Hi everyone, I am new on this forum, don't even live in the UK, but feel so lonely in the middle of my second IVF, I hope someone will talk to me. have a busy job, no one at work knows I am doing this and my closest friends are all trying to get pregnant so i don't feel like talking to them about this. Had 1 IVf and one cycle with frozen embryos and got pregnant after the second but lost the baby at 7 weeks. have just recovered and started IVf 2 januari, this time only 6 folicules, 5 eggs and now today heard there were only 2 embryos this time. have to go for ET tomorrow but feel totally disappointed and discouraged. Any experiences with few embryos or anyone else, i can do with a couple of words of hope ... but having read messages on this board you all know this,
Juliana
new and lonely
hi julian
so sorry to hear what you have been through. Please try and stay positive lot's of girls on here have had fet and got pg. so do not give up hope you only need one and the strongest two are ready for you to look after for the next 2 weeks and I hope beyond...
doing ivf is so hard as only people who have been through it fully understand. the girls on here are great and anythime you need to let of steam I will be here. All my close friends have gone on to get pg while I have been trying for the lasy 4 year's. I try not to give up hope as i'm sure it will work soon..
I find I try and take one day at a time and deal with what is happening now and try not to think too far ahead.
well I hope you feel better soon but i'm here if you need me.
from july ann
so sorry to hear what you have been through. Please try and stay positive lot's of girls on here have had fet and got pg. so do not give up hope you only need one and the strongest two are ready for you to look after for the next 2 weeks and I hope beyond...
doing ivf is so hard as only people who have been through it fully understand. the girls on here are great and anythime you need to let of steam I will be here. All my close friends have gone on to get pg while I have been trying for the lasy 4 year's. I try not to give up hope as i'm sure it will work soon..
I find I try and take one day at a time and deal with what is happening now and try not to think too far ahead.
well I hope you feel better soon but i'm here if you need me.
from july ann
Hi there
Poor you - what a nightmare the whole thing is. But there is no need to feel lonely - just come on here and moan with us!
I have had one failed ICSI and having another go in MArch.
I wouldnt worry about only having 2 embies - You only need one to work. Have they said anything about quality? When is your ET?
A friend had NO embryos that developed well and they put 2 in- telling her - there no chance but we may as well see what happens - shes expecting in 2 weeks! Sometime miracles DO happen.
Where are you based in not in UK?
Try to keep positive - hard as it is - and keep comin on here!
Take care
Cazx
Poor you - what a nightmare the whole thing is. But there is no need to feel lonely - just come on here and moan with us!
I have had one failed ICSI and having another go in MArch.
I wouldnt worry about only having 2 embies - You only need one to work. Have they said anything about quality? When is your ET?
A friend had NO embryos that developed well and they put 2 in- telling her - there no chance but we may as well see what happens - shes expecting in 2 weeks! Sometime miracles DO happen.
Where are you based in not in UK?
Try to keep positive - hard as it is - and keep comin on here!
Take care
Cazx
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Helen Reid
- Regular
- Posts: 276
- Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2003 3:58 pm
- Location: Ayrshire
Hi Juliana
you don,t need to feel lonely this site has given me help in the few months i have been on it and its shows your not alone.
Don,t let the fact that you only have two embryos make you feel disheartened. I had only one once when i had a fet and although it was unsucessful you have to think positive it can only take one to make you pg. The last ivf i went through i had 29 follicles but only 9 fertilised and they had to freeze them straight away. When i went for my fet only two were good enough. I am now 10 weeks and 2 days pg.
I have had a miscarriage and an eptopic this was my third go so don,t give up.
I hope this helps
Helen
you don,t need to feel lonely this site has given me help in the few months i have been on it and its shows your not alone.
Don,t let the fact that you only have two embryos make you feel disheartened. I had only one once when i had a fet and although it was unsucessful you have to think positive it can only take one to make you pg. The last ivf i went through i had 29 follicles but only 9 fertilised and they had to freeze them straight away. When i went for my fet only two were good enough. I am now 10 weeks and 2 days pg.
I have had a miscarriage and an eptopic this was my third go so don,t give up.
