Advice

[lynne]

Hi,
This is the first time I have used a message board. Hope I get it right!
I am new to this site and really wish I had found it sooner.
I have had 3 cycles of IUI and am now considering IVF. Don't really know what to do and the thought of IVF terrifies me.
Does anyone else feel angry? I am not infertile, my husband is- failed reversal. I do feel that I am treated as though it is my problem.

[LittleP]

Hi Lynne

Welcome to the site. I am so sorry things haven't worked for you, I'm going through IVF but can relate to the disappointment of a failed treatment. The first thing I will say is it doesn't matter who has the "issues" neither of you are to blame when it doesn't work - infertility treatment is so unpredictable and there are no guarantees.

You will find this board is amazingly helpful with whatever method you use, there are girls here with experience of all sorts of infertility treatment willing and ready to share.

If you go on the General Forum you will find loads of different threads about various topics, if you don't find one that addresses what you want to talk about, then start one off and believe me you will get loads of responses.

Any questions that you want answers to then just let us know and we will try and help.

Good luck with everything and look forward to talking to you on the Gen Forum.

Take care

Little P

[jacquih]

Hi Lynne
I'm new to this too but everyone has been lovely. I'm sorry you,ve had a hard time. I'm on my 2ww for my first cycle of IVF I have the same problem as you' but its me with the problem dh says its our problem and we'll get though it together if only everyone looks at it the same way
Littlep is right its nobody's fault, chin up you'll find friends here to help you through

Jacqui

[Sand]

Hi Lynne .. Welcome and glad you found us !

The thought of IVF terrifies you because it's the unknown. It really isn't all that scary once you get going and familiarise yourself with the protocols. We would recommend you reading Zita West's "Fertility and Conception". It's worth it's weight in gold and only £15. It is "the complete guide to getting pregnant" and also contains a chapter on assisted conception. Also, of course, there's such a wealth of knowledge and experience on this site ... just ask away - it's likely someone will know the answer (or at least have an opinion !). With male factor, it's ICSI you're looking at - rather than straight IVF, right ?

Ours in male factor, as you will find are many on this site. I feel quite the opposite - in that they've done hardly any tests on me. We know df has poor swimmers, but I don't really know that I'm 100%. They kind of stopped all testing when they found his problem, and that's what we're going with - male factor ..

You'll find the first thread on the General Forum is dedicated to abbreviations - which I'm sure you'll find handy as we use them such a lot.

I look forward to seeing you post on the General Forum. There is a thread (somewhere ! - it could be on page 2) for folk inbetween treatments. Just for your info, each time you add a post to a thread, it bumps the thread up to the top of the forum.

Sandra x

[lynne]

Wow! I feel better already!
I went through the inseminations with no support at all. My dh (see, I've been and looked) didn't want anyone to know. I now know I won't have to do that again- thanks.
I will buy that book. I really know nothing about the process and yes it is ICSI.
Sand- I'm shocked they hardly did any tests on you. I've been prodded and poked and tested. I now have to be re-screened, because they've changed their guidelines.
Thanks.
Lynne

[NickiMark]

Hi Lynne, Welcome. Dont worry we are here to support you. This site has help me!

I am just on my 1st IUI. On the 2ww right now!

[Sand]

Lynne - when I say they did hardly any tests on me, I think I may have mislead you ..They've done all the usual bloods - FSH levels, ovulation etc, but have always seemed more interested in the df side of things.

Sandra x

[AliasR]

HI lynne and welcome aboard!

Our problem is also the male factor but we never got to the part of assisted reproduction cause we found out we had no sperm at all. Before his biopsy we were considering ICSI but ended having nothing to icsi it!

It's really hard on them and we're still stuggling to make the right decisions. I don't feel he has a problem but we do. I haven't had that many tests, just the usual hormones and trivial scans, then again, we never carried out any sort of tmt.

I'm not surprised that you should have so many tests done, after all it's you who's going to carry the pg to term and i think they're just making sure everything's OK to go.

What has really kept me around the board is the people and the fact this is the only place in the worls where people do understand what it's like. It has kept me sane for the past few months I can tell you.

So i'll be seeing you arounbd the board, join the chat ans crazy threads any time, just to have a laugh - life's too serious as it is!

A big hug!

Rita

[lynne]

Thanks AliasR, Sand and NickiMark.
Yes you are right about me carrying the Baby and the tests. It really hadn't occured to me. I felt like they were assuming I had a problem. I know different now.

I understand AliasR when you say it is hard on the guys and your dh must be devastated. My dh on the other hand refused a vas reversal over many years, until, in fact...... well anyway let's just say he left it too late. We went for donor IUI so he didn't need to be tampered with again.His children now have children of their own, so his need is not as great as mine.

I have ventured into the open forum and found people very positive. At the moment I feel I need to get my head around things. There are some wonderful stories, but some very sad ones too. However this site has already given me the strength to agree to ICSI- if you can do it, so can I.

Thanks again.
Lynne

[LittleP]

Good on you - that's the first major step

I don't know whether you have ordered Zita's bible yet, but if not try getting it from Amazon or Play or Zita's own website. It really is a great book - thanks Sandra for recommending it

Good luck

Little P

[lynne]

I ordered it as soon as I read your reply and have just had notification it is being sent.
I have read tons and tons on DI, but IVF is all new to me.
I'll let you know what I think!
Any books to help men prepare?
Ta.
L

[DebraP]

Lynne, Zita has plenty to say about the male side of getting ready for treatment, don't worry! She has lots and lots of dietary, nutritional as well as mental preparation for both parties.

Lynne, I may have missed how old you are but if DH has a youngest DS of 25, there's a chance you're in your prime . If so, do come and join the 40+ thread on the General Forum. Ignore this of course if you're still a young slip of a thing!

Debra (41 and a HUGE Zita West book fan)

[geordie jill]

Hi Lynne

welcome to the board I am new here too, I agree it doesn't matter who has the issues, the point is if one of you has a problem you are a couple with a problem.

I was terrified as well and am going for ICSI but rationalised that pregnancy has its ups and downs side effects and is dambed uncomfortable just the same as ivf so think of it as a extention to your pregnancy and wow it will be worth it to have that baby in your arms and you will have been prodded and poked so much by then ivf will just be part of the process.

I don't know about anyone else but i always find the fear of things worse than the reality!!

Good luck and keep reading some of these girls on here are incredible an absolute inspiration

Jillx

[lynne]

Thanks Geordie Jill.
DebraP- I'm not quite there yet. He's 50- a child bride! Eldest ds 29, dd26, youngest ds 25. 2 grandkids and another on the way.
I, on the other hand am 36.

I may call in on the over 40's sight anyway- if I'm allowed (!). I'm sure many of the issues discussed there will be relevant to me!

L

[DebraP]

Lynne feel free to drop in but be reassured, there are LOADS of people in their late 30s all over this board so you'll be in very good, understanding, company wherever you post.

Debra