Hi Girls
On Monday I had the most horrendous arguement with my father-in-law....he was shouting and just vile. When I got off the phone I was in such a rage, physically shaking and crying that I had to leave the office and come home.
I don't want to go into detail as they are far too long and boring but I've always known what a horrible man he is, but he has just never bullied me personally. Anyway he called this afternoon to speak with dh and didn't even ask me how I was (not that I care) and dh is furious with him and told him that he wants him to apologise to me....his response is that he did nothing wrong and if I think he did I am a liar.
Anyway the main reason for my post is that I'm concerned that all the distress and upset is going to harm the baby (I'm 7 weeks, 2 days)....please can you reassure me that everything inside is fine, I'm driving myself mad.
Also, I think my hormones are all over the place because I don't think that I would normally get this upset. He knows how hard we have tried to get pg - how could he behave like this, I just don't understand?
Help please!
Love, Michelle xxxx
Is stress bad for my baby?
Is stress bad for my baby?
Our darling son Jake was born in October 2004 on our 3rd IVF attempt. I have PCOS. We're now trying again naturally, before embarking on our next FET IVF possibly late 2005... so watch this space!!!
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Anonymous
Dear Michelle,
First of all Congratulations once again - I have not been logging in much but if I am not wrong - I think this is the first time that you have posted on the other side.
I don't have an answer to your question, but the only thing I can say is that don't let ANYBODY spoil yours and your dh's happiness. You have now received the most wonderful news and NOBODY has the right to spoil it for you. As you said your body is changing and maybe this argument has affected you more than it would have done before but don't let it.. Protect yourself - Don't care that he did not ask how you were.. is you, your DH and your baby that are important.. nothing else matters.
I know is not easy to ignore things but sometimes one must do it.
I am looking forward to seeing your posts in the future. Take care.
Love
Ursula
PS I did read your personal message in reply to mine - did not know where to look to start with.
xx
First of all Congratulations once again - I have not been logging in much but if I am not wrong - I think this is the first time that you have posted on the other side.
I don't have an answer to your question, but the only thing I can say is that don't let ANYBODY spoil yours and your dh's happiness. You have now received the most wonderful news and NOBODY has the right to spoil it for you. As you said your body is changing and maybe this argument has affected you more than it would have done before but don't let it.. Protect yourself - Don't care that he did not ask how you were.. is you, your DH and your baby that are important.. nothing else matters.
I know is not easy to ignore things but sometimes one must do it.
I am looking forward to seeing your posts in the future. Take care.
Love
Ursula
PS I did read your personal message in reply to mine - did not know where to look to start with.
xx
hi michelle,
you're right that your hormones will be all over the place and might react more extremely for longer. that said it sounds like a not nice position to be in, falling out with in-laws is a pain in the bum.
i know its easy said but try to get past it. people can be strange and you being upset won't change it. the early months of pregnancy can be so stressful with sickness, scans and body changes that you really don't need much else to take up your energy. focus on you, dh and baby, which i bet is a much more pleasurable experience. take it easy, everything will be fine and give your tummy a rub.
phil
you're right that your hormones will be all over the place and might react more extremely for longer. that said it sounds like a not nice position to be in, falling out with in-laws is a pain in the bum.
i know its easy said but try to get past it. people can be strange and you being upset won't change it. the early months of pregnancy can be so stressful with sickness, scans and body changes that you really don't need much else to take up your energy. focus on you, dh and baby, which i bet is a much more pleasurable experience. take it easy, everything will be fine and give your tummy a rub.
phil
Hi Michelle, congrats on your pregnancy and sorry you've such a thoughtless and uncaring FIL.
I hope I get my meaning over but he's won if you spend more time thinking about this. All my life I've dwelt on upsets, running them through my mind, over and over wondering what I should have said, losing sleep, blaming myself and getting more and more upset....the truth is, he's probably not given it much thought since, so why should you?? Move on, he's not important; you, DH and the new baby are all that matters right now. I know this is easier said than done, and takes practice but decide not to think about it anymore, put it behind you and concentrate on lovely, delicious baby thoughts. He's a fool to risk alienating you, you've got some very precious cargo there
Don't let him win, he's an arse!
love
Debra (who still has to practice very hard with her MIL on this!!!)
I hope I get my meaning over but he's won if you spend more time thinking about this. All my life I've dwelt on upsets, running them through my mind, over and over wondering what I should have said, losing sleep, blaming myself and getting more and more upset....the truth is, he's probably not given it much thought since, so why should you?? Move on, he's not important; you, DH and the new baby are all that matters right now. I know this is easier said than done, and takes practice but decide not to think about it anymore, put it behind you and concentrate on lovely, delicious baby thoughts. He's a fool to risk alienating you, you've got some very precious cargo there
Don't let him win, he's an arse!
love
Debra (who still has to practice very hard with her MIL on this!!!)
I agree with the others and to asnwer your question - stress will not harm your baby only you in the long term if it carries on but I mean all the time.
We all get upset - I had the results of our son's postmortem to contend with in the middle of my 2ww when I had specifically asked for them to wait (had already waited 13 weeks!) and then his funeral when I was coming up 6 weeks.
The 9/11 victims had even more on their plate.....
Enjoy your pg and ignore the old git!
Love
Tracey
xxx
We all get upset - I had the results of our son's postmortem to contend with in the middle of my 2ww when I had specifically asked for them to wait (had already waited 13 weeks!) and then his funeral when I was coming up 6 weeks.
The 9/11 victims had even more on their plate.....
Enjoy your pg and ignore the old git!
Love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
hihi michelle, like the girls have said your hormones are going to be
all over the place, try not to worry about the horrible phone call, its
just not worth it, basically its your FIL loss, dont forget this is your time
and you should be enjoying every min. of it, i suggest u have as
little contact as possible with your FIL, im afraid there are just some
people out there who just dont have any feelings/undestanding, they
are the ones with sad lives.
As for you and your DH this is the time most wonderful time, so enjoy
and dont worry about the little one he/she will be fine.
take care alisonn
all over the place, try not to worry about the horrible phone call, its
just not worth it, basically its your FIL loss, dont forget this is your time
and you should be enjoying every min. of it, i suggest u have as
little contact as possible with your FIL, im afraid there are just some
people out there who just dont have any feelings/undestanding, they
are the ones with sad lives.
As for you and your DH this is the time most wonderful time, so enjoy
and dont worry about the little one he/she will be fine.
take care alisonn
Hi Girls
I just wanted to say a huge thank you for all your support. I still haven't heard a word from my wicked FIL and I hope it stays that way (no really I do!). I'm feeling much calmer now and can't seem to focus on anything apart from getting through the day as I am so tired and feeling sick (I've thrown up once though).
Sending you all loads of love.
Miche xxxx
I just wanted to say a huge thank you for all your support. I still haven't heard a word from my wicked FIL and I hope it stays that way (no really I do!). I'm feeling much calmer now and can't seem to focus on anything apart from getting through the day as I am so tired and feeling sick (I've thrown up once though).
Sending you all loads of love.
Miche xxxx
Our darling son Jake was born in October 2004 on our 3rd IVF attempt. I have PCOS. We're now trying again naturally, before embarking on our next FET IVF possibly late 2005... so watch this space!!!