Hi guys

[caz]

This is just a real quicky as just completed 10 hour journey back from hols and am knackered and husband wondering where I've gone!!<br><br>Thanks so much for the queries about me!! Am fine, havent disappeared and dont plan to...yet!!<br><br> great hols - I was a bit funny for first couple days, but then had MAJOR tears - really was first time dh understood what the failed ICSI was REALLY like for me. I think he had just thought it was a bit like just getting your af. WRONG WRONG WRONG<br>anyway - thats all sorted I think, altho have to still slightly "concentrate" on being upbeat. Know what I mean?<br><br>We have talked LOTS and are thinking or def having a donor sperm back up for our next ICSI and some councelling, which we were never offered at the London Fertility Centre, which I know understand is a bit odd. its now my mission to find a perfect donor. Tough!!<br><br>We are thinking about changing from the London Fertility Centre to the Bridge Centre - they seema bit more organised and sensitive. Does anyone know anything about it??<br><br>One really bad confession - I keep thinking REALLY enviously about a lovely girl I work with who did IVF at the same time and is now 12 weeks pg - all perfect. God I WISH I was in her position....and to be honest thinking of her has made me feel a bit worse not better , thats AWFUL I know. My dh tells me to stop being so competitive (which it partly is, I admit). Not sure the guys REALLY get it tho , sometimes!<br><br>Anyway - dunno if this makes sense , am so tired! Am away for a few days - will check back in on Wednesday.<br><br>Jo - great about the scan!!<br><br>July ann - thanks so much for checking up onme...lets catch up next week? U ok?<br><br>Shaz - how wedding stuff going? Good about having the op brought forward.<br><br>Lorraine - read you post about having a bad day - GOD I know how you feel. One minute you think you're fine and then WHAM it takes you by total surprise and your suddenly having a crap day. whatever you decide to do I hope you find some peace of mind. Thats at the end of the day what we are all striving for I guess??<br><br>Meanwhile I'm gonna keep TRYING to think +ve - but its not always easy. My DH has promised to say to me " everythings gonna be alright" at least 3 times daily to keep me on the straight and narrrow!<br><br><br>Love<br><br>Cazx

[sharoninsomerset]

Hi Caz,<br><br>Glad you had a nice holiday, looks like it was just what you needed, lots of time to talk about your options. Pleased you are making plans for the next go and that you are seriously considering donor sperm. I'm having my tubes clipped on Friday (1st Aug) they had a cancellation so it's very soon, which is great. I'm having my wedding dress fitting on Tuesday, before the op as i'll be swollen after it. I've just worked out how many days it is and it's 33 - can't believe it. I've got my hen day on the 16th so I hope i'm up and about for then.<br><br>Take care and speak to you when you are back<br>S<br> <br><br>

[Lorraine]

Good to hear from you both again!<br><br>Caz - sounds like the holiday was the best medicine - sometimes I think you just have to step out of the house and the daily grind to REALLY talk with hubbies! Seems as though you have really leapt forward, it's just so good to have a plan - it's motivating in itself.<br>Don't go beating yourself up about the girl at work - you are only human remember - anyway its not really jealousy - after all you are not after HER baby and it's not as if you begrudge her the success of IVF - you just wish to be in the same position too. It's just cos you are still a bit frayed around the edges - and her success is in your face. You are just normal - even if you don't feel it everyday!<br><br>Sharon - Good luck on Friday - it's good that you didn't have to wait too long - but watch you don't go wearing yourself out. How are you feeling? I hope you are not getting stressed with everything that is happening. The wedding is so close now - so I presume everything is organised - you must be soooooo excited. Oh I love the thought of the dress fitting - even I am excited!<br><br>Wasn't Jo's news of the scan simply great? How are you feeling Jo? Any symptoms yet?<br><br>As for me - I am up and down - mostly down - but I am coasting along for a bit. Not making any decisions, not trying to work anything out, not analysing every last aspect of my life - just coasting along. I like the peace and quiet for a change - even I am sick of the crying, and the upset and I am definetly sick of my own voice moaning on - so enough!!!<br><br>It is so very good to hear from you.<br>Keep in touch.<br>Lorraine<br>xxxxxx