I hope this helps
Helen
hihi juliana
hope u read these replies before you ET trmw, one thing that is
so important is to try and be relaxed.
its so strange at the beginning of the treatment u start to feel
positive but as EC and ET date come closer u start worrying,
and in your case i can totally understand with jsut 2
embryos, but as all the girls say it just takes one to be that
little fighter, and dont forget in your case u know u can get
pregnant, just hold onto that thought.
good luck trmw, let us know how it went.
alisonn
hope u read these replies before you ET trmw, one thing that is
so important is to try and be relaxed.
its so strange at the beginning of the treatment u start to feel
positive but as EC and ET date come closer u start worrying,
and in your case i can totally understand with jsut 2
embryos, but as all the girls say it just takes one to be that
little fighter, and dont forget in your case u know u can get
pregnant, just hold onto that thought.
good luck trmw, let us know how it went.
alisonn
hope all goes well tomorrow.
Like many have said, try and stay positive - it only takes one egg and one sperm. I've never had more than about 3 eggs, never more than 2 fertilise (one cycle no luck, one preg but m/c at 8 weeks, now preg again at 30 wks!), but it can work. I know it's difficult to stay positive and it's easy to say, but please keep on the site - especially if it's your only outlet to talk - the people on here are brilliant and very supportive.
I'll think of your tomorrow and be sending you lots of positive vibes.
Take it easy
Zoe
Like many have said, try and stay positive - it only takes one egg and one sperm. I've never had more than about 3 eggs, never more than 2 fertilise (one cycle no luck, one preg but m/c at 8 weeks, now preg again at 30 wks!), but it can work. I know it's difficult to stay positive and it's easy to say, but please keep on the site - especially if it's your only outlet to talk - the people on here are brilliant and very supportive.
I'll think of your tomorrow and be sending you lots of positive vibes.
Take it easy
Zoe
Hey there,
Welcome to this fabulous site, as the girls have said thus far, it a great place to visit for support, advice, and to bolster you up a tad if you're feeling like the only person in the world going through this.
I don't live in the UK either, I'm an Australian chick (Brisbane based), but makes no difference on this site, our expereinces are universal, we can all relate to what you've been through and where you're going now.
I've always maintained that it just takes one egg and one sperm to get pregnant, we've seen so many miracles on this site, lots of women with only a few embies, and sometimes even crap quality, end up happily and healthily pregnant.
I've been through the miscarriage as well, is a lonely place.
Keep that chin up
Belinda :
Welcome to this fabulous site, as the girls have said thus far, it a great place to visit for support, advice, and to bolster you up a tad if you're feeling like the only person in the world going through this.
I don't live in the UK either, I'm an Australian chick (Brisbane based), but makes no difference on this site, our expereinces are universal, we can all relate to what you've been through and where you're going now.
I've always maintained that it just takes one egg and one sperm to get pregnant, we've seen so many miracles on this site, lots of women with only a few embies, and sometimes even crap quality, end up happily and healthily pregnant.
I've been through the miscarriage as well, is a lonely place.
Keep that chin up
Belinda :
Hi Juliana, Welcome to the board.
I'm so sorry to read about your loss and that you are feeling so lonely at the moment. You are in the right place - all the girls on the board are fantastic and you get so much support from people who understand what you are going through. I also feel lonely at points during treatment as we havn't told friends and family and I recently m/c at 8 weeks on my second attempt and found the support on here invaluable.
Try and stay positive. Lots of people have been successful with only 2 embryos (some with only 1) - so don't write it off yet.
And don't forget we are always here for you if you need someone to talk to.
Good luck with your ET today.
Dolly
I'm so sorry to read about your loss and that you are feeling so lonely at the moment. You are in the right place - all the girls on the board are fantastic and you get so much support from people who understand what you are going through. I also feel lonely at points during treatment as we havn't told friends and family and I recently m/c at 8 weeks on my second attempt and found the support on here invaluable.
Try and stay positive. Lots of people have been successful with only 2 embryos (some with only 1) - so don't write it off yet.
And don't forget we are always here for you if you need someone to talk to.
Good luck with your ET today.
Dolly
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bubblymichelle
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1960
- Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2003 11:16 am
- Location: West Midlands
Well you don't have to feel alone anymore now you have found us, we are all here for each other and will help you through the good and the bad times like we do everyone else. I just want to say welcome to the site and if you need to ask anything then fire away one of us should be able to help.
Well I had 2 embryo's that was suitable for implantation and I can say it worked for me, 1 didn't survive but I am now pregnant with one miracle baby on board. I am just waiting for the day now when I can hold he/she in my arms.
Good Luck with today.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Love
Shell.
39wks 1d pg
xx
Well I had 2 embryo's that was suitable for implantation and I can say it worked for me, 1 didn't survive but I am now pregnant with one miracle baby on board. I am just waiting for the day now when I can hold he/she in my arms.
