We have just got back from spending christmas with my family - I am glad to say it was better than I thought. My family were their usual kind and loving selves and I think they understood that sometimes I smiled and sometimes I cried!
New year ripped my heart out as I knew it would. I have spent too many New years praying that this year will be the one - so I knew having to face another would be upsetting, I knew this one would be worse though, knowing that there is no more treatment planned and that all hope for a baby is now gone was too depressing for words.
But still this is a new year and so I hope there will be a new kind of hope.
DH and I have made a different wish list this year - we have made promises to one another and made new goals but this time at least we know these are achievable and ARE within the realms of possibilty!
There is still so much to conquer (battling this depression and getting back to work wpould be a start!) and this road is so very long but at least today I have a "new start" kind of feeling and I hope that it lasts!
I have been thinking of you all and wondering how the holidays were for you. I lit my candle for you at mass on Christmas eve, I said a prayer looking at the crib and wished us all HOPE.
I look forward to seeing you all back on the board. I love the updated site - its so much more friendly!
Lorraine
