1st IVF,BFN, I'm devastated. desperate for positive thoughts

[nali1278]

to anyone out there who can say something to make me feel better...had my pg test scheduled for today but I already knew the results because I got my period last night. I thought I was prepared for disappointment - after all I've been TTC for 2.5 years with no luck, so I should know what it feels like - but nothing could have prepared me for how upset I was (and still am). I know this is just my first IVF and many of you have conceived on your 3rd, 4th or higher attempts, and I am going in for a FET after giving myself one month's break....but I still feel so low. DH is totally supportive and I don't know what I would do without him...but would love to hear comforting words and positive thoughts from anyone out there.

[cookinggirl]

I am sorry about your results. I know how difficult it must be. This is my 2nd IVF cycle. The first one was canceled before I even did the trigger shot. I was devistated when I got that call. All I can say is that the sun will rise again tomorrow morning. As hard as this is for you right now it means that it you do decide to go through with IVF again they will really monitor you and have a better idea or how to help you. Its hard but think of this last round as the trial round. The docs needed to practice before they could make it perfect and next time will be perfect! So keep your chin up and get yourself in shape, healthy and ready for your next cycle.
Good luck!

[valerie68]

I'm sorry to hear about your BFN, although you should wait until your beta today to be sure. I just had a chemical pregnancy 2 weeks ago and it hit me hard as well. I'm still dealing with the pain but I also decided that it was in my best interest to keep a very positive attitude to give me the best chances for a BFP the next time. I'm already planning my schedule and accomplishing everything possible that I won't be able to do once pregnant on this next cycle. If you set up your mind in advance that you ARE going to be pregnant and truly believe that you will, I believe that helps a lot.
Give yourself time to grieve, time to reconstruct your body and your mind and have it ready for your FET.
You're very young still and have time on your side. Many of us do not get pregnant on the first try and we just have to stay strong and positive that it will work.
Take advantage of this board and let it give you strength and hope and a shoulder to cry on if you need to.
I'm starting acupuncture next week and I do believe that will help a lot. Some girls on the board have done it and have gotten pregnant. Meditation is also a wonderful relaxing experience. If you haven't done any of that, it might be something that you find helpful.
Best of luck, I hope you will feel better soon.

Big hug for you

Valerie

[jenniferdp]

I am so sorry about your results. I know how you feel having been through 3 cycles - all BFN.

All I can say is have faith and if you know in every cell inyour being that you ar emeant to be amtoher - you WILL BE A MOTHER!

My last attempt was about 6 months ago, we took a bit of a break b/c I felt like we get trapped in this cycle of continually getting back on that horse but sometimes our bodies are stuck in this "BFN zone" and we need a break to clear out the hormones and the neagtive energy from our body. I also started chinese herbs and accupuncture - which I LOVE.

We are attempting our 4th IVF cycle in July and I KNOW I will be pregnant this time.

Best of luck to you -

Jennifer

[Samara1]

Nali...I am so very sorry.

I agree with the PP. This first cycle is an opportunity for your Drs to see how you respond to meds. A lot can change between cycles.

Many women have success with FET cycles over Fresh. Ghost has commented on the benefits to the uterine lining of a non-medicated cycle.

The one thing that has helped me after failed cycles was to begin planning the next. DH and I also talked about what we would do if IVF did not work in the long run. For me it helped to think that IVF was not the last resort. Although I do believe that you will get your BFP very soon.

I hope this helps. I am in Melbourne too, please know that someone not to far away is thinking of you, and wishing you all the very best.

xxx

[nali1278]

thank you, all you beautiful ladies, so much for your wonderful thoughts. I do feel much better, and DH and I have started talking about our next cycle. I do feel very sorry for him too - often partners can get neglected in the whole ivf process. I'm actually relieved that I'm going to be off the drugs for a whole month or more, and we're going to see our doctor again in 2 weeks time just to have a chat about what's going to happen next etc. Once again, thank you ladies SO much...you don't know how much better I feel now after reading your messages. I have been talking to some of my friends, but none of them are going through ivf and all of them have babies/kids, so they don't really understand what I'm going through. But I will (as all of you do) stay positive, and I know I will get through this just fine
xxx

[Dri-Jim]

Nali,

I'm very sorry to hear it wasn't your time this time. I don't know your belief system, but mine tells me that things happen in God's time and not ours. He decides what is best for us and when it will be best to Bless us. I am sure He will prepare you for your time. Probably when you least expect it.

Keep smiling.

Jim

[stressball]

Hi,

I surely know what you are feeling right now...I was there last year...it took me almost an year to heal....I did my second and I am 5 weeks pregnant now.....the thing is nobody knows why some ivf fails and some not....all you can do is TRY TRY TRY......