Good Luck with today.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Love
Shell.
39wks 1d pg
xx
got courage for today
hi, hi, everyone, I did not know well where to find my replies and thought no one had replied, just one of those things you think when u feel so miserable as i did today but then i looked better and found all your encouraging messages and i felt better for the first time since yesterday. i alomost cried, it is such a relief to have some support from people who know how all this feels and I feel so stupid going on about it but cannot think of anything else. thanks so much for the encouragement everyone. I feel I should go with a positive attitude today and give these embryos the best possible chance.
i am based in the netherlands, from what I see on the site they do some things differently here. i have few complaints as they are generally good and we pay relatively little (at least for the fisrt 3 attempts), but my problem is the doctors always change (had a new one again at egg retrieval the other day and she seemed to be not very adept!) and they give very little information. i asked about ambryo quality yesterday but she said they still had to start dividing and could tell me nothing. i am so worried i can hardly focus on anything, another 4 hours to go. this story of the woman who got pregnant even though the doctors told her they were not good is a great source of hope though.
one question, many seem to be taking baby aspirin but I seem to remember reading somewhere aspirin increases the risk of miscarriage. should i take it or not, i guess i have to start today? and do people lie down on the day after ET or not (lucky it's saturday)
once again, thanks, everyone, sorry to go on like this!
i am based in the netherlands, from what I see on the site they do some things differently here. i have few complaints as they are generally good and we pay relatively little (at least for the fisrt 3 attempts), but my problem is the doctors always change (had a new one again at egg retrieval the other day and she seemed to be not very adept!) and they give very little information. i asked about ambryo quality yesterday but she said they still had to start dividing and could tell me nothing. i am so worried i can hardly focus on anything, another 4 hours to go. this story of the woman who got pregnant even though the doctors told her they were not good is a great source of hope though.
one question, many seem to be taking baby aspirin but I seem to remember reading somewhere aspirin increases the risk of miscarriage. should i take it or not, i guess i have to start today? and do people lie down on the day after ET or not (lucky it's saturday)
once again, thanks, everyone, sorry to go on like this!
Hi Juliana,
Sorry to hear you are feeling down i know all of us on here knows wxactly how you feel and i to just take one day at a time i'm currently waiting for my first ICSI cycle should not be to far away i hope, think if you look to far ahead it can all get to much. i totally understand about the friend thing they all get pregnant and we are left behind i am lucky i do have a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship but this doesnt stop the pain i want it for her to as well, one of my closest friends is pregnant and she knows my situation but she still goes on about her pregnancy and baby clothes and stuff i have sort of learnt to let it in one ear and straight out the other sounds a bit mean but if i took it all in i'd be more of an emotional mess than i am now friends dont understand they can't there not in our situation but we all help each other on here all the girls are great any time you need a moan we are all here for you
all my love and ++++++++++ vibes on there way to you
Love Ang
p.s you only need that one little embie to make your dream come true good luck hun thinking of you
Sorry to hear you are feeling down i know all of us on here knows wxactly how you feel and i to just take one day at a time i'm currently waiting for my first ICSI cycle should not be to far away i hope, think if you look to far ahead it can all get to much. i totally understand about the friend thing they all get pregnant and we are left behind i am lucky i do have a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship but this doesnt stop the pain i want it for her to as well, one of my closest friends is pregnant and she knows my situation but she still goes on about her pregnancy and baby clothes and stuff i have sort of learnt to let it in one ear and straight out the other sounds a bit mean but if i took it all in i'd be more of an emotional mess than i am now friends dont understand they can't there not in our situation but we all help each other on here all the girls are great any time you need a moan we are all here for you
all my love and ++++++++++ vibes on there way to you
Love Ang
p.s you only need that one little embie to make your dream come true good luck hun thinking of you
Hi Juliana
By the time you read this you'll have been to ET (I'm a bit slow - sorry!
) I read your second post and you sounded a lot more positive since posting - which is good! 
I hope ET went ok today. My clinic always has someone different so I never get the same consultant or embryologist. My first IVF failed and on my second attempt I only managed to produce 6 eggs and of them only four fertilised and they were poor quality - grade 2.5/3.
I felt very deflated and told the consultant that we might as well stick two in for a laugh and just get on with it. (not the right sort of attitude ) I'm glad he did, because two weeks later I found out that my 'crappy embies' had worked and I'm now 20 weeks pg with twins. So please please please do not give up hope. It can and does work and I truly hope it works for you too.
