAY HOUSE OF BABY DUST : )
Thanks for taking the time out to read our post & getting to know us all. That was sweet. Hope to hear more from you!

Mom4Sure: you seem fo be very strong & maybe a second opinion will be helpful in planning steps towards ur next journey shoud you decide to try again. Wishi.g you all the best.

Moorebaby: Hope you are felelng & doing well today, I'm praying your lil embabies are snuggling in nice and tight....I'm excited for you.

Me: I'm @ work wishing I wasn't but thank God for a good job. I'm already thinking of baby sitting options. (Yes, I have to claim this thing & speak life inyo into it. due to DH & my working hours... A live-in or home visiting nanny would be ideal, but at what cost? Ssh. My other option was to take a one year leave so, I csn be home with the baby....thats what I prefer. I will run it by hubby & discuss my thoughts. We would definitely have to pinch some pennies but we had to do it b4 for 7mths so I'm hoping he will be on board with me staying home.

[Lynzee22]

KBANKS- Welcome! I am new here too and don't know much of the lingo YET and expect to start my first IVF cycle in May or June (I hope!) I Just had my tubes removed last month because they were filling with fluid which is toxic for embryos. My tubes have been blocked since I was 16 from endometriosis.
I had the consultation before the tubal removal, sperm analysis and luckily for me a hysteroscopy and a mock transfer were all done while they took out the tubes! After that all that was left was the consent forms which I submitted 4/18- the nurse said it shouldn't be long after that so now I am just waiting for them to call!

[anton]

Easley- I am Sorry for your loss my friend Its an awful thing to happen after all that trying but you should give your self and DH time to grive and we will be here to cheer you on your pregnancy with your miracle baby SOON! My prayers and love are with you! ((hugs))

JenMink- I am sorry for your negative but I love your PMA my friend! A baby boy in June sounds perfect!! I will be praying for you to get that! ((hugs))

Fruit- I am so sorry for your negative my friend! This sucks so much! I know! While reading your post I felt like I wrote it instead! This is exactly how my ivf journey has been so far! I too had 5 failed IVF cycles. All perfect from the begining till the end...all with perfect embies and in my 5th ivf (with a new RE and a new protocol...even thought everytime it was a different protocol) this was our first time making a 5dt with two perfect textbook grade A blasts and still got a BFN. The good thing is about this time is that at least we know that the sperm's reaction on the 4th and 5th day is the one it should be! That is b/c the sperm actually does its job after the 3rd day and put's its "flag" into the embryo....Don't loose hope honey! I ask the same questions as on how long does it take and how many BFN's should I get before I get that precious BFP! But it will happen! I have quetioned God many times over the failures but every time I come back to the same coclusion, God has a reason for making me and my DH suffer through this b/c He is testing us if we are able and worthy of having one of his miracles! and I am sure God sees how much we want that baby to come into our nest and fill our lives with happiness and joy and therefor He will send us our miracle baby/ies very very soon! I am sure of that! I have faith in God that after all we've been through He will bless us Soon! That "soon" I am praying that it will be in my upcoming FET in May! and in your next cycle! Think positive my friend! I know some times its realy realy hard to do that but only if we are positive and have faith we will get to that day when we pick up the phone and hear those sweet words (I have often dreamed of..) "Conrgatulations! you are pregnant!" This day it won't be long honey! trust me! My prayers are with you! ...if it helps, you are not alone, we are on the same boat! ((hugs))

Baby dust and positive vibes to us all!


anton

[CT_Michele]

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to pop in and apologize for pretty much abandoning the boards (and the list, thanks Ester for running it). This has been really tough for me. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined I wouldn't even make it to transfer. And recovery was rough. I really didn't start feeling 100% until almost a week after ER. Still not sure where we go from here. But I did know that this week, for the rest of my vacation from school, that I needed to immerse myself in my little girl. Hug her tight, be thankful and do lots of fun stuff with her. There will be plenty of time to discuss IVF in the future.

That being said, I am pretty sure DH is against any type of donor right now, or maybe ever. He might be open to adoption, but I know nothing about it or even if I would want that. I think we might need to take a serious break (not forced b/c of money this time) and get ourselves healthy so we can have the best chance next time around.

I will try and catch up on personals over the weekend. I hope everyone gets that golden easter egg they are hoping for. Ester...fingers crossed for you my friend! Thanks for lunch the other day, it was great!

[anton]

Hi everyone!

