i cant take anymore!!!

fi · Post by fi » Wed Aug 13, 2003 6:56 pm

dear guys, well it had to happen, but we have just had the call that my sis in law is preggers no.2, telling us slap bang in teh middle of this treatment cycle number 3 is enough but after today not knowing whether we can get to ec due poor response...i feel soooo crap. couldn't speak to them on the phone, dh managed well but he is going away tomorrow and i think i am cracking up!!! need the biggest cyber hug, cant cope with this shit anymore! fi

gem · Post by **gem** » Wed Aug 13, 2003 7:11 pm

Fi just to let you know we are here for you and I'm sending you one BIG CYBER HUG. I know how you are feeling alot of my friends are pg or have had babies,and they always feel pity for dh and me cos we've been trying for ages and our first ivf treatment failed in July,some times I feel like saying to everyone that we dont need there pity we want a bloody baby,but I stop myself because I know that they care and just dont know what to say. Sorry I was suppose to come on here and cheer you up when all I've done is have a good rant. Sending you another cyber hug and lots of love Gem xx

gillyf · Post by **gillyf** » Wed Aug 13, 2003 7:32 pm

Oh Fi, It's just terrible isn't it when someone close to you tells you their pg - you want to feel happy for them but it just seems so unfair. My friend came round yesterday with her baby of 6 weeks (she conceived in the first month of trying) and when she went home I couldn't help but have a good cry. Keep positive about your cycle - the hospital wouldn't carry on if they didn't think it was worth it. Sending you big hugs Gill xxx

fi · Post by fi » Wed Aug 13, 2003 7:37 pm

thanks guys, gilly - how are you doing honey? i'm sorry to hear that you had a rough day yesterday too, thanks for the hugs too - makes me feel better:) luv fi

Tracey S · Post by **Tracey S** » Thu Aug 14, 2003 8:23 am

FI just popped over here to see how you are doing - when I got out of hospital with my ectopic two of my work friends told me they were pg - they have both now had the babies and the newest is 6 weeks. My brother told me his wife was pg with the 2nd but feeling shit - oh dear how awful for her. She has now had no 2 - then through the ensuing cycles I had other work friends and DH's work collegues dropping like flies. I made me feel like giving up! I wanted to send you the massivest hug and say hang in there - you can do this and really hope that ec will arrive for you. Try to find some positives ( i know how hard this is) just so you can grasp something. and GOOD LUCK Love Tracey xxxxxxx

Helen G · Post by **Helen G** » Thu Aug 14, 2003 9:19 am

Hang in there buddy!!!!! Sorry you're having such a crap time of it - I'll be keeping everything crossed that your little follies start behaving for you. When do you go for your next scan to check on progress?? Keep your chin up and make sure you keep yourself extra busy whilst dh is away. It ain't over yet Fi - don't give up yet. Massive hug (((((((((((((((((((((--)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Helen xxxxx

bertie · Post by **bertie** » Thu Aug 14, 2003 9:32 am

Fi I'm sending you a big (((((((((((((((((--))))))))))))))))))))))too. I know how you feel. My sis is 7 mth pg. Bits of me thinks she did it on purpose once she found out about our IVF - she is that sort of person. We hadnt told anyone in nearly 6 yrs of trying but when we started our 1st course of IVF we told some and guess what..... I try to be positive for her but all she keeps saying is that 'being pg isnt all its cracked up to be.' God how I'd like to punch her sometimes! I know its hard but it will happen to us. Big hugs luv bertie x

Jo Locker · Post by **Jo Locker** » Thu Aug 14, 2003 9:44 am

Bertie, you're right - it WILL happen for you. The hardest thing is having the grace and patience when all around you people are getting pregnant. When we had our ICSI failure, every time I even turned on the internet or glanced at a magazine in the supermarket there was some celebrity or other, pregnant by someone they vaguely knew and it made ME SICK!!!! Not to mention the people I knew - two of my husbands cousins, the girl who sits next to me at work, etc, etc., the list was endless!!!! Hang in there - you too Fi - your time will come and when it does all the waiting and frustration will melt away. Lots of Love - Jo. XXXXXXXX

louli · Post by **louli** » Thu Aug 14, 2003 11:27 am

Dear Fi, so sorry to hear that you are having a shit timeand wanted to send you lots of cyber GOOD HAPPY PMA TYPE VIBES. Sooooooooooooo! know the emotion that you feel and understand that you want to give it all up. At xmas made the mistake of telling younger sister that we were trying IVF - she told me that she was worried about infertility and that was why she had suddenly married her man to get on with it. What I did not know then was that she was actually 3 months pregnant. She told all the rest of my family and made them promise not to tell me. I found out 2 months later. I will never be able to share another secret with her and feel I have lost a sister. We have only spoken twice since then. Anyway enough of my shit, YOU ARE NOT CRACKING UP. You are only reacting normally. Try to do something to distract yourself- even a movie or a video. Like Jo says HANG IN THERE. It is certainly not all over. One day you will be the best Mum in the world! MEGA HUGS, Lou

