the newcome

[karenkirwan]

Hi everyone,<br>I'm new to this site & am just sorry I didn't discover it earlier. I am in two minds about trying another treatment after 3 failed ICSI's not to mention the 5 year other wasted treatments. I'm 33 now and married 6 years and I never seem to make to the dday pregnancy date after embryo transfer, I always bleed after day 7!! I am trying to convince myself now that I don't want children & maybe I wouldn't be a good mum anyway & have actually taken myself off the waiting lists. Half of me wants to have another go but I would prefer a donor sperm although the hospital seem dead against even though the husband is all for it. He is only 29 and already has a 10yr old daughter from a previous relationship which frankly is killing me. There isn't a day I don't think about wanting to be a mum but I'm beginning to feel that I am loosing the battle. I am that desperate that his 2 brothers offered to help to donate sperm but my mum is totally against the idea along with my GP. Is there anyone else out there think that I'm loosing it?

[fiona_lk]

Hi Karen,<br><br>I say 'sod off' to every one else, and do what you want. The battle is easier to fight with the friends on this site, so don't give up hope.<br><br>It sounds like you could do with giving yourself some time out - do you see your dh's child? If so, why not arrange to go for a massage or facial (or something equally relaxing for you) next time she's visiting - make sure you let your dh knows why you want to do it, and try and get his blessing. There is only so much one can take.<br><br>As for age - well, at 33 you've got a while yet, I'm 35 and still hopeful.<br><br>The donor choice is a hard one in itself without the 'who' being involved - I opted for anonymous, because I felt it could create conflicts having a biological father around we know.<br><br>We all know here the heartache that comes with the failures, but what joy if it is successful? You have to ask yourself whether 3 attempts are all you really want to go for if there are no other obstacles (like money, for many unlucky people).<br><br>Sorry I can't give you all the answers, but hopefully I've said some things which might focus your thoughts and make them less destructive to you.<br><br>Take Care<br><br><br>Fiona

[beck]

hello karen,<br>WELCOME!!!!<br>i agree with fiona sod everyone, you to do what you want to do its not there bodies or there minds that have to go through it all.......what nice brother inlaws you have!!<br>if you need a chat when your low always post a message.....someone will reply HONEST!<br>good luck karen let us know what you decide wont you<br>beck xx

[fiona_lk]

Hi Karen,<br><br>Last night in bed, my head was buzzing after our chat room discussions, and my mind turned to your posting - you must be terribly lonely and confused - I do feel for you.<br><br>I'm a born problem solver and have a good job where I do this all the time with lateral thinking. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I hope you won't be offended with my suggestion below - just think of it as an IT geeks ramblings of bedtime thoughts ....<br><br>Perhaps you can look at having a sperm sample made up of a mix of your husbands AND your 2 b-in-l's sperm. This way, there is no telling who is the biological father - and it could, by some miracle (and believe me I know they happen) could be your hubbys. Even a DNA test would be hard pushed to prove otherwise. Its possible you'd have to pay for the sperm sample preparation, even if other treatment is on NHS - and you'll have to check with HFEA if it is allowable - or more to the point not un-allowable (if you know what I mean).<br><br>Anyway, got to go solve more probs at work.<br><br>Take Care<br><br><br><br>Fiona xxx