Moorebaby/Ester- Honey your blasts look beautiful! I am happy that everything went great with ET!...Your miracle , or two is on its way! I have a strong feeling about you this time! you are getting that BFP on the 26th...that is if you don't POAS and get it sooner! I wish you all the luck in the world! ((hugs))

Blair- You are funny mama!...POAS every other day! ...You are SO pregnant honey! and nothing is going to change that! ...but I guess I can undrestand how difficult the waiting might be...Hang in there! you will see your baby/ies SOON!

Dalas- I am glad your donor is doing a great job! How was today?

Blissfull- I am with you my friend! I could try anything that will give me that BFP! A healthy diet and light exercise is doing so much good to a woman trying to get and stay pregnant!..I am all organic at home! ...Good luck and here's a little AF dance for you!

Wishingandhoping- 21 eggs sounds great! I love potato chips tooooo!!!! Take extra care of your self and enjoy those chops! I wish you an excellent fert report just like the #'s on your eggs!

Lees- Awesome # of eggs girl!! 49!!! I still can't believe it! Take extra care of your self and may you have an excellent fert report too!!! Drink lots of gatorade, rest up. let your DH pamper you and....

Sunshine- Don't ever apologize for anything! this board is here for the good days and the bad days, to offer support to the one in need! Keep on being positive honey like you were up to now and things will happen for you! I know it! Keep up that wonderfull PMA of yours that brought sunshine to our board! I am here for you! ((hugs))

Mom4sure- Getting a second opinion might be what you need! I really hope you get the answers you are looking for honey! Have fun with fertility yoga and accopancture! ((hugs))

Addy- Congratulations on being PUPO! I wish you all the best in the pregnancy journey!!

Nwquiz- Honey I wish you all the luck in the world and I am sending you tons of positive vibes and baby dust!!!! You will get your golden egg!!! Don't worry!

mrice- Good luck with ET today!! Baby dust to you!...btw I agree with Deftonesmo...quality is the most important and not quantity! and it just takes ONE to make you a mommy!

Deftonesmo- Yay!!! i am so glad everything went great for yiou and you are healthy and ready to produce some awesome follies! ...I have a good feeling about your cycle too my friend!

Vicky- I am So happy for you honey! and I am glad you are enjoying the good news with your friends! I am dreaming for that day when I get my BFP! I think I will be the happiest person on the earth!...ok and my DH! Tears of joy are the best!! Enjoy every minute of your pregnancy!! you are blessed and you deserve it!! ((hugs))

Kbillsy- Chillig and relaxing is cool! Glad you are enjoying your self honey! Easter with family is the best!

Blagdymun- Oh Yes!! A faint positive is still a positive!!! If you can see a line then a line is still a line!! I am no doctor honey but I think you are pregnant girl!!! Ask for an early beta and keep us posted!!

Heidi- Yay!!! for starting stims!! it won't be long till you are pupo!! I wish you all the best!!

Heather- I realy realy hope the easter bunny brings you that BFP!!!

Margi/Lou/Rio/Leora- HAPPY EASTER MOMMIES!!! I wish you girls all the happiness in the world and healthy pregnancies alllll the way!! Hugs and kisses!

AFM- We've got a doggy!!!! she came to us we didn't get her! i was telling my DH the other day that maybe we should get a doggy ( golden retriever or a labrador (my fav) ) and Dh said lets wait and see...next day I foud this doggy playing in our lawn! a black and white pointer we think...its probably a mix with something else...I was so excited she didn't leave the garden!! I went to do some errants and came back she was there! jumping on me peeing from joy every time I touched her then my DH came home and we decided that we keep her for the day and ask the neigbours if they lost her and if not then we keep her! I am excited! we've already named her "HAPPY" and she looks like she is only a couple of months old. we always wanted to name our dog wether it was a HE or a SHE. Today we bought her a basket, dog food snack's, toys something to chew for her teeth and dog biscuits. She was excited and very hungry! We've asked the neighbours (not everyone yet) if they lost their dog and so far no one is looking for her. She seems a bit trained for her age...we showed her the basket and from that time she undrestute that is her bed and she sleeps there. She sits and waits for her food and she doesn't come into the house when i say NO! she is adorable! and funny...she jumps up and down like a lamb! honestly! she could be a mix of dog and lamb! me and DH we are already in love with her! If we are going to keep her we will take her to the vet for shots and over to do some dog grooming to make he spotless! We are checking on her all the time and we see her from the kitchen window doing shifts and report to each other...now she is sleeping...now she is playing with her ball..now she is eating her stick etc I hope we keep her! she brought SO much joy into our home! My DH told me if we are like this with a dog imagine how we will be with our baby/ies! we will be over the moon and that's for sure!!! I can't wait!! ...So, we went grocery shopping together and bought stuff for the Easter Lunch we are giving our family, we came home and tide the grocery to its places and i made the base of the strawberry tart that I put it in the fridge to finish the tart tomorrow... we are going to the church tonight for the "epitafios" I don't know how to say it in english! its a religious thing and tonight is very important ceremony for my religion. so my brother with his son are coming to pick us up and we go together to meet my parents at the church. I will pray for everyone in this board that this easter may be the begining of good news to happen for all of us and God may bless us with babies realy realy SOON!!!

