danica's nitemare (warning, long post sorry)

[danica]

EC went well we thought, followed by ET a few days later, we were set, first time ivf/icsi and feeling positive... the day after ET i was feeling pretty ordinary - i thought i was catching a cold but carried on like normal... by the weekend it had hit me but i still carried on like normal until the beginning of the week... i thought it was strange that i had flew like symptoms accompanied by a very high temperature but no signs of a runny nose etc so i went to my gp who ran a series of blood tests, urine samples (to rule out a bladder infection) etc... i had the review appt the following day - we couldnt believe it, i had septicaemia... what? like blood poisoning but how??? they admitted me into hospital where i had more tests... i was poked and prodded and feeling extrememly anxious and adament that i wanted home!! DH was beside himself too coz instead of getting better i went downhill... my specialist was called for and had never seen anything like this so ordered scans - this is what happened:
i had the hugest abcess in my ovary - an infection from EC!!!!! i am the 2nd person in the whole of 21 YEARS at my hospital... we couldnt believe it but by this stage i was delirious - a lot of it is a blur and i swear i 'crossed over' my temp was sky high, my beats per minute had been 125 for a week now but it had slowed down to an almost stop... my oxygen was at 7%.. my DH thought that was it, shes gone and blame it on the fever or what but i saw a lot of 'weird stuff' i 'floated' and saw myself on the bed and i had the choice of 'leaving' but all i could hear then was DH crying saying please breath and well, here i am....
the whole experience is an absolute nitemare for both of us and our families... i know ivf is hard as it is but for those of u who know me im the biggest chicken (even the nasal spray freaked me) so to have this happen is just unbelievable... they finally performed an emergency operation - they had to go into my ovary which was almost the size of my uterus and drain the abcess so i had a drainage tube and a disgusting bottle coming out of my stomach for a week not to mention all the shots in my legs every few hours, the iv dripS and the oral drugs i was taking i couldnt believe it - i think its the most ive ever cried... how cruel and how much more could we possibly go thru?? hence our positive attitude turned into just nothing... how could this happen? our specialist told us that the equipment they use for EC & ET cant be sterilised coz it will kill the eggs and the embryos omg does that sound rite?? the bizarre thing is that we didnt question anything.. call it shock/disbelief or what but we just accepted everything... it came time to do the pregnancy blood test - one of the ivf nurses came to my bedside and was extremely empathetic - i think she knew what the result was going to be but had to do it for protocol... she rang back that afternoon but i knew the result was going to be negative - how could those 2 little embies survive all that? i was right....
but now that im recovering (physically waay more quicker than emotionally) im getting angry and i will definately follow it up... DH has been amazing - although he's crumbled at the thought of losing me he's still my backbone and its brought us even closer together (if thats possible!)
now i just want to concentrate on getting better, both physically and emotionally but as for our little frozen embryo thats waiting for us - i just dont know... at first it was a definate no way im not doing ivf again but now im starting to think about it so i guess thats a step in the rite direction... plus its highly unlikely what happened to me will happen again and theyre going to put me on antibiotics straight after ET as a precaution... yes it'll definately be at the back of my head - will it happen again coz if it were to happen again i honestly just wouldnt be able to cope with that again - no way but then again, somehow i guess i'll find the strength yet again... 'never give up' is the motto on here rite?!

i just thought i'd share my story and by no means do i want to scare anyone - i think its part of my healing process to let it out... so thanks for reading and im sorry its a long one but just remember - what happened to me is extremely rare and now that u know of someone that its happened to dont worry - hey, i wish my odds were that good with the lotto!!
thanks again, and especially for the support on here, its great xx

[DebraP]

Oh My God Danica. You're right, it was a nightmare. Unbelievable. No wonder you're both still shocked. You must have been terrified and poor DH.

We'd obviously wondered where you'd gone but I'd thought it was a -ve and you were taking your time, you poor love.

Take very, very good care of yourself. Your frostie is waiting for you when you feel ready. You're right, the motto is 'never give up'.

Double Hugs
Debra.

[Joanne104]

Danica

I am so sorry to hear about what you have been through - what a complete and utter nightmare, to have to go through all that on top of your treatment is unbelievable.

Take care of yourself - sending lots of big hugs from the UK

Joanne
xxx

[nicolamark]

Oh dear Danica,
I am so sorry, your post had tears in my eyes. We were all worried about you on the boards, not heard from you for the MArch tests results.
I am sending my love to you, your DH and families. Hang on in there, and Never give up!!

x x x Hugs XXX

[Traci]

Bloomin Eck

You poor thing , how scarey that must have been . Hope you are ok now and well done for thinking about doing it again yeh "NEVER GIVE UP " I am sure it couldnt strike twice on the same person and by god after this they should give you start treatment and no charge for putting in those precious frosties .

