Am I alone in this? DF totally understands, it's just difficult when preparing for tmt can go on for weeks and weeks, if not months, then the 2ww....the list goes on
Debra.
A question I've wanted to ask for ages....
A question I've wanted to ask for ages....
Please don't feel you have to reply to such a personal question, but does anyone else's libido take a dive during treatment? I'd forgotten how quickly sex becomes the furthest thing from my mind. I can see its likely causes, all the hormones/medication, the scans and checkups, coupled with tension and anxiety - none of which help me feel remotely relaxed or in the mood to enjoy myself
Am I alone in this? DF totally understands, it's just difficult when preparing for tmt can go on for weeks and weeks, if not months, then the 2ww....the list goes on
Debra.
Am I alone in this? DF totally understands, it's just difficult when preparing for tmt can go on for weeks and weeks, if not months, then the 2ww....the list goes on
Debra.
Hi debra
This is going to sound horrible but my libido was low but research shows sperm is of lower quality if not enough sex (approx every 3 days and sperm was best after 2 days break found out after a few tests
). This was reason enough for me to make the effort. Thankfully my DH was very understanding about not being as active as usual.
Good luck with your treatment.
Shellie
This is going to sound horrible but my libido was low but research shows sperm is of lower quality if not enough sex (approx every 3 days and sperm was best after 2 days break found out after a few tests
). This was reason enough for me to make the effort. Thankfully my DH was very understanding about not being as active as usual.Good luck with your treatment.
Shellie
DH 37, me 28 with Endometriosis
First attempt at IVF in May, now pregnant with twins. Fingers still crossed.
First attempt at IVF in May, now pregnant with twins. Fingers still crossed.
Thank you both for your very different replies.
I'm feeling very miserable this evening so despite Shellie's good words, my vague plan of jumping on DF when he arrives from work at midnight is looking a tad unlikely
Stupid question coming up: if it takes 3m to make the sperm, does the sex not have to be more frequent back then vs. now, closer to EC? Thinking back to mid March, we'd just had our m/c....doesn't bode well does it?
I'll snap out of this tomorrow hopefully.
hugs all round,
Debra.
I'm feeling very miserable this evening so despite Shellie's good words, my vague plan of jumping on DF when he arrives from work at midnight is looking a tad unlikely
Stupid question coming up: if it takes 3m to make the sperm, does the sex not have to be more frequent back then vs. now, closer to EC? Thinking back to mid March, we'd just had our m/c....doesn't bode well does it?
I'll snap out of this tomorrow hopefully.
hugs all round,
Debra.
Debra
Replied to you on the June thread - poor you - hope things better today. RE the sex thing - hardly likely to feel like it are you with the mental pressure and all the drugs etc? I made an effort like Shellie and if you can then try as better for them to produce sperm on a regular basis. To answer your question - yes the sperm is essentially made 3m ago but the more frequently they produce sperm then the more is produced as the system gets used to say producing every day. Without TMI you don't have to be having sex for him to produce sperm do you - just a thought........ if you can
Love
Tracey
xxx
Replied to you on the June thread - poor you - hope things better today. RE the sex thing - hardly likely to feel like it are you with the mental pressure and all the drugs etc? I made an effort like Shellie and if you can then try as better for them to produce sperm on a regular basis. To answer your question - yes the sperm is essentially made 3m ago but the more frequently they produce sperm then the more is produced as the system gets used to say producing every day. Without TMI you don't have to be having sex for him to produce sperm do you - just a thought........ if you can
Love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
Hi
I need to clarify a few details. I have been shying away from the whole sex thing especially since Katelyn died. Not for the lack of poor DH trying his best to encourage me but I just find it so hard right now.
Question - How often should DH ejaculate (oh my, he'll kill me if he know's I'm writing this ) to get the best sperm for EC day? Should I give in or just give him a helping hand - if you get my drift 
Debra I feel like you and think I will jump on him and get his pent up frustration out but when push comes to shove I go to bed and go to sleep. I feel like such a *****. He say's he understands but still has the odd attempt - bless him.
Sorry Debra, that was not a very helpful reply to your origional question.