Alison · Post by **Alison** » Thu Aug 14, 2003 12:15 pm

God what an awful day for you! For me other people telling me they're pregnant is the worst bit - by the time the baby arrives I find it easier. And family is even worse - more grandchildren for your parents that you can't provide. I've had many drives home from seeing my niece and nephew (3 and a year) in tears - OK so maybe even with babies and small children I don't find it that easy! So I can completely empathise, and I've never had to deal with that mid cycle. All I can really say is hang on in there, and believe that you and your sister-in-law are going to go through this pregnancy together. There've been plenty of people posting on these boards with a low response who've almost had cycles cancelled and ended up PG. IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!! Lots of love and luck Alison x

elle · Post by **elle** » Thu Aug 14, 2003 12:21 pm

You poor woman! Iknow how you feel! My dr made me take a pr test, even after I insited that I knew I wasn't preg. So of course I felt worse when it came back neg. That very night my sis in law (who Iv never liked anyway) rang to tell us............you guessed it. I WAS thrilled for her(honest) but explained to her That I would like it if I could ask her about it all (scans etc) when I wanted. She broke her promise. She put scan photos in an envolpe which I thought was a thank you note from my 8yr old niece for an easter egg!!!!! DH and I broke down compleatly(we where at mum in laws at the time) and my mum in law got right on the phone and went thru them like a dose of salts. All my love goes out to all of you, BUT what we all need to remeber is that we need our family around us at these times. Please try not fall out with them and that most of them are scared to tell us. Try and see what the big picture will be in the futre, Christmas, birthdays etc. When any of "our babies" are old enough, do you want to have to explain why you and "auntie....." don't talk anymore?! DH and I have been trying for 8 years and will never stop. I want as many family around to love any child of ours. Love Elle. xxxx

Di · Post by Di » Thu Aug 14, 2003 12:56 pm

Hi Fi, So sad that you are having such a tough time at the mo - its ahrd enough dealing with all the emotions of IVF with out everything else. I'm thinking of you and sending you postive vibes! I too found out not so long ago that my sister-in-law was pg ( It's also 2nd pg for her!) It was just after being told the results of the tests we'd had sent to Chicago - which of course weren't good. I went into a massive rant at DH who told me.So I really do know where you are coming from! Take care, Di

Helen S · Post by **Helen S** » Thu Aug 14, 2003 2:24 pm

Hiya Mate What a nightmare. You just have to believe it will happen to you and I know that this is really hard at the mo with the cycle you are experiencing, but really do try to stay PMA. If you believe it you are halfway there. Speaking of halfway there. I was driving to Leeds this morning for more blood and yet another scan and a Bonjovi song came on the radio - living on a prayer. Now I don't like BJ particularly (liked him in Ally McBeal though), but the words of the song made me fill up: "We gotta hold on to what we got, it doesn't make a differnce if we make it or not, we got each other and that'a a lot for love..." "we'll give it a shot, oh we're halfway there, oh oh living on a prayer, take my hand and we'll make it I swear, oh oh, living on a prayer" Now, call me a crackpot, but you've got to think that you're halfway there at the mo - you really are you know. So sing these words in BJ voice and it will make you feel much better you know. If it helps, we are going out to dinner on Saturday with my friend and her hubby, who has had a miscarriage, 3 failed IUI's and is now pg naturally. I am so pleased for her, but it will be a tough evening. Hang on in there mate, it's a funny old world, but you time will come. Much love as ever and lots of hugs Helen. xxx

TracyJ · Post by **TracyJ** » Fri Aug 15, 2003 5:15 pm

Hi fi, its so awful is'nt, everywhere you look people are pregnant, everywhere you go, people are talking about it, its on the news, its in the papers and sometimes you just want to scream. This morning I got on the train and a preggers lady sat next to me, I was at work and some complete stranger started talking to me while the photocopier was warming up telling me he's youngest daughter is pregnant and what a shock it was, then i go and have my nails done and there's a conversation going on about one of the girls expecting and so i go home and sit opposite another pregnant lady ARRRRRR !!!!! [Edited by TracyJ on 17-Aug-03 10:37]

jen · Post by **jen** » Sun Aug 17, 2003 6:13 pm

Hi Fi Hope you're feeling a bit better now. I think we all have those horrible days - like the whole world is pregnant except you. I went home to Ireland for a visit last weekend and it was all too much for me - pretending to play happy families with my sister and her 7 month old baby (she fell pregnant by accident and she told me just after we had a failed cycle), also my cousin whose wife is really ill with morning sickness (I dream for the day I get morning sickness) and two of my closest girlfriends, one with her 2yr old girl and the other 6 months pregnant. I'm pleased for all of them but trying to put on a brave face was just too much. Anyway, sorry for ranting, here's your big hug that you deserve ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Love Jen xx

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