Surrogate is my option

[margirl]

Hello, I am here to get some advice and help if you let me. I am married and have amazing husband. Our love story started a great while ago. We were incredibly happy till the crisis moment in our life. Unfortunately, we had a car accident that changed everything. In the aftermath of it I had severe kidney injury and it was removed...Nevertheless, I got accustomed to a new life and started to think that everything was okay and almost nothing had changed. Yeah, my life was full of love, happiness and laughter again. Over time we decided to become parents. I was sure that we would be perfect parents. Even no doubts. My doctor assured us that we had chances to conceive and baby was going to be fine. Partially he was right. A little bit later I got pregnant. I cannot even explain what I've felt. But those emotions lasted not so long as it was desired... I had miscarriage at 6 weeks. My poor baby didn't even manage to draw the first breath in our world. To say that I felt horrible and my soul was torn asunder equals nothing. That was so awful. Perhaps the most difficult thing in the world to experience is desiderium. Unbelievably hard...I am sure that it was the time when my husband and I experienced the bitterest and the most depressive feelings ever. Right after our, let me say, recovery, we met with our doctor who only added fuel to the fire. It has emerged that I am hardly able to carry a baby by myself. Great news as usual! Anyway, our desire to become parents is unstoppable. So we started thinking about other variants. Nowadays, there are a lot of various reproductive clinics, so maybe someone can advise us what to do. And there is one more thing, I am a bit afraid of surrogate mother refusal to give my baby to me. There were such cases, right? How can I be sure that it wouldn't happen to me too? Thanks in advance.

[Boss]

u r really one of the bravest woman i have ever met. you deserve to have a baby and i think you definitely will. i'm amazed by your strength and hope. that's the way to go. for sure. keep my finger's crossed for you. that's really great that today medicine can solve almost any problem. the development is glaringly obvious. wish you to find that saint woman who will be ready to gestate pregnancy for you.

[Rainbow3000]

Why don't you want to adopt a child in this case? You're infertile and maybe it's a sign of God or destiny? Maybe it's written. You have already put a lot of efforts into getting pregnant. Perhaps, you direct you energy into wrong source? Perhaps God have other plans for you. Visit the church. Try to pray. A lot of people do find their essence in the church.

[margirl]

You see, i really doubt that some magic words in the church or at home can help in such a case. I do not believe in any signs of God and destiny. I believe that we create our life according to our own scenario. If I am infertile, does it mean that i should take if for granted and live with it till the end? I do not think so, Rainbow3000. I thought that such forums exist in order to help, support and motivate... So, it is quite ridiculous to attack me. But as for adoption. we considered this variant with my husband as well and came to the conclusion that it is not for us. Therefore, we are looking for surrogate.

[margirl]

Thanks a lot, Boss. Very lovely words.

[Rainbow3000]

Nobody attacks you, margirl. I just wanted to demonstrate you the privileges or advantages of acknowledging of the belief in our God. I am sure that this belief is a miracle that all human beings can achieve. And if we can gain insight into God's purpose and get a sight of one miracle why cannot appear the other? I mean pregnancy. I have no doubts that you can get pregnant again with God's blessing. Try to reach the essence of my words through understanding.

[Boss]

it seems to me that u have absolutely no idea what pregnancy is. u speak about understanding but u didn't show any understanding at all. do you ever realize what is miscarriage? i'm sure u don't have your kids. u sound like it's very easy for women to get pregnant. but it definitely isn't. doctors warned her that she wasn't able to carry a baby by herself anymore. didn't u get it? i think it was already a miracle when she got pregnant after the accident. u really sound very ridiculous and senseless. try to reach the understanding of my words, rainbow3000.

[margirl]

I haven't met such strange religionist before. Both in life and on forums. I'm so lucky.
Never mind. Boss, do you personally have children? Tell me smth about them, if yes. I posted my story here to communicate with mothers. I want to know more about children. My life revolves about kids. I get up in the morning and go to bed at night with one and the same thoughts in my head. I have dreams about my children. Oh, I saw them so many times while sleeping. Wish it were true in reality.

[Boss]

try to be more like easy-going about all that. i'm sure you will become a mother very soon. personally, i have a son and a daughter. love them to bits. i carried my son by myself successfully and in 2 years we put mind to becoming parents for the second time. but as it was found out it wasn't so easy. i was diagnosed with second infertility. but we made all our efforts to achieve this goal. our little daughter was born with the help of surrogate mother. i don't know what you've heard about surrogate refusal...thats impossible as for me. before any procedures you make a contract with surrogate mother. so, her potential refusal will be equal kidnapping.

[margirl]

Easy-going? hah. That's impossible for me when speaking about surrogacy and all these things. You're so lucky to have 2 children. I'm smiling now It's time to be happy and enjoy every day with your little kids and give them as many warm emotions and mothering as possible.
Does surrogate have any rights for a baby she carries as a matter of law? And where did you do all that? USA? I found a lot of clinics in US that are engaged in such an area. But their feedbacks are quite ambiguous.

[Rainbow3000]

Do not use those evil surrogacy things. They will never help you. If you sin against the laws of nature God will fix it. Do you ever understand what that means? Using services of that direction of medicine you financially back the growth of infertility in future. Do you realise that all these things are interconnected? Giant corporations and money men will only laugh at you when you bring your money to them because of hopelessness. But this hopelessness can be avoid at an early stage. THINK!

[margirl]

It looks like you suffer from paranoia. Sorry for you. Why did you choose exactly me as your victim? You're putting a lot of efforts to dictate us your ideas and views but we will remain unconvinced. Be sure. Surrogacy is the only possible way for me to have a child. Not praying, not religion, not "putting up money for giant corporations and infertility" but SURROGACY. I'm not going to take part in such-like senseless discussions anymore!

[Boss]

rainbow3000, you make me laugh every time I read your posts. welcome to black list.
thank you, margirl. be sure you will have at least 2 as well.
personally, i'm from norway. us clinics prices are overwhelming. it was impossible barrier for us to pay. we found one clinic in ukraine. do not regret about it at all. i've already noticed there are a number of couples who were in ukraine for surrogacy programs on forums. it may be surprising but it is indeed quite popular destination. few years ago i couldn't even imagine that i would be in ukraine. but again... no regrets.
surrogate mother has no rights for a baby she carries. it's your and your husband's baby only. it's your names that are stated in all the documents in "Parents" field. so, do not worry about that. you will be fully legitimate parents.

[margirl]

I get it. Thanks for information. Price is not the main aspect which I personally consider while choosing the clinic but anyway thank you. We with my honey are ready to pay for 100% warranty. But only if it is 100%. I can't even imagine how to react when it fails. AGAIN. No, it would be unbearable for me. I had been already told several times that soon I would be a mother. And now I'm not going by no means to let it go. I'm not going to let my kid go.
Ukraine. Hum... It is indeed interesting. I tried to find out details in Ukrainian clinics concerning the issue in the Internet. But then I decided that it would be more useful to get wise to this from the first hand.
How was it in Ukraine? Are you satisfied with your programme?

[rahulkumar123]

thanks for sharing such a king words