Sad news

alisondrake · Post by **alisondrake** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 4:01 pm

Hi Ladies,

I was cycling with the Mayflowers and JuJu babies and got a +ive result from our first attempt at IVF. At eight weeks, I had a scan but the nurse expressed her fears that the fetus was smaller than it should be.

We went back today but unfortunately the scan showed that our baby had not grown at all. She said that I am likely to miscarry soon.

I am booked in for a D&C on Wednesday.

I feel totally cheated and completely devastated that our dream has been crushed in an instant.

I just want next week to be over with so I can move on with my life and think about what to do next.

I know there are other ladies who lost their babies recently too, I have been watching the posts. I couldn't comprehend the emotion that comes with that happening until today...

The nurse said that it's probably kinder if the cycle had been unsuccessful rather than this but I'd like to remember what it is like to be pregnant even if it was for just a few weeks, in case it never happens again...

Alison Drake

k · Post by k » Fri Jul 08, 2005 4:27 pm

Alison

Im so sorry about your news. Its awful that this is happening to so many women on here after what you have all been through to get this far.
My thoughts are with you and your DH.Take care of yourselves.
Love From Kim

cmg · Post by **cmg** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 4:28 pm

Oh Alison I am so sorry to hear that. I don't know what it's like because I've never been there but I imagine it's agony. There will be other people who can give you wiser advice than me having been there.

Right now you need to grieve for the loss of your little one. But hang on to the fact that you are young and you got pregnant with your first IVF, so you know you can do it. There's NO reason to think that this will be your only pregnancy.

Take good care of yourself

Caroline

lumi · Post by **lumi** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 4:29 pm

Oh Alison I am so sorry. I cant even imagine what you are going through but my thoughts and prayers are with you.

I have faith that you will be able to pick up the pieces and move on, but take plenty of time to grieve your loss. This must not deter you from IVf again, many many pregnancies do miscarry. I think the nurse was well meaning but insensitive. Only we know what it is like to long to be preganant more than anything else and it WILL happen again for you.
Your little one was a fighter to make it this far.

All my love Lumi xxxxx

taylorjools · Post by **taylorjools** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 4:48 pm

Oh Alison my sweetie, I am soo soo sorry {{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}

I know your heart is breaking, let the tears flow, it's so important. 3 weeks on I still weep when I think of our little sweetie that was taken from us too. I am so lucky that I started to miscarry and was in hospital so didn't wait for the D&C, I had one night with her inside me to say goodbye. Make sure you use the time to say goodbye. They offered me a last scan print out, I am so glad I said yes now, I have it as proof that I was pg.

If you haven't seen this website check it out, it helped me a lot www.pregnancyloss.info

Now it is totally true that it is better to have had a +ve than a -ve. You know you and dh can get pg, and we saw a specialist today, who said even with IVF/ICSI there is a 20% risk of m/c for some reason, the majority genetic. It wont help you now I know, now you think why me, but have faith my little friend, you will hol;d your bundle of joy one day.

One thing I try to keep with me is that I was never so purely heppy as wehn I was pg even though it was just 7.5 weeks. I have never been so sad as when we lost her. But in some ways it has mafde us richer and strengthened our love and determination to go on.

You can PM me any time, and you could come and join Princess deniseM me and other girls on the pregnancy loss forum..

biggest hugs and prayers to you Alison and to your dh

bigJ

LittleP · Post by **LittleP** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 5:23 pm

Alison

I am so sorry - I just wanted to add my love and hugs to all the other words that have been said.

Take good care of yourself and remember we're all here for you.

Sending you loads of PMA

Little P

debbieed · Post by **debbieed** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 5:32 pm

Hello Alison,
What can I say but sorry. It must be a very sad time for you right now. It seems like these words are so feeble when your feelings must be sooo great, but you have my support.
Take care

Love Debbie

gailp · Post by **gailp** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 6:00 pm

Im so sorry Alison, my heart goes out to you

joanna · Post by **joanna** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 6:11 pm

So Sorry Alison to hear of your loss after getting so far.

Take all the time in the world to grieve and remember we are all there for you.

Love Jo

ogr1 · Post by **ogr1** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 7:00 pm

the waiting is so very hard..
and it is good to remember that you have been able to get pregnant.
every minute matters. weather it is just when they do the ec or the et or fet or using a donnor.
as soon as they have the egg and they are put in you that is your child and at what ever stage it is your hope and dreams and your futcure and it is your child...

please try and be kind to yourself the next few months are going to be tought...

ESTHER · Post by **ESTHER** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 7:55 pm

Alison

I am so sorry honey for your loss. Hope you will recover from this nightmare and have the strength to try again. Yes its hard and no amount of words will heal your bleeding heart but I just wanted to say we are all hear for you to give you that support whenever you need it.

Always in my prayers.

princess · Post by **princess** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 10:04 pm

Alison
Sweetie I am so sorry for what you are going through.
There has been a lot of this recently it seems like. Nothing that we can say will ease the pain I know that. Nothing anyone has said to me has eased the pain.
I had to wait to miscarry my little guy didn't grow from 5weeks on we didn't know that until about 7 weeks that he wasn't going to grow. They kept me going in for tests to see what was happening so I still had hope all that time.
I am not sure what's better having it happen natuarly or having the D&C.
I had it happen natuarlly the waiting was very hard. You are in my thoughts and prayers honey, you and your DH. There are a group of us that are a great support to one another so whenever you need us we are here for you.
Love
Joy

DeniseM · Post by **DeniseM** » Sat Jul 09, 2005 1:48 am

Alison..

My heart goes out to you. This next part of your life will be very hard, the waiting itself is I think the worse.

Hug your DH, and do this together. You were pregnant, and you did have your baby inside. This was a very special time. Take the time to mourn, before thinking of where you go next.

There's a group of us, when you're ready to join.

Hugs, sweetie. You're in my prayers.

missmolly · Post by **missmolly** » Sat Jul 09, 2005 1:58 am

I am so sorry for you and DH. But the positive is you can get pregnant. Please take care of yourself & remember we are all here for you.

Missmolly

NickiMark · Post by **NickiMark** » Sat Jul 09, 2005 11:54 am

Oh Alison, I am so sorry to hear this news today. Hugs to you and dh. You poor dear.

x x

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