Hi Girls
So sorry I am on for a bit of a moan...........and need some help!
I went to the clinic yesterday and I am now starting again (1 DIVF -ve 1 DIUI - ve). Anyway they told me I really need to destress...........lost just under a stone after failed IVF through stress............can't afford to so they rabbit on about my weight too!!
I am the worst person in the world to be in this position........I have never been positive about anything in my life........I would worry about two flys crawling up a wall.........getting continuous knockbacks is just dehabilitating for me.........as it is for all of us on here.......
As I am 100% fine this is going to be the only thing stopping me get pregnant........we have all heard the story about the people who stopped trying and then fell pregnant............
A lot of you display such positivity during such trying times that I bow my head in shame as to how crap I am......but sometimes I just don't know how to do it........I just keep thinking....this may never work and what then?
Sorry to bring such a depressing note to a Tuesday...........but I just wanted to draw from your experience..........
Love
JenFx
Je
Plea for help with PMA!
Hi Jen - I don't post on this side often these days (more of a "life after" girl) but your post struck a chord. Never ever feel bad about posting on here about how down you're feeling. Anyone who's been through the stress of infertility, tests, and negative results will know how despairing we all feel from time to time, and people on here will understand in a way that no-one else, however much they try, quite can. If you didn't have reserves of strength and positive-ness you'd have given up before having treatment, and you wouldn't think about going again, and you'll get over the next hurdles too.
You do though seem to be putting yourself through a lot of tmts in a short space of time. Do consider giving your body a bit of a break if you can. Physically and emotionally having a month or two off can sometimes help.
Much love
Alison x
You do though seem to be putting yourself through a lot of tmts in a short space of time. Do consider giving your body a bit of a break if you can. Physically and emotionally having a month or two off can sometimes help.
Much love
Alison x
Hi Jen
Poor you
. You do sound down. But it is only natural as we go through so much during IVF and all the tests and treatments. Don't underestimate yourself though as you have done so well so far. You do need to take a bit of time to get yourself physically and mentally up to speed inbetween treatments as your body gets such a bashing. I am desparate to get going again and I know my doctors will tell me to wait .
We all deal with things differently and whilst some give up at the first hurdle some of us keep ploughing on to get our dream of motherhood. You have been so positive up to now and so it's only natural to have a negative moment. We are all here for you to help you through it so don't feel bad about posting here.
Be brave and take care.
Love Dagny xkx
Poor you
. You do sound down. But it is only natural as we go through so much during IVF and all the tests and treatments. Don't underestimate yourself though as you have done so well so far. You do need to take a bit of time to get yourself physically and mentally up to speed inbetween treatments as your body gets such a bashing. I am desparate to get going again and I know my doctors will tell me to wait .We all deal with things differently and whilst some give up at the first hurdle some of us keep ploughing on to get our dream of motherhood. You have been so positive up to now and so it's only natural to have a negative moment. We are all here for you to help you through it so don't feel bad about posting here.
Be brave and take care.
Love Dagny xkx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
Dear Jen ,
I dont know if this will help but I too have felt some of the things you are worried about. I dont think i was ever a particularly positive type of person before the ivf game came along. I suppose Im torn between the two views on one hand I try to keep hopeful and do things to relax myself in order to maximise chances( I dont think Id have ever tried acupuncture if I wasnt doing ivf!) On the other hand I think that it could be a total pot luck thing and looking after yourself just helps you cope with the ups and downs of the treatments.
What I think Im on about is that perhaps you just need to take care of your emotional/mental health for a while and try not to judge yourself which will probably have no effect on the outcome of future treatments but will make you more able to cope. All this is damn near impossible when in the grip of despair/ hormones but its wortha try?!
I really dont think you or your stress could stop the pregnancy ( just my own theory!) its just a matter of time and unbelieveable amounts of patience ( which Im also running low on myself at the mo)
Love Annie
I dont know if this will help but I too have felt some of the things you are worried about. I dont think i was ever a particularly positive type of person before the ivf game came along. I suppose Im torn between the two views on one hand I try to keep hopeful and do things to relax myself in order to maximise chances( I dont think Id have ever tried acupuncture if I wasnt doing ivf!) On the other hand I think that it could be a total pot luck thing and looking after yourself just helps you cope with the ups and downs of the treatments.
What I think Im on about is that perhaps you just need to take care of your emotional/mental health for a while and try not to judge yourself which will probably have no effect on the outcome of future treatments but will make you more able to cope. All this is damn near impossible when in the grip of despair/ hormones but its wortha try?!
I really dont think you or your stress could stop the pregnancy ( just my own theory!) its just a matter of time and unbelieveable amounts of patience ( which Im also running low on myself at the mo)
Love Annie
jen, well by putting your feelings down, u must have felt a tiny tiny
bit better.
reading your post, u realy have put yourself thru so much, 2 treatments
in 2mths that realy is some emotional time for both you and your partner,
no wonder u feel stressed. I know when u have a -ative the first
thing u want to do is start again straight away, but sometimes i think
you should give yourself a break even a holiday just to give yourself
some time. I can totally understand how u feel, that it will never
happen to you, just remember u are still young and have many years
ahead of you so dont try and rush, give yourself time.
I have to admit i was 42 when i started treatment and put myself
thru 4 ICIs treaments in a year and it was tough going, a lot of my
friends were very worried for me as i was getting very depressed,
but i did get my dream on my 4th attempt at the age of 43!!!