The debate on asprin is ongoing - I chose to take asprin on my second go (the consultant didn't recommend it and I didn't use it on my first) The thing to remember is its only 75mg/baby asprin - its not full asprin which you are right saying it can cause m/c. However, this is a much smaller dose which thins the blood and some say can help with implantation. I took the asprin each day after ET.
Whatever you decide, I will be watching and hoping, now you have plucked up the courage to post, you will become a regular on the site. We are always here for when people feel low, high or just a bit insane and need to talk to someone about total nonsense (that is usually me!!)
The next two weeks are always difficult when you are waiting to find out if the tmt has worked. So don't sit alone and worry, post some messages and someone will always be here to talk to!!
Fingers crossed for your tmt.
love nikola.xx
By the time you read this you'll have been to ET (I'm a bit slow - sorry!
) I read your second post and you sounded a lot more positive since posting - which is good! I hope ET went ok today. My clinic always has someone different so I never get the same consultant or embryologist. My first IVF failed and on my second attempt I only managed to produce 6 eggs and of them only four fertilised and they were poor quality - grade 2.5/3.
I felt very deflated and told the consultant that we might as well stick two in for a laugh and just get on with it. (not the right sort of attitude
) I'm glad he did, because two weeks later I found out that my 'crappy embies' had worked and I'm now 20 weeks pg with twins. So please please please do not give up hope. It can and does work and I truly hope it works for you too.The debate on asprin is ongoing - I chose to take asprin on my second go (the consultant didn't recommend it and I didn't use it on my first) The thing to remember is its only 75mg/baby asprin - its not full asprin which you are right saying it can cause m/c. However, this is a much smaller dose which thins the blood and some say can help with implantation. I took the asprin each day after ET.
Whatever you decide, I will be watching and hoping, now you have plucked up the courage to post, you will become a regular on the site. We are always here for when people feel low, high or just a bit insane and need to talk to someone about total nonsense (that is usually me!!)
The next two weeks are always difficult when you are waiting to find out if the tmt has worked. So don't sit alone and worry, post some messages and someone will always be here to talk to!!
Fingers crossed for your tmt.
love nikola.xx
Hello Juliana
I hope your ET went well today. Like most of the girls have said, you only need one embie for success. I will have my fingers crossed for the next two weeks for you.
You need never to feel lonely now you have joined this forum. We are all here for you with any questions or worries. I only found this site on my 3rd attempt just after ET and it has been invaluable.
I didn't take baby asprin as I hadn't heard about it until I came on here but you must ask your doctors if it is safe for you to take. For some it is not advisable.
Are you Dutch or just living in Holland? I am half Dutch but was born in the UK and have never lived in Holland but I have more family in Holland than I do in the UK. One of my cousins in Holland probably will be starting IVF soon but he and his girlfriend have said it is not easy to get it there so they might go to Belgium. Is this right?
I really hope you are successful with this treatment and feel free to ask us anything we are always here. I am 18 weeks PG with one baby and I never lost hope when the first two didn't work. You have to try and be as positive as you can. Sending you lots of ++++++++++++++ vibes.
Love Dagny x
I hope your ET went well today. Like most of the girls have said, you only need one embie for success. I will have my fingers crossed for the next two weeks for you.
You need never to feel lonely now you have joined this forum. We are all here for you with any questions or worries. I only found this site on my 3rd attempt just after ET and it has been invaluable.
I didn't take baby asprin as I hadn't heard about it until I came on here but you must ask your doctors if it is safe for you to take. For some it is not advisable.
Are you Dutch or just living in Holland? I am half Dutch but was born in the UK and have never lived in Holland but I have more family in Holland than I do in the UK. One of my cousins in Holland probably will be starting IVF soon but he and his girlfriend have said it is not easy to get it there so they might go to Belgium. Is this right?
I really hope you are successful with this treatment and feel free to ask us anything we are always here. I am 18 weeks PG with one baby and I never lost hope when the first two didn't work. You have to try and be as positive as you can. Sending you lots of ++++++++++++++ vibes.