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Great to hear you are ok


Trace x

[debbieed]

Hello Dancia,
What a time you've had. I am glad to read that you're now recovering. All I can say really is 'here's a big hug'. Take care of yourself and don't forget we're all here through good times and bad.

Take care
Love
Debbie

[Kaylee]

You poor thing - you have my real sympahies and buckets of positive thoughts are on their way to you.

I can imagine how scarey it must have been for you - people should never have to go through things like this - but much as it sucks - they do, and its normally the good guys!

It is so up to you how you move forward. I had a heart transplant 9 years ago (v. nearly didn't make it) and have been ttc for 3.5 years. I SO firmly believe that I didn't go through all that nightmare not to be a mum at some point. I feel it in me bones

These nightmare trials are awful - but we come out stronger, SO much stronger. Look after yourself, believe in yourself and go out and when you feel ready - go out and get what you desire.

I'm sending you a poem I wrote a couple of years after my transplant when I made a firm decision to 'get back on lifes merry go round'!!

Have you the courage? Do you dare to dream?
Can you listen to your heart and explore what your life means?

Put aside your logic, step aside from day to day
Listen to the music and let your heart have its say

Dare to risk the laughter and see beyond the frowns
With courage in your pocket, theres only you can let you down

Breath adn know your living
Breath and look inside
Breath and hear your heart sing
Seek where your soul resides

For happiness is simple. and life a gift of time
A new discovery day by day

Take Courage - Find your way

Hope you don't think thats over the top (and I don't pretent life is always simple especially with everything we all have to go through) but I wanted to send you some special thoughts as your posting really touched me!

Take Care

Lots of best wishes

Kx

LoL and tonnes of good wishes,

Kx

[CC]

Danica - so sorry to hear of your trauma - that is just unbeilevable. You should get some counselling also about all that - the clinic should provide after all you've been through. Also, take advice -maybe you're entitled to some compensation for the physical and emotional pain - At very least there should be a full enquiry - was it just 'unlucky' or should someone be accountable for this? Sorry to get on my soap box! Sending you hugs, Cherylx

[Sand]

Danica - My God, that's terrible ! It will, obviously, take you both a while to start to get over all this, so don't be rushing into anything. Take it easy while you recover both physically and emotionally.

Sandra x

[nes]

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! That sounds awful.... I thought that I was the only who had the worst case senarios happen... I guess Im not the only one afterall!

I went to have both of my tubes removed last september, by laparoscopy, and when they put me to sleep they cocked it up because I woke up half way through the op and felt them cutting and prodding and poking.... then heard them say that they would have to open me up .... I thought I was asleep, until i realised i was paralysed!!! When I came round I had an 8inch scar ... and I thought that was bad....

hope you start to feel better soon.... take care...

Nes*

[rajiravi]

Danica,
Thats terrible! I feel so sorry for you. Finally I think I am not the only one who got the fever and went into infection. I was so long thinking its only me.
After my first pregnancy 6 yrs ago (a c-section) , I too developed a high temp and was rolling on the ground with pain. Had to call 911 and my DH was terrified as to why I was rolling. My son was nly 15 days old at that time. Went to obgyn and she said, the fever has nothing to do with my c-section and it could be some urinery infection on appendix problem and she drove me out. then came home and still onpain. Called 911, then me hubby and our baby son flew to ER. and the ER doctors did several tests and cofirmed my c-section caused infection. I felt like suing the doctor. But what to do, we just left it. At one point the ER doctor even told my DH that while they are doing the DNC on me and if they find my tubes or utreus very bad, they will remove it. My husnand was shocked. But luckily nothing of that happened.
But unfortunately , today we are struggling to conceive again due to all these infection which caused adhesion in me
oh well!

Thats my story, but you take care and get well soon.Don't know whether to blame the doc or my fate. Your FE is waiting for you.get well!

love Raji

[randa2006]

Dear Danica,
We were all very worried about you and rightfully so! Dear Lord, what an ordeal! So glad you are going to be okay.

I assumed everyone was getting what my doc subscribed - antibiotics both before and after EC/Transfer as a precaution. I thought it was standard, am I wrong? Is this only in the U.S.?

[Amers Or]

Dear Danic and your DH
So sorry to hear about your nightmare event I think that it may be advisable to get some conselling to come to terms with what happened at least so you can deal with your emotions!!! Take care of yourselves

[rajiravi]

Hi Randa,
Antibiotics are given to everyone who has underwent a ER so that you don't get any infection. Hope that helps

Raji

[Amers Or]

Am I the only one who wasnt prescribed anti b's after the egg retrieval???? The only thing that I was prescribed was the suppositories for the progesterone level!!! Should I be worried!!!!