Self-weaning and IVF - dilemma

[PMApsy]

Hi!

I called a fertility pharmacist and my clinic, and I now have more info about IVF meds and breasfeeding. The doctors at my clinic recommend to stop breastfeeding before attempting an FET or an IVF. It's the downregging meds that are the problem...

...but that creates a dilemma. DH will turn 40 next year and he doesn't want to wait too long before we try for #2. For now, he agreed that we stop trying at the end of 2010 or so. I thought that gave us plenty of time for an FET, an IVF and another FET if we need to, but...

While reading on weaning breastfeeding, I quickly realized that natural weaning might be the best option for my son, both physically and psychologically. Plus, in case IVF doesn't work again, I want to enjoy breastfeeding to its full extent, and of course I want to "do things right", not rush things unnecessarily. Checking a few polls on forums, I saw that natural weaning can occur between 6-7 months to 5 years of age... I already sensed that most people feel uneasy or judgemental seeing a mother nurse a child past 3 months, 6 months or 12 months. But I'm not too concerned about that. I'm more concerned about having another child while respecting both my son and husband's limits.

In an ideal world, I'd like to do my FET around April next year. My son would be 11 months old. Now I know that chances are that he won't have self-weaned by then...

Any advice?

Thanks in advance,

Sophie

[riogirl71]

HI Sophie!

Looks like we are on the same boat! Our boy is now 9 months old, and he is breastfed. Exclusively until 6 months old then we started baby food and now finger food. Since your boy is still young don't make the same mistake I made. I gave my guy a few bottles here and there with bmilk and he took them fine, then I thought, great he takes bottles if we need him to so I will stop for now because I don't want him to just want bottles and not breast... well little did I know he would end up refusing a bottle at all costs!!! Yes! I have to bfeed him every couple of hours and when you have to work it becomes complicated, so make sure yours has a bottle a few times a week so that in case you do want to wean him or something comes up, he will take a bottle.

So I am in the same dilemma, I want to do another IVF (we have no frosties) in January. Our son will be one year old in October. I want to try and wean him between now and November, I don't want to do a cold turkey cause I think it would be hard on him and on me too. So I want to give him enough foods and doctor said at 11 mos I can give him 1/2 formula and 1/2 milk (he hates the taste of formula) in a sippy cup but not a bottle! I love breastfeeding him and I am sure that has helped him not get sick often, one cold in 9 mos! If I had all the time int he world I would bfeed him until 2 or when he showed signs of not wanting it. I know it will be hard cause it really is a bonding time between mother and son and I really will miss the closeness.

I know it will be hard, some people I know their kids weaned themselves off at 6 or 9 months. My little guy loves to be bfed and will cry and scream and try and tear my tops off if I am even a little late feeding him so I know he is not ready to wean. I just hope that with introducing more foods, he will lose interest in the breast and I can skip a feeding, then skip 2 feedings and so on.

I am 38 and since my DH has sperm issues, I don't want to wait until I have issues with my eggs or something else comes up due to my age.

Let me know what you think!

[Warren Dew]

We had our first baby, by IVF, in June 2008 when my wife was 37. We would have preferred to let our daughter stay on breast milk as long as possible, but we couldn't really afford to keep our current insurance past this November. Since it took four tries last time around, we figured we'd better start trying for #2 at the beginning of this year.

What with delays in getting appointments, we ended up weaning our daughter at about 9 months. Then of course the IVF worked on the first try this time around. If we'd known that would happen, we would have waited a bit longer, but of course we didn't know.

We did have some frozen pumped breast milk, so we've been able to give her a couple ounces of real breast milk with her formula each day, though that runs out soon. We actually started giving her a little formula for the last month or so of breast feeding so we'd have pumped milk stored up. If you can handle pumping, see if you can pump a little extra even if your baby is still getting pure breast milk.

If we had had frosties, I think we would have tried to get them to do a naturally timed cycle while still breast feeding. My wife's period came back only a couple months after birth and was very solid by six months.

Other than that, it's just a difficult judgement call, I think. We'd like to try for #3 eventually if we can, but I think we will first let #2 breast feed for as long as he or she wants first, then see where we are.