Love Dagny x
hi girls,
this is amazing! I am so happy to read your messages and feel all the hope and encouragement. I read the fisrt 4-5 before I went for ET and your support really gave me courage which i needed. both my partrner and i were somehow dead scared of more discouraging news, the doctor told us he found one less embryo than desired and i was so scared i almost thought it was only one left or he had some more terrible news. but no, we were just panicking, they were two, he was just saying it would have been better to have three but at this stage were happy to have the two and they they were good according to the doctor, grade 1 and one 3 and another 4 cells but at day 2 he said this was good. so now in they went and i am mcuh more positive and gearing myself for the wait!
alisonn, i listened to you and tried to be relaxed but if youread the above you will know i was not very good at it - but now am much better!
nikola, thanks a lot for sharing for your story, it is really very encouraging and i really start to believe it can happen (the problem is as you all probably know the optimism is dangersous as well when it does not work out...)
angela, you are so right, friends often just dont get it. i have a very good friend who knows full well all that has happened so far including my miscarriage and she still talks as if she would get pregnant this month - well she may well do but i hope she realises at some point i just cannot bear to listen to her discuss the possibility as if it is nothing, feels like i should be more receptive, but that's my limit...
hi dagny, i am not dutch, bulgarian actually but have bean living here for quite a while. ivf here is difficult in the sense that you get on a witing list - we waited one year! but we wanted to do this closer to home, my partner is not that enthusiastic for the treatment, i guess he was living with the idea everything should be natural, but he also has two kids from a previous marraige so however supportive he is (and he ie very supportive) he is not quite in the same zone of commitment and slight madness that i have found myself in. so belgium was not an option. anyway the people here are very good and i can work while doing it for the most part which is great because it distracts me quite a bit and i need it especilly now when i have to wait...
anyway thanks again everyone, michelle, zoe, july-ann, belinda, dolly, angela and everyone that wrote to me, i really am back to a positive attitude which is anyway more me but with yourhelp i will not lose it (well, today is easy, talk to me in 2 weeks)
love to all,
juliana
this is amazing! I am so happy to read your messages and feel all the hope and encouragement. I read the fisrt 4-5 before I went for ET and your support really gave me courage which i needed. both my partrner and i were somehow dead scared of more discouraging news, the doctor told us he found one less embryo than desired and i was so scared i almost thought it was only one left or he had some more terrible news. but no, we were just panicking, they were two, he was just saying it would have been better to have three but at this stage were happy to have the two and they they were good according to the doctor, grade 1 and one 3 and another 4 cells but at day 2 he said this was good. so now in they went and i am mcuh more positive and gearing myself for the wait!
alisonn, i listened to you and tried to be relaxed but if youread the above you will know i was not very good at it - but now am much better!
nikola, thanks a lot for sharing for your story, it is really very encouraging and i really start to believe it can happen (the problem is as you all probably know the optimism is dangersous as well when it does not work out...)
angela, you are so right, friends often just dont get it. i have a very good friend who knows full well all that has happened so far including my miscarriage and she still talks as if she would get pregnant this month - well she may well do but i hope she realises at some point i just cannot bear to listen to her discuss the possibility as if it is nothing, feels like i should be more receptive, but that's my limit...
hi dagny, i am not dutch, bulgarian actually but have bean living here for quite a while. ivf here is difficult in the sense that you get on a witing list - we waited one year! but we wanted to do this closer to home, my partner is not that enthusiastic for the treatment, i guess he was living with the idea everything should be natural, but he also has two kids from a previous marraige so however supportive he is (and he ie very supportive) he is not quite in the same zone of commitment and slight madness that i have found myself in. so belgium was not an option. anyway the people here are very good and i can work while doing it for the most part which is great because it distracts me quite a bit and i need it especilly now when i have to wait...
anyway thanks again everyone, michelle, zoe, july-ann, belinda, dolly, angela and everyone that wrote to me, i really am back to a positive attitude which is anyway more me but with yourhelp i will not lose it (well, today is easy, talk to me in 2 weeks)
love to all,
juliana
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bubblymichelle
- Valued Contributor
- Posts: 1960
- Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2003 11:16 am
- Location: West Midlands
Hi Juliana,
I just want to say that I am pleased that you have a more positive attitude towards it all. IVF is very scary but with the help of us we all try to help each other and think it helps a great deal.
Did they mention to you about not having any baths for 7days just showers? mine did and I didn't have any baths. Make sure you drink 2/3 litres of water per day!!
Any questions please ask away we are all here for you and here for everyone.
Love
Shell.
39wks 2d pg
x
I just want to say that I am pleased that you have a more positive attitude towards it all. IVF is very scary but with the help of us we all try to help each other and think it helps a great deal.
Did they mention to you about not having any baths for 7days just showers? mine did and I didn't have any baths. Make sure you drink 2/3 litres of water per day!!
Any questions please ask away we are all here for you and here for everyone.
Love
Shell.
39wks 2d pg
x