Baby dust to us all! and just in case i wont make it to post tomorrow Happy Easter everyone!!!! enjoy the time with your loved ones and be gratefull for being alive! may the Easter bunny brings us BFP's!!!!!

anton

[Red_Riding_Hood]

Update: Well, the RE wanted us to go one extra day of stims, so we actually did the ER yesterday. The last few days have been rough on me and I was glad to trigger and be done. We were able to get 25 eggs, but they didnt tell us how many were mature, etc - said they'd call and give us that information along with the fertilization report, so now we're just waiting. System is still rough. I've been sleeping a lot and the progesterone and antibiotics are making me nauseous and dizzy. We're just hoping everything goes smoothly from here.

For those with the BFNs, know my heart and thoughts are with you.

For those with the BFPs, congratulations and enjoy the ride.

For those that are PUPO and waiting, relax and pamper yourselves.

For everyone else, lots of sticky dust and hugs.

[anton]

CT-Michele- Just saw your post...I am so sorry things didn't turn out for you honey ...Take all the time you need to have your break from the ivf journey and enjoy some quality time with your family! Ella needs her mommy right now and I am sure you are a wonderful mom to give her that attention and love! You will be a mommy again I am sure! and I''ll be there to cheer you on!! ((hugs)) ...and that someone is your future baby!!...

anton

[anton]

Red-Riding-Hood- Glad the ER is over and everything went great! I wish you a great fert report!!! Happy Easter my friend!

anton

[LYD10]

Hi Anton - i am so glad you got a dog! that's the best friend to get through this tough IF journey. a dog can be such amazing friend and member of the family! our neighbors have a dog named Happy - great name!!!

Michelle - i am so sorry. this IF stuff is incredibly tough!!!! But you are still very young and have plenty of time - it will happen to you. take as much time as you need to recover and you can think about doing it again. i think you can definitely do it without the sperm donor - its just a numbers game. this time was terrible luck they couldnt get to your other follie. us male factor gals need lots of numbers unfortunately to get those few good sperms a chance. so you'll do it again and there will be more numbers and you'll have fetilized embryos to transfer. its just a darn numbers game. i know its so hard to keep throwing the dice and hoping it will land the right side up already - but the more you throw the better are your chances. and you've gotten pregnant before! that's the best indicator of success there can be!!!! so sorry again!

My heart goes out to all the BFN ladies. it is so hard - nothing worse than hearing that on the phone - i hate that feeling when your heart drops to your feet. but its just a numbers game - we'll get up on that horse and try again. right, Anton the lady with the best PMA ever!

congratulations to all of our BFP babies. nothing better than that, right!

[fruit]

Anton - thank u for ur kind words....
unfortunately, yes we're on the same boat... it is so hard when u have NO reason for all the failures....
u mentioned smthng about that if the embryo made it to the 5dt this means that there is no problem genetically with the sperm??? this mean that the problem may be in the egg or the implantation??? i'll be grateful if u can explain it to me , if i get it right or not???
i always asked God the big question "Why Me??" and no answer....anyway...i will keep praying that our 6th cycle is gonna be our last and lucky one.
U are always in my thoughts Anton, and im sure that ur next FET cycle is gonna be the one with the BFP coz ur embies are great and i've read so many articles about some women where ovarian stimulation affects the endometrium receptivity, so i think this frozen cycle is gonna be yours.
thank ur for ur high PMA, u inspire me a lot and u always give me a push to have more strength to continue this hard journey..... ur DH and family and friends are so lucky to have you in their lives.

Congrats on ur doggy & Happy Easter

to all the ladies, u are the most courageous women i've ever met, i admire u......
i'll be back with more personals very soon.

[margi26]

Anton: Congrats on "Happy" !!! Sounds adorable!! I can "see" how she lights up your face.

Ester: Resting up ?

NWquiz: How'd it go today!?!?! I hope that all went smoothly with the doctor doing the procedure....and that you are resting today perhaps?

Blaqdmun: A positive is a positive (as long as trigger is out of your system).....congratulations!! Now, that doesn't mean that something can't happen be it m/c, etc. But for the moment, let yourself rejoice in your BFP! We have to celebrate every victory!