Love Dagny xkx
I need to clarify a few details. I have been shying away from the whole sex thing especially since Katelyn died. Not for the lack of poor DH trying his best to encourage me but I just find it so hard right now.
Question - How often should DH ejaculate (oh my, he'll kill me if he know's I'm writing this
) to get the best sperm for EC day? Should I give in or just give him a helping hand - if you get my drift Debra I feel like you and think I will jump on him and get his pent up frustration out but when push comes to shove I go to bed and go to sleep. I feel like such a *****. He say's he understands but still has the odd attempt - bless him.
Sorry Debra, that was not a very helpful reply to your origional question.
Love Dagny xkx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
Dagny, it was a very helpful reply actually 
It made me lol which were in short supply.
I don't know the answer but would guess the ideal male preparation would be ejaculating 2-3 times week but not in the last 3 days before EC. I'd be very surprised if there is any difference whatsoever in his being duo or solo those 2-3 times.
DF understands that once the meds and scans begin I can hardly relax at all. Plus depending on my meds, anxiety, a tender abdomen etc, all compete for chief disincentive.
I am however feeling particularly proud as although I missed midnight's opportunity, this morning was a different matter. Funny how 30mins can make such a difference.
Yay, it's nearly the weekend. Completed my teaching work for today...I can kick back and do the laundry!
hugs
Debra.
It made me lol which were in short supply.I don't know the answer but would guess the ideal male preparation would be ejaculating 2-3 times week but not in the last 3 days before EC. I'd be very surprised if there is any difference whatsoever in his being duo or solo those 2-3 times.
DF understands that once the meds and scans begin I can hardly relax at all. Plus depending on my meds, anxiety, a tender abdomen etc, all compete for chief disincentive.
I am however feeling particularly proud as although I missed midnight's opportunity, this morning was a different matter. Funny how 30mins can make such a difference.
Yay, it's nearly the weekend. Completed my teaching work for today...I can kick back and do the laundry!
hugs
Debra.
Dagny and of course Debra who started this
You both make me smile and yourselves which is great! Debra - well done you - shame you can't reward yourself with a choccie bar - maybe a small one?
Dagny - you will feel like this - once you get on the bandwagon again it's fine - I needed this quickly after Oliver but we are all different as needed the closeness.
Once a day is better and ideally not self service but fine if they do self serve than nothing up until the 3 days before EC bit! With self service they produce less or even you helping them to self serve (can't believe we are talking about this ) as if you do have sex they produce more as more exciting for them (even if we are bolloxed because been up all night watching BB or just plain knackered! ) and then it means they will keep producing more - rather like dead heading flowers That and zinc if you are both on it even better - Debra try having it in brazil nuts and prawns if you like those - need to swat up on what else it's in - oops think that's selenium in brazil nuts - ignore me - its all the talk of nuts
give it a whirl Dagny and see what happens or let him do himself during the footie - either way as much as possible to the 3 days abstinence!
Love
Tracey
xxx
You both make me smile and yourselves which is great! Debra - well done you - shame you can't reward yourself with a choccie bar - maybe a small one?
Dagny - you will feel like this - once you get on the bandwagon again it's fine - I needed this quickly after Oliver but we are all different as needed the closeness.
Once a day is better and ideally not self service but fine if they do self serve than nothing up until the 3 days before EC bit! With self service they produce less or even you helping them to self serve (can't believe we are talking about this
) as if you do have sex they produce more as more exciting for them (even if we are bolloxed because been up all night watching BB or just plain knackered! ) and then it means they will keep producing more - rather like dead heading flowers That and zinc if you are both on it even better - Debra try having it in brazil nuts and prawns if you like those - need to swat up on what else it's in - oops think that's selenium in brazil nuts - ignore me - its all the talk of nuts give it a whirl Dagny and see what happens or let him do himself during the footie - either way as much as possible to the 3 days abstinence!
Love
Tracey
xxx
ttc 9 years. 38 yrs old, dh 8 hrs younger!First IVF in Aug 2002 and had ectopic.2nd IVF neg.3rd FET and negative.4th FET and positive but sadly lost our little boy at 20 weeks.5th FET and Alice Isobel and Emily Charlotte born 5th Aug 2004!
