Hi Guys
(Sorry any of my JCBs for the negative tone of this thread but I can't help it)
I am so down at the moment. I was due to test this Sunday 8th Feb. I started bleeding on Tuesday very lightly and my JCBs gave me some hope that things could still be OK. Anyway it is now Thursday and I am still bleeding really quite heavily now..........I am so distressed upset and angry.
It was our first IVF and I know that they don't always work first time but we have had so much to deal with this year........to cut a long story short DH had TESE (biopsy) and they found no sperm whatsoever so we had to use our donor backup............I wanted it to work so much to shed a little light on what has been the year from hell, also it would have given DH something to look forward to since finding out he will never have his own children.
At the moment I am so depressed and finding it so hard to get my head around starting again, I am in such a state I can't bear the thought of going through this indefinatley. I feel my life has been eaten up by biopsies, blood tests and fertility treatment.
Sorry for being the most depressing person in the world, I just don't know who else to turn to and I really admire so many of you that have been through this so many times.
If anyone has any tips on how to survived this please pass them on.
Sorry again for creating a very depressing message.
Love
JenFx
Soooo Depressed!!!!
Hi Jen,
Don't want to build your hopes up but just thought I would share my story with you. I started bleeding 1 week into my 2WW. It was bright red blood and quite heavy, just the same as my normal period. I was so convinced that the treatment hadn't worked that I stopped my pessaries, had a drink and started decorating, I didn't even bother testing on my test date. Anyway to cut a long story short I started feeling "funny" about 4 or 5 days after my test date had been due. My mum convinced me to do a test and even though I was 100% convinced it would be negative I went along with it. Anyway, it was positive!!!! I am now 12 weeks pg with one munchkin.
My advice to you would be not to give up hope and do your test on the 8th.
Lots of Love and Luck
Julie xx
Don't want to build your hopes up but just thought I would share my story with you. I started bleeding 1 week into my 2WW. It was bright red blood and quite heavy, just the same as my normal period. I was so convinced that the treatment hadn't worked that I stopped my pessaries, had a drink and started decorating, I didn't even bother testing on my test date. Anyway to cut a long story short I started feeling "funny" about 4 or 5 days after my test date had been due. My mum convinced me to do a test and even though I was 100% convinced it would be negative I went along with it. Anyway, it was positive!!!! I am now 12 weeks pg with one munchkin.
My advice to you would be not to give up hope and do your test on the 8th.
Lots of Love and Luck
Julie xx
Hi Jen, sorry to hear that you are feeling so low. Firstly I think that Julie is right and you must test on Sunday - I also had bleeding during the 2nd week and was sure that it hadn't worked - but I did my test and it was positive (unfortunately m/c at 8 weeks).
I have spent the weeks since the m/c feeling so depressed - I couldn't bear the thought of having treatment again and putting myself through that heartache - and at really low points really wondered why I was carrying on living. But 6 weeks on I am finally feeling better and looking to the future. The one thing that has helped me enormously is counselling - I can't recommed it enough - it is great to talk to someone who understands how you are feeling and will help you come to terms with what has happened.
Other than that - spoil yourself, facials, massages, shopping - anything that will take your mind off things.
Look after yourself and if you ever need any advice you know where I am.
Love and MASSIVE HUGS
Dolly
I have spent the weeks since the m/c feeling so depressed - I couldn't bear the thought of having treatment again and putting myself through that heartache - and at really low points really wondered why I was carrying on living. But 6 weeks on I am finally feeling better and looking to the future. The one thing that has helped me enormously is counselling - I can't recommed it enough - it is great to talk to someone who understands how you are feeling and will help you come to terms with what has happened.
Other than that - spoil yourself, facials, massages, shopping - anything that will take your mind off things.
Look after yourself and if you ever need any advice you know where I am.
Love and MASSIVE HUGS
Dolly
Me 38 / DH 40. TTC 8 yrs
3 natural pg - 2 ectopics and 1 miscarriage
2nd IVF +ve but miscarried
1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th IVF all -ve
Moved to the ARGC.
Just started for the 7th time (!) Feb/March 2006.
