AMERICAN GIRLS

[Jen1d]

Hi

Need some advice please.

I have just had yet another bfn. We have now dont 6 ivf and still no baby

We are now going to look into adoption but in Scotland there are very few babies and a long waiting list.

I wondered how i go about adopting in America. I know there are some agencies who work with the birth mothers until the birth of their babies then hand them over to the adopting parents. How does this work?

Do you know any agencies who work with girls like me, from abroad?
Is there an easier way of doing it rather than an agency?
How much does it cost?

My husband and i have so much love to share, we would be so grateful for any advice.

Thanks for your help

Jen x

[lolajones]

Hey Jen

Not american but have been looking into this a bit myself.
Don't know if its the same in scotland as it is in England but from what I know you go through the process of being assessed as an adopter here first. When you've got your Certificate of Eligibility to adopt you then approach the country of your choice. Each country has its own rules and process about adopting from that country and what they require - from what I gather, you join a reputable agency from that country and pay fees. Useful websites are www.baaf.org.uk - british association for adoption and fostering, www.oah.org.uk - overseas adoption helpline, http://www.rainbowkids.com, www.adoption.com.
It seems Texas is a popular pace to adopt from?

How're you doing? I've been thinking of you lots
Take care Jen
Lola
xxxxxx

[Jen1d]

Thanks Loops

Never felt so low and so crap in all my ivf life.

Cant seem to pull myself up. I know its early days but i cant see ivf ever working for us now.

I know we have 2 more embies but i just feel its a waste of time putting them back as the result will come back the same.

Never thought i would have a list of neg results beside my name when i joined this forum. All the Dr and consultants kept saying "its only your tubes so ivf will work for you"--so much for their crap eh.

Thanks for your help

Love Jen x

[melinda:)]

hi jen1d

i have been reading your post and i was just wondering if you have had your tubes removed!!!!i also have had bilateralhydrosalping and in july ihad both of my tubes removed!!this is my 1st ivf and i have my er on oct 16!!!!!

good luck!!
melinda

[2ndtimer]

Hi Jen1d,
I'm very sorry to hear about your bad luck with IVF. I've had 2 cycles of ivf so far without success. Inbetween the 1st & 2nd cycle we looked into adoption. It's very, very expensive in the US & also most adoptions in the US are now open adoptions from what I understand. Parents looking to adopt an american baby can expect to pay $30 thousand or more for a baby and wait times can exceed 2 years. Then you have to stay in touch with the birth mother. Of course if you're willing to adopt an older child or handicapped child, there are plenty of children & the price is lower. Sometimes people get lucky & a friend of a friend knows a pregnant girl looking to adopt.
My husband & I started looking into adopting from China. Some of our friends did & their daughter is a great kid. In 2004 when we first looked into it, the wait time was around 6 to 8 months after the paper work was received. In 2006, when we got serious about it the wait time went up to around 2 years. Then we decided to give IVF another try instead.
I want to wish you the best of luck. I know how you feel. I dont' think America is going to work out for you.
2ndtimer

[Angie65]

hi Jen1

I can't help you on the adoption but just wanted to say I am sorry for the bad time you have had. You will get through this though.

Take care, from another IVF veteran (on 2ww following transfer No.5)

[Jen1d]

Thank you all for replying.

Called social work dept about adoption, this morning. They said it takes at least 6 months then could be over a year--but cant say how long--to find a child. She said its a lengthy process and there are no babies. The parents fight to keep the babies and after several court appearances, if they fail then the child is already about 1yr then has to be matched with a couple. There are older children, but we dont want 6,7,8 year olds.

They are not really interested about internatinal adoption either, but i knew this. They try to waffle a bit but have picked the wrong person, told her i work in the social work dept and know about a lot of it. Anyway they will send the info then whoever comes to speak to us will give us info. To be honest, adoption is not really at the top of our list, we want to have our own but if its the only way to get a child then we are now considering it.

Angie - good luck for the 25th and thanks for your kind wishes.

2ndtimer - just what i thought about america. My cousin works with young pregnant girls in Chicago so its worth emailing him, might be a girls who wants to adopt to us.

Melinda - yep i had a bilateral salpingectomy, both tubes removed. They said they were my only problem and once removed we would have a much higher chance of a pos---hasnt worked either. Then i used younger eggs---still hasnt worked. Good luck with your cycle.

Love Jen x