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loopylou57uk
- Regular
- Posts: 365
- Joined: Sun Jul 06, 2003 3:40 pm
- Location: england
hi debra,i know exactly how you feel about the sex thing,i am the same,i actually read the insert in my injections and they said a side affect could be loss of libido,so that just adds to the already stress of ivf,dh is really understanding and i just have to make more of an effort.
the things we go through!
take care love loopy.
LOTS OF SEX AND BABY DUST TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the things we go through!
take care love loopy.
LOTS OF SEX AND BABY DUST TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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LORRAINE G
- Regular
- Posts: 234
- Joined: Sat May 03, 2003 12:24 pm
Your posts took me right back to how I as feeling last year through the treatment, I don't think I felt like having sex at all and I remember feeling really guilty as I was almost forcing myself to do it!
HOWTHINGS HAVE CHANGED!!!!
Through this pregnancy I can't get enough sex, I think about it during the day, I jump on DH when he gets in from work, and it is nothing for me to fancy sex 3-4 times a day!!!
DH says it's like being married to a porn star! (He is beginning to look tired though)
I have been way to embaressed to put out a general posting on this, not sure if it is a common thing in pregnancy or not!
By the way, I am 15 weeks pregnant and it is not easing up yet!
Love to all
Lorraine G
HOWTHINGS HAVE CHANGED!!!!
Through this pregnancy I can't get enough sex, I think about it during the day, I jump on DH when he gets in from work, and it is nothing for me to fancy sex 3-4 times a day!!!
DH says it's like being married to a porn star! (He is beginning to look tired though)
I have been way to embaressed to put out a general posting on this, not sure if it is a common thing in pregnancy or not!
By the way, I am 15 weeks pregnant and it is not easing up yet!
Love to all
Lorraine G
Hello....so glad to hear I'm not alone in this. Loopy, thanks for the info that it's recognised.
Lorraine, a high sex drive in pg is a well-known phenomen! The 2nd trimester is usually the time the worries of the first 12 weeks are over and you're not too big to make things physically awkward - most books will say the couple bloom during this middle timeperiod - she looks good and he's getting more than usual!!
Tracey - really? everyday and I need to be there???sigh
I told DF last night and he reluctantly agreed we'd have to give it a go....hahahaha!
hugs to all,
Debra.
Lorraine, a high sex drive in pg is a well-known phenomen! The 2nd trimester is usually the time the worries of the first 12 weeks are over and you're not too big to make things physically awkward - most books will say the couple bloom during this middle timeperiod - she looks good and he's getting more than usual!!
Tracey - really? everyday and I need to be there???sigh
I told DF last night and he reluctantly agreed we'd have to give it a go....hahahaha!hugs to all,
Debra.
OMG 
What are we like???
I must say when I was PG before I was having some very erotic dreams and woke up thinking WTF?
I had a dream about Gordon Ramsey last night! Now what's that all about??? I don't feel like sex with my own DH right now but dream about a mad, swearing chef (but he is quite sexy don't you agree?)
Love Dagny xkx
What are we like??? I must say when I was PG before I was having some very erotic dreams and woke up thinking WTF?
I had a dream about Gordon Ramsey
last night! Now what's that all about??? I don't feel like sex with my own DH right now but dream about a mad, swearing chef (but he is quite sexy don't you agree?)Love Dagny xkx
Me 38 DH 40
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
1st 2nd & 4th IVF/ICSI -ve
3rd +ve DD Katelyn born @ 24wks & sadly died
5th +ve m/c 9wks
6th +ve Twins Sadly DD Leah stillborn @20wks and DS Kieran born @22wks but sadly died too
7th +ve - DD Chloë Mae born @38wks our precious miracle
Dagny, I think the point is 'what are YOU like'? No, Gordon Ramsey doesn't do it for me at all. Not quite the same question, but my desert island man is Ray Mears (everyone knows who he is??? does the extreme survival programmes on our National Geographic channel) anyway....he's ex SAS I think and knows everything about building shelters huts out of branches, keeping wild animals away, cooking yummy meals from 3 leaves and something he found in his pocket (although my no meat/fish diet might be a challenge), he'd look after me no trouble at all. Yep, he's the one!
love
Debra (taking a break from Euro 2004).
love
Debra (taking a break from Euro 2004).