3 natural pg - 2 ectopics and 1 miscarriage
2nd IVF +ve but miscarried
1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th IVF all -ve
Moved to the ARGC.
Just started for the 7th time (!) Feb/March 2006.
jen, i'm sorry to hear what's happening with you both. it is a really painful and depressing time. seeing the pain of your partner is often worse than coping with your own pain. i don't have any advice on how to get through these days/weeks but you will. i hope this cycle isn't over yet.
best wishes
phil x
best wishes
phil x
First of all here is a
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{big hug }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I agree with the others , I know its hard to get your hopes up again for the fear that it will be negitive , But hang in there till sunday and its not a nice feeling that first day that you find out , I know I have done it 5 times , I had IUI 11 years ago before 3 failed icsi's the difference is , is that I didnt deal with it properly and went right down the pan. I was sooooooooooo depressed and it lasted for months cause I wouldnt have councilling only cause I dont think sometimes it helps and can only make matters worse but when I went for councilling for IVF during my last donor cycle (because its law!!!) I actually felt alot better and it is important to use them , they are lovely and FREE!
so plan A wait till sunday and confirm result
Plan B if yes celebrate if no , go out and blow smoe cash , have dinner out and talk about your next try .
Plan C book to see a counciller
Plan D focus on each other VERY VERY IMPORTANT do things together and always talk about it dont shut it away
Plan E Look forward to your next go
Plan F Keep talking to us and we will help you through
OK
Loves ya
Trace x
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{big hug }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I agree with the others , I know its hard to get your hopes up again for the fear that it will be negitive , But hang in there till sunday and its not a nice feeling that first day that you find out , I know I have done it 5 times , I had IUI 11 years ago before 3 failed icsi's the difference is , is that I didnt deal with it properly and went right down the pan. I was sooooooooooo depressed and it lasted for months cause I wouldnt have councilling only cause I dont think sometimes it helps and can only make matters worse but when I went for councilling for IVF during my last donor cycle (because its law!!!) I actually felt alot better and it is important to use them , they are lovely and FREE!
so plan A wait till sunday and confirm result
Plan B if yes celebrate if no , go out and blow smoe cash , have dinner out and talk about your next try .
Plan C book to see a counciller
Plan D focus on each other VERY VERY IMPORTANT do things together and always talk about it dont shut it away
Plan E Look forward to your next go
Plan F Keep talking to us and we will help you through
OK
Loves ya
Trace x
1st cycle own eggs Neg
2nd cycle own eggs Neg
3rd cycle cousins eggs Neg
4th cycle unknown donor eggs Neg
Going to have sisters eggs Feb 06
NEVER GIVE UP!
2nd cycle own eggs Neg
3rd cycle cousins eggs Neg
4th cycle unknown donor eggs Neg
Going to have sisters eggs Feb 06
NEVER GIVE UP!
Hi Jen 
Just read your post and I am so sorry it hasn't worked out for you this time. Like the others have said you must still do the test on the day as you just never know. Look at what happened to Jules K!!!!
It aint over till the fat lady sings!
I am thinking of you and hoping that test day brings some brighter news.
Love and hugs to you and DH
Love Dagny xx
Just read your post and I am so sorry it hasn't worked out for you this time. Like the others have said you must still do the test on the day as you just never know. Look at what happened to Jules K!!!!
It aint over till the fat lady sings!I am thinking of you and hoping that test day brings some brighter news.
Love and hugs to you and DH
Love Dagny xx
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Guest
Guys
Thanks so much for all your help and advice, it means a lot to not be on my own here.
I still feel like the bottom has fallen out of my world.......the bleeding is now heavier than i have ever had.
I will test on Sunday but I think that a positive would be more miraculous than the immaculate conception itself!
At least i have managed to get myself dressed today!!
Thanks again you guys and I will be keeping an eye on the rest of you...I really hope some of the rest of us JCBs have some good luck!!
Love
JenFxx
Thanks so much for all your help and advice, it means a lot to not be on my own here.
I still feel like the bottom has fallen out of my world.......the bleeding is now heavier than i have ever had.
I will test on Sunday but I think that a positive would be more miraculous than the immaculate conception itself!
At least i have managed to get myself dressed today!!
