it was negative

Kat · Post by **Kat** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 8:03 pm

this is the post i didn't want to write. you have all been so kind and i just feel like I have let everyone down. I got a negative again. I really thought this time it was going to work. I know it'll feel better tomorrow and i know I'll soon be ready to start again but right now I just want to curl up somewhere and make it all go away and go back to yesterday when I could pretend I was pregnant. I hate making Rick cry and i have done it again, I think he's more upset this time, we both thought we had a better chance than before but we were wrong Kat x

Lisa_P · Post by **Lisa_P** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 8:11 pm

Kat so sorry to hear your news. It must be really difficult for you and dh, but as you said, you'll soon be back ready to try again. Love Lisa

Grace · Post by **Grace** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 8:14 pm

Dearest Kat I am truly sorry it has n't worked out for you this time. Of course you have n't left anyone down. You are a strong, brave and lovely woman and it is n't fair. You will feel horrible now and for the next few days but I can detect your strength even now, and you will be back to fight on. You and Rick have a good cry together the two of you will get through it together. Thinking of you Gracexxxx

kathryn · Post by **kathryn** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 8:16 pm

oh kat , Im so so sorry, but PLEASE dont say you feel youve let everyone down, you havent let anyone down, the last thing you need is to be hard on yourself. I wish I could make things right for you, Im just so sorry for you and rick, You have been through so much and you so dont deserve this. This is just so unfair. thinking of you both take the very best care of each other, lots of love and a HUGE hug kat, kathryn x we are all here for you kat x

Wibbs · Post by **Wibbs** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 8:18 pm

Oh Kat.............. What can I say....you have been so positive to others, I thought surely this was your turn for some ++++vibes. I'm truly gutted for you and DH. Give each other a great big hug xxx. Please don't give up, have faith. This is not helping you at the moment but in time it will. sending you a big hug.....

Love Wibbs xxxx

phil · Post by **phil** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 8:20 pm

kat, we've not 'talked' before but i just want to say that i am so sorry to hear your result. i know from experience how very hard it hits you both, and then how painful it is to see and feel your partners grief too. i know that nothing i say can make this time easier but my thoughts are with you both. best wishes phil.

Dagny · Post by **Dagny** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 9:35 pm

Hi Kat We also have not talked before but hearing your news today is so sad. We all try to be positive and then it all coms crashing down. I am so sorry. Have a jolly big cry and have a quiet weekend. Things will get better. Take care Love Dagny x

JackieT · Post by **JackieT** » Fri Oct 03, 2003 10:35 pm

kat i just don't know what to say! i really thought you were going to get a positive result, you have been so strong and positive throughout all this roller-coaster, and already you are thinking ahead, to go again. i am sure your DH is not feeling YOU have let him down, so .. you have to believe this also. it's not your fault!! you must be in bits, try to give yourself time for all those drugs to come out of your system now{another roller-coaster}. look after each other talk soon love jackieT xxx

SJ BROWN · Post by **SJ BROWN** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 7:01 am

Kat Im really sorry to read your news. I know exactly how you feel about just wanting to curl up and rewind, I felt exactly the same when I tested neg. last friday........ Dont feel like you have let anyone down, there is nothing you could have done differently, IVF is just one big lottery except the stakes are a lot higher...... Spend some quality time together & prepare yourself for next time, you sound like a strong person & am sure you will get your dream one day Chin up & maybe speak to you next time!! Sarah xx

Nikola · Post by **Nikola** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 8:14 am

Dear lovely kat, I'm so so sorry. Life is just not fair. As everyone has already said, you haven't let anyone down, you couldn't have done anything different. IVF can play some really mean tricks and for some people their strength is tested a lot more than others. You need to take as much time to grieve and get yourself back together. Once you have your strength back you'll be able to cope with everything and consider another go, in the meantime just take the time to be together. Big big hugs from me. love nikola.xx ps Here for you if you need me!!

Kat · Post by **Kat** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 10:28 am

Thanks to everyone for all your kind words. I know it's not my fault but there have been so many +ves lately that it feels like I must have done something wrong to get a -ve again. I know that's stupid but that's how I feel. My little sister rang me last night from Africa to find out the result and bless her she really doesn't understand but she tries so hard and I so wanted to be able to tell her it was +ve. That's why it feels like I let everyone down. It was all down to me and everyone was waiting for me to tell them good news and I didn't. I'm sorry I'm getting upset again now, I'll come back later Kat xx

Wibbs · Post by **Wibbs** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 11:36 am

KAT Have a good old cry,.....belive me we all have a cry when one of us gets a _ve,( I do everytime) and some of us +ve feel guilty for those -ve left behind, knowing what a struggle it has been and the strain emoitionaly it is for everyone. But you have to be strong pick yourselves up and dust yourself down and don't let this beat you. Take some time out with dh and have a great big fat glass of wine. You both deserve it. We all will be watching for future postings for you. Take care Big Hug Wibbs xxxxx

Clara 1 · Post by **Clara 1** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 1:52 pm

Dear Kat Oh, I'm so so sorry. I really hoped it would work for you this time, after going through the last cycle with you. I know all you want to do is give people good news, and hopefully hopefully next time you will. Take your time, you and Rick must have had such an emotional summer. Really look after yourselves, God knows, you deserve to pamper yourselves rotten. Maybe we'll be cycle buddies again Lots of love to you and Rick Claire x

Dawn Blake · Post by **Dawn Blake** » Sat Oct 04, 2003 4:53 pm

Kat Can't tell you how sorry I was to read your post. Don't think for one milisecond that you have let anyone down, or that you did anything wrong. Unfortunately it doesn't get easier getting a negative, but please please please give it time and try again, your wishes WILL come true! Lots of love and a very big hug to both you and Rick, D x

SQUEW · Post by **SQUEW** » Sun Oct 05, 2003 9:42 am

Hi Kat I replied to you on Fri night but for some strange reason it doesnt appear to be on here. Anyway, I was really sorry to hear your news and just wished I could give you a hug. I have since seen your other post and am really glad you are starting to feel +ve again. I understand totally how you feel re letting people down, when it failed for me I found their dissapointment made me feel even worse. We havent let anyone down, in fact they should be proud of us as we were brave enough to try. This time I have only told my best friend, no one else knows, not work, families etc. This has been hard too and I dont know which is worse. Get that holiday booked(I have one lined up too!), relax and get ready to try again! Really hope you are feeling better now, take care. Sue xx

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