Lost 1 Twin

[Aliann09]

This is my 1st IVF went for viabilty U/S last week and we had twins they were just perfect! size, heartbeats RE said everything looked great, I was released and sent to my OB my 1st appointment was yesterday and 1 of my twins no longer had a heartbeat! DH and I are both devastated, I feel horrible and I just want to cry all the time. OB said that it was probably a chromasomal abnormality and this usually happens 25% of the time with twin conception. The other baby was doing really well, it had developed it's arm and leg buds heatbeat and size were normal and it was moving doc says I have a very healthy baby in there but I can't help being scared that I will now lose this one too. Have any of you ladies had this happen and carried remaining twin to term?

[lynneyd7]

I'm so sorry. I have not been on this thing since we to lost one of our twins back in July. It was devestating. We saw two heartbeats at out first ultrasound and every thing looked good, went in a 8 days later and just had one. They also told us it was a chormosonal abnormaly. Today I am four months and one day. Our little one is doing great, we find out the sex next month. I cried all the time in the begining, people trying to be supportive and helpful and yes we still have one does not help at all. The pros is you want to call it that is this happened early on for us, it is not or nor it will affect the other. They call it vanishing twin, and they saw 1 in 8 women become pregnant with twins and only one makes it. With us doing fertilitaly treaments we get u/s so much sooner than others who may of never known. I still think about the other all the time cause it seems like twin things are everywhere. But I have a little strong healthy one in me and so happy. For me it is still hard at my u/s cause there is still the empty sac that has not gone away and it brings it all back. Sorry to ramble so much, hope this helps some and please do not hesitate to ask me anything at all.

Lynne

[Tams]

I also started this pregnancy with twins, I was upset that we lost one at arond 8.5 wks, but as I'd had a m/c with the previous pregnancy (when only one embryo took) I was mainly just relieved to still be pregnant. I think it may have helped that although the first two scans showed two heart beats and the embryos looked the same size, the sonographer said that from her experience one looked as though it may not make it. I think that due to this and my previous m/c I didn't ever really think of myself as pregnant until we had the all clear at 12wks. I think perhaps some sort of self preservation kicked in - I know that I was utterly distraught following my first m/c in round 1 ivf.
A positive to take away is that the chances for the surviving baby are very strong, there can be many complications with twin pregnancies.
As for the second sack it was still there at 16 wks but had gone by the 21wk scan for us.
I remember at the time thinking that if one of the embryo's wasn't strong then better for it to fade away early, some close friends of ours lost one twin at 16 wks, which I think must be utterly traumatic as well as posing a risk to the second twin.
I think it does make it even harder to relax in the pregnancy (as though IVF doesn't make it hard enough), I know I've been totally neurotic, but I am now 27 wks and baby M is looking well and kicking up a storm.
I think you're doing the right thing by grieving for your lost baby, and I know that in time you'll feel more confident about your pregnancy and begin to enjoy it.

I wish you all the best
Tams xxxxx

[Aliann09]

Thank you sooo much for sharing your experiances with me, I really feel a sense of comfort and it helps me to try and relax knowing that this seems to be more common and that I have a good shot for my other baby to make it. I know that right now I just need to focus on getting that other baby through. I go back to the OB next Tuesday and although I won't feel great about everything I know that I will feel better than I do right now I just really want to know that the other little guy is hanging on in there.

Lynne, I am so happy that you are doing so well that is fantastic, you will have to let me know what you are having when you find out.

Tams, wow 27wks that seem like an eternity for me right now but keeping my fingers crossed that I get there. The girl who did you scan was wise to inform you of such chances. I have said over and over the last few days that with a 25% chance that this is a possiblity I wish that the RE would have mentioned that and I would not have been so over zelous and as excited I would have paced myself.

Thanks, Ali

[Tams]

Ali, I'm not sure which pregnancy thread you're in but I'll keep a look out - before you know it you'll be at 27 wks! The first twelve weeks crawls by as you take each day at a time, but suddenly you're 16 wks, then 20, then in the last trimester.
All the best with your appointment next Tuesday, make sure you take all your questions with you so you don't forget any when you're in there and don't leave until you feel all your nagging worries have been addressed. I needed a lot of hand holding at the start of this pregnancy so don't be afraid to ask, a good doctor will recognise that and allay your fears as best they can. I remember being especially concerned about the second sac but it didn't cause any proeblems, simply re-absorbed as they said it would.

XXXX Tams