Thanks again you guys and I will be keeping an eye on the rest of you...I really hope some of the rest of us JCBs have some good luck!!
Love
JenFxx
So sorry Jen, I know how awful this feels, as do the others. My clinic told me on both my IVFs to test regardless of any bleeding because they have plenty of women who bleed heavily and still turn out to be pregnant. I know what you mean because when I have had heavy bleeding, its hard to truly believe there is still a possibliity of a pregnancy but I am always assured there is still a possibility so hang on in there.
Will keep my fingers crossed for you.
Millie x
Will keep my fingers crossed for you.
Millie x
Hi jen
So sorry to hear your feeling so down
I SO know how you are feeling - I didnt know it was possible to feel as bad as I did when our first ICSI (with TESE) failed last June. But You just HAVE to give yourself time to recover - dont rush into doing anything -I think we saw our consultant again too quickly and I was just to upset and angry to take anything in.
But It does get better I PROMISE you - I'd be lying if I said you never think about it - I think about it all the time - and still find it hard to talk about what it was like finding out that my tmt failed without crying - but THERES NOTING WRONG IN THAT -IT MEANS YR HUMAN! And I'm hoping that it means next time might be better because I'll be more prepared. Remember it IS VERY RARE for tmt to work first time round.
Take it VERY easy, try try try to keep positive - do all the nice things you have been denying yourself - I'm basically talking LOTS of booze here!!!!! - and then when you feel ready (its taken me over 6 months, so I can talk!) , get back in the saddle.
Just remember how tough you are - you've come this far....dont give up.
Cazxxxxxxxxxxxx
So sorry to hear your feeling so down
I SO know how you are feeling - I didnt know it was possible to feel as bad as I did when our first ICSI (with TESE) failed last June. But You just HAVE to give yourself time to recover - dont rush into doing anything -I think we saw our consultant again too quickly and I was just to upset and angry to take anything in.
But It does get better I PROMISE you - I'd be lying if I said you never think about it - I think about it all the time - and still find it hard to talk about what it was like finding out that my tmt failed without crying - but THERES NOTING WRONG IN THAT -IT MEANS YR HUMAN! And I'm hoping that it means next time might be better because I'll be more prepared. Remember it IS VERY RARE for tmt to work first time round.
Take it VERY easy, try try try to keep positive - do all the nice things you have been denying yourself - I'm basically talking LOTS of booze here!!!!! - and then when you feel ready (its taken me over 6 months, so I can talk!) , get back in the saddle.
Just remember how tough you are - you've come this far....dont give up.
Cazxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Guest
Well guys
As suspected it was a BIG FAT NEGATIVE on Sunday morning........and to add insult to injury my good friend who came to me for advice on preparing oneself for pregnancy and then started trying end of Dec for a baby is pregnant!!
Caz - thanks so much for your advice sweets.........it means a lot.
Anyway I will continue trying to crawl back out of this black hole I have got myself into!
Love to all and heres to the future
JenFx
As suspected it was a BIG FAT NEGATIVE on Sunday morning........and to add insult to injury my good friend who came to me for advice on preparing oneself for pregnancy and then started trying end of Dec for a baby is pregnant!!
Caz - thanks so much for your advice sweets.........it means a lot.
Anyway I will continue trying to crawl back out of this black hole I have got myself into!
Love to all and heres to the future
JenFx
Hi Jen
That must have been like a kick in the gut your friends news.......
Although you kinda new it was -ve, confirming it on test day must have been like rubbing salt in the wound............
Hope you are looking after yourself. theres not much I can say to make you feel any better, most of us on here have been where you are now so I know exactly how you must be feeling....
Although a bit of a cliche, time is a great healer........try and stay +ve and good luck for your next (SUCCESSFUL!!) attempt...........
Sarah
xxx
That must have been like a kick in the gut your friends news.......
Although you kinda new it was -ve, confirming it on test day must have been like rubbing salt in the wound............
Hope you are looking after yourself. theres not much I can say to make you feel any better, most of us on here have been where you are now so I know exactly how you must be feeling....
Although a bit of a cliche, time is a great healer........try and stay +ve and good luck for your next (SUCCESSFUL!!) attempt...........
Sarah
xxx
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