Hi Everyone,
This is my first time on an IVF blog. Today i got my 4th negative pregnancy test back after IVF. It was the second time we did an egg retrieve. 9 eggs where collected, 3 turned in to embryo's who where transferred exactly 12 days ago into my womb. And they where not there to stay.. Every time the sadness hits me hard and it feels like i "failed" the little ones and that i was not able to create a save comfortable place for them where they could grow into little baby's...
I am 27 and my husband is turning 34 in one week! I love him very much and i am very proud how he is handling the whole roller coaster that is called IVF. 1.5 years ago i found out that both my fallopian tubes where damaged by a very big infection that i have had as a 5 year old. After a big surgery in january 2010 we know that there was nothing else to try then IVF. It took another year before we did our first cycle. 11 eggs where retrieved and 6 embryo's where created. We returned them 2 by 2 in january, march and may. Then we took a break for a love-trip to paris! So nice to NOT be busy with getting pregnant for a little while.
Last month we started again, full of hope and power. I know in my heart that we will be ok. But MAN i really find i devastating to get a negative test result back after all the investment. I was very soar after the egg retrieval for a couple of days and to know that i need to go through that again.. sigh.. I also find it very difficult to combine the procedure with my "other" life, my goals, my wishes and dreams. I am feeling so young but so out of ignorant at the same time..
Today is a hard day, but that is ok,
Love and may all our wishes come true, Jasmin.