Infertility in more movies?

[Ghost]

Is it just me, or is infertility/IVF/IUI seen in more movies these days?

UP (wife loses fetus, can't have more, or so it seems)
The Back-up Plan (J Lo plays single mother who uses IUI to have children)
The Switch (Jennifer Aniston's character uses turkey baster to do IUI)
It's Complicated (Meryl Streep encounters ex-hubby Alec Baldwin leaving an IVF clinic)

Greater societal understanding and acceptance? Or the brunt of jokes? Where is society going with this?

[leorira11]

now if only they would show what it is like to go through several failed cycles...

I got a DVD of the Backup Plan - and then found out my cycle had failed. I still haven't watched it.
(also, I've heard she has twins, which is hard for me to see since I lost my twins at 22 wks - another thing that never happens in movies)

[Wondercat]

Don't forget about the classy Baby Mama - which shows a woman trying to conceive through IVF with a surrogate, but ends with the two women getting accidentally pregnant naturally. Sadly, most of these movies make a mockery of infertility and tend to portray the people seeking treatments as single, aging women who are comically desperate to conceive "before it's too late." It's interesting that the only movie to deal with the subject seriously and respectfully is the animated feature Up. (I love that movie!) I think as a whole society gets most of it's "information" (BIG quotes there) from our fabulous media, and so most people whose lives haven't been touched by infertility feel uncomfortable with it.

[jbird30]

All I can say is that I absolutely BAWLED during the first 20 minutes of Up!

... And then I had to hear it from my DH for days, because I had scoffed at the idea of watching a silly "cartoon" movie.

[Wondercat]

jbird30 - Did your DH actually like Up? I first watched it alone (so I could cry with impunity) one night while my husband was at work. I tried to watch it with my dad, and he literally just got up and left halfway through because it was "too sad." My husband admitted to crying when he watched it. At a family dinner my mom, sister, and I all said we loved it while my dad and husband said that it was just unbelievably sad and depressing and they would never watch it again. I think men might not like it because it's basically about a man who feels that he wasn't able to give his wife the life he thought she deserved, so it would tend to make men anxious thinking about if they are making their wives happy.

[Ghost]

Don't forget about the classy Baby Mama - which shows a woman trying to conceive through IVF with a surrogate, but ends with the two women getting accidentally pregnant naturally. Sadly, most of these movies make a mockery of infertility and tend to portray the people seeking treatments as single, aging women who are comically desperate to conceive "before it's too late." It's interesting that the only movie to deal with the subject seriously and respectfully is the animated feature Up. (I love that movie!) I think as a whole society gets most of it's "information" (BIG quotes there) from our fabulous media, and so most people whose lives haven't been touched by infertility feel uncomfortable with it.

Infertility needs a good drama, not just comedies.

[lt81]

it seems to be coming up on TV shows a LOT lately, either that or I'm just more attuned to it. In the UK there's a show called Mistresses where one girl is about to start a 2nd round of IVF and can't afford it so has taken a loan from a friend and from the US show Big Love (only just seen Season 4 now) one of the wives has been told she is infertile so is being put on some meds but the details are all v. sketchy as to what process she is going through (ssh, don't give it away, I have a few more episodes to watch!).

I agree that generally films show either (1) career driven women that have left it too late or (2) baby obsessed crazy women who make sex a chore for their husbands in trying to conceive. It seems that generally media portrays IVF as something that always succeeds - certainly my friends have had very limited understanding of the process and likelihood of success.

[TammyS]

Facing the Giants was a terrific inspirational movie that deals with infertility and never giving up ...whether it is a football game or life.

If you havent seen it...you should. DH and I both cry every time we watch it. It is not just another football movie...it is so much more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zciqppDGzGo

[jbird30]

Wondercat - he did really like it - and he handled it better than I did! I literally turned to him 15 minutes in, sobbing, and asked (in desperation) if it was ever going to stop being so sad (he had seen it before.) Talk about being slapped with a dose of reality right out of the gate! I was not prepared at all. I think I was on Clomid at the time, getting ready to do an IUI. It really was a beautiful movie, not sure that I could handle it now though at all... I'm tearing up just thinking about it!

