Need some advice
Need some advice
Well, another major quandry is coming our way and I could really do with some advice from you guys.<br><br>For those who don't know me, we have been one of the very very lucky ones and have beautiful twins through ICSI (Rebecca and Ross) and had a pretty horrendous pg and have been advised never to try again, not that we were planning to I am more than happy with my lot!!!<br><br>The question is what to do with our frozen embies. We have 4 two of which were top grade and we have three options.<br>1-destroy them (not an option at all)<br>2-Donate to medical research<br>3-Donate to another couple<br><br>Knowing what we all do I am coming out in favour of number three but maybe need some advice. I know we will get counselling etc. and I know how much it means to other couples who at the donation stage it can be their last hope but hubby is worried about what we tell Rebecca and Ross and will we know if it has worked and that they may have a sort of sibling out there. <br><br>Very confusing but any one who has had that experience or any advice greatly accepted.<br><br>Thanks<br>Nicky
Need some advice
Hi there<br>This is one of the dilemmas we faced when we were filling our consent forms. It wasnt anything we had ever thought about and I got very upset when we were thinking about it.<br> Would there be any possibility that in the future you would go back and have them implanted?? I think my clinic will freeze up to 10 years. I know age is a big thing and obviously if you are nearing "that" age then that isnt a issue.<br>Donating is wonderful if you feel you could do it. I personally don't think I could. I would insist that you don't want to know if the recipatant gets pregnant but there again I think that a small part of you would like to know.<br>sorry I know i'm not much bloody help because it is such a legal minefield.<br>Go and see a councillor or ask the clinic what others have done<br>good luck with whatever you decide and congrats on your 2 little miracles !<br>love<br>woppa<br>xxxxxxxx
Need some advice
We are considering DI and I think alot of teh issues are the same. NAmely how would YOU feel about any child born thru this process - would it be yours or the "social" parents. Would you want to be open about it - are are Rebecca and Ross just better off not knowing? <br>I guess theres 2 bits - how would YOU feel about a child out there who was biologically yours - I guess now that you have your own that might be easier to deal with. With none of my own - I wouldnt be abe to cope with that.<br>also - will your children need to know the truth - I sort of think - why would they need to know - it doesn't have to affect their lives? But another part of me thinks (and this is my exact DI dilemna) that they have a RIGHT to know. If you think they do - then the advice that they give you for DI - is just to very gently introduce the idea from when they are very little. About how babies are born in different ways - somepeople need a little bit of help etcetc. But dont give them the full story until they are old enough to control who / if they tell (I guess 8ish??). Thats what I sort of think I'd end up doing if we use DI. Altho I do change my mind everyday!<br><br>The other questions is - if Rebecca and Ross can never find their full sibling (I guess its all anonomous like DI?) then is it more painful for them to know that a sibling even exisits....sorry I am no help at all - just thinking out loud.<br>Bottom line is I dont know what I'd do - but I do think you'd be a saint if you did it! Also I agree with Woppa- be SURE you cant/ dont want to have anymore yourself. My mum was told NEVER to try for anymore - she ignored them and had me - so I have a biased perspective ! Good luck - I'll keep thinking about it!
Need some advice
Thanks Caz and Woppa,<br><br>It is a lot to think about but we phoned the clinic and they will send us more info to help with the decision and we will discuss it over the christmas hols and even if we don't go down the Donor route we have agreed we would donate to research anyway so they won't be 'wasted'.<br><br>I do wish in some ways that I could get pg again but the last time it went so pearshaped that medically I have been warned that I could die next time and dh also said he would rather never have nookie again than risk that (so no choice there then!!!)<br><br>ANyway thanks for your thoughts it really does help<br>Nicky<br><br>