Trying for baby number 2...

[brit1612]

Anyone out there going to be trying for number 2 or more? We had our miracle little boy a year ago and have always planned to try with our left over donor embryos this summer. We are both teachers, so we don't make too much money. We knew how crazy expensive all the treatment was, but I don't think we fully understood the financial changes we would go through after having a baby. What I am getting at is, can we afford another baby??? We very much want our little boy to have a sibling, and since my hubby is over 40 we don't feel like we can wait long before trying again. Anyone else in this position? We don't want to be irresponsible financially, but also would love to expand our family.

[riogirl71]

Hi brit, we spent over $45,000 out of pocket for IVF, took paycuts, but we decided now was the time to have another baby, yes it is expensive but I was turning 40 and things were not going to get better. Sometimes you just have to do it and manage. I think that is something I would always kick myself and regret if I didn't try. I was an only child and really wanted our son to have a sibling. I hope it all works out for you guys, it is financially hard but I have hope that it will get better!!! Try to get hand me downs or garage sale items to help.

Best of luck!

[deftonesmo]

Brit--I'm a teacher too, so all our IVF has been out of pocket . . . we borrowed some $$$ from our parents and cashed in some stocks . . . I've also heard that there are clinical trials you can join that might reduce the cost, as well as taking out low-interest loans on credit cards and borrowing from 403b/401K . . . I always figured I could always buy a house, etc. at any time, but having kids was a small window in my life . . . I didn't want to have any regrets and wanted to put forth my best effort . . . not sure what will happen, but I feel at peace knowing that I did what I could do =) Good luck =)

[Happy Bunny]

We're going to try for a second baby after this one is born. We lived below our means and saved for a few IVFs before I stopped working during this pregnancy.

[brit1612]

Thanks for responding everyone. It is not so much the cost of the procedure, but more the idea of bringing someone into the world when we are already really tight financially. Considering we went through 6 cycles, with no insurance coverage, we haven't exactly been able to save anything. I know we would regret not trying, and I'm sure that we will at some point. The question is should we wait? If we did wait would we even be in any better shape??? I know there is no great answer, just needed to talk about it. I have been thinking a lot lately about wanting our little guy to have a sibling. Thanks again!

[deftonesmo]

there's always embryo adoption, international/domestic adoption, or egg donation if you want to wait a few years . . . of course, as we girls get older, our fertility decreases, so time is of the essence sometimes . . . tough call either way, but I'm sure you'll do what's right for your family =)

[riogirl71]

I also think that the smaller the age difference the closer they might be to each other.

[MamaBoo]

From what I read of your posts, you have donor embies left over and are considering when you should use them - right away or wait a few years and hopefully be in a better financial situation. Everyone is different. However, since you are using donor embies, your age and your husband's age does not matter as much. My husband was 46 when our son was born, and will be 48 when this one is born. Waiting is a possiblity, however, you will be pushing retirement when they are in college. Unfortunately, there is no clear cut answer. Good luck with your decision.

[katieb1231]

Hi Brit - I am in the same boat we have a our DD that we adore & we have wanted to give her a sibling and tried twice this winter with a MC both times. We now have 4 frost babies left and are deciding what to do with them. With the two failed cycles we have stopped to ask ourselves what would it be like to have two could we afford it? Could we afford to put them both through college or buy them cars or buy them whatever they need? I am really thinking hard about it now since we had 2 just recently we are wondering is this someone's way of telling us to stop? It is expensive to have kiddo's but I think we just need to decide what we want to do for ourselves & for our daughter. It is such a hard decision & such a personal decision for each family. I live in Utah where huge families are the norm and I always wonder how do they afford that?? It is a tough one & good luck with it......we are deciding the same thing right now.........we have tentatively put ourselves on the schedule for August but we have not decided yet.

[jenice]

My personal opinion is that there isn't anything better to give your child but a sibling. I rather of had siblings than a car or even college paid for me. Both of course I never had paid for me either I didn't want my DD by herself when someday DH and I will be gone. I wanted her to have family to spend holidays with and have each others kids to play with. I know it might seem sappy but I feel that is the best thing I could of given her ever I have been lucky we did pay for some IVF but not much @ all compared to other women on here, so I understand the financial aspect is very concerning. I still wonder about trying for # 3 someday, I just had # 2 six weeks ago. I have time cause of having a c-section have to wait. Good luck with your decision

[Happy Bunny]

Does anyone know what are the recommended turn around times for vaginal birth? C-section?

[deftonesmo]

depends . . . whether or not you tear, etc.

vaginal birth is a quicker turn around . . . I was in the hopsital for 2 days while my friend was in for 5 days with a c-section . . . she also couldn't drive for 6 weeks . . .

[LYD10]

Does anyone know what are the recommended turn around times for vaginal birth? C-section?

what do you mean turn around time? i had a c-section and had a fairly easy recovery. but had to wait 6 weeks before starting to exercise. i think v-birth is much quicker recovery - matter of days. my little guy was "sunny side up" and i stopped dilating at 9cm - 1 cm short of getting him out.

we are trying for #2 right now - we already have everything the crib, the toys, the clothes left over from the first one - i would love to get to use them again - hate to see them being used only once.

[Happy Bunny]

Does anyone know what are the recommended turn around times for vaginal birth? C-section?

what do you mean turn around time? i had a c-section and had a fairly easy recovery. but had to wait 6 weeks before starting to exercise. i think v-birth is much quicker recovery - matter of days. my little guy was "sunny side up" and i stopped dilating at 9cm - 1 cm short of getting him out.

we are trying for #2 right now - we already have everything the crib, the toys, the clothes left over from the first one - i would love to get to use them again - hate to see them being used only once.

Sorry for being unclear... I mean how quickly can you have another IVF attempt after having a baby.

[deftonesmo]

my re said nine months...