[Heidi67]

There's also Couple's Retreat.
UP definitly was one of the better ones, even though it made me cry. While IVF is still mostly in the closet, more celebs like Brooke Shields and Celine Dion are talking about it. Unfortunately it not something I can talk about with most of my friends.

[leorira11]

speaking of Celine Dion...

a friend who does NOT know about our trials and tribulations with IVF commented when she heard that Celine Dion was pregnant - "FIVE IVFs? Why would someone do FIVE IVFs?"...

I just found out that I'm pregnant after my FOURTH transfer... Five doesn't seem so crazy... (for the record... I'm 24 years old TTC our first living child - not 42 like Celine Dion)

It's nice that celebrities can raise awareness - but how about a little awareness for those of us under the age of 30 dealing with IVF? I constantly get told, when I share about our IVF, "What? You are only 24! IVF is for older women"... there is a lot of misinformation in the media

[Wondercat]

Tammy - I will have to check out Facing the Giants.

jbird - Yes, hormones and sad movies do not mix well. When I was 8 months pregnant I watched "Marley & Me" for the first time, close to one year after putting down our beloved pit/lab mix who had prostate cancer - the dog who was in our wedding pictures and who I had always envisioned playing fetch with the kids we weren't able to have soon enough for him. Even though I had read the book and should have been prepared I was bawling so hard by the end I gave myself an epic nosebleed. And now I'm tearing up. Great!

Heidi - Sorry to hear you aren't able to talk about the IVF with your friends. That's why this board is so great!

Leorira - I agree that not enough people realize the many different types of women who are effected by infertility. I was 26 when we started with IVF, and despite the fact that I had been with my husband for 7 years (married for 3) we had a lot of people give us a hard time for being "too young." We could be any age - it wouldn't matter because my husband has no vas deferens. So NO, IVF is NOT just for "older women." In fact, we considered even more vital to start young because now we are just dealing with male infertility issues. Why would we wait until I was older and compound the problem? I am already starting to get the same kind of ovarian cysts that caused my mother to get a hysterectomy in her mid-40's, so waiting does not seem like a good idea. And if you wait too long people are even more judgmental! Exasperating.

[rosecam]

I'm new to these boards. I saw one well done drama involving infertility, miscarriage and adoption: Then She Found Me. I saw it before I was even dealing with IF treatments and it made me cry then, so only watch it if you're willing to be a mess, but it's good.

[lou71]

I watched Marley and Me alone by myself when I was 9 weeks pregnant. Jennifer Aniston's character finds out on ultrasound at 9 weeks that there is no heartbeat. It scared me so much. Then 3 weeks later, the same thing happened to me. And let's not even get to the end where the dog freakin' dies!!!! If you haven't seen the movie... don't, it's sad.

Also, don't forget Brothers and Sisters where Kevin, the gay brother, and his partner are using an egg donor, and a surrogate to conceive. I think that's pretty cool actually. Because lord knows it's nearly impossible for gay men couples to adopt! I love that show. Sally Field is still adorable. I come from a very small family. Only child, both parents deceased. So I always tell DH I would love to be a Walker kid! I'd take it, drama and all.

[siouxsie]

TV comedy 30Rock also has fertility episodes, so far I think mostly adoption-based.

I am aware social stigma, but try to combat by being very open. I had thought I was pretty open, but DH is REALLY open and pretty much tells everyone we did IVF. At first, it was a little embarrassing, but now I realize the wisdom and try too spread the message also by being really upfront as well.

We started at TTC at 34 and had a healthy daughter with IVF 5 years later, I wish someone told me to start earlier.

Can you imagine someone acting like that for cancer treatment?