Dont keep beating yourself up and remember talking is such a great
help.
take care alisonn
bit better.
reading your post, u realy have put yourself thru so much, 2 treatments
in 2mths that realy is some emotional time for both you and your partner,
no wonder u feel stressed. I know when u have a -ative the first
thing u want to do is start again straight away, but sometimes i think
you should give yourself a break even a holiday just to give yourself
some time. I can totally understand how u feel, that it will never
happen to you, just remember u are still young and have many years
ahead of you so dont try and rush, give yourself time.
I have to admit i was 42 when i started treatment and put myself
thru 4 ICIs treaments in a year and it was tough going, a lot of my
friends were very worried for me as i was getting very depressed,
but i did get my dream on my 4th attempt at the age of 43!!!
Dont keep beating yourself up and remember talking is such a great
help.
take care alisonn
-
Guest
Hi Girls
Thanks for your lovely replies......it really is a tough one! Just going to try filling my time with doing other things and do a lot of praying.
Started back at the gym today to try and get some structure back in my life........it would also be a great help if this bloody miserable weather buggered off!
Thanks again..
Love
JenFx
Thanks for your lovely replies......it really is a tough one! Just going to try filling my time with doing other things and do a lot of praying.
Started back at the gym today to try and get some structure back in my life........it would also be a great help if this bloody miserable weather buggered off!
Thanks again..
Love
JenFx
Hi JenF
What are we going to do with you !!!
first of all stop beating yourself up you have coped brilliantlyand have supported lots of us girls on here . you are allowd to feel crap and its not surprising seeing as as you have been hormonally challenged for two months non stop, I find it takes 3 months to really feel me again but thats just me , My friend is a midwife and does sycotherapy (cant spell) and she is a great belivere in that you need to be positive in the mind and chuck all those negitive thoughts out the window, she says that meditation is good for stress and turning your thoughts around perhaps if you stepped out of IVF for a couple of months just to feel normal you may feel stronger for your next try , Im trying not to be patronising as I really dont mean to be , if you decide to go again strait away we will be there for you to give you the PMA so dont worry WE LOVES YA
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Trace x
What are we going to do with you !!!
first of all stop beating yourself up you have coped brilliantlyand have supported lots of us girls on here . you are allowd to feel crap and its not surprising seeing as as you have been hormonally challenged for two months non stop, I find it takes 3 months to really feel me again but thats just me , My friend is a midwife and does sycotherapy (cant spell) and she is a great belivere in that you need to be positive in the mind and chuck all those negitive thoughts out the window, she says that meditation is good for stress and turning your thoughts around perhaps if you stepped out of IVF for a couple of months just to feel normal you may feel stronger for your next try , Im trying not to be patronising as I really dont mean to be , if you decide to go again strait away we will be there for you to give you the PMA so dont worry WE LOVES YA
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Trace x
YOUVE ALREADY STARTED A NEW CYCLE!!!!!! Sorry dilexic!!!jen, glad to hear u have stared back at the gym, my godsend last
year was playing golf (not everyones idea of a fun day out i know !!!)
but it realy did help me, it was just so nice to get out of the house
(was made redundant after 19yrs and spent the next 2yrs at home
trying to get pregnant).
I always found the winters the worse, but a bit of sunshine
and warmth makes us all feel a bit happier, i saying this as im looking
out the window and its just starting to pee down !!!!!!
take care of yourself, will be thinking of you this month.
alisonn
year was playing golf (not everyones idea of a fun day out i know !!!)
but it realy did help me, it was just so nice to get out of the house
(was made redundant after 19yrs and spent the next 2yrs at home
trying to get pregnant).
I always found the winters the worse, but a bit of sunshine
and warmth makes us all feel a bit happier, i saying this as im looking
out the window and its just starting to pee down !!!!!!
take care of yourself, will be thinking of you this month.
alisonn
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Guest
Thanks Alison you're a sweetie.....actually golf is something I may think of, on one of the other threads there is a bit of panic spreading about exercise.......apparently not very good during cycles as it impairs blood flow to various needy parts......don't understand this fully though as maybe it is not as important of IUI.........you just sort of get to the point of thinking.........welll it didn't work not doing it, I'll go about my normal routine and see if that helps any...........ie I don't want to rotate every waking moment to this process especially as I am doing IUI, so well see!
Traci - Yip I'm at it again..........I might not be great in the PMA front, but I am a bloody determined old bugger!! Actually it is more when bloody AF comes that it just wrecks me........I just can't cope, watching what could have been everyday.........once the old witch is gone and I am back in the cycle I am much better.......do have my down days but much better...........good thing is I just stick the injections in like a sink plunger!
Thanks again girls you have been great!!!
Love
JenFxx
Traci - Yip I'm at it again..........I might not be great in the PMA front, but I am a bloody determined old bugger!! Actually it is more when bloody AF comes that it just wrecks me........I just can't cope, watching what could have been everyday.........once the old witch is gone and I am back in the cycle I am much better.......do have my down days but much better...........good thing is I just stick the injections in like a sink plunger!
Thanks again girls you have been great!!!
Love
JenFxx
well jen
I am absolutly sure your determination WILL pay off , this is a very hard thing to do picking yourself up and going again so I guess that you deserve a medal for courage and determination alone !!!! as for feeling crap when the old witch arrives Thats natural and I think your body needs to grieve for it to , at least you have the go in you to fight it and jump strait on the wagon again
WELL DONE
Trace x
I am absolutly sure your determination WILL pay off , this is a very hard thing to do picking yourself up and going again so I guess that you deserve a medal for courage and determination alone !!!! as for feeling crap when the old witch arrives Thats natural and I think your body needs to grieve for it to , at least you have the go in you to fight it and jump strait on the wagon again
WELL DONE
Trace x