new member/new ivf'er

eacole · Post by **eacole** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 10:53 am

Hi everyone,

I have been reading this forum for awhile and find it so helpful and encouraging. I've just had my first cycle of IVF. It went well, except the last 3 weeks have been emotionally exhausting. I tested faintly positive (11 hcg) and was told that something tried to implant but failed (I also had my period a day before testing). When I next tested it had risen to 32, still too low for a viable pregnancy but I couldn't help but get my hopes raised. Today I tested again and the nurse was kind but straight with me-more than likely will be negative, but if it rises at all, it wont be a viable pregnancy. Worse case, it could be a ectopic but was urged not to worry as it is too early to tell. Anyway, thought I'd share this and perhaps someone has been through something similar? The nurse agreed with me, this has been very cruel and of course I burst into tears!

By the way, I hail from the US and now live here in sunny England-really, we like it here very much. Have tried to conceive for over 7 years (couldn't afford IVF in states and moved around too much) and I have been diagnosed as unexplained, though I've never had a laproscopy and sometimes think I have endometriosis-painful periods all my life, some severe enough to faint when I was younger).

Best to all,
eacole

Traci · Post by **Traci** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 1:12 pm

Eacole
sorry to hear that things dont look clear at pressent but on the good side you have got a + , you never know things may change over night , Miricles do happen. Welcome the site , you will become very addicted no dout that Tracey Sharp and Dagny will come in and wish you well , they will be able to answere anything .
Good luck

Trace x

Tracey S · Post by **Tracey S** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 1:35 pm

Eacole

Glad Traci welcome you first (let her this time as she tells me off if I always chip in first

)

Welcome and sorry to hear about the news. I am afraid it does not look good so won't pretend (sorry don't do that) that it will all turn out ok. One of two things as you know - either it started to implant (which is a good thing) but did not develop or it is ectopic. as you will see from my history at the bottom under my signature I had an ectopic the first time. cAnnot help with the hcg as did not take as test as had bleeding from hell for 6 days so just assumed had not worked. At around 6 wks had the most horrific pains you can imagine and hey ho did at test and pg! IT was ectopic but as I am of the severly buggered tube variety then I suppose no suprise - they whipped out the embryo and the tube and clipped the other. When the massive disappointment died down I had to try and look at it as some sort of positive - which of course it was not really! But it did take - so you can assume that the embryo went on to develop whether it is ectopic or not (hope it isn't by the way) and therefore this can happen again - did for me.
You will get loads of support here they are fabby girls - all of them. Just shout if you need us and once again sorry it's such a rollercoaster. Keep us informed
Love
Tracey
xxx

eacole · Post by **eacole** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 2:18 pm

Thanks very much ladies for the replies. I have to agree that it does not look good...but I do get some mileage out of the fact that it did try to implant, but couldn't quite get there completely. Next complete ivf is in Sept. and I'm trying to be positive but not overly if you can understand (I'm sure you can-helps me to stay calm and focused). I must say that reading what some gals have been through gives me the resolve to continue at this, painful as it is..yes, all of you seem absolutely fabby to the core and it really helps to get this stuff out and to hear back from you!

E.

Susan L · Post by **Susan L** » Mon Jun 28, 2004 9:58 pm

Hi eacole

So sorry to hear things are not going your way

i also no how hard it is trying to stay positive and not getting your hopes up to much at the same time, as much as i tried not to i did when i got my positive result in April and kept getting good signs when i had the scans like it was in the right place and the growth but there was no heart beat and then on the 9th week was told the pregnancy was not going anywhere its so easy to get your hopes up when its something you want so bad.
I to will hopefully be having another go in september with a FET but im not sure what im more scared of getting a positive or a negative

As cruel and as horrible it is one good thing i look at is it worked and i no it can happen that just was not the right time and for you it nearly worked so it will one day and hopefully september will be our turn i wish you loads of luck be strong which sounds like you already are and take care

Susan

Dagny · Post by **Dagny** » Tue Jun 29, 2004 9:41 am

Hello there Eacole

Welcome to the website. I am so sorry that you are going through this. It's just another cruel twist of the knife isn't it after going through treatment too. I know when I found out I had to have tretment I thought things couldn't get any worse and so then when my baby died I realised we are all walking a very thin tight rope clinging on to it by the skin of our teeth hoping we will get to the other side in one piece and hope all our dreams come true. For some of us it just takes that little bit longer and we become stronger in the process.

There is one positive thing to come out of your situation and that's you did get a positive so in that respect it does work for you. I know I am clinging onto that knowledge that I know I can get pregnant and carry a baby.

I really hope you feel a bit stronger to face the future and carry on. I am so sorry that this is happeneing to you. Keep in touch with us girls on here as there is so much help and support you wont regret joining the site.

Take care and thinking of you

Love Dagny xkx

eacole · Post by **eacole** » Tue Jun 29, 2004 1:53 pm

Thank you for the good wishes and your support, both of you. I am so sorry to hear about your babies. Reading your stories, I have to say that your ability to carry on as well as you both seem to be doing despite such sad and terrible news is humbling, especailly because you are so generous. I'm wishing you both really, really, exactly what you are trying so hard for...all the way. I haev to keep going back for blood tests unitl it is a definitive negative, oh well.. I'm trying to be strong-but trying to grieve as well-it is difficult to do, isn't it? anyway, all of you give me hope and inspire me..keep going..we're all in it together now! I'll keep you informed about my september tx, I hope you do too.

Elizabeth

Tracey S · Post by **Tracey S** » Tue Jun 29, 2004 3:21 pm

Elizabeth

You are always welcome for support and help - like nothing better than pretending I know it all!!! Good luck with the blood tests - it's just so hard until you get an answer either way as you need closure if it is not meant to be and then you can properly grieve and move on. Just remember it is fine to grieve - there are luckily not many horror stories like Dagny's and mine - it is rare to lose a baby at that stage which makes it more horrific I suppose. What I am trying to say is that any loss is massive and you deserve to have it treated so at whatever stage and you grieve as you should. You will then feel able to move on if this makes sense and have a jolly good for for September - any frozens?

Take care anyway
Love
Tracey
xxx

sarah stead · Post by **sarah stead** » Tue Jun 29, 2004 7:13 pm

Hi ladies,
I am a new member, although not new to IVF. I have had 2 cycles in the past and did become pregnant both times but misscarried in the early stages. I have read lots of messages from you and I hope that I will be able to get the same type of support and give the same support as I have seen being given. I live in leeds and I have just been referred to a fertility specialist after a break of 5 years and I am sure things have changed and hopefully progressed since I had a cycle. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sarah

Tracey S · Post by **Tracey S** » Wed Jun 30, 2004 9:46 am

Sarah

WElcome and sorry to hear about the m/c's - we just have to try and plod on don't we - don't suppose they can throw any light as to why you m/c'd?

The support here is huge as you can tell - I feel a right old timer (ok you horrible lot don't have to agree) as been on the boards a while now and always sticking my oar in!

There are a few cyclers up Leeds way and My friend has just had IVF twins and lives near the yorkshire moors
Good luck
Love
Tracey
xxx